A Tribute to Mike Mullens aka “Papaw Mike”

           “Our lives are not measured in years, but are measured in the lives of people we touch around us.”—Suzanne Collins

           “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”—2 Timothy 4:7-8 as read by Jake Helton upon the passing of his Papaw, Mike Mullins

           Author’s Notes:  This is not a story about me, yet to tell it right, I must include bits of my life only to illustrate the positive impact one person can have upon others.  The sole purpose of this narrative to honor and uplift the memory of a beloved man.

           As John, my husband, and I approached the funeral home, we could not help but notice that it was located directly beside Heiner’s, where our dear friend, Mike Mullins, had spent 27 years of his adult life working.  I smiled at the thought of the family gatherings in which we attended with Mike’s family where Heiner’s buns, rolls, and/or bread were served. I remember him once telling me, with a note of certainty and sternness in his eyes, “Steph, you gotta support local businesses.  It’s real men’s lives and families at stake.”

 

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           It was not the first time Mike spoke forcefully to me.  Neither would it be the last, nor would I be the only one to be on the receiving end of his firmly rooted convictions.  He said what he meant, he lived by what he said, and by golly, anyone for whom he cared should also live by those same principles.  Mike lived his life wholeheartedly—passionate beliefs, passionate appreciation for those “doing the right thing,” and a passionate distaste for those doing the opposite. Most of all, Mike possessed a deeply abiding love for his family as well as others for whom he cared.  

 

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           Given such strident persuasions, I more than once witnessed Mike’s face redden and contort with outrage whenever he witnessed, thought, or spoke of another person who had crossed his line of right and wrong.  Fortunately, I was never, per se, at the receiving end, but I was always certain where Mike stood. Therefore, when his son, Todd, stated at his funeral, “Dad had a way of getting your attention” in order to let the listener know his belief, well, I certainly believed it!  However, I always knew Mike loved my husband, our daughter Maddie—who called him, “Papaw Mike,” and me.

 

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           I came to know Mike, and his sweet wife Betty, through a gradual series of life successions.  First, I began working with his daughter, Kelli Helton, nearly 30 years ago at South Point Elementary when she was still Kelli Mullens.  It was there that our friendship and trust of one another began to evolve. A few years later, when Kelli and I were teaching across the hall from one another at Burlington Elementary, Maddie went to preschool with her son, Jake.  Soon enough, she became fast friends with Jake and began to feel Josh was the younger brother she never had. That same year, Maddie began to play soccer with both Jake and his cousin, Noah, Todd’s son. Therefore, every fall and spring was spent with the Helton/Mullens clan at the local YMCA soccer field.  In fact, countless weekends throughout Maddie’s elementary and middle school years were spent with Kelli and her family.

 

 

 

           Additionally, I drew even closer to Mike and Betty because of the fact I had the privilege of teaching both of Kelli’s sons during the 15 years I taught Kindergarten.  It was during the school year in which I taught Jake, that I was especially on the receiving end of Mike’s strength and love. Early in that school year, one of Jake’s classmates lost his life.  While I worked hard at school to help the kids through their grief, I secretly spiraled into the worst depression I have ever experienced. My faith was shook to its core, but I dared not outwardly reveal it.  

 

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           Throughout that school year, during the kid’s soccer games, Mike would grab me with a force of strength, and wrap me up in his arms as if I was his own daughter.  Then, he would tell me he loved me and was praying for me. It was as if he knew my tightly hidden secret. He would whisper in my ear, so no one else heard, “Steph, don’t let this get you down.  You gotta keep strong for those kids. You gotta trust God.” Then, he’d pull away and look into my eyes with such ferocity; I felt as if he was trying to shoot strength into my very soul. Looking around the funeral home this past Sunday, I had to wonder the number of other people for whom Mike had also done this.  

 

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           From the opening notes of Casting Crowns’ version of “Beulah Land,” to Mercy Me’s, “I Can Only Imagine,” and finally, to the organist’s rendition of “When We All Get to Heaven,” the funeral was a fitting tribute to Mike.  In front of me was Kelli with one arm strongly wrapped around her mom as her Dad would have done. Her brother, Todd, spoke with the heart and conviction of his Dad. Jake, Mike’s oldest grandchild, read two passages from “Papaw’s Bible” that he had selected on the previous day in his own Bible only to find those same passages highlighted, the following day, in his grandfather’s Bible.  Josh, Noah, and Grace, Mike and Betty’s other grandkids, firmly held steadfast jaws and faces in the same manner as I had witnessed Mike hold his on numerous occasions requiring strength. The service was filled with tears, laughter, and the poignant beliefs and memories of Mike Mullens.

 

 

 

          When John and I entered the funeral home, sunlight filled the skies with brilliant radiance, reminding me of Mike’s radiant eyes when he smiled.  As we exited the building upon the funeral’s conclusion and began our drive to the cemetery, the clouds were brooding with the temperament of Mike when he was worried about a loved one or someone who had committed a transgression.  Soon those clouds became threateningly dark, reminding me of the way Mike’s eyes could darken whenever he observed or spoke of a person’s misbehavior or “wrong” opinion. During the graveside ceremony, the sky began to cry rain as I had seen tears stream down Mike’s etched face on more than one occasion when he was feeling moved or saddened.  Driving away, the skies unleashed their anger, shooting daggers of lightning bolts and booming thunder. I had to inwardly grin; I had certainly known to Mike verbally unleash stormy words of clarity with those who had crossed the line! It seemed as if the day’s weather was full of Mike’s passion.

 

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Mike and his wife, Betty, were married 52 years!

 

           An hour or so later, as John and I were driving away from our own church’s evening mass that we attended after Mike’s services, we saw a colorful rainbow arching out and from the heavens above. How fitting, I thought, as we drove down 5th Ave of Huntington, that our entire drive was spent moving towards an eternal sign of peace and love.  It was as if, in full Mike Mullens style, he had the final words of the day after all. “I am in my heavenly home. I am at peace.”

 

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Driving home down 5th Ave, John and I followed this rainbow home. I didn’t realize until after I took the picture, that the MU soccer stadium is the picture. What fitting irony.

 

           Once more, I could hear him whisper not only to me, but also to all that he knew and loved.  “You gotta get through this. You gotta stay strong. You gotta trust God.”

           Rest in Mike. Rest in peace.  You will be missed, but you will not be forgotten.

P. S.  Mike’s testimony from when he turned his life over to God can be found below.  It is worth reading!

 

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Ingredients for a Delicious Day: A Lesson in Savoring the Sweetness of Life

          “Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.”—Alice Morse Earle

 

Recently, my sixth grade students and I were discussing events from their assigned reading of a chapter in a book, Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen. Cole Matthews, the main character, had been convicted for beating another boy who informed on him with the police.  The character of Cole is a stereotypic bully who blames his bad behavior on his alcoholic dad who verbally and physically abuses him and his mother who overlooks the dad’s behavior.

 

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His parole officer, on a visit with Cole in a detention center, brings a grocery bag full of ingredients used to make a molasses cake, such as baking soda, eggs, flour, salt, etc., and asks Cole to try each ingredient separately.  Cole, not wanting to seem weak, takes big bites of each individual ingredient, including a raw egg.  When Garvey asks Cole how the separate ingredients tasted, Cole naturally answers that they tasted terrible.

 

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Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

 

Next, Garvey offers Cole a piece of the actual molasses cake that he had baked.  Upon tasting the cake, Cole proclaimed the cake tasted good.  Then Garvey brings his object lesson full circle by asking Cole which “bitter tasting” ingredient should have been left out.

 

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Photo by Buenosia Carol on Pexels.com

 

I have read and reread this book over the years with my students, and there are many noteworthy passages that make great object lessons for sixth graders.  However, for some reason, thoughts of this passage replayed through my head like an earworm line of a pop song or commercial jingle on the night my husband, John, and I returned from taking our daughter, Madelyn, to Bethany College for her second year.  Clearly, Divine Providence had a lesson to teach me.

 

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Olde Main at Bethany College as pictured in spring of 2018.

 

Maddie had packed up as many of her personal effects as her compact car could hold and left in the early hours of Tuesday morning to drive Bethany for stage one of her move-in.  I tried hard not to be too emotional as she left, but my throat and heart-space filled repeatedly throughout the morning with a choking feeling as I restrained tears.  Additionally, I spent the rest of the week feeling that eye-blurring, heart-tugging emotion each time I thought of her or walked past her empty bedroom even though I knew she was doing what she needed to do.

 

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Maddie and I this summer at the Wright Brothers Memorial in Kitty Hawk, NC.

 

Meanwhile, the hallway was lined with larger tubs, boxes, bags, and random oddities for John and me to take to her at week’s end. Additionally, she left a list on our dining room table of supplies for me to gather and add the hall.  Furthermore, she texted several more additional items that were not on the original list.

A few more items were added to the list, such as finding/gathering paint supplies for an art class.

 

While all of this sounds so simple on paper, John and I have been back to work as teachers at St. Joseph Catholic School since the second week of August.  Like all working parents know, there are numerous responsibilities outside of the work day that also require a certain expenditure of energy.  Add to that equation the fact that we are not the spring chickens we used to be, and well, quite frankly, our personal fatigue and emotional recovery isn’t what it used to be.

 

Nonetheless, I gathered all of the items for which Maddie asked on Thursday evening, so John could load the car.  I felt a nagging annoyance of being asked to search down and gather items that Maddie had not taken time to do before she left. Additionally, I knew John’s back would be throbbing from sitting on a riding lawn mower for hours, which fires up his bulging disc (we have 2-3 acres that he mows), before he even began to carry the heavy tubs and bags to our car.  However, my mom, in a phone conversation that I initiated as I hunted and gathered more supplies, reminded me of all that my dad and she went through to get me to and from Ohio University in Athens.  Hmm . . .

 

The next day, by the time we worked a full day with 95 middle school kids on Friday and began the four-hour drive to Bethany, well, we were tuckered out.  As John drove, we battled staying awake, and I secretly wondered how on earth I would overcome the eventual carsickness that comes with the curvy mountain roads of the Wheeling/Bethany, WV region.  Furthermore, how would we both have the energy for a late night dinner with Maddie, parents of one her Bethany friends, as well as a couple of other friends?  Plus, once the dinner and 30-minute drive back down the mountain to the hotel was over, how would we find even more energy for the next day’s back-straining move?

 

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Olde Main at Bethany College as pictured in spring of 2018.

 

As I write this, I feel heat rising to my own cheeks and tears welling once more.  All I can think is:  selfish, selfish, selfish as well as so many unnecessary worries.  To be certain, I had tasted a few of life’s bitter ingredients, such as the drain of emotional separation from my child, the real fatigue of a life inside and outside of work, as well as carsickness. But what I was forgetting was the sweetness of it all mixed together.

 

My husband and I are fortunate enough to work jobs that allow us the weekend off in order to move the rest of daughter’s supplies.  Both her car and our car transported us safely to the Wheeling/Bethany area.  We could afford to stay in hotel in order to rest for the night.  Maddie’s friend’s parents, Amy and Keith, welcomed us into their home as if we were one of the family and shared with us a spectacularly prepared meal. We spent a delightful Friday evening with the two of them alongside Maddie and two more of her friends.

We spent the evening on top of the mountain, just outside of Bethany College, on a small farm owned by Keith and Amy Vanhorn parents of one of Maddie’s college friends, Eden.

 

The next day, Maddie was in no rush for us to get the rest of things moved into her dorm room, so John and I went to breakfast—something the two of us rarely do.   Afterwards, we sat by the hotel’s fire pit enjoying the coolness of the morning for a few minutes as we each read.  Furthermore, the weather remained mild as we helped to move in both Maddie and one of her roommates, Jillian. I gazed with pride at how organized Maddie’s room looked already with what she had brought with her earlier in the week.  Additionally, she did not want us doing any more work for her once we helped to carry supplies to her dorm room.

 

The early stages of organization of a dorm room before we arrived–it was already looking organized.

 

We had time to relax and read for a few minutes on a cool morning beside the hotel’s fire pit, listening to the trickle of the water fall before the big move-in.

 

Maddie is healthy, bright, articulate, and kind-hearted.  She has a full academic scholarship and begins her second year at Bethany with a phenomenal GPA and enough credit to technically be considered a junior.  She worked hard this summer to overcome a few personal struggles, and John I had the privilege of witnessing her inner growth.

 

Images of Maddie from this summer:  In Cincinnati with my brother and mom to see a pay, at the Optavia National Convention, and dog sitting with Lizzy, my dad and step-mom’s “baby.”

 

Why, then, was I focusing on the bitterness of individual tastes and not the totality of sweetness of this event? Humbly, I say, because I am flawed and imperfect.  It is the curse of my humanity, and I have yet to overcome it.

 

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There is saying about how Divine Providence will continue to put the same lessons in your life until you learn from them. At least this time, I was made aware of my errors, and I can call on my faith to help me do better moving forward.

 

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In the meantime, I am so grateful for not only this middle-of-the-night lesson, but even more so for the wonderful opportunities this weekend truly provided.  John and I are so full of parental love and pride, and are truly blessed parents.  I feel hopeful that Maddie will do better than her old mom who is still in need of learning a lesson or two or ten.

 

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Me, Maddie, and John, squinty eyes and all, at Keith and Amy Vanhorn’s house, late Saturday afternoon just before leaving Maddie at Bethany College.

Rose and Dan: The Story of the Heart to Hand Blessing Box

           “There is a lot that happens around the world we cannot control.  We cannot stop earthquakes, we cannot prevent droughts, and we cannot prevent all conflict, but when we know where the hungry, the homeless and the sick exist, then we can help.”—Jan Schakowsky

           “Most people never really sat down and got to know a homeless person, but every homeless person is just a real person that was created by God and it is the same kind of different as us; they just have a different story.”—Ron Hall

 

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           A man and woman, both possessing skin as brown and lined as an oak tree, stood at a corner along 6th Ave waiting to safely cross the street.  A small boy, perhaps six or seven years in age, held the hand of the man, while an impish girl with large eyes, perhaps four or five years old, held the woman’s. Despite the fatigue in the eyes of the adults, they repeatedly looked down at the children seemingly answering questions and/or giving directions.

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           As the traffic light turned green, they began to cross the intersecting street as I began to drive towards school. I noticed the parents appeared to cling a bit harder to the hands of their little ones—much as I used to do when crossing an intersection with my own daughter when she was quite young.  I continued making my way down 6th Ave, but my thoughts kept drifting back to that family.  Were they homeless? Did they have food? Did the kids go to school?  Was the family safe? Where were they going—after all, this part of town is not really known for its family-oriented businesses.  I wondered if the kids had toys, books, and/or other children with which to play.

 

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          I am often troubled by images such as this as I travel to and from St. Joseph Catholic School where my husband, John, and I teach.  I have frequently wondered how I could help in a tangible, meaningful way. As a 30+ year veteran educator, I have seen a wide variety of heart-breaking circumstances in which kids are often surrounded—situations that I feel quite certain I would have never survived.  It has always been my mission, above all as a teacher, to meet the needs of my students as they come to me, provide them with loving structure and routine in order to not only educate them, but to also reach their heart.

 

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           Sadly, over the years, despite not only my attempts, but also the millions of teachers, and other services, across the country, kids’ environment is such a powerful influence that, at least in my experience, very few kids can overcome the situations in which they are raised. That said, “hope is eternal;” and thus, I continue to shine a light on the potential futures each of my students could have with a bit of hard work and elbow grease.  Still, I have often wondered what more can I do, especially for the homeless children I see daily on my way to work.

 

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           Several months ago, my sister-in-law, Jacki Humphreys, and her husband Tony, were telling me about a “Blessing Box” on 7th Ave in front of the fire station.  She described it as a type of pantry, where anyone in need, not just the homeless, can walk by and take what they need.  Items such as non-perishable foods, hygiene products, toys, and clothing necessities such as socks, shoes, hats, gloves, and so forth can be donated and found there.  The box is open 24/7 for the community to fill as their schedule/budget allows, and for those experiencing hardship to take as needed. Yet, like so many others things in life, I became distracted, and the Blessing Box fell off my radar, I am ashamed to say.

 

                     Photos courtesy of Missy Clagg Morrison via Facebook

 

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           Then, Katrina Mailloux, founder and owner of Brown Dog Yoga as well as one of my yoga teacher training instructors, stated during one of our most recent trainings that she wanted our group of 20 yoga-teachers-in-training to do something for the community.  Suddenly, Jacki’s words about the Heart to Hand Blessing Box came rushing into my mind. I casually mentioned this to Katrina and the rest of the group. That was all it took, Katrina and the rest of the “2018 Yoga Tribe,” as we often refer to ourselves, were ready to help; and by the next day, my trunk was overflowing donations for the Blessing Box.

 

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           Then, once again, life happened, and it would sadly be several days later before John and I found our way to the Blessing Box. My fallibility once again raised its ugly head.  Nonetheless, we had finally arrived and went to work filling the box when I noticed on my second trip walking to the trunk of my car, a couple standing a respectful distance from me whom I would later learn were named Dan and Rose. As I walked by, I spoke to them. They immediately thanked me for what I doing.  I explained that it wasn’t me, but a whole group of people. (And what I should have added was that I am the one that is flawed and waited nearly five days before I came to load it.) On my way from the car to the box, I encouraged them to come join John and me.

 

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           Looking into their eyes, I could see the beautiful young woman that Rose once was and the dashingly tall guy Dan must have been.  Quite frankly, that beauty was still within them if you were willing to look into their eyes, but it was hidden behind the wear and tear of the streets.  We offered them a small Amazon box that we had just emptied to fill with supplies for which they were need. As they talked, I noticed they were missing most, if not all, of their teeth.  They shared stories of life on the street–narratives filled with robberies, beatings, and even recently being stabbed for a backpack. They described visits to the ER and showed me recent wounds and past scars.  Furthermore, Dan spoke of a preacher in another section of Huntington who tries to help them; however, they have been mugged on that part of town so often, they now try to avoid that area—but it was clear they missed talking to the minister.

 

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          To be certain, my mind wanted to go into judgmental role, and I had to keep drawing my focus back to see Rose and Dan as the small children walking into a teacher’s classroom years ago. Inside, that is who they still were at their essence.  In my mind, this was worth remembering as my education experience has taught me that no child has ever stepped foot in my classroom and stated, “When I grow up, I want to be homeless, mentally ill, and/or addicted to drugs.”

           Dan and Rose seemed afraid to take more than what they thought was their “fair share.”  As Dad stated, “There are others who have it worse than us.”

 

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Meet Dan and Rose. Look at those beautiful smiles as they stand in front of the Heart to Hand Blessing Box.

 

           Rose focused on taking a few feminine products for self-care as well as personal hygiene supplies for both of them, “I haven’t used lotion in so long.  This smells so good,” she said opening a bottle a taking in a deep inhalation. Meanwhile, Dan took a box of honey buns, several packages of snack crackers, and toilet paper. “Toilet paper is hard to come by,” he said blushing a bit.  

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They did not want to take more than there fair share. Even when I offered them several plastic shopping bags in addition to the box, they would each only take one.

 

           In the end, Dan and Rose repeatedly thank me.  I kept telling them that it wasn’t me, but many other people far more thoughtful—I just happened to be the one delivering.  Then, Dan looked me straight in the eye and said, “One day, I hope to be in your position.”

           Despite thinking, “I am nobody important, Dan.” I heard myself instead saying, “You will be Dan.  You will be. You just have to believe and begin to take small steps.”

           Hope is eternal.

 

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           Walking away, in the opposite direction of which Dan and Rose began to walk, I fought the sea of emotion welling inside of me. My mind went back to a bumper sticker I had recently seen in the Pullman Plaza parking garage, “Do small things with great love.”  I realized in that moment, the Heart to Hand Blessing Box was a small thing I could begin to do with great love. I hope to overcome my past shortcomings in my failure to help the homeless. Now, that I have witnessed the power of the Blessing Box, and I see how close it is to my school, I have no excuse not to continue to help.  I am called to action. What about you?

 

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           For more information regarding the Heart to Hand Blessing Boxes in Huntington, visit their page of Facebook; or, read “Blessing box– a blessing to those who give and receive” on-line at the Herald-Dispatch.

 

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Yoga Flow

Photographed above:  My beautiful daughter, Madelyn, practices tree pose while standing on the limb of an amazing tree at Jockey’s Ridge on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

Author’s note:  What follows is a highly personal piece I wrote for my recent 200-YTT training.  It is important for the reader to understand that yoga is NOT a religion, nor is it affiliated with any certain religion.  However, what I have found is that yoga’s tenants, restraints, and practices strongly compliments and enhances my personal faith life.  Namaste.

 

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           “One of life’s quiet excitements is to stand somewhat apart from yourself and watch yourself softly becoming the author of something beautiful . . ..”—Norman Mclean

           “Eventually, all thing merge into one, and a river runs through it.”—Norman Maclean            

           “You cannot step into the same river twice.”—Heraclitus

           Fortitude. Tenacity.  Breath.  These were three words I strongly associated with yoga, and for that matter, any fitness or life endeavor, when I first began the journey of yoga teacher training (YTT) at Brown Dog Yoga (BDY), a yoga studio situated alongside the Ohio River in Huntington, WV.    Like the ever changing, ever flowing Ohio River, each time I have stepped into the studio at BDY, the experience is different; and thus, I am different now than when I first walked through its door.

 

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           I am no longer the same person who whispered, “Fortitude. Tenacity. Breath,” as I walked into BDY for the very first time. Arriving early, I sat in the studio, which was all new to me, fighting the well-practiced negative chatter that has spent years dominating my monkey mind.  

           “You’re too old and too injured,” alleged doubt.

           “In fact, you’re too irrelevant, not fit enough, and certainly nowhere near knowledgeable enough,” droned fear.   

            “You’ll never fit in, and talk too much, ask too many questions, or do none of those and just freeze,” whispered anxiety.

           “You’ll never have time to study, practice, and read—much less still possess the ability to learn.  I mean, really, you should just get up and walk out now. Who do you think you are, the next Bryan Kest?  Don’t be so arrogant,” added distrust and suspicion.

           Still, I remained in the room, frozen, silently chanting my mantra, “Fortitude. Tenacity. Breath.”  Bryan Kest videos taught me those words in the 1990s. He was the professional yoga teacher that initially inspired my journey into yoga.  Those words clearly worked for him; therefore, I had latched onto that phrase as the flame clings to the log. After all, those three words pretty much summed up large portions of my life.  It was how I overcame fears, anxieties, and sorrows.

 

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           Nonetheless, I walked out of BDY after that first weekend ready to spread my arms out wide into the crisp, night air and shout to the heavens.  Instead, I inhaled deeply, smiled broadly to myself, and felt a new lightness in my step. This was where I supposed to be, and at the right time.  I would be okay.

           However, like a nagging joint injury that won’t go away, fear, doubt, anxiety, distrust, and suspicion logged frequent flyer miles in the seat of my soul with each new month.  Heart palpitations would wake me during the night. My throat squeezed, belly gripped, and my lungs felt small. Still, I whispered my mantra, “Fortitude. Tenacity. Breath.”

 

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           Then came the moment I was to teach a lesson for the first time.   A percussion section drummed a staccato rhythm in my lungs as a bass drum boomed a brilliant beat in my chest that echoed into my ears, my head, and vibrated my limbs.  Fight, flight, or freeze?

           Emotion ripped through my third chakra, which is located around the area of the belly button and extends up the bottom tip of the breastbone.  It is called the Manipura, which according to The Chopra Center, translates to, “lustrous gem;” yet, this was not what I was feeling.  Instead, the sensations of entrapment and abandonment spiraled in my center. I froze, folded, and flopped.  Failure was all I could think as tears fought to free themselves.

 

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           Fortitude. Tenacity. Breath.  Go back.  Don’t quit. Keeping trying.  

           Then, came the first written test in month four.  It was over the bones of the body and a few other anatomy terms/references.  Life had been busy, and my time for study had been limited. Once again, downpours of panic splattered over me mimicking the winter weather; and, just as the banks of the Ohio River were overflowing with muddy water, so too was my self-doubt spilling out into my now murky manipura.

           Was I really meant to be a yoga teacher? Did I really think I could help others when I clearly couldn’t help myself?  Would the world end if I never became I yoga teacher?  After all, I could finish the program, and at least say my practice had improved, and my knowledge had increased.  There was nothing wrong with that.

 

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As seen on Instagram @positiveenergyalways

 

           Surrender.  Seek. Soul-search. A new mantra was forming.  I began to journal, to meditate, and to pray more.  What did I really want to do? This required work and reflection.  It also required purposeful, deep three-part breathing that Katrina, our main instructor, strongly encouraged me to practice in a private session.

            “Take the breath deep into your belly. Expand it into your ribs and then up into the heart space,” she encouraged.  “Really connect with your breath,” she added. And so, I began to practice this way of breathing.

 

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           Practice.  Progress. Breath. I practiced this three-part breath driving to and from work.  My mediation evolved into simply focusing on three-part breathing and remaining open to what arose.  Moments of prayer, and even time spent writing, were also filled with three-part breathing. All yoga practices, including the sessions in which I practiced teaching others, began to focus more on three-part breathing.

           Soon my desires became clearer.  I needed to practice three-part breathing for the rest of my life because that is yoga. “Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life . . .. (Genesis 2:7 NIV).  This prana, this breath of life can spiral energy, joy, and peace within me, but more importantly, it is my connection to my Creator, my inner light, and my heart.

 

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           I now know that yoga is so much more than physical exercise.  It is a practice for the body, mind, and soul. It is a practice that occurs both on, and even more so, off the yoga mat.  Its observances and restraints ask me to take my practice into my daily life. I feel as if I have barely scratched the surface of yoga and all its interrelated topics in my 200-level YTT.  I want to learn more, to understand more, and to gain deeper insight with regard to yoga. Not only that, but I also feel a deep motivation to share this Divine connection with others in the same way in which it has been so graciously shared to me.  

           Have I lost all feelings of unworthiness, pessimism, and distrust?  NO. However, Rich, another instructor at BDY, introduced another mantra in my life, “Progress, not perfection.”  

 

           Practice.  Progress. Breath.  One of the first yamas, tenants, of yoga is ahimsa, or nonviolence.  However, as I reflect over the very words I have written, I see that violence, sadly, has enveloped so much of my self-dialogue throughout a large portion of my life.  If I have been seeing myself through such a negative, fearful, and judgmental lens, what messages have I subconsciously been projecting onto others? Thus, if I am to truly incorporate this yogic way of life, then I must offer free-will/empowerment, compassion, and forgiveness to myself first in order to fully offer the same to others. This will increase my ability to choose actions, behaviors, and words motivated from a point of genuine love—a practice worth pursuing.

 

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           Deborah Adele, author of one my required readings for 200-YTT, The Yamas and Niyamas, states that in the New Testament, the Greeks used a word, splagchnizomai, which is translated to mean compassion. According to Adele, this word means to feel deeply within one’s bowels or inward parts.  It was used, she explains, when the Gospel writers wanted to reveal that a person was touched so profoundly by another, that they were deeply and inwardly motivated to take immediate action for the benefit of others.  This accurately describes how I now feel about yoga.

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           Yoga holds up a mirror for me daily.  It allows me to see the real me without mucky illusions or ideals of perfection.  I am free to feel deeply, to see where I fall short, but to also feel empowered and emboldened to move forward with incremental steps towards progress as I journey through life.  Looking at my reflection, I can say, I am enough,which will also increase my ability to convey to others, you are enough.  Therefore, I embrace this path of yoga, rather than resist it.  I surrender to the unknown—the unknown of each breath, each practice, and even the unknown of this journey.

 

 

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There is no “arriving,” just a path on which to continue to walk, learn, and grow.

   

        On the Sunday of month six of YTT, our group practiced a walking meditation alongside the Ohio River.  Its rock bed, laid down two-three million years earlier, continuously changes with the unremitting flow of the water.  Likewise, its boundaries subtly, and sometimes violently, shift and sway with the rise and fall of the water. It was formed by the confluence of two rivers; and, countless tributaries from six states feed it and influence its ebb and flow.  Ultimately, the waters of the Ohio River join with the Mississippi River and its tributaries. In the end, all of this water stretches into the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean thus becoming one interconnected body.

 

 

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And all rivers merge into one . . .

 

That is yoga.  It began with one Divine OM over the centuries of time.  One breath led to our collective prana, the Ultimate life force, of which I am an interwoven part; bound to all who came before me and all who will follow after my physical body is not longer present. It began with the ultimate Source as a gift of love, and this Divine Providence lights me from within as well as all living beings around the world.

Light. Love. Life.

Surrender.  Seek. Soul-search.  

Practice. Progress. Path.

Connection.  Breath.

Yoga.

 

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Yoga Teacher Training: The first steps into Forgiveness, Faith, & Fearlessness

           “A little step may be the beginning of a great journey.”—Jennifer DeDonato

           “Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart.  Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes.”—Carl Jung

           I recall when the stack of books arrived on my doorstep in December 2017.  I could feel their physical weight within the box and within my gut. Uh, oh. Who did I think I was?  What sort of thing had I placed myself into? Where did I think this would ever take me? When did I think I could find the time for this? Why did I ever think I could do this? How did I think I could ever learn all of this material?

 

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As seen on Instagram by positiveaffirmations101.

 

           All of my self-doubts, insecurities, fears, and uncertainties burned to the surface via my red face and icy cold hands as I slowly lifted each new book out.  Then, the aroma of new books filled my lungs and the crisp, shininess of each cover glimmered in the light above my kitchen table—my “home office.” One thing was for certain, as a 30+ year educator, I DO savor the sight, scent, feel, and even the sound of pages turning when casually flipping through new books—each filled with the promise of uncharted waters, stories, and journeys.  At least there was comfort and familiarity with that.

 

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Required readings for RYT 2018!

 

           Then came January—the first weekend of training with 19 other so-called strangers, in an unfamiliar location, with unknown instructors, and wait, what? —No desks, tables, chairs, or other types of furniture!  Everybody sits on the floor on mats, blankets, cushions, or any combination of the three? Are you kidding me? At age 52, how was I supposed to survive Friday evenings and daylong Saturday and Sunday sessions like this?  I was ready to bolt back out to my car as tension tightened my belly but froze my body in place. This was yoga teacher training at Brown Dog Yoga, Huntington, WV. It was my choice, but how on earth would I ever get through it?

 

Yes, even at my age, sitting on the floor, with continuous practice, is not only possible, but good for your posture muscles!

 

           I thought of one of my favorite and charismatic video yoga instructors, Bryan Kest, best known for his work with Power Yoga.  He had a saying onto which I had latched in the early 1990’s: fortitude, tenacity, breath.  These three words had often been the mantra that powered me through many life and fitness endeavors.  I would utilize the strength of those words once more in order to power my way through this training. Little did I know then, those three words would be replaced with other, more meaningful and much softer phrases.

 

 

One such phrase was, surrender, seek, soul-search.  Learning to surrender to the moment, to events as they are, to life as it is—is a skill for which I am still learning. My desire to seek truths, knowledge, and understanding began to evolve over the eight months of training/study, and it continues to grow even now. Additionally, looking inwardly and learning to honestly soul-search was, and often still is, a painful experience because of the truths I am a master at hiding from myself, but if I am to grow, then I must continue to do this.

 

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Although this is the logo for Outer Banks Yoga, the image serves as a reminder to me of the importance of taking time to develop your own inner practice of growth.

 

           Practice, progress, breathe, has also become another utilized phrase.  Yoga is not just a form of exercise (Although it is a GREAT form of exercise that anyone can do!) —it can be a way of life with practices and applications for both on and off the mat.  Make no mistake, though, it is NOT a religion. My 200-hours of training and study is not the end, but only the beginning of a practice that I intend to continue for the rest of my life.  I now realize I have MUCH more to learn and apply in order to evolve.

 

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There is no “arriving,” just a path on which to continue to walk, learn, and grow.

 

           Thus, I can no longer think in terms of “perfection” or “arriving,” as I used to do when I trained for a marathon, sought a degree, attempted to lose weight, and so forth.  With yoga, it’s about progress.  Yes, I will most likely falter, waiver, and perhaps even fall.  The important thing is, like the old saying from my childhood, “try, try again.”  Allow those mistakes and so-called failures to teach me lessons and further my progress towards understanding.  Age, injury, career, and any other role that life has assigned to me cannot impede my inner-work, unlike my former short-term goals.  Personal growth and progress never has to end as long as I practice, study, and/or reflect.

 

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Deep belly breathing, meditation, prayer, and time for reflection are so important for personal growth.

 

           Breathing comes into play because I am a breath and tension holder.  Part of my make-up, if I am to be honest, is to feel “in control.”  As an educator, writer, parent, and so forth—that feeling of control has ruled my life—I, frankly, still struggle with it.  Letting go of the feeling of control requires faith and deep breathing.  And, while I do not want self-discipline to be confused with what I am writing about, the act of holding expectations causes me to hold my breath and grip tensions throughout my body—such as neck, shoulders, belly, etc.– when life events don’t go my way.  Deep breathing reminds me to let go and rest in my faith that life is as it should be, and a MUCH higher power than myself is in control. No amount tensing up body parts is going to change outcomes.

           Finally, one of my dear teachers, Katrina, recently offered me a new mantra:  forgiveness, FAITH, and fearlessness.  Learning to forgive myself of my self-defined failures will thus lead to more forgiveness of others.  We all make mistakes; it is the humbling part of our humanity. Fear of so-called mistakes will freeze and stagnant my inner growth. Thus, I must continue to rely on my faith in order to increase the act of forgiveness and move throughout the rest of my life with fearlessness.

 

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As seen on Instagram @positiveenergyalways

 

            Yes, it is true, I entered yoga teacher training in order to teach yoga—which I am now officially certified to do.  However, I walk away a different and very grateful person, with not only a deeper understanding of yoga, but also a deeper understanding of myself.  Additionally, I am now connected to group of gifted and unique individuals with whom I shared this journey.

 

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           What does all of this mean?  I am not sure. I do plan to teach yoga.  I also plan to continue teaching my students at St. Joseph Catholic Middle School, continue writing, and continue on this path I started at BDY.  I am also still wife, mom, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, and so forth. Yet, I now realize that none of these things are truly who I am. At the very core of who I am, I see a child of God, a Divine creation that is not only within me, but also within each of you Dear Reader, and every other human being on this planet.  As the book of Genesis described, we were all brought into the being with the “breath of life,”and we will continue on this earth until our last breath is uttered.  It is my intention to utilize this gift of life to offer moments of positivity and upliftment to others. I will NEVER be perfect, but I can move forward with Grace.  In the words of Anne Lamott, “I do not understand the mystery of grace—only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”

P.S.  I am eternally grateful to Katrina and Rich Mailloux as well as Tina Chabot and the members of the 2018 YTT tribe. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you. Namaste.

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Lucy, the brown dog, visits us on our last day of Yoga Teacher Training!

 

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Katie Arnold, one of my dear classmates, took a selfie of the two of us for her Instagram album.  She, like the rest of the 2018 YTT tribe, is a special and gifted individual.  

 

 

La Famiglia–A Place to Call Home

           “It’s the nature of Italians to live life with a positive tone and to celebrate the invitations that come along in life. Italian food is so conducive to all of that.”—Lidia Bastianich

 

 

Caroline, Courtney, and **Emily–three of the friendly faces at La Famiglia.      **Emily has since left La Famiglia in order to focus on her studies at MU Medical School!

 

         “Hi Mrs. Hill!  We’ve got seats for you!”  The young lady exclaims as we pass her.  Her name is Caroline, and she is one of the many staff members at La Famiglia, 1327 6th Avenue in Huntington, WV, who makes John, my husband, and me feel right at home.  Caroline’s face glistens in the evening sun as she rushes about taking care of the outside patio customers.

           Entering through the front door, John and I are further greeted by Courtney and Selena, the latter of whom also happens to be one of my former Kindergarten students from what seems like a lifetime ago.

 

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Entrance to La Famiglia’s beautiful private event room–ready to book your next special event.

 

           “Hi guys! How are you?” greets Selena.

           “I’m going to check right now and see if the guys have gluten-free pasta in the back for you Mrs. Hill,” adds Courtney as she hustles away and disappears into the kitchen area.

           “Hi! Mrs. Hill.  How’s Maddie? I feel like I haven’t seen her in forever!” greets and asks another former, but much more recent, student named Sophie.

           “Hi guys, good to see you!” gently and softly adds one of John’s former students, Hayley.

           “Hey! Hi again!” chimes in Sam, a fairly new waitress with a youthful grin.

 

Tyler and Emily are ready to serve drinks from behind the bar.

 

           As the evening sun made its westward descent casting a warm, ripened- peach-hued glow overhead during this recent visit, John and I enjoyed talking with former and current students and/or their parents, fellow staff and/or church members, and even Rev. Monsignor Dean Borgmeyer, our parish pastor, before, during, and after our scrumptious dinner. Additionally, La Famiglia owner Ralph Hagy, and his sons, Joe and Jordan, each spent time, not only talking with us, but also making their rounds throughout the restaurant conversing with all of their customers.  This is one of the reasons why dining at La Famiglia has the feel of eating at home with extended family and friends; and, it is that very atmosphere, as well as made-from scratch food, that keeps “mi famiglia,” my family, returning again and again.

 

 

The interior and exterior of La Famiglia is comfortable and inviting.  Just look at that porch swing!

 

           Of course, it doesn’t hurt that La Famiglia is located directly across from the school in which John and I teach as well as our home church, St. Joseph Catholic School and St. Joseph Catholic Church respectively.   Since John and I tend to work late on Friday evenings, it’s not unusual for us to walk directly from school to the restaurant where we know our end-of-the workweek-fatigue will be assuaged with made-from scratch food—including the pasta, sauce, pizza, and yes, cheese, as well as gregarious conversation and a wide variety of appealing “adult beverages,” including house crafted specials, such as limoncello and figcello to name a few.

 

 

Jordan, Ralph, and Joe Hagy are seen most nights circulating among customers ensuring they feel at home and welcome!

 

           While I was already well aware of how very much my family enjoys dining at La Famiglia, I fell even more in-love with it after experiencing a sneak-peak behind the scenes!!  Ralph, Ramon, and staff invited me to not only take pictures of their wood-fired oven and kitchen area as the staff recovered from a weekday lunch rush and prepared for the dinner crowd, but also to observe the cheese-making process.  I was pumped to say the least!

 

 

Check out the wood-fired oven and busy kitchen!         Ramon Urbaez gets the water hot for the curds!

 

           Arriving around 3:30 one afternoon, I found the dining area abandoned, except for one lone salad and water sitting on the bar.  (Later, I would learn it was Ralph’s lunch for which he did not have time to eat.) As I walked toward the kitchen, I could hear Ralph talking.  Rounding the corner, I watched as Ralph deftly navigated between a call on a cell phone and a call on the restaurant phone. I could tell from the conversations that both calls were regarding acquiring fresh ingredients for the restaurant’s current menu and upcoming weekend specials.

           Across from him was a box chock full of fresh produce that Ralph later explained to me had just arrived from a nearby WV farm-based business.  In return, Ralph was sending the farm-business a few products from his restaurant to use and sell. Ralph explained that sometimes the barter system was still the best way for local businesses to help one another.  

 

Garden fresh produce at La Famiglia!

 

           Meanwhile, as Ralph talked, water was being heated over a stove in an enormous pot, seemingly big enough to bathe a large dog, to a precise temperature in order to make fresh cheese. Nearby, was another large pot filled with salted curds ready to be made into fresh mozzarella cheese.  Ralph explained that the staff goes through the cheese making process nearly every business day! The water must be heated between 160-180 degrees in order to create the best consistency and bring out the most flavor. Once Ramon stated the temperature was correct, both men went to work.

 

 

Salted curds await to have hot water poured over them in order to make fresh mozzarella balls.  Two pans of ice water baths await to cool the fresh cheese.  Additionally, a paddle is ready to help stir these curds along!

 

           Gloves were donned, due to the high temperature of the water, curds were dropped in the water, and Ramon began to work his magic on the curds using a large wooden paddle that looked very much like a paddle used to maneuver a canoe.  Ralph was at the ready holding the pot steady. It was hot work that Ramon said felt, “really good to do in the winter, but not so much in the summer.”

 

 

Ralph pours the hot water over the curds as Ramon is at the ready with the paddle.

 

           Once the correct consistency had been reached, both men plunged their gloved hands into the hot water in order to knead and form fresh, warm mozzarella balls between the size of a baseball and softball.  Each of these freshly formed mounds was then placed on a large metal baking sheet to cool.

 

 

As the cheese begins to bind and reach the right consistency, Ralph and Ramon begin making the fresh balls of mozzarella.

 

           Ralph was kind enough to allow me to taste a bit of the warm, ooey-gooeyness.  Wow! Did my taste buds ever light up and dance a mambo in my mouth. I tried to imagine, as Ralph suggested, how good the warm cheese would taste if drizzled with a bit of quality balsamic vinegar and olive oil served up with fresh garden basil and tomatoes.  Oh my! No wonder La Famiglia’s Fresh Caprese Platter and Margherita pizzas are two of their biggest sellers in the summer!

 

 

Margherita Pizza, Caprese Capri, and Caprese Platter are three dishes at La Famiglia that feature their daily-made, fresh mozzarella cheese!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

           Watching the intense focus that went into their cheese making, I could only imagine the attention to detail that goes into each of their made-from-scratch menu items and weekly specials.  In fact, Ralph further explained to me that they make all of their pasta and pizza dough fresh from flour imported from Italy. Additionally, I was privy to see the first class, organic meats and tomato products they purchase from an Italian wholesaler. Clearly the restaurant does not skimp on quality when it comes to the ingredients for their menu items. No wonder my family feels like we are sitting down to a homemade meal when we go to La Famiglia, because we are!

 

 

Fresh, quality meats from an Italian wholesaler. 

 

           Whether you are dining in or taking out, the next time you want a home cooked, family meal that is truly made-from-scratch from fresh whole food ingredients, but don’t have the time or energy to cook, give La Famiglia a try!   From hand-cut steaks to fall-off the-bone, slow-cooked ribs; from fresh, tasty salads and soups to made-from scratch pasta and pizza; from grilled-to-perfection fish to savory appetizers, including their family recipe for hand rolled meatballs; and from one-of-a-kind gelatos to over-stuffed cannolis, and-oh-so-much more, you are sure to walk away from La Famiglia feeling like a well-fed part of their family!

           From my home to yours, I wish you healthy, happy, and homemade meals!

 

Appealing appetizers, including Diavolo Horn . . .

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Farm-fresh salads . . .

 

 

Fall-off-the-bone Diavolo Ribs and Short-rib Dinner Special . . .

 

 

 

         

    

Fill-your-mouth-with-comfort Lasagna Calabrese  . . .

 

 

Unique seasonal specials, i.e. stuffed, grilled eggplant . . .

 

 

Phenomenal made-from-scratch (including the crust) wood-fired pizza . . .

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Perfectly cooked to your request, hand-cut steaks and other weekend specials . . .

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Steaming platters of made-from-scratch-pasta—notice how one platter fogged my camera lens!  (with gluten-free option available) . . .

 

 

Unique and homemade desserts . . .

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Western Salad

            “It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.”—Lewis Grizzard

 

“Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.”—Brian O’Driscoll

 

It is fresh garden tomato season!  As a child, I never ate tomatoes—or much of any other vegetable for that matter.  (Of course, I love vegetables now!) Nonetheless, I have many fond memories surrounding tomatoes.  To begin, both of my grandparents and my Dad grew tomato plants.  They babied, coddled, and cared for those plants as if they were precious and rare gems.  At the time, I could not understand why. Now, I have a MUCH greater appreciation for their actions.

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

When that first tomato arrived on the vine and was ultimately picked, I watched with wonder, as one of the grown-ups in my life would slice the red globe with care.  Next, the tomato would be arranged in a fanned-out circular fashion on a small, plate and carefully salted.

 

“Salt brings the sweetness out, Stethie,” my Grandmother Helen would explain to me.

 

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Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

 

During dinner, depending upon if I was eating dinner with my grandparents or at home, I would observe the adults in my life eating freshly sliced tomato alongside whatever else we were eating.  Oh, to-be-sure, there were plenty of grilled hamburgers and BLT sandwiches served when the tomatoes began ripening, but I never stopped being astonished at the fact that most influential adults in my life ate plain tomato slices with salt only.

 

Later, my Aunt Patty, from the faraway land of Denton, TX, introduced our family to a new tradition–Western Salad.  This was such a simple recipe that really brought out the tang, zest, and sweetness of a freshly picked garden tomato. It was actually one of the first ways I learned to eat tomato.  Western salad became a HUGE hit in our family.  It was sure to be served at most summer gatherings even when Aunt Patty, my Uncle Ralph, and their kids (my cool cousins) were not in town. To this day, John, my husband, and I, still nosh on Western Salad throughout the hot months of the year. It is now our summer tradition—going well with steak, grilled chicken, hamburgers, and so forth.

 

 

Of course, like all family recipes, they change and evolve through time.  Therefore, I am not sure if the recipe I share with you is the exact same recipe that Aunt Patty made all those years ago, but it adheres to the basic ingredients as best I recall.  What I love about this recipe is that it lends itself to modification to fit most any dietary/lifestyle needs.  Don’t like or want beans, leave them out.  Don’t like or need chips, leave them out.  Want to add in grilled chicken, steak, or shrimp, go right ahead.  A good recipe lends itself to modification—and this is a great one—at least to John and me!

 

From my home to yours, I wish you happy, HEALTHY, and homemade fun!

 

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Aunt Patty’s Famous Western Salad

 Serves 4-6, depending upon size of lettuce and portion of serving

Ingredients:

 1 head lettuce (Check that it feel solids and heavy.)

1 large tomato, diced (A freshly grown garden tomato tastes best.)

1 can of Bush’s Vegetarian beans (Feel free to leave beans out if they do not adhere to your dietary needs or you do not like them.)

¼- ½ Catalina or Red French dressing (can be reduced-fat or fat-free)

1-cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese (can be reduced-fat or fat-free)

Fritos, or any other corn based chip to taste—we love chili cheese flavor  (This can be omitted based on dietary needs.)

Optional add-ins: diced green pepper, diced purple or other sweet onion, and/or chopped red cabbage

Directions:

Chop or tear entire head of lettuce into large salad bowl.

Dice large garden tomato and add to salad bowl.

Slightly drain beans, if using—do not rinse and add to salad.

If using any other additional vegetables, chop/dice and add those.

Gently stir-in Catalina or Red French dressing, a little at a time, until you get the desired amount. Vegetables should be lightly coated, but not drenched.

Top with shredded cheese.

Serve immediately, and top with desired amount Fritos.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Protein Waffle

           “You should eat a waffle!  You can’t be sad if you eat a waffle!”—Lauren Myracle

           “We need to remember what’s important in life:  friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work, it doesn’t matter.  But work is third.”  Amy Poehler

 

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Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Pexels.com

           I smelled them before I saw them.  

           Yum. What is that delicious smell?  I couldn’t help but wonder as I stepped out of my bedroom and walked toward the kitchen.

           I had been at one end of the house getting dressed and ready for the day.  I had not yet eaten breakfast and the sweet smell emanating from the kitchen made my mouth water and stomach rumble.   As I continued down the hall and closer to the kitchen, the freshly baked scent became even stronger.

           “Dang, something smells good in here!”  I declared as I entered the kitchen.

           My daughter, Maddie, turned her head and smiled at me.  She was standing at the kitchen counter. In front of her, steaming away, was her mini-Dash waffle maker.  Beside the mini-waffle maker was a plate stacked with several waffles of varying colors.

 

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The mini-Dash waffle maker

          

           “Wow! You’ve been busy.  Tell me what you’ve made here.”  

 

           I said this with marvel and admiration in my voice, as it had only been a few weeks since we ordered the waffle maker at Maddie’s request.  When it first arrived, she was a bit apprehensive about how to use it. I talked her through the basics, and set her free to experiment. As with all new skills, there was a bit of a trial and error period. However, now, it was clear, she was the master of the mini-dash.

           “This stack is chocolate chip, this is brownie, this is blueberry, and this is strawberry,” Maddie explained pointing to each one.  “Want to try one?”

 

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           As good as they smelled, she did not have to twist my arm.  Then, she served me strawberry and blueberry flavored waffles.  Boy, did they smell heavenly!

 

           When I was a kid, I wanted syrup in every single square of a waffle, but the aroma was so divine that I decided to try them just as they were.  Since they had been made in a mini-Dash waffle maker, they were about the size of a large cookie, so I ate it like I was eating a cookie as I sipped my morning coffee.

           “Oh my goodness, Madd, are these ever good! Tell me how you made them.”

 

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Some of the ingredients for protein waffles.

 

           As I listened to Maddie explain how to make the waffles, I felt a sudden rush of motherly pride and a profusion of love. While she had often helped me out in the kitchen, she had not spent much time in the kitchen by herself experimenting with cooking.  Her life throughout high school had been busy, filled with her devotion to studying and sports’ teams.

 

 

           Then, this past school year, she entered Bethany College, throwing herself heart and soul into her classes and studies. The pressure she put on herself was enormous; and while she ended the year with a 4.0, it came at a cost to her physical and mental health.  Maddie came home in May both physically and mentally spent. Her weight was up, her energy was low, and I often saw her sitting and staring straight ahead.

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

           As a mom, I couldn’t help but worry about her, but I knew I could not do as I used to do when she was a young girl—hold her in my lap, smother her with kisses and reassurances.  Rather, I had to learn to hold space for her—not an easy thing to learn to do as a parent when you see your child suffering.

           Without going into too much detail, a family member reached out to Maddie.  This person was also going through a difficult time and had also put on stress-related weight.  The family member said they wanted to take charge of their health and were considering the Optimal Weight 5 & 1 plan—a system devoted to optimal health and wellness, not just weight loss.  

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

           Long story, longer, Maddie and this family member decided to join forces with a health coach and begin taking small steps towards improving their energy levels and habits as well as mental and physical well-being.  Additionally, Maddie and the other person checked in with their respective doctors. Together, they have been supporting one another; and, as a result, Maddie is beginning to explore the kitchen more. Protein waffles are just one example of the healthful goodies she has learned to create.

 

 

 

           Who doesn’t love waffles? I thought as I sat there mindfully chewing through each tasty bite of the waffles Maddie shared with me.  I never dreamed I could eat a waffle without syrup, but when one tastes this good, it simply doesn’t need a thing.  That said, I have watched Maddie drizzle a little sugar free syrup on her waffles; or, sometimes, she squirts it with a bit of spray butter.  Maddie tends to make these waffles in batches and store each serving in sandwich baggies or reusable containers and reheat them for breakfast or takes them in her lunch. Waffles for lunch?  Sounds good to me!

 

 

 

           In addition to eating these plain, I also like to take one tablespoon of powdered peanut butter and thin it down with about a tablespoon and a half of water, then drizzle that over the top of chocolate and vanilla flavored waffles.  Sometimes, if I want a bit more of a splurge, I will grab about 15 or so mini-semi-sweet chocolate chips and sprinkle over the top—but that’s the rare case. Most of the times, I follow Maddie’s example. I make my mini-waffles ahead of time.  Store them in individual serving bags or containers, and eat them plain any time of the day I need a grab and go meal.

 

 

 

           Now that Maddie is cooking, I am eager to share all that I am learning from her with you, Dear Reader!  While I enjoy the treat of dining out, I most love made-from-the-heart-home-made meals. And, I love sharing that home-cooked joy with others!

           From my home to yours, I wish you happy, HEALTHY, and homemade meals.

 

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Photo by Isaiah on Pexels.com

 

           Final note: In addition to learning to take charge of her own food preparation, Maddie has also begun to practice yoga regularly; she has increased energy; she now possesses the skills to eat out with friends AND make healthy food choices; she is focusing on organizing her bed room and helping her dad and me organize our house; and as I write this, she has also just so happened to have lost 13.4 pounds and over 10 inches in five weeks!  Plus, her sparkling eyes and infectious smile are back! And that’s not all; she is now a Health Coach and paying forward the journey of health with others!

 

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Protein Waffles  **If following the Optimal Weight 5 & 1 Plan, see recipe below

1 serving of your favorite protein powder

Dash of pink Himalayan sea salt

1-tablespoon light cream cheese

2-tablespoons egg whites or egg-replacement

1-3 tablespoons of water

Optional add-ins:

½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract (or other flavor extract for that matter)

1-package of stevia or other favorite sweetener

Coat waffle maker with a light coating of nonstick cooking spray.

Plug-in waffle maker and allow to heat.

In a bowl, combine all ingredients EXCEPT water, including any optional ingredient you wish to add.

Then, gradually add, 1 tablespoon of water at a time, until you get the consistency of a thick batter.  You do not want this to be thin and runny.

If using a round waffle maker, spread all batter onto waffle maker and cook according to waffle-maker’s directions.

If using mini-Dash, pour 1/3 to ½ batter into waffle pan. (It may take a few trial and error practice sessions to figure out the right amount.)

Then, cook according to directions.  (We have found with a mini-Dash waffle maker, each waffle takes about 3 or so minutes to fully cook.)

Serve warm; or allow to cool, and store in fridge for later usage.  

Stays good in fridge for several days.  

Makes one serving.

**Optimal Weight 5 & 1 Recipe for Protein Waffle (Approved by Nutrition Support)

Choose 1 fueling  (Some of Maddie’s favorite fuelings to use are Decadent Double Chocolate Brownie, Sweet Blueberry Biscuit, Chewy Chocolate Cookie, Golden Chocolate Chip Pancake, and Wild Strawberry Shake.  I also personally love all of the chocolate shakes, Creamy Vanilla Shake, and Velvety Hot Chocolate.)

Once you have decided on the fueling to use, decide if you want one thick waffle or two thinner waffles.

For one thick waffle:

1-tablespoon egg white  

1-3 tablespoons of water

Optional add-ins:

½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract = ½ condiment

1 package of stevia = 1 condiment

Coat waffle maker with a light coating of nonstick cooking spray.

Plug-in waffle maker and allow to heat.

In a bowl, combine your favorite fueling with egg white and any optional add-in.

Then, gradually, add water, one tablespoon at a time.  Stirring after each addition until you get a thick (NOT RUNNY) batter.

Spread all batter onto waffle maker, and cook according to waffle-maker’s directions. (We have found with a mini-Dash waffle maker, each waffle takes about 3 or so minutes to fully cook.)

Serve warm; or allow to cool, and store in fridge for later usage.  

Stays good in fridge for several days.  

For two thinner waffles:

1 tablespoon light cream cheese = 1 condiment

1-2 tablespoons egg whites  

2-3 tablespoons water

Optional add-ins:

½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract = ½ condiment

1 package of stevia = 1 condiment

Coat waffle maker with a light coating of nonstick cooking spray.

Plug-in waffle maker and allow to heat.

In a bowl, combine all ingredients EXCEPT water, including any optional ingredient you wish to add.

Then, gradually add, 1 tablespoon of water at a time, until you get the consistency of a thick batter.  You do not want this to be thin and runny.

If using a round waffle maker, spread all batter onto waffle maker and cook according to waffle-maker’s directions.

If using mini-Dash, pour 1/3 to ½ batter into waffle pan. (It may take a few trial and error practice sessions to figure out the right amount.)

Then, cook according to directions.  (We have found with a mini-Dash waffle maker, each waffle takes about 3 or so minutes to fully cook.)

Serve warm or allow to cool, and store in fridge for later usage.  

Stays good in fridge for several days.  

Remember, on the Optimal Weight 5&1 Plan, you can have up to 3 condiments per day.

*For more information regarding the Optimal Weight 5&1 Plan, send message here, or send a private Facebook message my daughter, Maddie Hill or me.

            

           

           

 

The Sweetness of Life: Lessons from Blackberries

            “When the blackberries hang swollen in the woods, in the brambles nobody owns, I spend all day among the high branches, reaching my ripped arms, thinking of nothing, cramming the black honey of summer into my mouth . . .”Mary Oliver

 

          “Through Love all that is bitter will be sweet, Through Love all that is copper will be gold, Through Love all dregs will become wine, Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.”–Rumi

ice cream cone on wood
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Isn’t it interesting how the mind works? As a kid, it seemed as if summer stretched on endlessly like driving across the state of Kansas on Interstate 70.  During the infinite sunny season of my youth, I spent many days and nights at my Grandparents’ house in the small town of Raceland, KY.  I can recall the unique smell of their home—a hybrid of mixed scents: fresh garden green beans, rambling rose and spirea bushes, fried meats, sweetly baked treats, Pledge wood polish, old books and magazines, moth balls, and Estee Lauder Youth Dew.  Even now, the memorable scent wraps me in a blanket of security.

 

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My grandparents’ home in Raceland, KY.

 

One of the highlights of these lazy, hazy days was the July 4 holiday week.   We almost always gathered at my grandparents’ house for a holiday feast.  Grandmother, as I called my maternal grandmother, was a phenomenal traditional, good ol’ Appalachian cook. Translated:  She often cooked and baked with bacon grease, left over fat drippings saved in a can, and plenty of sugar.  July 4 was her time to shine, let me tell you!!  Freshly strung half-runner green beans pressure cooked with about a half pound of bacon grease in an oversized pot with a whistling top that seemed to dance on the steam emanating from its center, thickly sliced and salted “just picked from the garden” beef steak tomatoes, Heiner’s brown and serve rolls topped with smears of “oleo,” aka margarine, homemade mashed potatoes mixed with whole milk and slabs of butter, fried chicken that was prepared in an electric skillet using an ample supply of Crisco vegetable shortening, salad sprinkled with little croutons from a can, and her famous, block-you-up-for-days macaroni and cheese.    Additionally, there was always a relish tray with olives, varieties of stuffed celery, and an assortment of pickles.

 

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One of my absolute favorite pictures of my Grandmother and Papaw on the day I graduated from Ohio University in June of 1987. Papaw would have been 75 and Grandmother 72 at the time this picture was taken; and, I was a mere 21 years of age.

 

The real rock star, however, of this show was the tri-fecta of July-4-only-desserts:  made-from-scratch brownies (I still use this recipe.), hand-cranked homemade lemon custard ice cream, and blackberry cobbler baked in a long metal sheet-cake pan with fruit filling on the inside, and a hand rolled pie crust on top. Yes, sir-ree this was some real unbuckle-your-belt and unbutton-your-pants sort of eatin’!

 

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Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

 

Spending time with Grandmother and Papaw (as I called my maternal grandfather) a day or two before this epic-eating event was to watch ritualistic feast preparation worthy of mythological Gods.  Energy flowed and vibrated through my grandparents’ entire beings, and thus created a frenetic field of ever flowing love perfected through food. The house was redolent with sweet, savory, and salty aromas.  Typically, I’d hang out in the kitchen, offering to help, but really hoping for food samples.

“Do you need someone to clean the brownie batter dish (or icing bowl, custard dish, etc.)?  I’d be happy to ‘clean’ it for you.”

 

person washing his hand
Photo by Burst on Pexels.com

 

I attempted to sound sincere, but my mind schemed, I’ll clean it after I slurp up all the generous leftovers clinging to the sides of the bowl. I’m sure my grandparents knew what I was up to, but they didn’t appear mind my so-called help.

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

If I was up early enough during this time period, I’d eat breakfast with Papaw before his assent into the mysterious, overgrown hillside filled with “sticker bushes,” snakes, and insects.  No matter the temperature, he’d don his denim britches, as he called them, a long sleeve plaid shirt, cowboy boots, and a straw summer work hat that had a permanent perspiration ring around the closest part encircling his head like a dirty halo.  Lastly, work gloves were added to one hip pocket, and a red bandana (kerchief) was added to another. Then, once breakfast was over, he’d get an old metal bucket, and head into the safari of overgrowth on both the side and back embankment of their yard.

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Papaw would be gone for hours, or so it seemed. When he finally did return, his bucket would either be overflowing or contain just enough berries to make a cobbler—depending upon the weather the weeks leading up to his picking for which he would never fail to explain to any one who would listen.  His hands would be stained purplish-black, while his arms, legs, head, and face were often scratched with briar claw marks and numerous bug bites despite his clothing.  Aw, but the scent emanating from the bucket was sweet and earthy, the fruits of his stick-to-it-ness.

 

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All of these recollections, and more, ruminated within my head recently as I picked blackberries one hot July evening. Plucking those tiny jewels of dark sweetness, my mind also drifted to thoughts of how berry picking is so much like life.

 

blackberries on table
Photo by Ir Solyanaya on Pexels.com

 

Picking blackberries is hard, often painful, and even annoying work.  It takes time, effort, energy, and much patience to pick enough blackberries to make a cobbler.  As I plucked away at the fruit, thorns perpetually pricked my skin, while mosquitoes and flies dined on my exposed flesh.  Much of the fruit was hidden in the brambles or dangling high above me.  I had to learn ways to work, such as lifting a branch by a leaf to reveal the berries behind it; or, contort my body by sucking in my belly, stretching up on tip toes, and craning my neck at odd angles in order to successfully gain a few more gems. I spent over an hour, and in that time I was able to pick about a pound of berries—not a lot for the wear and tear on my body.  Yet, the sweet reward of fresh baked cobbler scenting my home seemed enough motivation as I thought of my connection to family love.

 

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My hands were stained, scratched, and scoured from picking berries, but the sweet reward kept me moving.

 

My grandparents had it right.  Marriage, childbirth, education, friendships, work relationships, healthy habits, maintaining a robust faith life, and even family feasts–none of these are easy.  We get snarled, tangled, and stung by life events.   There are time periods in life where we may feel as if we are ensnared in the middle of the world’s biggest briar patch, but it is at these very times where we must keep the faith and continue to pick away from a place of love, genuine good-will, and honest effort, for the ultimate sweetness awaits us—the metaphorical taste of yummy-for-the-tummy, laugh-out-loud at the stain-your-teeth-purple goodness of the simple cobbler that is the joy of life.

 

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Over a pound of blackberries, ready for the freezer in order to make a cobbler later this month.

 

 

 

 

One Grain of Sand

           “I love the sea’s sounds and the way it reflects the sky.  The colors that shimmer across the surface are unbelievable.  This, combined with the color of the water over the white sand, surprises me every time.”—John Dyer

           “In this big ball of people, I’m just one grain of sand on this beach.”—Aurora

           Walking across black pavement, I moved as if the asphalt under my feet was melting into a viscous mixture.  The air was heavy with 83% early morning humidity. I rounded the corner of the Hilton Garden Inn, Kitty Hawk, NC, and there it was!  Looming directly in front of me: the Kitty Hawk Pier.

 

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The Kitty Hawk Pier bathed in morning sunlight.

          

           I followed the yoga teacher down the steps beside pier.  She explained that we would practice in the sand facing the pier.  “You’re not going to avoid getting sandy,” she added with a wry smile.  

 

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The beach yoga teacher rearranges a beach blanket on the ground from which she would teach yoga. She had just loaned the only yoga mat she brought with her to a student who did not have one.

 

           Watching her leave the designated area for our morning practice, she walked to the shoreline.  Sunlight glistened, dazzled, and danced over the expansive, seemingly breathing waves. I inhaled deeply, fully expanding my belly, rib cage, and heart space as is if I could make the ocean air part of my very being at the cellular level, if that were possible.   To and fro went the rhythmic slap of the waves overpowering the sounds of urgent morning birdsong, distant conversation, and the click, click, clatter of sand crabs. The resonance all blended into a shoreline tune full of layered harmony.

 

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Morning sun glistens on the Atlantic Ocean at the Kitty Hawk Pier.

 

           Gazing down at my feet, the most random questions struck me.  How many grains of sand was I standing upon? How long had it taken for each grain to arrive at this very point in support of my feet?  Furthermore, if I returned to this exact spot tomorrow morning, how many of those grains would be gone, or at the very least, be moved to another location, and how many would be new?  Then, it hit me . . .my life is but one of those grains of sand in a world full of billions of people. However, I rapidly lost this train of thought as a few others gathered. It was time for the morning yoga class to begin.

 

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How many grains of sand are under my feet? How long did it take them to travel there? If I stepped in the exact same spot tomorrow, would any of the same sand grains still be there?

 

           True to the instructor’s word, we did, indeed, get sandy—really, really sandy.  In fact, I was reminded of a TV commercial for a product of long ago, “Shake and Bake.”  Meat, usually pork chops, as best my memory serves, was placed in a plastic bag. Then, a beautifully manicured hand poured a prefilled pouch of spices into the bag, and over those generously cut pork chops.  Next, those same perfect hands shook the bag turning the raw, red meat into a white, ghost-like, powdery form. That was me practicing yoga on the beach, minus the bag.

 

Our instructor giving final instructions before beginning our yoga practice.  Students beside me listening and preparing to begin.

 

           The sun, still low on the eastern horizon, felt like a spotlight on each pose as the instructor taught.  Sweat began to form at the nape of my neck and ran into my eyes whenever we bent forward—which was often at the beginning. We practiced what is called in yoga, appropriately enough, “Sun Salutations.” This is often used as a warm-up sequence in yoga classes.  Warm me up, it did, but I wasn’t about to complain. After all, I was at the beach for heaven’s sake!

 

photo of sea during golden hour
Photo by AllJos . on Pexels.com

 

           Half way or so, through the class, at the request of one of the students, the teacher moved us into the shade of the Kitty Hawk Pier.  It completely changed my perspective. The beach, the sand, the ocean waves, the beach homes in the distance, the hotel behind the sand dune, people with cups of morning coffee making their way idly along the shoreline, sea birds dipping, darting, and diving for their breakfast, the cacophony of sounds, and the briny, pungent scents—none of this had changed, but my line of vision was now redirected.  It was as if a whole new beach spread out before me.

 

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Under Kitty Hawk Pier.

 

           This is what a vacation, time away, a day or two off from work, or even a good night of sleep can bring—a newer, fresher perspective.  It is the feeling of the sweet release of a sigh after a deep inhale. It is the sunrise of life. The new sand washed ashore after a storm, or the blue of the sky after days of dark, doom-filled clouds.  

 

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The shore will erase the sand of my footprints as if it is a fresh sheet of paper ready for a new story.

 

           As a teen, and even into my thirties, I used a typewriter to write essays and assignments for classes or work. There was nothing like pulling out that white sheet of paper, feeling its smoothness, and drinking in its blemish-free blandness.  That blank page was full of promise and hope of work well written.

           I’d carefully line up those paper edges into just the right spot.  Then, I’d roll the bar until I could press the return button and count down the perfect number of lines down before I began typing.  Fingers would hover over the keys momentarily as I sent up the silent whisper of a promise to myself, “You’re not going to make mistakes this time, Steph.  This time, you will not need white out. The margins, the lettering, the spacing will all be beautifully aligned when finished.” Within the first paragraph, however, that fantasy typically came to a crashing halt as I was a terrible typist!

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

           And so it is with our attachments, expectations, and even our challenges/problems.  We forget that everything can, will, and is changing. Frequently we attach, and even worry/fret, over our vision of the world, of ourselves, of others, of our problems, of our jobs, of our family, of our current situation, and so forth.  Sometimes, stepping out of the daily routine, habits, and schedule allows us to gain a new vantage point as I did on the beach that morning.

 

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My yoga mat was clean and ready for a new practice before I “dirtied” it up with sand as we practiced on the beach that morning. While I did have to suffer through a bit of sand abrasion and discomfort throughout the practice, once it was over, I picked up my mat and dusted off the sand in order to start fresh for my next practice–just as we can do each and every day and even moment!

 

           That number of sand grains under my feet as I practiced yoga, changed, shifted, and rearranged itself continually on that day.  My body continuously wobbled, bobbled, and tottered on the shifting sand. In fact, I fell down on more than one occasion! Before long, the sun had risen well above the horizon, the beach was more populated with people, the class came to an end, and those of us who were brought together to practice yoga as one group walked away, one-by-one.  Morning bled into afternoon, afternoon flowed into evening, and the sun was swallowed up by the western horizon. Tomorrow will be a new day with a different view.

 

I was blessed to see the sun rise on this morning.  A new day, a fresh start after a period of darkness.

 

           It was my lesson to learn that I need to attach less to material acquirements, status, ideas of perfection, worries, stress, problems, and other rewards or challenges social media and the world attempt to convince me are important.  Instead, may I learn to accept the shifting sands of life, and may I continually see there is always another perspective beyond the image directly in front of me. May I continue to rise up, dust the sand off, and try again whenever I do fall; and, may I allow the same for others.

 

           Playing around under Kitty Hawk Pier after the beach yoga class.  Thank you Outer Banks Yoga.  You’re absolutely right when you say, “There is time for this.”

 

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An image from Outer Banks Yoga with whom I had the pleasure of practicing yoga and pilates with all week! Namaste!