Tag: minddfulness

Finding Inner Peace Amidst Chaos

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Better to keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.”–George Bernard Shaw

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Anxiety provoking 😬

Over the past weeks, I find I am feeling increasingly anxious as I read or listen to the news and/or various social media platforms. There are world events with real human and environmental consequences that worry me. Children are dying from injury and/or starvation in numerous parts of the world.  Plus, the current political climate in our own country is so vitriolic and divisive, it can tie my stomach in knots if I listen or read about it for too long. 

A few days ago, I was leaving work after an especially long day.  Ready to shake off the day, I unloaded my daily work wares into the back of the vehicle, and hopped in the driver seat ready to get home and shake the dust of the day off.  I started the vehicle, and the radio automatically came on.  

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We have a choice 🙉

By word of explanation, I had been listening to a book on the way to school, but because the bluetooth had not yet connected, the radio, set to one of the local public radio stations, automatically defaulted on. Since it was between 5:00 and 6:00 pm, the news was on.  And while NPR is fortunately not one of the news outlets that seems to shout out every headline, it was in the middle of a story that, as my ears focused, began to make me feel worried, and I could once more feel my insides churning. 

I continued listening for a bit more as I headed out of town, but found myself increasingly feeling more anxious.  Suddenly, it occurred to me. I had a choice.  I didn’t have to listen. So, I turned not only the news off, but the entire media system in my vehicle, rolled my window slightly down, and allowed the fresh air to filter in. 

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Connect to Your Breath 😮‍💨

Then, while I drove the rest of the way home, I took time to connect to my breath and to that still, inner voice. 

Inhale. Exhale. Release the jaw. 

Inhale. Longer exhale. Relax the shoulders down and release the grip in my gut. 

Long slow inhale, fill my lungs with fresh air flowing through the window. Pause. 

Then, a longer, relaxed exhale. Loosen the grip on the steering wheel and relax

 the lower body. 

I continued driving like this, using my breath as an aid to continue to relax other parts of my body that I had been unconsciously gripping tightly as the day progressed. I would not have noticed how tightly wound my body was if I had continued listening to the news.

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Connect to Gratitude 🙏

Once I felt a bit more relaxed, I tried to list, in my mind’s eye, five things for which I was grateful. Nothing could be too small, such as, feeling grateful because I had not forgotten my lunch on that day as I had forgotten it on the same day the previous week. But, even more so, I was also grateful for my health, my family, my home, and so on  . . . With each point of gratitude, I took time to pull that image up in my mind and genuinely reflect on at least one particular point of joy each one brought to my life.

Now, I will be honest, there were a few times when I lost my focus due to other drivers, deer crossing the road, or other random distractions.  If I found myself lost in thought, I brought my inner attention back to my breath first, and then back to points of gratitude.  

As I drove closer to home, I mindfully began to release concerns for which I could not control. I prayed for them, but ultimately, released my worries to God. I decided to trust and have faith that my concerns will ultimately work out for the best in ways I could not see or perhaps understand. It did not mean I was dismissing the issues that concern me–I was not.  Instead, I was releasing my stress over them because my anxiety would/will not affect their outcome.

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Shutting out the winds 🪟

Years ago, I read a story about a monk who had been writing a book.  This was the time period prior to computers, when one would alternate between handwriting manuscripts and typing the final drafts. This monk decided he needed to take a break from writing and went out for fresh air and a walk. 

He left open the windows of the small cottage in which he lived. And as he walked, the weather began to shift, and the wind began to pick up.  When he arrived home, an hour or so later, all of his neatly stacked papers for the book had been tossed about within the house. In order to tidy up the inside of his cottage and reorganize the manuscript, the monk had to close all of his windows to keep out the changing weather.

This story simply illustrates the point that sometimes, if we are consuming too much news, social media, family/friend drama, and so forth, our inner world suffers.  Like the monk’s cottage, the winds of life can toss our inner peace about.  Therefore, it is worth remembering we have a choice. We can choose to take time to shut out, turn off, or let go of the outside world/drama, so that we can turn inwardly, and focus on “tidying-up” the worry/concern/ anxiety inside of us.  

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It’s not always “breaking News,” so set boundaries 📰

We don’t have to read/listen/scroll through/watch the news and social media at regular intervals throughout the day.  We can take breaks from all of it. In fact, we are not of any benefit to ourselves, much less others, if we aren’t settled and at peace on the inside.  Thus, taking time to connect with your breath and that small, still inner voice can strengthen and renew you, filling you with a sense of calm/peace in order to help others and/or take on challenges.

While we don’t want to completely shut off the world and hide our light, we do have a choice as to where, when, and how much we participate.  Setting boundaries and/or taking breaks from what and how we choose to consume social media and news is within our power, and it doesn’t mean we are absconding from our civic or social responsibility to the world around us. 

Shine your Light 🕯️

If we hope to shine our light and engage in meaningful ways that can contribute to the betterment of our family, friends, community, and even world to the degree possible, we must also take time to close the proverbial outside windows and tend to our own inner world.  After all, even a candle must be protected from the wind in order to burn. 

See the soul and ignore the story: Lessons from a lifetime of teaching, part 1

Featured by stephsimply, posted in education

Ignore the story and see the soul.  And remember to love. You’ll never regret it.–Seane Corn

First years of teaching 👩‍🏫

Over the decades of teaching, I have accrued numerous experiences.  Several of these stand-out memories occurred during my earlier years of education.  Therefore, in honor of another school year’s conclusion, I will share some of these memories over the coming weeks, and the many lessons these interactions provided. 

My first teaching position was at Kentucky high school in the late 80s.  Newly graduated and exceptionally young, I was ready to change the world.  Like all first year career experiences, the theoretical training of a university was quite different from the reality I faced.  

I was one of five special education teachers.  Our classrooms were separated from the rest of the school.  We were part of the gymnasium facilities, and my classroom was one of three under the visitor’s side of the bleachers. 

Lines of Separation 📚

In order to get to my “classroom,”  I had to walk through two other “classrooms.”  One wall was slanted because it was the underside of the bleachers, and one wall was a rolling chalkboard separating my classroom from another.  One wall was painted concrete block, and the other side was a giant metal wall with a locked door that stored the ROTC weapons.  The desks were mismatched leftovers from a previous era, and classroom supplies were limited.

My first day of school was filled with nerves, and the isolation of my situation led me to feel even more anxious. However, there was little time to dwell on it as the students began arriving.

The Encounter 🗣️

The last student to arrive stood over six feet in height and brawny.  (I would later learn he worked as a hired-hand at various tobacco farms across the county.)  With one cursory glance, he sized me up, spit tobacco on the floor, and picked me by my shirt collar.

“You ain’t teachin’ me nothin.  I ain’t here to learn.  Only here cause it’s the law.”

His startling blue eyes conveyed his disdain for me as we locked eyes.  I knew this was a make or break moment, and I was determined to not break. So I said the most brilliant set of words.

“Put. Me. Down.”

It was an intense moment.  On the inside, I was filled with fear.  Fear I would lose my job after only one day.  Fear I was about to get hurt.  Fear I wasn’t strong enough to withstand the discipline this job would require.

Wordless Truce ☮️

Outwardly, my eyes never wavered from his.  I would not be intimidated by him.  Seconds seemed to stretch, although I am certain this was not a long moment.  However, it was long enough for me to take in the acne scars on his face as well as a few other scars that looked as if he had experienced his fair share of altercations.  His blonde curly hair was cut in a mullet.

I was acutely aware of the other students’ quiet stares taking in the situation as I once more repeated, “Put. Me. Down.”

Through some act of Divine Intervention, or perhaps the I-am-not-messing-around look in my eye, the student put me down.  I recall the way he smugly looked around at the other students as if to convey he had shown me.  

Peace Offering 🕊️

I could have taken him to the office or written his behavior up, but I chose not to.  Even though I was inexperienced, I knew that would immediately build a wall between not only him, but the rest of the students and me.  Instead, I believed I needed to find out more about him, and work on building a relationship with him and the other students. But, I wasn’t sure how, or even if, it could be done.

In the meantime, once things cooled down, I gave him cleaning supplies and asked him to spit out his tobacco in the trashcan and clean up the floor. Then, I walked away and busied myself with other students.  It took several minutes before he started, but he did clean it up.

Seasons of Change 🍁❄️

By late fall, the young man would occasionally engage in conversations with me, especially if I focused on his knowledge of raising tobacco and his work ethic.  He explained that he had worked alongside his dad, but at some point that stopped.

By winter, I had learned that his father was disabled, and no longer worked, but apparently still knew how to lift his arm to drink and hit. This partly explained the young man’s tough-guy persona. The student often stayed overnight with buddies around the county, or during certain parts of the growing season, he’d stay over at the farms on which he was working.

Misdiagnosis 📖

By mid-year, I felt certain that the student was misidentified.  He was no doubt dyslexic, but that had nothing to do with his IQ or his abilities.  There were so many life and reading skills that I wanted to work with him on, but time was running out.  The young man was determined to quit school once he turned 18, even though he was only a junior. 

One class in which this young man thrived was shop.  He could build and repair seemingly anything.  One of the special education teachers often talked about the young man’s talent and sometimes hired this student for work on the teacher’s farm.

By March, I had established a good working relationship with the student.  I teased him about his haircut and cowboys boots, and he made jokes about my height and “easy” job. Along with the other students, he learned to read and complete job applications, manage a budget, how to dress/act during a job interview, and even how to plan, shop, and prepare a week’s worth of simple meals. He was even reading short books with adapted text about famous athletes. 

Rumor Has It 😔

One day in April, the young man did not show up for school.  That wasn’t unusual.  Many of my students had irregular attendance.  After his third consecutive day of absence, I went to see an administrator to inquire about the student’s absence. He said he would check into it, but the gossip among students said he wasn’t coming back. The young man had had his birthday.

I have no idea what became of this student.  I would like to think the best, but I am not so sure.  Maybe he has a job, family, and even grandkids by now.  I can only hope, but I’ll most likely never know..

Lessons learned 📝

Nevertheless, I am grateful for this student.  He was the first to teach me to ignore the bluster of the student’s story, and see their soul–see the person they can be at their best self and recognize their potential.  I accepted him as he was, envisioned a better future for him, and tried to help him see it too.  

He also taught me that no matter how hard I work with students, they are still individuals who will determine their own fate.  That was, and still remains, a hard lesson to swallow.  So instead, I will focus on his best, albeit unintentional, gift:  See the soul, not the story.  You will never regret it; I haven’t yet.