Finding Peace Amid Life’s Storms

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”–Steve Maraboli

WArning: Shifting Life weather ⛈️

My husband, John, and his sister, Jacki, have birthdays during the last days of February. This year, we celebrated both birthdays on the day in between their two respective birth dates. As John and I drove towards Jacki’s house, we revelled in the warm-ish, slanted sunlight of late February. However, a stiff, cold breeze hinted of a dramatic weather shift.

Soon enough, we observed layers of dark gray and black clouds encroaching from the northwest as if ready to aggressively lash out in a fit of rage.

By the time we arrived at Jacki’s house, the wind gathered more intensity. Layers of clouds silently slinked closer, blanketing the sunlight. Warning rain drops, heavy with intention, randomly fell at intermittent intervals. 

Our daughter met us in the parking lot of a restaurant as a menacing mass of mayhem loomed above us. The winds forcibly fought against our efforts to walk into the establishment. The restaurant door resisted opening against the wind and then likewise fought to be closed. Seconds after John struggled to shut the door, a hostile bolt of lightning loudly landed nearby, shaking the building.

After being seated, torrents of truculent rain burst forth from swirling chaotic clouds soaking the next few guests who entered through the front doors. 

Change The focus 🎁

Soon enough, however, we diverted our attention away from the storm, talking and swapping stories. John and Jacki opened gifts, and we spent the next hour and a half engrossed in one another’s company with little focus on the discord of the storm unfolding around us. The storm was there, lashing and railing against the walls and windows, but it no longer disturbed our peace of mind as we focused on the unfolding celebration.

Yet, how many times in life do we allow surrounding storms and worries to shake and distract us from the moment at hand?

Rough Waters Ahead 🌊

Many years ago, our family visited the shores of the Outer Banks in North Carolina when our daughter was quite young. It was a last minute trip during the first week of August, just before the start of school. The three of us made daily trips to the shoreline with books, umbrella, cooler, and boogie boards in tow. 

Unfortunately, the temperatures were incredibly hot, even in the early morning. Therefore, we spent most of our time in the cool water on our boogie boards. We would wade out until our daughter was knee deep, then plop ourselves, belly down, on our boards. Next, we would paddle and kick to where the waves were breaking. When we saw what we thought was a “good wave,” we’d point our boogie boards back to the beach, start paddling and kicking, catch the wave, and ride it in towards the shore.

Each time we rode the wave in, we were taken a little further up the shoreline from where we had set up “camp” due to the strong undertow. Eventually, we would be taken so far north that we could no longer see our belongings, and we would lumber out of the water, walking back to our starting point. This would occur repeatedly as we had no control of the undertow.

Possible strong Undertow 😵‍💫

The other thing that would happen is that one, or all, of us would get flipped off our boards by a rogue wave. The rough waters hurled us to the sandy, shell-covered bottom, and we would come up sputtering and coughing, completely disheveled–banged up and sand abraded. This often forced us to take a break in order to catch our breath. Nevertheless, it wouldn’t be long until we were right back out there again, trying to catch a wave in the wild surf, despite the fact we knew we would ultimately get dumped again.  

Yet, despite the extreme August heat, strong undertow, and often rough surf, we focused more on our laughter and the joy of being together, creating memories that still make my heart smile.

You can choose your Response 🤔

Like the birthday storm and those long ago OBX waves, life has times when it rages with rough rains of hurt, blows wild winds of change, drifts us along an undertow of misleading information, or chucks us under waves to the bottom of mental anguish. If we choose to focus on the suffering, we will inevitably suffer more.  

We can, however, choose to direct our attention away from the storm and other difficulties. It doesn’t mean we’re not aware of the situation–or completely ignore it. Instead, we can focus on what we can control. The challenge will still be there, but we can choose to live with it, and in the meantime, redirect our attention like we would a toddler in a seaside gift shop drawn to the glass figurines. 

In the end, the chaos of life storms are often not controllable, but our responses and/or level of reactivity can be. Our minds, with practice, can be trained to ride those waves. By focusing on what we can do, such as stepping out of the fray, walking along the shores of self-care, choosing an alternate, renewing activity, and/or turning inward for reflection/prayer, we can redirect our mind in a more positive/productive manner until either when the stormy wave passes, or we are ready to begin kicking and paddling in the waters of life once more.