Cultivating Compassion in a Clamorous World

Your work is not to drag the world kicking and screaming into a new awareness.  Your job is to simply do your work . . .sacredly, secretly, silently . . .and those with ‘eyes to see and ears to hear’ will respond.”–Unknown

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A Quiet Act of Compassion 🤫

I was recently in a local dollar store. There was a person checking out that was $5.00 short of the total amount needed to pay their bill.  The clerk patiently waited while the person checking out asked their companion if they had cash on them. When the companion did have any cash, the clerk quietly offered to give the person the $5.00 stating, “I know what it’s like to come up short when it comes to money.”

This act of unpretentious compassion remained with me for days. The clerk was not doing it for recognition, she spoke too discreetly for that. If I had not been nearby when she offered the money, no one would have witnessed her act of generosity.  

In stark contrast to this sales clerk, however, we are enmeshed in a clamorous, overstimulating, attention-seeking era. Loud-speaking voices vye for our attention as do flashy images, catchy phrases, and repeated catch phrases–all playing the game of who can garner the most attention, especially on social media platforms, news outlets, and marketing campaigns. In fact, it often seems to me that bullying, arrogance, and even superficiality are now considered acceptable, if not desired, traits. While characteristics such as humility, deep listening, and thoughtful consideration are undervalued or overlooked. 

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The Clamor of Modern Society 📢

Furthermore, the use of repetitive, often vitriolic, messaging can undermine our own belief systems if we are not careful and purposeful with our daily habits. In fact, popular messaging and marketing, if exposed to it often enough, can even degrade the way we choose to comport ourselves on a daily basis. Our ability to remain authentically aligned to our core beliefs and values can be further degraded with continued exposure.

How do we remain steadfast in our core values, much less act as an agent of civility, courtesy, and even compassion with others, like that store clerk, in the midst of a popularized contrarianism?  Do we completely avoid social media, news outlets, and other outside sources of information and entertainment?  Do we cut ourselves off from the outside world and live as hermit?  Certainly not. 

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Cultivating Grounding Practices 🙏

I do believe it is possible to stay true and aligned to a path of decency and decorum. It does, however, require acting with a certain level of discipline, such as limiting time spent on social media, watching/reading news, streaming services, and so forth.  Additionally, it further requires creating habits/regular practices that support and deepen our foundational beliefs, such as prayer/meditation, regularly reading scriptures or sacred texts, and/or connecting with like-minded people that enhance, strengthen, and support our values. These deliberate habits of personal energy keeps us grounded and moving forward along a path of integrity.

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Leading through authenticity 😃

By living authentically and intentionally, we don’t need a megaphone or platform to share our message.  Instead, we can focus on our primary responsibility, which is to cultivate our own work and/or calling in order to positively contribute to the world around us.  It is not necessary to proselytize and strive for attention in order to do this; our actions can speak for themselves.

If we choose to live and work from a place of inner strength, we can foster the power of a quiet presence, leading by example rather than boasting and posting all of the ways others should live/act/work. This doesn’t mean that we don’t set expectations for ourselves, or for others, if we happen to be in a leadership position, it just means we don’t publicly berate others who don’t meet those standards, nor do we boast about our own accomplishments. Rather, we can strive to strike a balance between leading by example and fostering an attitude of support in order to lift up others, so that they, too, can reach their potential. Helping others reach expectations can be achieved without a bully-pulpit.

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Trust the process

Of course, there will always be times of resistance and discouragement, both personally and when working with others. However, forcing or attempting to control often leads to more resistance.  I know as a teacher, and on a personal level, when asking a child–or myself for that matter–to learn a new and difficult task, the more I push the child, or myself, the more resistance I often encounter. 

Sometimes, we have to step back and trust the natural unfolding of awareness, which isn’t easy.  It often takes time, space, and many attempts that end in failure before the a-ha moment arrives. However, by allowing others, or ourselves, to awaken at their (our) own pace, we create a more sustainable and respectful relationship with others and/or with our own work

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Be a catalyst for change

The power to be a catalyst for change resides within ourselves and within others, but it doesn’t require force or brash tactics. Instead of being rude, loud, or stridently trying to convince or control others, we can choose instead to live with consistent habits that foster our integrity, allowing us to lead by example, and work for change through our actions, choosing to empower, encourage, and uplift those around us. By quietly setting an example, embodying our core values, faith, and beliefs, our presence can inspire and affect the world around us.

Generosity Ripples

Witnessing that one small act, served as a reminder that our energy and intentions have the power to make an impact. It further illustrates the importance of humble generosity–doing the right and/or kind thing quietly and habitually, without fanfare or need for attention, can still have a positive influence that spreads. Just as a spring petal falls from its tree and gently floats on currents of air until it lands on the waters of a nearby stream, creating ripples from the center of the stream to its banks, so do deeds of goodness and mercy continue on.

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Saint Nicholas of Myra, a story of service and generosity

“The giver of every good and perfect gift has called upon us to mimic His giving, by grace, through faith, and this is not of ourselves.”–St. Nicholas of Myra

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Heart-warming Stories . . . 📖

I have always appreciated heart-warming stories–you know the type.  The wronged protagonist, our underdog hero, faces one insurmountable challenge after another.  Just when you think the bad guys are truly going to get him or her, the protagonist finds a way to persevere, inspiring mere-mortals that we too can be like the protagonist.  

Those comforting stories are like cotton-candy, light, sweet, and sticky. Instead of needing to clean your hands, it’s the story that sticks around in your mind, inspiring you to perhaps make a change in your own life.  That sums up the legend of Saint Nicholas of Myra.

My interest in the story of Saint Nicholas was piqued when our school pastor, Rev. Monsignor Dean G. Borgmeyer, spoke of the upcoming Feast of Saint Nicholas at a school church service.  I wanted to learn a bit more about him and conducted a brief search. From Britannica to Farmer’s Almanac and from the Cincinnati Enquirer to National Today and a few others, my gleanings yielded a variety of lore associated with St. Nicholas.

By the time this is published, the Feast of Saint Nicholas will have already occurred in Western Christian countries on December 6, including the United States; however, it won’t occur in the Eastern Christian countries until December 19. Nonetheless, his legend, and all the variations of it, is a heartening story.  In fact, it inspired many of our current traditions and notions centered around the present-day conception of Santa Claus.

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. . . Get Into your Head . . . 🧐

Some sources say that Nicholas was born to wealthy parents in the 3rd or 4th century in the Lycian seaport village of Patra, Turkey. It is believed that he traveled to Egypt and Palestine during his youth.  Tragically, however, according to one account, his parents died when he was quite young due to an epidemic sweeping the area.  This same report added that because he was raised Christian, Nicholas ultimately sold his belongings, dedicated his life to one of service, and then used his inheritance to help others.  At some point during his years of service to the church, he returned to Lycia, and there, he was made Bishop of Myra, one of the youngest men to be named bishop. 

Most sources emphasize his dedication to helping children in particular.  In fact, the one most often repeated stories are variations of how he helped a poor father keep his three daughters from a life of poverty, slavery, or prostitution by providing each of them with a dowry.  One account stated that stockings filled with gold coins were lobbed through a window of the family’s home and landed in shoes near the hearth.  Another account simply stated that gold coins were mysteriously found in their shoes.  In a similar fashion, unrelated to the three daughters, it is also claimed that children would find gold coins in their stockings that were left outside to dry after washing, and it was a widely held belief that this was the work of Bishop Nicholas.  

All sources agree that Nicholas was imprisoned for his good works and probably tortured during the Roman persecutions of Christians. Most likely he was released during the reign of Constantine the Great and continued his life devoted to helping those in need.  He was supposedly declared a saint on the same day he died at an estimated age of 73.

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. . . Melt your heart . . . ♥️

His reputation for kindness and generosity grew because it is believed most of his gifts to others were given anonymously, and as a result, there are many wildly, unbelievable legends and miracles associated with Saint Nicholas. One such miracle was of a crazed butcher who chopped up three young kids and hid them in brine.  Supposedly, Nicholas was able to fully restore the lives of all three children and return them whole and healthy to their parents. Another story tells of a kidnapped son being returned to his family one year later, guided by Bishop Nicholas, years after his death. 

However, for me the greatest takeaway of the story of Saint Nicholas is the idea of practicing generosity and kindness to others, not just through the holiday season, but throughout the year–especially in an anonymous or low-key manner as part of a regular practice. In fact, during the recent funeral of Rosalynn Carter, her pastor talked about the fact that she understood the message of living a life of faith and service intellectually in her head.  That intellectual seed of understanding became planted in her heart, and the desire to share and love others grew from that planted seed of faith.  From her heart, a passion for generosity and service moved to her hands via actions.  Over time, these acts of service and kindness became a regular practice, thus creating a habit.  Head. Heart. Hands. Habit.

The story of St. Nicholas is quite similar, and you don’t have to believe all parts of his legend to get the message.  The protagonist understood at a young age the importance of faith and serving others.  Due to this belief, he soon learned to embrace and embody the idea of service into actions.  Then, the act of kindness and generosity became so ingrained in him that service, kindness, and generosity became the habit of his life–even if it meant facing persecution for it.  Head. Heart. Hands. Habit.

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. . .And move your hands to action 🤝

As 2023 winds down with the holiday season, it is so easy to get wrapped up (honestly, no pun intended, but it does fit) in commercial, marketing hype, which can lead to stress, over-obligating, and overspending–which creates even more stress and anxiety which is self-focused. While I am not saying you should not participate and enjoy the holiday season, rather I encourage all of us to also take time to reflect on our own head, heart, hands, and habits of 2023.  

How can we more often incorporate acts of service? Can we find ways to practice generosity and kindness regularly and/or anonymously? Can we carry that spirit of Saint Nicholas beyond the holiday season and look for ways to continue in 2024.  If we can intellectually convince ourselves of the value of service to others, however small, then maybe our hearts would soften and open to the idea. From that softened heart, we might find the audacity to commit our hands in 2024 to some form of humble service–not because we want others to know, or we want a tax-write off, but because it is simply the right thing to do. Could it, would it, become a habit?  What would happen if there were more people like Mrs. Carter or like the legendary St. Nicholas?