“Things are just that–things. They don’t make us who we are. They make us look better on the outside, even when we’re hollow on the inside. They’re an illusion–the shiny objects that distract us from the really important things.”–Chelle Bliss
Trapped in the Wax 🕯️
The day had been cool and cloudy, and I had come home with a bit of fresh produce, including a variety of fruit. Given the weather, I thought it seemed like the perfect time to light the fragrant candle, a gift from a student. I did not think about the fact that fresh fruit, during certain times of the year, is often accompanied by tiny little flying insects.
There they were, though, tiny bugs trapped in the melted wax because they had been drawn to the light of the candle. Their attraction to shiny things had caused their demise in the end. I wonder what they sensed the candle light could offer them–if they felt the candle’s sparkling flame would somehow improve their lives.
Did those bugs confuse the candlelight with sunlight or moonlight? Did they think it would help them navigate through the otherwise overcast day? Perhaps, those pests confused the candlelight with bright flowers that nourish insects with nectar? Were they trying to escape some unseen predator and sense that the bright light would blind their predator from seeing them. Then again, maybe they were the predators looking for a meal, or were they looking for a suitable mate?
Attracted to the Brilliance ✨
Even science doesn’t seem to know the exact reasons bugs are drawn to light, and it made me wonder why humans, likewise, are drawn to shiny things? Big vehicles, the bigger and shinier the better. Large homes filled with sparkling appliances, a multitude of large screens, and a variety of other collections, depending upon a person’s interests and means. Closets gorged on a feast of clothes and shoes. Not to mention the cultural attitude about prosperity: those with means have been “blessed.” (I’m not sure what that means for the rest of us.)
Then there is the shininess of beauty, youth, and attractiveness, especially since our culture tends to place more value on the looks of youth over the experience and wisdom that comes with aging. Cosmetic injections, surgeries, and implants to change looks and/or stave off aging, no matter your gender. Your face should be blemish-free–no saggy eyes, no droopy chin, and while a few laugh lines are acceptable on men, wrinkles are not so appealing on women.
Window shopping 🛍️
We are attracted to the nectar of status, wealth, and beauty, and yet we are often as trapped as those insects, feeling as if what we have of it is not enough. This drives us into a perpetual cycle of needing more things, needing more investments, needing more dressings to make us look shiny to others. We are window shopping the lives of others to see if our own shop window is as appealing and competitive-looking as our peers.
Do we, like insects, confuse the brilliance of status and/or youthful beauty with the light of inner peace that can help shine a path through life? Do we sense that when times get overcast, the more things we have, the better able we will be to find our way through dark times? Could our obsession with window dressings come from our own insatiable, ego-driven hunger? Perhaps, we have an unspoken belief that we can protect ourselves from bad things happening to us if we attain a certain income status. Then again, maybe these objects make us feel/seem more attractive to others, in the hope of luring some attention.
Is it enough? 🤔
While I recognize that the words I write sound hyper-critical, please know that I am asking these same questions of myself. Should I do more to “improve” my looks? Is my career enough at this point in my life? Afterall, I am choosing to remain an educator, rather than administrator, because I still find intrinsic value in what I do, even though it doesn’t have the same monetary value?
My husband and I have a home, and it may not be the best. But, it is dry, safe, and warm. We have food on the table, and we certainly have clothes–albeit not necessarily the most up-to-date styles. At the end of my life, I often remind myself, I can’t take any of it with me. Nonetheless, I also know I must save for those end-of-life years, for which I hope/think we are doing enough, but is it?
Why do I sometimes feel I am not doing enough? Why do I feel like I should do more? Am I trapped in the wax of envy? Am I trapped in the wax of our cultural beliefs of worth and value? Am I the only one with these questions/feelings? I don’t think so.
Self-Reflection 🙏
I’ve concluded that it is only through self-reflection, contemplation, and meditative prayer that the answers are found. What is right for me, may not be right for others. By examining our attachments, we can begin to ask ourselves what things/what part of our lives are bringing us true fulfillment, and which are merely fueling our ego? When we look deeply, we see that many, if not most of our things, paint an illusion of happiness for us.
Much of what we have externally is impermanent. Even our relationships, as much as we value them–have a limited time. Therefore, through introspection, we can perhaps see the importance of living more fully in the present moment, completing our responsibilities without attaching to specific outcomes (because we really aren’t in as much control as we think we are) and surrendering the outcomes of our efforts to a higher power.
By shifting our focus more frequently to our internal world, we can begin to detach more from our external trappings. Then, we can learn to dampen the sounds of our ego’s attachments to societal values, and discover richness and fulfillment that comes from fostering our own spiritual growth and the expanding sense of peace that comes with it. The more we shift to an internal focus, the less trapped we feel, and the more we can enjoy and appreciate this gift of living.
Steph Simply 