“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”—Dalai Lama
The shape of kindness ❤️
This past spring I viewed a documentary on various world religions, and one line from this film really stood out. “Good thoughts, good words, and good deeds” is considered an essential teaching and practice of Zoroastrian faith. As I understand it, doing good deeds is not reward focused, but it’s more about thinking the best of others as well as doing good acts for its own sake. That maxim has remained with me all these months later.
At its core is kindness–kindness to others, and even, kindness to self. Kindness is one of those notions that gets tossed around in cutesy social media quotes and images, such as, “Spreading kindness like confetti!” or “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” While I love the intent around these images, it is easy to grow immune to their effects or even cynical.
Still, at the end of the day, kindness truly does matter. How many of us have been impacted by a rude, disrespectful, or all around unkind encounter? I know I have. I walk or drive away feeling like Pig-Pen, a proverbial cloud of yuckiness clinging to me. Like lint on black pants, it seems that one act of unpleasantness appears to attract more of it.
Moods are contagious 🤧
For example, the day may begin with a car cutting you off on your drive into work. Preparing to walk into work, the lid to your new, supposedly, leak-proof coffee cup isn’t quite tight enough, and you end up entering your workplace with brown stains down that new light-colored shirt that, of course, you were wearing.
After stopping by the restroom to try to blot off the stain as best you can, you open your computer only to find an email from that “thinks-they-are-so-special” client that sends you into another negative spiral. By the time lunchtime rolls around, and you realize you forgot your packed lunch at home that you actually took time to pack the night before, that cloud of negativity has burst open, and you feel soaked through with negative thoughts.
Here to help 🤝
Kindness, however, often works the same way. What if the drive into work was eventless and traffic was light. While the coffee still spills, a co-worker offers their Tide-pen to help make the stain less noticeable. When you open your inbox to email, you discover an email that includes words of appreciation from a hard-won client for a job well-done.
When you discover that you left your packed lunch at home, another coworker offers to pick you up something while they are out on an errand, which gives you a bit of time to get caught up on a few other tasks you’ve been meaning to do. Meanwhile, you make a mental note to think of something nice you can do in return for that coworker later in the week.
The same day, served up two ways. Kindness can make a difference like that. And the best part is that kindness does not require any special talent, money, or resources; we can cultivate it through our “thoughts, words, and deeds” as those of the Zoroastrian faith are encouraged to do.
Kind words and actions cost nothing but reap dividends 🤩
Offering to help others, saying or writing kind words, or simply being considerate are all ways of intentionally sharing kindness. Those simple acts can benefit others in ways that we may never be directly witnessed, but do not, nonetheless, detract from the worth of the actions. In fact, one small act of deliberate kindness, like its negative counterpart, can initiate a wave of positive events as one act leads to another and on to another.
Even if we offer a kind word or deed to others without expecting anything in return, those acts still benefit us. According to the Mayo Clinic, demonstrating kindness to others positively contributes to our sense of self-esteem, empathy, compassion, and boosts our mood. In the same 2023 article, the Mayo Clinic adds that acts of kindness lowers one’s blood pressure and levels of cortisol, a hormone directly related to stress. Kindness can boost your mood and increase feelings of connectedness, thereby decreasing feelings of loneliness.
Benefits of Kindness 🧠
Kindness is also good for the mind. When you do a thoughtful act, even as simple as sharing a pack of gum, offer words of encouragement, or even speak a simple compliment, you create physiological changes in your brain. With each kind act, dopamine and serotonin are released, creating feelings of well-being. Meanwhile, the pleasure and reward centers of our brains are lit up. Additionally, kind acts and words can flood our bodies with endorphins, those “feel good” chemicals that boost mood and reduce sensations of pain and/or stress.
Kindness doesn’t have to just be focused on others; kind thoughts towards oneself is also as important and just as worthy of an endeavor. Practicing kind self-talk that is positive and encouraging of self is worth-while, and much more beneficial than the negative loops that too easily circulate in our heads. In addition to the practice of affirming and loving self-talk, fostering a sense of gratitude goes a long way to feeling kindness towards self and others.
So many ways to offer Kindness 📝
Of course, there are the obvious kind actions such as volunteering and working/helping out with causes in which you believe. However, there are other less overt, more subtle ways of generating kindness that are just as beneficial, if not more so! Consider the following actions:
- Call that friend or acquaintance that you haven’t seen in weeks
- Mail an old-fashioned postcard or letter to someone telling them how much they mean to you or you appreciate them
- Write a handwritten thank you note the next time someone does something nice for you
- Get flowers, candy, a cup of coffee, or a some other little treat for someone for no reason
- Check in or call someone who is either sick or you know is going through a rough patch
- Offer to take a shut-in to church, to the grocery store, or even to lunch
- Buy a cake mix or cookie dough. Then, bake and share a treat with a neighbor or friend for no particular reason
- Keep a gratitude journal to continue to foster good thoughts
everyone’s superpower 🦸♀️
The list could go on, but the point is, acts of kindness and generosity to others (and self) can be as big or small as you want. “Good thoughts, good words, and good deeds” put into actions, no matter the size, will always benefit others in some way.
In the end, kindness is a big deal. In fact, it’s a kinda superpower we all have the ability to possess. It merely takes a tad bit of thought and time.
Steph Simply 