“Gratitude is the antidote to fear. When we focus on what we are grateful for, fear loses its grip on us.”–Michael J. Fox
Curse those unexpected events 🤬
I can’t help but feel the irony that my most recent piece of writing centered on the topic of unexpected, terrible events that seem to break our lives’ direction, only to find myself once more experiencing another one of those frustrating events. Perhaps, Divine Providence feels I still haven’t learned enough. Then again, maybe it is all part of life’s continuous process of change and learning. Regardless, I am once more a humbled student of life.
My husband, John, and I, had just completed our first day of professional development for the 2023-2024 school year in Charleston, WV. It had been a long day, and we still needed to go vote in the Ohio special election before heading home. Facing over an hour’s drive to get to the polling location, which was not our normal precinct due to this unusual nature of this election, John and I navigated congested Charleston roads, making our way towards Interstate 64.
We stopped at a red light on WV 119 with three cars in front of us. John had just commented on the amount of traffic when, BANG! CRUNCH! SCREECH! Only seconds passed, and as the shock of suddenly being whipped quickly forward and backward began, several thoughts flashed through my head in staccato fashion.
You know from the sound, it can’t be good 🚦
What is happening? What was that sound? Is John ok? Did we just get hit? We just got our car fully repaired from a February incident when a spooked deer collided into the rear bumper and passenger side door. This. Can’t. Be. Happening.
“Are you okay?” My husband asked as the reality of his voice slapped my thoughts back to my surroundings.
I was okay. He was okay. We were both buckled, and seemingly uninjured. First point of gratitude.
There’s no Choice But surrender 😩
I could go on, but many of us have been there–that sickening moment when you have no choice but to surrender to the bad event that is happening and let go of any future thoughts and planning. There is nothing to do, but remain present in the moment at hand. It sounds simple, but it is incredibly difficult. My mind kept racing to future events, such as the evening ahead, the impact this would have on the coming days and weeks as well as the amount of time and money that would be lost as a result of this incident.
However, none of those racing thoughts would help me at that moment. Instead, I had to focus on the needs of the moment. Call 911. Check on the person who hit us. Call insurance. Retrieve our registration and insurance information.
Gratitude in the midst of chaos ✨
In the midst of the din of traffic and my galloping thoughts, I began assessing and readjusting to reality as a moment of clarity occurred. We were at the bottom of a hill. There had been three cars ahead of us at that red light. If the person who hit us had been speeding down that hill, the impact, and the numbers affected, would have been so much worse. Second point of gratitude.
The person who hit us appeared uninjured, but they were confused. This person honestly spoke to John and I as well as the police officers at the scene. They did not remember hitting us. Specifically, they did not know if they had, “fallen asleep or zoned out or what.” They were profusely confused and also sorry. This person could have lied, but they did not. Third point of gratefulness.
Traffic, along this corridor of multiple lanes and exit lanes, was heavy throughout the time our two cars (the person who hit us and ours) were pulled off to the side of the road. The August sun beat down on the blacktop; and yet, it was an unusually cool day for the time of year. While no one stopped to offer help, neither did any vehicles collide into our cars, despite the fact that the berm, onto which we were pulled over, was narrow. Fourth and fifth points of gratitude.
Emotional Rescue 🚑
Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t a saint at that moment, cheerily ticking off happy, grateful thoughts like petals of a daisy–not by a long shot! I wanted to cry, or even scream at the heavens, “Why us, again?” My emotions were vying to rise to the surface, but I managed to keep them in-check.
But, really, those emotions were nothing but fear. Fear of the impact on John. Fear of the unknown costs. Fear of the unknown impact on my body as I recently had surgery. Fear of losing our family car once again. Fear of the change this would cause. Even the fear of inconveniencing others to pick us up and help us get home since our car was no longer driveable.
Grace and Gratitude 🙏
However, the grace of the moment was that gratitude kept nagging me like a persistent toddler pulling on the hem of my shirt. It could have been so much worse. So many other people could have been impacted by this. We were safe and alive, how could I not be grateful?
My car was broken, but not my body. My car was taken away on a flatbed tow truck, but neither John, nor the person who hit us, or me, had to be taken away on the flatbed gurney of an ambulance. The police officers who attended to the scene were professional, courteous, and efficient. Indeed, one officer shared that our accident was their sixth car accident of the day on that stretch of road. Miraculously, not one person had been hurt in any of those fender benders. More points of gratitude.
I was able to text my daughter, Maddie, who is now a co-worker, and happened to have carpooled with a couple of other teachers to the same professional development as John and me. The three of them were able to turn around and safely pick us up. Once at Maddie’s apartment, she was able to drive John and me directly to the polling center before it closed, and then take us home, where we have two other old vehicles that we can use in a pinch. More points of gratitude.
Gratitude is a practice 😊
The rest of the day, and the days that followed, were not, nor will not, be all rainbows, kittens, and puppies. I still struggle with change. However, this real life experience offered a reminder that bad days will happen, life can change in an instant, change is ever present, and it is an illusion to think we are in control. But we can choose to practice gratitude. Practicing gratitude can help us put bad days into perspective, appreciate what we already have, quell our fears, and remind us that even though we cannot control events in our lives, we can control our attitude and find things for which to feel grateful.
Steph Simply 