Outer Banks – Steph Simply

“The greater the love, the greater the tragedy when it’s over.”–Nicolas Sparks from the novel Nights in Rodanthe

Rodanthe, NC 🏖️

If you love the beach, especially the Outer Banks’ Hatteras Island, then you may experience something akin to heartbreak as more and more erosion occurs along its shores, especially to the small unincorporated community, Rodanthe, NC. My daughter, Madelyn, and I visited Rodanthe, located on Hatteras Island, this past summer, and we certainly felt that way as we walked along its shores and witnessed the devastation first hand. Walking along the Rodanthe beach, we noticed the remains of several beach homes and those that had been moved and/or jacked up on tall pilings. Only a month after our visit, another home was washed out to the ocean with Hurricane Debby.

Beach Memories 🌊

Years ago, when I was a teenager, my family financially reached a place in which our budget allowed us to schedule an annual week-long vacation in the Outer Banks of NC. These trips were often book-ended with educational/informational side trips. But of course, as a kid, my interest, as well as my younger three siblings’ interest, was more focused on the beach.

While most of our peers’ families spent time at Myrtle Beach, we were happy at the OBX, spending time building sandcastles, collecting sea shells, or writing our names and words of “wisdom” in the sand. We learned to jump waves and stay atop boogie boards. And, if the surf was too rough, or we needed a break, we’d bask in the sun and read books. At some point during the day, we’d walk back to our rental, usually “fourth row back,” and grab lunch or a snack. Then, we’d head right back down to the beach until it was time for dinner.

Beach Vibes 🌊

Even then, once dinner and showers were completed, my three siblings and I would head right back down to the beach in the evening to goof off with other kids who happened to be around or just hang out with one another. We usually didn’t swim much in the evening, but we still found things to do that entertained us. Of course, this was well before the age of the internet, much less cell phones, so we were easily amused by chasing ghost crabs, seeing who could do the best cart wheel, or loudly singing lyrics to a popular song into surf, and making fun of one another if one of us messed up or forgot a word.

During our first visit, OBX was not what it is now. It was not as populated, and it was definitely not commercialized. In fact, there were few stores and restaurants, especially where we stayed–just beyond Duck, NC–and there were virtually no grocery stores other than a couple of local gas/convenience type stores. Therefore, as I best recall, we packed coolers and boxes with a fairly large quantity of groceries to take with us from home. There were a few beachy/trinket shops and bookstores nearby, but most souvenir shops were a considerable drive away. But, oh boy did that change over the following decade. . .

Traditions change ⏱️

As the years progressed, and I married my husband, John, we continued to visit the OBX from time to time, but gradually the yearly tradition faded. It was not because we were no longer enamored with the OBX; rather, there were so many other locations across the country and Canada that we had not yet explored. Nonetheless, from time to time, we would get the urge, and once more spend a week or so in various places along the OBX, including as far north as Carova Beach and as far south as Avon–even visiting Ocracoke a time or two.

Such was the case this past summer. It had been years since our last OBX visit, and Maddie and I had grown nostalgic with a desire to visit its shores once more. There was a week in July when John was heading north once more fishing, so Maddie and I decided that would be an ideal time for a mother-daughter escapade. We settled for a condo in Rodanthe, an OBX locale we had only driven through on previous stays.

Mother-Daughter time 🐚

Before heading to Rodanthe, we decided to take one night to stay in Nags Head, experience a couple restaurants and do some shopping. However, after that first night, we drove on to Rondanthe and did not leave the island. We absolutely loved the community of Rodanthe and further enjoyed the sights and sounds of its beaches and surrounding nearby Hatteras communities.

Rodanthe, Waves, and Salvo are charming beach communities connected like colorful beads on a chain. Each one has its own special appeal, but seemed to work best as a collective. There is a well-maintained sidewalk on the sound side of North Carolina Highway 12 that spans the length of the three communities, and the communities often have shared events for the public to enjoy.

Island Time ☀️

While the closest national chain grocery store is a Food Lion, located in Avon–about a 22 or so minute drive–there are several smaller grocery and convenience stores that are well-stocked. There were also several restaurants and shops nearby that Maddie and I enjoyed visiting. One of our favorites was Good Winds restaurant located on the Pamlico Sound–a perfect spot for watching the sunset. That said, we mostly found our favorite activities centered around the ocean–walking, swimming, and sitting by its side experiencing the full sensory spectrum of being on the shore. Personally, I have yet to lose my sense of awe and wonder at the sight of crashing waves on a shoreline.

Eroded shores 🌊

Ironically, it is those very crashing waves that have taken seven homes from Rodanthe in the past four years! This most eastern point of NC is sadly experiencing 15 feet of erosion per year, according to a recent post (August 2024) by WRAL News. According to this source, Rodanthe doesn’t have a large enough tax base to pay for the beach renourishment required to maintain such a large quantity of erosion. However, given the island itself is about a quarter of a mile wide, I can’t help but wonder about Rodanthe’s future and feel heartbroken at the prospect of so much loss at such a beautiful, serene location.

All I can say is that I absolutely hope to return in the coming years. While I do love exploring new sights, there is something comforting about spending time at the OBX. For me, it’s like putting on a comfy pair of sweatpants and t-shirt at the end of a long day, relaxing into the soft familiarity of being able to relax because I am home. OBX was my first beach love, and while I know there are beaches, there are none that will quite replace the embrace I feel from those NC 12 shoreline winds.

“Stuck between a rock and a hard place . . . You’d better stop. Put on a kind face.”–Mick Jagger and Keith Richards

Overcoming Rocky circumstances 🌺

I was walking quickly back to my vehicle with a couple of coffees in hand. Wait. What did I just see? Walking back a few feet, I looked at the spot in between the concrete wall and the sidewalk that abutted to it. Oh my heavens! It was a flower!

How it was possible for a flower to grow in such a tight crevice was mind-boggling. The blossoming plant was the very definition of being “stuck between a rock and a hard place.”

How many life situations feel like that–thrusting us between rocky and hard circumstances?

Most of us can identify times in which we were (or are) in situations in which there was no good solution or easy way out. Like a praying mantis trapped in the web of a spider, our hands may be lifted in prayer, but the various strands of a difficult situation continue to remain sticky and taut. We can see life going on all around us, and yet, we remain stuck between an “unknown outcome” and “continued pain.”

Confronting Difficulties 🪜

My daughter and I visited the Bodie (pronounced “body”) Lighthouse located on the Cape Hatteras National Seashore on a warm July afternoon. Once inside the lighthouse at the scheduled time, we were facing over 200 spiraling steps, equal to climbing 10 stories. It contained no air conditioning; however, there were nine landings on which we could rest and catch our breath.

While climbing those steps, visitors must coordinate with other climbers as only one person at a time is allowed on a section of steps. Therefore, when arriving at a landing, I had to yell “clear” to my daughter below, so she knew she could begin climbing the next section of steps. Then, I had to listen and look above to the next section of steps to ensure there was no one coming down the steps from the top before I embarked to the next level.

One step at a time 🚶🏽‍♀️

On and on we climbed. Our thighs were burning, and none of the windows on the lighthouse’s walls were open. Although there were small fans on each landing, they did little to prevent the sweat that accumulated on our brows and backs. Each time I reached a landing, I would marvel at the number of steps still above me, but I also felt a sense of amazement as I looked back down at the number of steps I had already climbed before shouting, “Clear!”

When we finally reached the top landing and were able to step outside onto the platform, the air felt exquisitely cool. The breeze lifted and lightened our spirits, but it was the expansive view that took our breath away.

A greater perspective 🌅

Spread out before us was 360 degrees of the sweeping sights of Bodie Island, Pamlico Sound, and the Atlantic Ocean. Astonished by the surrounding marshlands, pine trees, distant bridges, the various bodies of water, and a map-like view of the vicinity, we appraised how different the Hatteras Seashore looked from a bird’s eye view. In fact, we realized that we only saw a fragment of what was all around us whenever we drove along NC Route 12 to and from the lighthouse.

We would have loved to have stayed longer, but our time was limited by default of the National Park visitor schedule. Of course, the only way to exit was to climb down those 200+ steps, one level at a time.

The Only way Through is Through ⬇️

Just as the way up took time, especially coordinating with others, so did the climb down. However, this time, it felt different. We now possessed the confidence of knowing that we had conquered the climb and made it to the top. We stepped down the steps with a certain satisfaction one feels from having successfully “blossomed,” as that flower did between the cracks, with the completion of a difficult task.

Many of life’s struggles and challenges are like that lighthouse climb.

Sometimes we face situations in life that are so difficult, we feel stuck. If we don’t tie up our laces and start climbing, we’ll remain stuck, unable to move the boulder of a problem. However, if we start climbing, it’s going to hurt, and we will sweat from the effort–at least proverbially speaking.

Start climbing anyway

Similarly to those nine landings, we may climb over one rock, only to realize there are more to maneuver around. There are more sides, more stony surfaces relating to the struggle than we initially think. Thus, there is more climbing to do, more problems to solve.

*_{Looking through the lighthouse window, I could see the progress we were making.}*

Appreciate how far you have come

No matter how much more there is to go when dealing with life’s challenges/changes, it is worthwhile to notice how far you have come.

Taking a moment to pause and celebrate the challenges that you were able to “clear” is important. It not only serves as an opportunity for gratitude for what has been overcome, but also provides time to symbolically catch your breath before attempting to conquer the next step of the challenge. Certainly, the “unknown” will remain in wait; however, by pausing and not rushing towards a quick solution, we are better able to gather enough strength for tackling the next part of the challenge.

*_{Making the climb together made a difference.}*

Seek Support

When working through a life challenge, it is often beneficial to enlist the help of a friend or loved one.

Climbing up the Bodie Lighthouse steps, not only did I have my daughter with me, but there was a group who had reached the top before us. As they descended, they offered words of hope.

“The view is gorgeous from the top!”

“You’re almost there!”

“It is so worth the sweat!”

Seeds of encouragement, whether spoken or written, along with the presence of another dear soul helping us along the way, can make all the difference when we are striving from level to the next as we navigate the challenge/change.

*_{Invoking your Higher Power can light the way through rocky and rough patches.}*

Have Faith

Invoking the help of our Higher Power can offer further strength and resolve.

With each step taken, and each landing reached, hope increases. When that sense of hope is nourished with support, encouragement, and faith, it fortifies us–feeling akin to love–a love that can see us through the difficult time.

Eventually, each of life’s challenges and changes reach their pinnacle, allowing for a reprieve to bask in the breezes of accomplishment and the joy of the new lifeview.

Of course, like those summer blossoms, we can’t remain on top forever. Eventually, we all must descend from the height of accomplishment. However, we can make that descent with a greater sense of resiliency, strength, and a deepened faith that we can not only move up, over, and around life’s rocks and hard places, but we can also help others do the same.