Navigating Life’s Construction Zones: A Path to Self-Improvement

Construction is a matter of optimism; it’s a matter of facing the future with optimism.”–Cesar Pelli

A construction site on a road featuring orange traffic barrels, traffic lights indicating a red signal, and a view of green hills in the background.
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Summer Roads and Slowdowns: A Familiar Frustration 🚧

It’s the height of the summer travel season. This year, AAA projected that 61.6 million Americans will travel by car between June 28 and July 6. That’s a lot of drivers on the roads! And more likely than not, most of those drivers will encounter some sort of delays or rerouting due to construction. 

Those orange barrels, detour signs, and dusty, smoke-filled roads can wreak havoc on estimated times of arrival, impeding drivers’ progress. Traversing a construction-filled route recently, it occurred to me that just as roads need maintenance, upkeep, and improvement, our lives can also benefit from similar attention. In fact, summer road construction serves as an excellent reminder for how we, too, must assess, repair, and improve our own lives.

Like it or not, road repairs are a necessary part of travel. Winter and spring often ravage roads due to ice, snow, freeze, thaw, excessive rain and so forth.  Potholes, cracked pavement, faded lines, and broken shoulders or guardrails can reduce safety and severely damage tires, rims, alignment, suspension, and so forth. Thus, in order to function properly, roads require regular repair and upkeep. 

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The Wear and Tear We Can’t Always See 😓

The same is true for our own lives; we, too, experience wear and tear, but it is expressed differently in each of us. Signs may include physical and/or mental fatigue, burn out, and/or incremental increase of poor habits.  Other signs might include unresolved conflict, a sense of drifting or lack of purpose; and/or for others, it could be increased feelings of anxiety, sadness, or indifference. Like potholes on a road, it is important to not ignore these symptoms and instead cultivate a sense of caring curiosity as if we were concerned for a child–only it is concern for ourself–and it begins with an honest self-assessment of our emotional, mental, physical, and even relational well-being.

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Reading the Signs: Time for a Personal Detour ↪️

As with construction, upon reflection we might discover that many of our difficulties and discomforts created ruts, broken shoulders and cracks in our own personal life. These impediments signal that we may need to reroute our own life in order to make internal repairs. In the same way construction zones temporarily create detours, rerouted traffic, and lane shifts, personal redirection can likewise be thought of as a temporary, but necessary setback for long-term improvement. 

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Detours with Purpose: Reframing Setbacks as Redirection ↩️

These life detours, be they physical-health and/or mental well-being crisis, a death, divorce, and so on, typically create obstacles–a change in what we think is “the plan.”  However, just as construction zones are there to repair the road, our healing, growth, and ability to move towards wholeness often begins as we experience these hurdles. Therefore, it is helpful to reframe our thinking around these life detours and obstacles as opportunities for not only healing, but also reflection, intervention, or a necessary challenge to a long-held personal perspective.

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Grit, Heat, and Hard Work: The Labor of Self-Growth 🥵

Another important point to consider with regards to road construction is that the work crew must endure a wide array of weather conditions, including extreme heat and humidity that accompanies summer. A return to safe and smooth roads cannot occur without their effort, perseverance, sweat, and labor. Likewise, personal growth and/or physical healing often requires a similar level of grit. 

Whether we participate in therapy, work to improve or create beneficial habits, set clear–and perhaps new–boundaries, work to forgive, and/or learn a new skill or life lesson (or both), personal construction demands that we put in the work. Discomfort, like construction, is a necessity.  Growth and healing are not easy and rarely occur without challenge and effort.

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Preventive Maintenance: Investing in Long-Term Well-Being 😃

Another important consideration to effective road repair is that maintenance should be ongoing, rather than deferred, as this can lead to greater road damage and travel hazard. By taking care of ongoing small issues as they arise, bigger problems can be prevented in the future. 

Similarly, our own “self-maintenance” is also a worthwhile investment in order to reduce the likelihood of a major life-repair. Taking time to invest in our own daily health through quality sleep, good nutrition, stress management, physical exercise, fostering healthy relationships, and even learning new things–can be thought of as small personal investments that pay dividends towards our own long term “infrastructure.”  

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Building a Support Crew: Don’t Travel Alone 😁

That said, sometimes personal maintenance can sometimes feel like “one more thing to do” especially when we’re in the midst of a life-storm. Therefore, it can be helpful to cultivate a “crew,” a few good people who can share our times of smooth sailing, encourage our development and/or maintenance of positive habits, and also support us during those bumpy passage days. Ultimately, with regular self-care maintenance and a good support crew, we can cultivate a strong inner foundation that is better able to withstand life’s pressures and storms.

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Freshly Paved Paths: Signs of Inner Progress 🥹

One of the best parts of road construction occurs when it is finally completed. Routes are once more open, and the ease and smoothness of traveling these roads signals tangible progress. In fact, driving effortlessly over a direct route without detours, potholes, or bumps can be a liberating feeling. 

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Progress, Not Perfection: Life Is Always Under Construction 🦺

Unfortunately, it never lasts for long. Rainy season, freeze-thaw season, excessive travel, or 1,000 other scenarios means construction will once again occur, if not specifically on the newly refurbished route. It’s all part of the process of progress–one never attains perfection when it comes to infrastructure–there’s always room for improvement.

Equally, on the other side of our own personal repairs, detours, and/or maintenance, we gradually return to a sense of homeostasis.  Our rerouted life may possess a greater sense of clarity, restored confidence, better decision making skills, and perhaps even a deeper sense of joy. We, too, may feel the momentum to move forward in a renewed direction and embrace the possibilities that come with an unexpected, but freshly paved path.

Smiling woman wearing a cozy sweater, expressing joy and warmth.
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Final Thoughts: Be the Engineer of Your Own Journey 👷

To be sure, summer construction can seem like a real drag on travel; however, it ultimately leads to new routes, expanded systems of travel that are safer and more efficient. However, even when the summer construction season comes to an end, the maintenance of these roads does not end, and that is worth remembering.

Likewise, summer construction reminds us that we are the engineers of our own lives. No, we cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can control our reactions AND we can also make repairs as needed as well as prevent some issues from arising. Therefore, let’s be as proactive as possible through regular sustainment of our own life-construction, so that when life’s storms create a pothole–or five–we are fortified with the strength our regular maintenance and upkeep provides us. In life, as in roads, it’s about progress, not perfection. 

I’ll see you out there on the road of life!

.

Transform Your Mindset: Embrace New Experiences

“Your perspective is always limited by how much you know. Expand your knowledge and you will transform your mind.”–Bruce H. Lipton

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Dreams That Spark Reflection and awaken the Mind 🎆

Recently, I have been experiencing an active dream life. While I do go through periods when I don’t recall my dreams, lately my nights have been filled with vivid, frightful nightmares. In my dreamlike state, I try to “change the channel,” but my mind keeps slipping right back into the same harrowing scenario. These restless nights inspired me to think about how in life, similar to TV (or any current media platform for that matter) without deliberately changing the channel, our point of view can become limited.

From Antennas to Awareness: Early Lessons in Limits 📺

As a child, there were no cable or streaming platforms.  Our family, like the families around us, relied on a TV antenna on top of the house in order to watch local stations.  Theoretically, we should have been able to watch three to four local stations–ABC, CBS, NBC, and PBS.  However, we were surrounded by hills, and as a result, most days, NBC was the only  station we could clearly view. I’d hear classmates talk about shows on other networks, but unless we visited my grandparents, who had better reception, our viewing options were limited.

Books: Windows to the world 📚

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Fortunately, we did not rely on TV as we had access to a wide array of books and magazines through school, the bookmobile, at the house of my grandparents as well as in  my own home.  Therefore, my viewpoint expanded beyond my small-town bubble through reading.

College as a Catalyst for Perspective 🤔

Later, when I attended Ohio University, in Athens, OH, my worldview was dramatically shifted. Though Athens is no metropolis, the diversity of students, professors, and wide-array of sources of information was striking compared to what I had known in the Tri-State area. This was especially true since I lived in an international dorm with students from around the world. Conversations in these halls opened my eyes to new ways of living, thinking, and even eating.

Cultural Conversations and Culinary Discoveries

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My roommate from Singapore opened my eyes to the water shortages her country was experiencing at the time. In her home apartment complex, water was available only during scheduled times—long showers were out of the question. Her story stuck with me as a concrete example of the finiteness of water.

 Meanwhile, students from Denmark and Sweden introduced me to cheeses that I never before heard of, much less tasted.  A French student was the first person to introduce me to espresso, while students from Vietnam and Korea introduced me to a wide array of spices that would not have been locally available at that time.

Voices from Different Lives 😃

I had a classmate named Annette, the daughter of a military family, who’d lived all over the world. Her life experiences, and the breadth of cultural understanding, was remarkable. She was heads and shoulders above the rest of us in global knowledge and awareness.

In contrast, another classmate, Jerry, grew up on a nearby family farm on the outskirts of campus. He illustrated, first-hand, the struggles of family-farming, the weight of the financial hardship often felt by these families, and the deep faith it takes to persevere.

Spiritual Exploration Through Diverse Worship 🙏

Also, while attending OU, I visited churches of different denominations around campus. This provided direct experience with other forms of worship different from my own upbringing. Each service challenged and broadened my appreciation of varying faith communities.

Travel: Expanding the Map of Understanding 🗺️

As an adult, my perspective has continued to unfold through travel. My husband, daughter, and I have explored various parts of the U.S. from coast to coast and visited several Canadian provinces. During these trips we meet people from all walks of life. These encounters demonstrate the common threads of living as well as the unique–and some not so unique–struggles all humans face. These conversations continue to deepen my empathy and allow me to see cultural events, governmental policies, and life experiences through the eyes of others.

The Environment: Witnessing Earth’s Fragility 🌲

Since most of our travels center around natural and historic sites, my perspective has been further stretched in two important ways. First, traveling reinforces my profound respect for the limited nature of Earth’s resources. Over the years I have witnessed firsthand miles of forests decimated by logging or (most recently) flooding/storms, walked along shores of a fragile coastline in a constant state of erosion, and visited places in which the air quality was at near unbreathable levels due to drought-related dust storms or fires. These expeditions serve as tangible reminders that our environment is not infinite, and it is urgent that we protect/care for it.

History: Lessons in Perspective and Relevance 🧑‍🏫

Second, by visiting historical landmarks, walking historical streets, or exploring museums, it helps me recognize the values, struggles, and limitations of the times in which people once lived and how relevant the past is to today’s world. These excursions (along with reading historical and historical fiction books) demonstrate that history is not just a collection of dates and events; rather, it’s an expansive, unlimited lens–filled with countless lessons–through which we can understand human behavior, social progress (or lack thereof), and cultural identity. 

Most of all, visiting natural and historic attractions repeatedly instructs that what we take for granted—whether a forest or a freedom—can disappear without an ever-expanding viewpoint.

Perspective Lost and Perspective Gained

Without an intentional commitment to varied life experiences, our perspective is restricted and narrowed. We may not see the value of managing natural resources. Likewise, we might not be empathetic to those with cultural differences, and we might have little-to-no context of history and its importance. Without going beyond our comfort zone, we may not see the vastness and inclusiveness of a God so great, we cannot possibly pretend to understand.

Intentional Curiosity: How to Keep Changing the Channel

Therefore, it is important to seek out new experiences that challenge our assumptions and broaden our horizons. There is indisputable value in engaging with people whose lives are different from our own.  By engaging and listening more, judging less, and asking more questions, we are less likely to jump to conclusions while also allowing our assumptions to be tested. Visiting a worship service different from our own current practice or simply visiting a new place–even if it’s just across town–can offer further insight to the world around us. Even reading books, fiction or nonfiction, can also offer unique and salient views of others.

Shift Your View, Shape the World 🌎

In closing, I challenge all of us to avoid getting stuck in life as if in a dream. Instead, let’s keep changing the channel. With each click out of our comfort zone, we gain a more nuanced understanding, broaden our perspective, and foster greater compassion for the world and humanity itself. In fact, by doing so, we might not only expand our viewpoint, but we may also alter the viewpoint of someone else we meet along the way.

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Effective Teaching and Coaching: Cultivating Student Achievement and Self-Improvement

Lessons from a Lifetime of Teaching series, Part 3

“The road to success is not a path you find, but a trail you blaze.”–Robert Breault

Author’s Note: This is the third installment of stories from decades of teaching students grades K-12.  It is my hope that by sharing these stories, I will cultivate lessons of compassion, empathy, and understanding

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Coaching requirement ⛹️‍♀️

My educational career began at a rural Kentucky high school. I was one of five special education teachers. One of the requirements for teaching at this high school was coaching a team in some capacity. Therefore, I assisted with the women’s cross country and track teams. 

At the time, I didn’t know a thing about either sport, but the head coach of the cross country team was another special education teacher, Coach Bailey (name changed for privacy). I didn’t realize it when I first met him, but in the end, Bailey became a role model for me as an educator and coach.  

As luck would have it, our classrooms were side by side, divided only by a rolling chalkboard.  In the two years I worked with “Coach,” as everyone called him, I rarely heard him raise his voice, and if he did, you can bet he had a darn good reason. Mostly, Coach was a naturally soft-spoken man who could both nurture and challenge students and athletes alike.

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Meet the Coach 🏃‍♀️

Coach, in my mind, was “older” with salt and pepper straight hair parted down the center and a thick mustache.  His face was browned and weathered from years spent in the sun that contrasted his light aquamarine eyes.  His typical attire was khakis with a school logo polo shirt with a matching ball cap–the cap was only for sporting events. When the temperatures turned cold, he added a school logo v-neck polyester pullover that was popular with coaching staff in the late 80s.

On our first meeting, Coach gave me a tour of the “department facilities,” such as they were.  Three of the five special education classrooms were underneath the visitor side of the gym bleachers, and the other two classrooms were found at the end of the gym, just beyond the baseline.  As we walked, he politely introduced me to the faculty and staff we encountered. 

Later, when Coach discovered I had been assigned to “assist” him with the cross country team, he did not roll his eyes, sigh, or mutter under his breath upon hearing I had no coaching experience, which I feared he would do.  Instead, he said he was glad to have me as part of the team because the young ladies needed a female leader.

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Ladies Cross Country Team 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

He then explained that the cross-country team had already begun practicing and invited me to join them that afternoon. It was then he asked if I ran.  Not wanting to disappoint him, I said that I did, which was sort of true. I had begun jogging during my last quarter of college just before graduating. I continued to jog two-three days per week around town after moving in with my grandparents that same summer, but I was by no means fast or knowledgeable about running beyond the basics. I knew I would have much to learn.

By 3:00 pm, I was on an access road along the Ohio River meeting the team. As Coach introduced me to the young ladies, they welcomed me with warm smiles.  As the weeks progressed, I would come to love these ladies, especially for the mature way they approached running, academics, and life in general. They were a driven group with gritty spirits, and they supported one another throughout the season even though they were competitors in races.

During this first practice, I learned that my job was to run, jog, or walk with whoever was at the back of the pack during the team’s long training runs while Coach rode his bike with the girls at the front of the group.  I was worried because I did not know if I had that level of fitness to keep up with even the so-called “slowest” runner.  

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The IMportance of Grit 💪

It turned out that there were two ladies who had joined the team with no running experience. Coach already knew they were not yet able to keep up with the other seasoned runners. Therefore, he asked that I remain steadfastly encouraging.  It was a role I relished. 

As the season progressed, one of the two newer runners was a “natural,” and was soon running with the rest of the team.  But Coach still insisted that I mostly focus on helping “Amy,” the runner who still struggled. He shared that while winning races was nice, developing stamina and perseverance were lifelong skills applicable to many settings, not just running.

Throughout the cross country season, Coach fostered a team attitude of, “You’re only in competition with your best time.”  His coaching style was gentle, but firm; supportive, but with high expectations.  However, those expectations were individualized to each runner, including Amy.  This philosophy was most evident after the regional meet.

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Individualized Success 🏅

We had two runners who finished in the top spots who qualified to move on to the sectional meet.  While Coach was happy with those two and praised their efforts, he also pointed out a few techniques they could use to improve their times for the next race.  

Additionally, since it was the last meet for the rest of the team, Coach took time to speak to each of the runners, showing them their running times from those hot days of August until the end of October.  All team members had improved significantly, and he made sure each runner knew how much they had achieved over the season. Coach conveyed heartfelt pride in each lady’s accomplishment, and he encouraged each one to run track in the spring.

Later, I watched Amy, who was always the last finisher for our team, walk over to her parents and chatter away about her improved times and how she couldn’t wait for spring track season.

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Nudges of Success 🙌

Coach taught his students in the same manner in which he coached.  His expectations were high, but his capacity for compassion and empathy was deep. Coach was attentive and intentional when talking with students and athletes alike. He could be firm when needed, but mostly, he taught and coached with a gentle, kind, and encouraging spirit.

How fortunate was I to have taught with Coach for two years. He modeled that effective teaching–and coaching–is about the importance of each student–how you make them feel and the impact of motivating students to improve and stretch to be better versions of themselves. Every student’s best is different, and it is the job of a teacher and/or coach to see this and purposefully nudge each student forward to the next level in order for students to blaze their own trail of success.

See the soul and ignore the story: Lessons from a lifetime of teaching, part 1

Ignore the story and see the soul.  And remember to love. You’ll never regret it.–Seane Corn

First years of teaching 👩‍🏫

Over the decades of teaching, I have accrued numerous experiences.  Several of these stand-out memories occurred during my earlier years of education.  Therefore, in honor of another school year’s conclusion, I will share some of these memories over the coming weeks, and the many lessons these interactions provided. 

My first teaching position was at Kentucky high school in the late 80s.  Newly graduated and exceptionally young, I was ready to change the world.  Like all first year career experiences, the theoretical training of a university was quite different from the reality I faced.  

I was one of five special education teachers.  Our classrooms were separated from the rest of the school.  We were part of the gymnasium facilities, and my classroom was one of three under the visitor’s side of the bleachers. 

Lines of Separation 📚

In order to get to my “classroom,”  I had to walk through two other “classrooms.”  One wall was slanted because it was the underside of the bleachers, and one wall was a rolling chalkboard separating my classroom from another.  One wall was painted concrete block, and the other side was a giant metal wall with a locked door that stored the ROTC weapons.  The desks were mismatched leftovers from a previous era, and classroom supplies were limited.

My first day of school was filled with nerves, and the isolation of my situation led me to feel even more anxious. However, there was little time to dwell on it as the students began arriving.

The Encounter 🗣️

The last student to arrive stood over six feet in height and brawny.  (I would later learn he worked as a hired-hand at various tobacco farms across the county.)  With one cursory glance, he sized me up, spit tobacco on the floor, and picked me by my shirt collar.

“You ain’t teachin’ me nothin.  I ain’t here to learn.  Only here cause it’s the law.”

His startling blue eyes conveyed his disdain for me as we locked eyes.  I knew this was a make or break moment, and I was determined to not break. So I said the most brilliant set of words.

“Put. Me. Down.”

It was an intense moment.  On the inside, I was filled with fear.  Fear I would lose my job after only one day.  Fear I was about to get hurt.  Fear I wasn’t strong enough to withstand the discipline this job would require.

Wordless Truce ☮️

Outwardly, my eyes never wavered from his.  I would not be intimidated by him.  Seconds seemed to stretch, although I am certain this was not a long moment.  However, it was long enough for me to take in the acne scars on his face as well as a few other scars that looked as if he had experienced his fair share of altercations.  His blonde curly hair was cut in a mullet.

I was acutely aware of the other students’ quiet stares taking in the situation as I once more repeated, “Put. Me. Down.”

Through some act of Divine Intervention, or perhaps the I-am-not-messing-around look in my eye, the student put me down.  I recall the way he smugly looked around at the other students as if to convey he had shown me.  

Peace Offering 🕊️

I could have taken him to the office or written his behavior up, but I chose not to.  Even though I was inexperienced, I knew that would immediately build a wall between not only him, but the rest of the students and me.  Instead, I believed I needed to find out more about him, and work on building a relationship with him and the other students. But, I wasn’t sure how, or even if, it could be done.

In the meantime, once things cooled down, I gave him cleaning supplies and asked him to spit out his tobacco in the trashcan and clean up the floor. Then, I walked away and busied myself with other students.  It took several minutes before he started, but he did clean it up.

Seasons of Change 🍁❄️

By late fall, the young man would occasionally engage in conversations with me, especially if I focused on his knowledge of raising tobacco and his work ethic.  He explained that he had worked alongside his dad, but at some point that stopped.

By winter, I had learned that his father was disabled, and no longer worked, but apparently still knew how to lift his arm to drink and hit. This partly explained the young man’s tough-guy persona. The student often stayed overnight with buddies around the county, or during certain parts of the growing season, he’d stay over at the farms on which he was working.

Misdiagnosis 📖

By mid-year, I felt certain that the student was misidentified.  He was no doubt dyslexic, but that had nothing to do with his IQ or his abilities.  There were so many life and reading skills that I wanted to work with him on, but time was running out.  The young man was determined to quit school once he turned 18, even though he was only a junior. 

One class in which this young man thrived was shop.  He could build and repair seemingly anything.  One of the special education teachers often talked about the young man’s talent and sometimes hired this student for work on the teacher’s farm.

By March, I had established a good working relationship with the student.  I teased him about his haircut and cowboys boots, and he made jokes about my height and “easy” job. Along with the other students, he learned to read and complete job applications, manage a budget, how to dress/act during a job interview, and even how to plan, shop, and prepare a week’s worth of simple meals. He was even reading short books with adapted text about famous athletes. 

Rumor Has It 😔

One day in April, the young man did not show up for school.  That wasn’t unusual.  Many of my students had irregular attendance.  After his third consecutive day of absence, I went to see an administrator to inquire about the student’s absence. He said he would check into it, but the gossip among students said he wasn’t coming back. The young man had had his birthday.

I have no idea what became of this student.  I would like to think the best, but I am not so sure.  Maybe he has a job, family, and even grandkids by now.  I can only hope, but I’ll most likely never know..

Lessons learned 📝

Nevertheless, I am grateful for this student.  He was the first to teach me to ignore the bluster of the student’s story, and see their soul–see the person they can be at their best self and recognize their potential.  I accepted him as he was, envisioned a better future for him, and tried to help him see it too.  

He also taught me that no matter how hard I work with students, they are still individuals who will determine their own fate.  That was, and still remains, a hard lesson to swallow.  So instead, I will focus on his best, albeit unintentional, gift:  See the soul, not the story.  You will never regret it; I haven’t yet.