When a Stranger Helped Me Pick Up the Pieces

Sometimes the most meaningful acts of kindness come from strangers we may never see again.

❄️ The “Perfect Storm” at the Grocery Store

It was another cold, snowy morning with another round of snow on its way. School had been cancelled for the day, and I thought I would be “smart” by driving to the grocery store early. Surely no one else would do that ahead of the snow. They would have done their shopping last night, right?

Pulling into the parking lot, snow piles—peppered with dirt and debris—blocked several parking spots. Light snow sprinkled down from an angry sky darkened by winter’s wrath once again. It was a Friday, the first of the month, so I should have known that despite the early hour, few parking spots were available. Then it hit me: big-game weekend.

🛒 The Cart with the Stubborn Wheel

Once parked, it was a “perfect storm” inside the store. 80s pop music attempted to brighten the mood. Harsh fluorescent lighting contrasted the outside winter skies.  Paper ads of this week’s specials fluttered in the air as the double doors whooshed open and closed repeatedly. The only cart available was a small cart, which was perfect for my needs. The only problem? It had a front wheel that did not roll properly. 

I quickly attempted to push it. After all, I only needed a few items, but that stubborn wheel kept sticking, making corners especially difficult to turn. Nonetheless, I found a way to, well, get it rolling, and attempted to weave in and out through the throngs of dilly-dallying people and displays. 

I reminded myself of the mission since I had already “researched” prices online: Stick to the list organized by aisle numbers. Get in and get out quickly. Online work awaited me at home, and snowfall had already started. I told myself to slow down, but I kept my pace up anyway.

📦 When Everything Came Crashing Down

And, of course, it happened. The wheel stuck right as I tried to turn a corner. It was like a bad slow-mo scene from an old black-and-white B-movie. I tried to stop it, then catch it, but it wasn’t enough. An entire cardboard display–stockpiling the greatest hits of pharmacy specials—began to crumble to the floor.

 I stumbled, fumbled, and bumbled with individual boxes of pain relievers, antacids, toothpaste, vitamins, and cold/flu care items. Embarrassment colored my cheeks and a sensation of shame sent waves of heat through my body as my heart began to race. I was a child again, and it was “all my fault.” “You should have known better, Steph” echoed in my mind. I tried to work quickly, but my hands were as clumsy and klutzy as that misbehaving wheel. 

🤝 The Kindness of a Stranger

Then, I sensed a presence. I gazed up from a squat position on the floor and there stood a young woman with large expressive eyes. Her kindness was palpable as she stooped down beside me. Her long fingers worked with calm, coordinated dexterity, and she began to help me. I began to protest that it was “my mess,” not her responsibility. Her hands continued to work with precision, and she met my gaze, declaring that it was only cardboard–“no big deal.” 

The display was like putting together a 3-D jigsaw puzzle. Nonetheless, my heart slowed with the gentleness of her response. When we were finished, we each had a few items left over in our hands with no more room on the cardboard shelves. The unknown woman flipped her long chestnut hair over her shoulder and gave an unexpected child-like giggle. In a conspiratorial voice, she directed us to “put the rest of the items here.” It was on a shelf of an endcap of laundry detergent, beads, and dryer sheets.

She winked. “It makes about as much sense as this random display.” 

I thanked her profusely, but she waved me off with an it-was-nothing expression.

❄️ A Snowflake Memory

When my daughter was quite young, I recall playing with her, gleeful and reveling in the snow. “Catching” snowflakes on her mitten was a favorite activity. Time fell away as delicate flakes alighted onto our upturned mittens. There was a silent wonder that muted even the beating of our hearts as we gazed at each individual snowflake. “Look, Mommy, look!” she would say as slowly each snowflake melted into the fabric of our mittens, leaving only a whisper of a mark.

The woman escaped as quickly as she appeared. For a fleeting moment I was back in the snowy front yard with my daughter, silence filled my ears as the warmth of her generosity lingered within me. Then, just as quickly the milieu of the store came back into focus: the buzzing lights, calls for help up front, the throngs of people with party trays, beer, and bread, and another 80s be-bop song played in the background. 

With a warmed and lightened spirit, I trooped off to gather the few items remaining on my list. Of course, my cart still had the broken wheel, and it was still hard to maneuver it through crowded aisles and endcaps. Still, I was able to get the rest of my items without incident. 

How many of us navigate life’s challenges with little vulnerabilities wobbling within us like that shopping cart wheel?  Helping hands are seldom asked for, but often needed in a hurried and harried world.

🌊 The Ripple Effect of Kindness

A week or so later, when I visited the same store, I noticed a woman struggling to reach an item from her motorized shopping cart. One of her legs was in a boot—her current wobbly wheel. As I offered to help her, I was reminded of the helping hand that lifted me up during one of life’s storms and sensed the rippling waves of one person’s ordinary kindness.

Kindness, generosity, and brief moments of courage—these are the connections that steady us when life turns snowy and cold and hands us a cart with a wobbly wheel. 

The Power of Kindness: Good Thoughts, Good Words, and Good Deeds

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”Dalai Lama

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The shape of kindness ❤️

This past spring I viewed a documentary on various world religions, and one line  from this film really stood out. “Good thoughts, good words, and good deeds” is considered an essential teaching and practice of Zoroastrian faith. As I understand it, doing good deeds is not reward focused, but it’s more about thinking the best of others as well as doing good acts for its own sake. That maxim has remained with me all these months later.

At its core is kindness–kindness to others, and even, kindness to self. Kindness is one of those notions that gets tossed around in cutesy social media quotes and images, such as, “Spreading kindness like confetti!” or “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”  While I love the intent around these images, it is easy to grow immune to their effects or even cynical.

Still, at the end of the day, kindness truly does matter. How many of us have been impacted by a rude, disrespectful, or all around unkind encounter?  I know I have. I walk or drive away feeling like Pig-Pen, a proverbial cloud of yuckiness clinging to me. Like lint on black pants, it seems that one act of unpleasantness appears to attract more of it. 

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Moods are contagious 🤧

For example, the day may begin with a car cutting you off on your drive into work. Preparing to walk into work, the lid to your new, supposedly, leak-proof coffee cup isn’t quite tight enough, and you end up entering your workplace with brown stains down that new light-colored shirt that, of course, you were wearing. 

After stopping by the restroom to try to blot off the stain as best you can, you open your computer only to find an email from that “thinks-they-are-so-special” client that sends you into another negative spiral. By the time lunchtime rolls around, and you realize you forgot your packed lunch at home that you actually took time to pack the night before, that cloud of negativity has burst open, and you feel soaked through with negative thoughts.

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Here to help 🤝

Kindness, however, often works the same way. What if the drive into work was eventless and traffic was light.  While the coffee still spills, a co-worker offers their Tide-pen to help make the stain less noticeable. When you open your inbox to email, you discover an email that includes words of appreciation from a hard-won client for a job well-done. 

When you discover that you left your packed lunch at home, another coworker offers to pick you up something while they are out on an errand, which gives you a bit of time to get caught up on a few other tasks you’ve been meaning to do. Meanwhile, you make a mental note to think of something nice you can do in return for that coworker later in the week. 

The same day, served up two ways.  Kindness can make a difference like that.  And the best part is that kindness does not require any special talent, money, or resources; we can cultivate it through our “thoughts, words, and deeds” as those of the Zoroastrian faith are encouraged to do.

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Kind words and actions cost nothing but reap dividends 🤩

Offering to help others, saying or writing kind words, or simply being considerate are all ways of intentionally sharing kindness. Those simple acts can benefit others in ways that we may never be directly witnessed, but do not, nonetheless, detract from the worth of the actions. In fact, one small act of deliberate kindness, like its negative counterpart, can initiate a wave of positive events as one act leads to another and on to another.

Even if we offer a kind word or deed to others without expecting anything in return, those acts still benefit us. According to the Mayo Clinic, demonstrating kindness to others positively contributes to our sense of self-esteem, empathy, compassion, and boosts our mood. In the same 2023 article, the Mayo Clinic adds that acts of kindness lowers one’s blood pressure and levels of cortisol, a hormone directly related to stress.  Kindness can boost your mood and increase feelings of connectedness, thereby decreasing feelings of loneliness.  

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Benefits of Kindness 🧠

Kindness is also good for the mind.  When you do a thoughtful act, even as simple as sharing a pack of gum, offer words of encouragement, or even speak a simple compliment, you create physiological changes in your brain. With each kind act, dopamine and serotonin are released, creating feelings of well-being.  Meanwhile, the pleasure and reward centers of our brains are lit up. Additionally, kind acts and words can flood our bodies with endorphins, those “feel good” chemicals that boost mood and reduce sensations of pain and/or stress.

Kindness doesn’t have to just be focused on others; kind thoughts towards oneself is also as important and just as worthy of an endeavor.  Practicing kind self-talk that is positive and encouraging of self is worth-while, and much more beneficial than the negative loops that too easily circulate in our heads.  In addition to the practice of affirming and loving self-talk, fostering a sense of gratitude goes a long way to feeling kindness towards self and others. 

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So many ways to offer Kindness 📝

Of course, there are the obvious kind actions such as volunteering and working/helping out with causes in which you believe.  However, there are other less overt, more subtle ways of generating kindness that are just as beneficial, if not more so!  Consider the following actions:

  • Call that friend or acquaintance that you haven’t seen in weeks 
  • Mail an old-fashioned postcard or letter to someone telling them how much they mean to you or you appreciate them
  • Write a handwritten thank you note the next time someone does something nice for you
  • Get flowers, candy, a cup of coffee, or a some other little treat for someone for no reason
  • Check in or call someone who is either sick or you know is going through a rough patch
  • Offer to take a shut-in to church, to the grocery store, or even to lunch
  • Buy a cake mix or cookie dough. Then, bake and share a treat with a neighbor or friend for no particular reason
  • Keep a gratitude journal to continue to foster good thoughts
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everyone’s superpower 🦸‍♀️

The list could go on, but the point is, acts of kindness and generosity to others (and self) can be as big or small as you want.  “Good thoughts, good words, and good deeds”  put into actions, no matter the size, will always benefit others in some way.  

In the end, kindness is a big deal.  In fact, it’s a kinda superpower we all have the ability to possess. It merely takes a tad bit of thought and time.