“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.”–Anne Lamott
A Reminder to Pause
I was driving to work this past Monday after an extended break, thinking about my to-do list for the day, when an alarm on my phone began a soothing piano melody. Bringing my car to a rolling stop as I fell in line with traffic at a stop sign, I tapped the alarm off. I wanted to ignore it. Instead, I reminded myself this would help me complete those “to-do” lists with a more calm mind, so I paused my thinking and took three slow, deep breaths–the first of the day.
How a Friend Planted the Idea
This practice of setting a gentle sounding alarm as a reminder to take three deep breaths was a serendipitous seed of an idea that a friend unintentionally planted within me. We met for lunch one day, well before I returned to school from winter break. During the course of a deep conversation, her phone alarm accidentally went off. Surprised that it was going off, she quickly turned off the alarm and then–seemingly on a whim–said “Let’s take three deep breaths.” She shut her eyes and began inhaling, so I followed suit. Our conversation resumed afterwards and nothing more was said.
Turning an Accidental Moment into a Daily Practice
However, on the way home, I reflected upon how much better I felt after we took those three deep breaths. I further examined a few of the benefits that I knew regarding deep breathing. What would happen, I wondered, if I took time more often to take three deep breaths daily like I did with my friend? As I reflected over my typical work week and subsequent weekend, I identified three common times of the day, whether at work or not, in which pausing for three deep breaths would be beneficial.
I realized that I would never remember to take time to do that without a reminder, which meant setting an alarm. Not any ol’ alarm sound would do. Once home, I took a few moments, played around with various tones. My intention was to make the alarm sound invitational, not demanding. I knew if it felt like a chore, I would feel more resistant. Plus, the reality was I knew I wouldn’t be “perfect,” especially in the beginning and given the unpredictabilities that can occur on any given day.
Three Breaths, Three Times a Day
When the piano melody alarm now subtly tinkles, I pause what I am doing, close my eyes (if alone or not driving), and take three deep, expansive belly breaths. The alarms are set to ring before the arrival of students, during lunch, and at the end of the day, right after students leave. On the weekends, when I am busy with household chores and errands, the times still work well.
Creating a Practice That Feels Gentle, Not Demanding
If I am alone, and not driving, I sometimes place one hand on my low belly and another hand on my heart. The hand placement reminds me to initiate the breath from my diaphragm and allow the air to expand the belly, then expand the ribs fully, and allow the inhale all the way up into the heart space.
Other times, especially if I feel stressed or worried I place both hands on my heart in a gesture of self-care. Most of the time, however, I am not alone, given the nature of my job, but I can still pause and take three deep breaths without drawing any attention to myself.
What Happens in the Body When We Breathe Deeply
Our bodies are miraculously created. They are designed, when properly cared for, to function like a high-performance team–each system working synergistically with other systems for the ultimate benefit of the whole. Pausing to take three deep breaths is my way of working with my body. The body responds by lowering the heart rate, decreasing blood pressure, and increasing a sense of calm. The body already knows how to do this. Taking deep breaths cooperates with the body’s natural process and simply allows it to intentionally happen.
When the Mind Begins to Follow the Breath
Our minds naturally follow the breath. If our breathing is short, shallow, or choppy, our mind readies itself for a stress-inducing event. Consistently setting aside time throughout the day to breathe in a relaxed, calm manner, even for a couple of minutes, incrementally creates a shift in our mind. While I wouldn’t say my practice has been transformative, per se, I would say that there are days my stress and anxiety are decreased, other days I notice a bit more mental clarity and focus, and other times I feel a subtle, but real, shift in my energy and vitality. While I cannot say I have eliminated all of the negative thoughts in mind, I am noticing that I am better able to handle my emotional response to a difficult moment with a bit more grace.
A Quiet Conversation Within
Another benefit I have observed is sometimes when I pause, I feel a connection to the “still, small voice within,” that source of wisdom that hovers beneath all of the distractions and noise. It is as if, for the briefest of moments during my busy day, my body, mind, and heart are at peace. I momentarily feel an overall sense of gratitude, a reminder of the positives in my life, despite those negatives that remain. There’s also a sense of connection to other hearts and souls moving in, around, and throughout my day. All told, it provides me with an overall feeling of solace.
Why Three Times a Day Matters
One thing I did not realize before starting this small practice is that by setting aside three times per day to take three deep breaths, it harnesses the power of the “rule of three.” The “rule of three”, I learned by happenstance a few days into my practice while I was listening to a podcast. This rule employs the principles of habit formation to increase focus, productivity, and well-being. The frequency of three breaths, three times per day is enough to establish the habit without it feeling overwhelming, which, lucky for me, is an important consideration.
Imperfect Practice, Faithful Returning
Are there times I don’t heed the timer? There certainly are. I am not perfect, and I am not pretending it is easy to create a new habit. But I do continue to return to the practice, even if I miss a timer, or three, throughout the week. I know that when I do take time for that brief pause to nurture myself with a few deep breaths, I will show up better, more fully for myself and others.
An Invitation, Not a Prescription
Perhaps there is a pause waiting for you too.
Steph Simply 