Tag: mindfulness strategies

The Lost Art of Delayed Gratification

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. . . .  All good things are worth waiting for . . .”–Susan Gale

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Window of opportunity ⏱️

One of the more popular health trends that continues to grab headlines is around time-restricted eating or TRE.  It is a form of intermittent fasting in which a person chooses a window of time within a day, typically 6-12 hours, in which they eat.  During the time outside of this window, those following a TRE protocol, do not consume any other calories and drink only water, although there are some following a TRE plan that consume unsweetened tea or coffee. 

The idea of TRE is to reduce the amount of overall calories consumed in a day and to reduce less-positive habits such as eating late at night or snacking too much early in the day.  Besides the obvious benefits of managing body weight, scientific research  into TRE continues to show promising results, including reducing insulin resistance, reduction of inflammation and oxidative stress, can alter and improve the composition of the microbiome, and improved sleep to name a few. 

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Time to Eat 🍱

Time restricted eating is nothing new to me. In fact, my childhood taught this.  I grew up with a natural TRE called breakfast, lunch, dinner and no snacking in between.  Furthermore, my parents believed that if we didn’t like what was offered at a certain meal; well, we wouldn’t starve because I could eat again at the next meal.  

I can recall sitting in elementary school feeling my stomach growl.  Sure, I had breakfast, but we ate early in order to make the school bus.  I would look at the large classroom clock on the wall, counting down the time until the teacher l lined us up and walked us to lunch. Standing in line waiting for everyone to go to the restroom, wash their hands, and line back up, my mouth would water in anticipation of food.  By the time I sat down with the other students who had packed their lunches, I thought I would perish from hunger! But, oh how good that simple food tasted when I could finally take a bite!

By the time I got home from school, my stomach would once more be begging for food, but there was a hard-fast rule.  No snacking before dinner because you’ll ruin your appetite.  This was made more challenging if my parents had ordered a tray lunch from the school cafeteria, and I didn’t like the food.  Still, there was no debating–wait until dinner.

Fortunately, we tended to eat between 5:00 and 6:00 pm, so I didn’t have to wait too long.  However, I tended to be persnickety about certain food items, so if the meal consisted of a food (or foods) that I didn’t like, too bad for me–or any of my siblings for that matter–there was always breakfast.  We weren’t going to starve–even if we thought we would. 

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Delayed Gratification ⌚︎

The beauty of my parent’s rules, whether they intended it or not, was two-fold.  First, food tastes better when truly hungry.  It felt downright wonderful to have a hearty appetite as I sat down for a meal. The other skill learned was the art of delayed gratification.

Sure, I’ve went through phases, such as camps, overnight stays with friends or family, and later in college and as a young adult, where I ate completely differently than how I was raised–eating at irregular times and noshing on foods I would have never been able to eat at home. 

As an adult, I have also likewise gone through similar phases. It is more challenging now to have those structured meal times since food is so widely available at all hours of the day.  No wonder TRE is so popular now.  It brings back that structure and discipline in which I was raised.

The art of delayed gratification, given the immediacy that technology brings, is perhaps becoming a bit of a lost skill set. The ability to resist an immediate reward for a greater or more favorable reward later requires self-regulation and impulse control, skills that often get lost while scrolling through our various screens. However, delayed gratification is a skill that can be learned at any age, but it is not easy.

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Benefits of Delayed Gratification 🎓

Delayed gratification is what some parents try to teach their children by insisting that all homework must be completed before the kids are given permission to choose a more preferred activity.  It is what adults practice when saving for an important item, such as buying a new car, house, or even something as simple as setting aside money for rent, groceries, utilities, and other bills.  In fact, anytime we choose not to be distracted from our goals or priorities, we are practicing delaying gratification. 

Success in any endeavor, from career to finances, to the most mundane such as cleaning house to choosing when and what to eat, requires the ability to resist the temptation to do something easier (the distraction) and instead, complete something harder, such as studying for that next level career exam or simply choosing, as my parents taught me oh-so-long ago, only eat at meal times. 

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So how do we get better at delayed gratification? ⤵️

There are multiple books, articles, and youtube videos designed to provide various methods. Some people like big changes all at once, such as TRE, leaning into some variation of:  Here’s the rules, the parameters, and the start date.  For certain personalities, a total overhaul of their habits works great.  

However, I tend to prefer more gentle approaches such as:

  • Start with one small change (habit) and stack it with an already existing habit, i.e. I already drink coffee in the morning, why not drink 8-12 ounces of water beforehand?
  • Repeat that change again the next day
  • Set a goal for continuing that new change/habit for a set amount of days with a planned celebration/reward upon reaching the goal
  • If you’re really resistant to completing something, set a timer for two minutes.  At the end of those two minutes, get started. (It sounds silly, but for some people, it works.)
  • Try the “if-then” principle: “If I do this,” (clean kitchen, set up budget, exercise . .), “then I can do this” (scroll through social media, read, nap, etc. . .).
  • Play mind games and daydream (Instead of focusing on what you want to do, daydream about all of the positive feelings you will undergo sticking to and achieving your plan.  Likewise, focus on the negative feelings you will experience if you give-in to a distraction.)
  • Offer forgiveness to yourself when you slip-up (and we all do), but then return to your goal again the next day.
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Make Delayed Gratification work for you! 😄

Ultimately, whether you are trying to stick to TRE, save for new tires on your vehicle, or make that next big career step, employing the art of delayed gratification can help you keep your goals at the forefront of your mind.  By keeping those goals small and achievable, you can visualize the steps along the path to success (better health, cleaner house, better finances, etc . . .), make peace with your distractions, focus more on your plan/goal, and face challenges (aka distractions) with a bit more self-composure and kindness to self. 

Clouds attaching to my story of sunshine: A lesson on detaching from the plan and surrendering to your Higher Power

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“When things don’t go as you planned, don’t be let down. Make new plans. The sun doesn’t stop shining just because of dark clouds.”–unknown

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Who loves a good plan? 🙋‍♀️

Are you a planner?  I can be.  I love a good plan like a kid loves her teddy bear. I can say the same about a solid routine.  Various routines and/or plans give me structure, a scaffolding, to ensure I remember to do, find, and complete various short and long term tasks.  

Without plans and routines, I am a total right-brainer who just goes with the flow.  Free-styling is fine for many of my creative endeavors. Unfortunately, most of my creative endeavors bring little to no income to pay the bills.  However, I love my creative side.  It’s the joyful part of me.  Thus, creating structure and routine to my day, allows me to pay the bills and have fun too.

I will fully admit that I have different plans/routines for different compartments of my day/week, and I work hard to fit those various plans together into the patchwork quilt that is my life. Routines for my profession are obviously far more important and detailed than routines for household chores.  Nonetheless, no matter the plan’s level of so-called importance, if I create or find a plan that truly works, I prefer to stick to it, cling to it if I must . . . but . . .

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Uncooperative Plans 😩

Unfortunately, life isn’t always so cooperative.  It keeps flowing like a river reacting to the weather trends unphased by “Stephanie’s plan”.  Sometimes the river of life flows steady ‘round bends and curves.  Other times it is dried to a near trickle, and I wonder if the rains of inspiration will ever arrive.  Then there are those storms that wildly overflow the banks of life’s river sending its waters over rocky embankments and into uncharted territory.

As I sat at my writing desk this morning, contemplating how to begin writing, I spent time staring out the window.  Dawn’s light had broken upon clouds and fog. I could see peaks of brighter blue sky in between the gaps of the clouds overlaid with gauzy fog, and I realized that is often what happens to my plans.

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planned laughter 😆

I often joke that I must make God laugh all the time by saying that I have a plan.  Despite the fact that I know I need plans to organize myself and my hot-mess of a mind, I also know I cannot attach too tightly to those plans because God and life are going to do what they are going to do with me. And that is exactly what I am now experiencing.

One of my plans for 2024 is to run a spring half-marathon–the Virginia Beach Shamrock.  It is one I ran last March weeks before having a fairly major surgery in April.  Months later, in November, I ran the Marshall University Half-Marathon as a celebration of recovery from that surgery. 

My training plan for the MUM was long and protracted in order to allow my body to heal and recover from surgery.  After returning to work in May, I began gradually increasing my walking endurance throughout May and into June.  

Then, in July and August, I gradually added bouts of jogging into my walking. Gradually, the running sections increased as the walking sections decreased, but there was always permission to walk at any time, and even for the entire work out time, if needed. Due to careful planning, I was able to build up to running the entire half-marathon in November.

Therefore, I thought why not continue training through winter and once more run the VB Shamrock Half-marathon.  I had a plan.  It was mapped out from Thanksgiving week until March 17, the day of the half-marathon.  It was a beautiful and doable plan–not too hard–and fully manageable with my work schedule. 

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Who’s doing the Steering? 🛻

But as I said, I told God I had this plan, and He had a good ol’ belly laugh at it. I mean He must have enjoyed a real guffaw because very little of “my plan” has gone “as planned.” In fact, I have had to rework and adjust this plan so many times, I have finally, less than three weeks out, metaphorically thrown my hands in the air and surrendered because only Divine Providence knows what will happen on the day of the event. 

Therefore, as I sat at my desk staring at the clouds, the rising mist of the fog, and the interspersed glimpses of blue sky, I reflected on my so-called plan.  The plan included four days per week of running and/or walking, with one longer session per week, completed outside on the weekend, gradually increasing in distance. 

Most of the early weeks into the plan, I was able to complete four days, running outside (translated, not on a treadmill) at least two of those runs.  However, at some point after Christmas, I had to begin making adjustments.  Runs were missed due to conflicts in schedules, and numerous runs were completed inside of a gym on a treadmill due to inclement weather. Plus, I battled several colds and even a random ear infection, which is something I haven’t had since I was a child, so more running time was missed.

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Cloudy thinking 🤔

The thing about running, or any workout journey for that matter, is that it is a microcosm of life.  Lessons learned on the running (walking, hiking, lifting etc) trail are often tangible life lessons.  My plan was those fluffy white clouds in the sky that, in my mind’s eye, I could step comfortably from cloud A to cloud B and so on.  The morning fog, however, was the realities of life. Sometimes my planned path was clear, but most often, there was some sort of, metaphorically speaking, weather event occurring preventing a smooth transition from one step to the next.  

The cerulean sky, to continue the metaphor, was (and is) the Universe, the great I-AM, and that is to whom, in the end, I must surrender.  As Carrie Underwood once sang, I need to let go of the steering wheel because clearly I am not the one in charge despite my illusions of control.

By taking a step back, away from the great “Stephanie-said-so-plan,” I can gain a new perspective.  Firstly, I am grateful for overall good health. Sure, I have had a few minor illnesses this past winter, but nothing life threatening.  

Furthermore, perhaps all those challenges and obstacles were Divine Providence’s way of giving my body the rest I wasn’t giving it. Perhaps, I have been pushing too hard for too long.  Maybe some rest and recovery, like I gave myself after surgery, is what my body needed–especially as a more, ah-hem, older adult.

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Surrender 🙏

Similarly to the way I witnessed the morning surrendering the events of the coming day to the Creator, I too must surrender the events of the future.  What will be, will be.  End of story.  As my grandmother used to say as a preface, “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise,” I will still have the opportunity to travel for a short trip to the shores of Virginia and live to tell another story.  And, where’s the joy in life without stories to tell and lessons to share?  

Surrender the plan

The chipped teapot: Seeing our “imperfections” for what they really are

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“It’s made me realize that imperfect is perfectly comfortable to me. Whether it’s a city or my apartment, I feel most at home when things are somewhat flawed.”–Hoda Kotb

Chipped, but not broken.

I’m a Little TeaPot 🫖

I picked up the teapot.  It had a chip on the top of its deep navy shape. I could feel how simultaneously sad and angry I was.  The chip was my fault.  I had dropped the lid and broken a piece off revealing the original white unglazed pottery underneath.  

Suddenly, the spiral began.  Why am I such a clutz?  How could I be so stupid? What is wrong with me that I can’t simply hold on to a lid in soapy water?  Way to go, Steph.

I am familiar with that inner critical voice demanding so-called, “prefection.”  That voice is full of all of the things I should do, and it also lists all the ways I fail and fall short.  It is the voice that can sometimes make me cry when I sense I have let someone down or dropped the ball on something I “should” have done. 

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coping skills 🥸

In my younger years, I tried a variety of coping mechanisms to quell that demanding, perfectionist voice. I attempted to ignore the inner critic, but until I was wise enough to know the difference, ignoring sometimes led to overlooking those helpful, intuitive signals.  I also tried projecting a big ego full of confidence to hide that voice of doubt–which, I quickly learned, was a sure way to epically fail.  Of course, there were the tried-and-not-so-true methods of numbing that critic with overeating, over drinking, or even overdoing, but that only made me more miserable. 

Listening to that inner critic has also led to procrastination. For example, if I know a specific big job/task needs to be completed, I can become paralyzed from completing it because my inner critic states it must be completed in a certain “perfect” manner, making the task seem more overwhelming than it is. This paralysis can lead to shame, guilt, and self-loathing because it points to “another failure” when left undone. 

Other times, it’s not so much about procrastination as much as it is that I am managing a wide array of interests, so I get side-tracked from one project to work on another. Nonetheless, focusing on those “other interests,” instead of the “one-big-thing,” can also instigate self-criticism because, “Why can’t I be more focused and stick to one thing?” 

Surely, there are others who fight this battle of perfectionism.  Right?  Based upon all of the various titles of best selling books centered around the topic of perfectionism, I certainly must not be alone in my battle.

A bowlful of encourage-mints!

Letting go of the Perfectionism script 📝

However, with age, my inner gaze, like my own vision, has changed. Letting go of perfection has, to a certain degree, been a natural part of the aging process.  Aging, and the life-wisdom that comes with it, empowers me to more closely see the reality of situations. 

For example, while writing this piece, I picked up an individually wrapped mint to pop in my mouth to allow it to slowly dissolve as I write.  Unfortunately, when I picked it up, I dropped the mint on the floor.  My first voice said, “Way to go, dork.  You broke the mint.  Now, you’ll end up crunching it, rather than slowly letting it dissolve.”  Fortunately, my wiser, older voice swiftly pointed out, “Now, you have two mints! Twice the enjoyment!”

Of course, this is a simple scenario, but it leads to my next point.  Learning to let go of the narrative of perfection is difficult, and it is more of a process than a destination.  Here’s the thing though.  My beautiful, albeit chipped, navy tea pot still works.  It still steeps my various teas perfectly, and it pours without spilling a drop. All I have to do is turn the lid, and no one has to see the chip. Thus, learning to turn, or flip, the narrative of that inner critical voice demanding “perfections” is likewise a great tool.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with setting high personal standards, leaving wiggle room for what is truly acceptable, is a much less stressful approach. It also helps deflate the bubble of shame often attached to rigid standards when we allow for a less-stringent approach.  

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Flawless 😎

Another strategy for releasing perfectionism’s grip is to observe that many of our so-called “personal flaws,” when viewed from a different perspective, are actually strengths.  For example, I might leave one task undone for a longer than “it should be” time period, but that is typically because I am pursuing a creative endeavor such as writing, cooking, or even planning how I will teach a concept to my students.  What’s wrong with that?  Like you, I also wear many hats, so why shouldn’t I give myself grace to focus on one task without pressure to do all tasks “now.”

The more we can learn to adapt an attitude of grace and self-acceptance the more likely the tentacles of perfectionism will begin to loosen.  By embracing our many strengths and talents, we can also feel the weight of shame lifting like a dark cloud shattering as sunlight breaks through. For example, in my own life, I am not the early bird at work in the morning, but that’s because I am a morning person.  I spend several hours completing numerous tasks at home before arriving at work, such as writing, exercising, grading papers, and so on.  Therefore, why should I feel ashamed of my productivity?  

Another skill that has also come with age is learning to focus less on so-called mistakes, and instead, making a point to respect the fact that any time I make a mistake, it fosters my own learning. Mistakes are, in reality, a path to learning to do something better and a tool for continuing to hone a skill.  One example of this was when I was adapting an old family recipe for pound cake to a gluten-free variation. I botched that cake twice before finally figuring out the best way to make it.  Even now, I continue to refine and improve not only that recipe, but also my own technique for baking gluten-free. It is through this acceptance and openness to allowing for mistakes that growth can occur.

Flip the narrative, like I flip the lid around on the teapot.

MUlishly imperfect ⭐️ 💫 🌟

In the end, that inner-critic with its attachment to being perfect is misleading and false. One look at nature reveals anomalies, asymmetries, and even accidents are all part of one big beautiful creation. 

Consider the mule.  It is the offspring of male donkey and a female horse.  It’s not a perfect horse, and it’s not a perfect donkey.  Instead, it possesses its own unique imperfect–some might even say, mulish– vibe, and so can we. 

While focusing less on our so-called flaws and more on strengths, leaving wiggle room for plan B (or C and D), and remaining open to the lessons of a mistake, may not lead to perfection, it sure can lead to a much more peaceful, approachable, and manageable way of living. It’s not easy, and it requires patient practice in the pursuit of learning to let go. However, with continued practice, we can begin to let go of that “perfect” narrative and become much more at ease with the “imperfect.”

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Surrender to the challenge and be liberated

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“I’m noticing the difference between surrender and resignation.  One is a true letting go, the other is believing I am powerless.”–Andrea Scher

Balancing Act ⚖️

Like numerous other professions, my job in education brings with it unique challenges each year. It is not just the day-to-day, week-to-week dilemmas, but it’s the balancing act between the demands of work and the demands of life.  Additionally, like many jobs, the demands of work cannot be met within the confines of the scheduled work day.  While the work day may officially end at 3:30, there is no way to complete all the work within those hours. 

Thus, there is that predicament daily, and on weekends, of how to accommodate it all. Work and personal life demands are a jigsaw puzzle in which the pieces don’t always fit together.  If I put a piece into the frame of work, then it seems to take away from the frame of personal life.  Inside my head there is an image of how it should all blend seamlessly into one harmonious picture, but the reality is often an abstract palette of discordant images.

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Solving the Puzzle of Time 🧩

How often do we feel the weight of: how to put the pieces together today?  One of the keys, I’ve discovered, to balancing work and life is to take it one day at a time. To be sure, that sounds cliché.  However, by focusing solely on one day, as part of the whole of the equation, it can often allow me to discern what must be done vs what needs to eventually be done.  Then it is a matter of focusing on one unfolding moment at a time.  If we can choose to surrender to the fact that we are facing challenges that cannot all be completed in one day, we can begin to let go of the attachment to “how it should be” and the picture-perfect image of “what it should look like.” 

  Attaching to that ideal image of “this is when and how it will be” is often the source of suffering and stress.  It is only human nature–especially in the current social media world in which we live–to visualize how “perfect” it will look/feel when we complete X, Y, and Z.  However, most of the time, at least in my experience, life tosses in some sort of unpredicted bollix, and suddenly that flawless finish is unattainable–as if it was ever possible to begin with! 

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The Strength of Surrender 💪

I have found that the notion of “surrender”is often associated with giving up, giving in, or acquiescing to a lower standard, but that is just our ego talking.  Furthermore, surrender is not a resignation either, which can sometimes lead to feelings of bitterness, anger, and resentment because you can’t “have it all” as popular culture and social media would have us believe. Instead, surrendering to the fact that you “can’t do it all” actually takes strength.

Nonetheless, choosing to ignore the mind’s ego can feel vulnerable and scary. It takes a real act of courage to surrender, and let go of our attachments. But, once we decide to release the ego’s messaging, we begin to allow ourselves to be led inwardly by a higher power, our True Source.

The water of this creek winds and bends over its rocky bed demonstrating the difference between ease and easy.

Ease into the challenges one by one 😌

Surrendering lightens our load and allows our day to flow with more ease and much less tension. That is not to say our day will suddenly become easy, there will still be challenges, but we can feel free from the binds of stress that come with ego-driven motivation. When we let go of the ego’s attachments, we are recognizing our true personal worth–we so much more than what we do.  

Ignoring our ego is an act of love and faith, not only in our abilities, but it is also a willingness to recognize that all those perfect images are just that–images, not the reality that social media often leads us to believe. Letting go of that attachment is an act of faith and a willingness to believe that we will be inwardly led by our intuition in harmony with our higher power.  

Surrendering gives us permission to let go of all those perfect images our ego attaches to.  We can begin to recognize that we are safe, despite the ego’s messaging that can falsely have us believing that, if we don’t achieve said-thing by said-time, we are failing.  Instead, surrendering says, we are trusting the way will be provided; and therefore, we can and will choose wisely.  Surrendering allows us the freedom to walk the path of life’s pavestone moments, step-by-step, stone-by-stone, knowing that when the time is right, all will come together as it should.

There are times of the year when even the trees quietly and gently let go of their colorful adornment, demonstrating the art of detaching from ego.

The ARt of Detaching 🍂

It’s about letting go of control. (We never had it to begin with anyway.)  It’s as simple as breathing.  Inhale. Exhale.  One moment at a time.  One step at a time.  One priority at a time. Trusting that just as each breath provides us with life, our path will ultimately be paved in its due time

The power of surrender is not weak as our ego leads us to believe.  Instead, it liberates us to stand in our strength by expelling all the tension, fear, anxiety, stress, and suffering attached to the ego’s. “This is how and when it should be.” It is the difference between closed fists trying to muscle their way through a situation, versus relaxed hands, flexibly handing each moment as it comes.

The energy of surrendering is only a breath away. Inhale energy for life’s next moment. Exhale, and release the tension attached to how it should be.  Surrendering to the moment can really be that easy. It is our ego that makes it so hard.  Inhale. Exhale. Surrender to your inner-knowing. The Breath of Life will provide.  

Mind Over Matter: Mental Strategies to Push Towards Your Movement Goals

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Put all excuses aside and remember this:  You are capable.”–Zig Ziglar

During my Saturday morning run this past week, there were numerous times I wanted to quit. It had taken me nearly two hours to complete, and it had not felt nearly as good as my last run at the exact same distance.  Nonetheless, I kept employing different mental strategies I’ve learned over the years and, ultimately, completed my goal.

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That run got me thinking about the importance of mindset and the mental strategies/techniques we sometimes need to employ to incorporate more movement and exercise into our lives.  Therefore, in this 8th installment of my “Move into Health” series, I will share several research based mental strategies for exercise/movement for those days when we “aren’t feeling it.”  Moreover, many of these tips can be applied to other areas of life, such as tackling difficult tasks.

The mind-body connection is powerful. Whether discussing exercise, or tackling a difficult/challenging project, it is important to recognize the influence of the mind-body connection.  From having a churning stomach in response to an upside routine change, such as shift workers, to coming down with a cold after prolonged exposure to a stressful event, our bodies respond to the changes in our mind.  Therefore, by understanding this connection, we can unleash its potential to positively influence our attitudes and choices, especially with regards to movement goals.

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Be patient; remember the long game, and avoid comparison: As my decades continue to stack, the long-game is most often at the forefront of my thoughts.  By prioritizing the fact that I want to remain injury free, healthy, mentally engaged, and purpose-driven for years to come, I’ve had to slow down, make moderation a priority, and avoid comparisons to my past self, previous workouts, and definitely not to others.  It’s important to be clear on long-term life goals and determine how movement/exercise can benefit that plan.  When we see how exercise and movement can contribute to and enhance our bigger life picture, it provides a bit more motivation to get out there, even when we don’t “feel like it.”

  Let go of attachments, especially to perfection and the all or nothing mindset: Our mind can be a bit of a trickster and convince us that exercise and movement should feel, be, or look a certain way. That’s all nonsense. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel great, but if nothing is hurt or injured, we have to keep going.  Other times, we may have little in the tank or reduced time. Rather than throw in the towel, try another workout or shorten your workout time.  Some form of added movement is always better than nothing!

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Embrace the unknown, including discomfort: Along with letting go of attachments to how exercise/movement should be, it is important to embrace the unknown.  Whether it is going to a new gym, a new exercise class, or walking in a new area, accept that it will feel uncomfortable and new for the first few times.  Likewise, it is important to understand that with muscle growth comes some discomfort, including sore muscles.  This is where it is important to discern the good pain from the “I-might-be injured” pain.  Most of our pain is the good kind, but we do need to pay attention to unusual or persistent pain.

Muscle has memory:  The more we exercise/move, the fitter we become, and the “easier” it is for the body to move.  This is important for those of us who are not “naturally” gifted athletes, or no longer spring chicks for that matter!  As our fitness levels increase, our likewise energy increases, making even everyday movement tasks feel easier.  Now that’s motivating!

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Break “large” workouts into smaller tasks and start easy: When I am faced with a long run, I think about it in chunks, and I start slowly with a walk to build success.  With each successfully completed chunk, I mentally celebrate, “One-third down, only two-thirds left to go!”  I continue in this manner until I attain my goal mileage.  Additionally, I’ve applied this mindset across a multitude of workouts and projects unrelated to exercise.  

Visualize the feeling of success that comes with finishing, and don’t underestimate the potency of a smile:  This is a tool I employ before and during a workout.  I think about how good it will feel to know I accomplished whatever it is I set out to do.  By focusing on that feeling, I automatically smile.  Smiling starts a chain reaction of positive feelings coursing throughout my body, but especially my brain.  It is those good vibes that keep me going, and they can keep you going too!

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Adapt a “no-fail” mindset.  Since we do have that mind-body connection, we can harness the power of words to move our bodies. Create a mantra, or saying, for when your workout or movement gets tough.  I often talk to myself during, especially hard workouts.  I’ll use phrases like, “You can do this, Steph.”  “You’ve got this, Steph.” Other times, I use one word, such as, “Fortitude,” “Perseverance,” and “Tenacity,” which are a few of my favorites.  The key is finding the motivating word(s) that strengthen your resolve.

Power up with music and songs: Music doesn’t motivate everyone, but it certainly does a large number of us.  The right playlist can motivate and move you into action.  

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Create a reward system: I call it the if-then principal.  If you do this, then you get to do this. Have some sort of reward system in place for yourself, and focus on it during those challenging workouts.

Have a purpose for your run:  I often have a prayer/meditation that I repeatedly say.  Other times, I run in honor of a veteran (Team Red White & Blue and Wear Blue) by writing the name of a veteran on my hand, or creating a list of several vets and tucking the list into a tiny pocket in my tights.  The point is that by adding a higher purpose to my workout, I attach greater meaning to a workout that increases my motivation.

Everyday may not offer ideal situations for movement; therefore, having a toolkit of mental “hacks” can help us push past our own resistance and/or excuses.  Exercise not only works only our muscles, but also our mental strength and, ultimately, our overall well-being. Combining the power of the mind-body connection, especially over time, improves both our physical well being and creates a more disciplined and determined mind.  So grab your toolbelt, and learn to attach and switch out any of these various tools to motivate you to move into health, so you never have a reason to give up.

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Practical and mindful tips for navigating life’s storms

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Start where you are.  Do what you can. Use what you have.”–Arthur Ashe

There are times I feel as if I can’t think straight.  My thoughts are scattered like fall leaves, colorful shapes of ideas caught in the whirlwind of my mind. I have goals and lists of things to-do for school (I’m an educator), writing, home, family/friends, self, and so on . . . . 

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For example, I may begin my day feeling energized, fully focused, and operating in a flow state, moving from goal A to goal B.  Remaining clear-headed, I move on to task C, when, unexpectedly, an email or text will be sent my way, creating an impending deadline for another task that was not on my radar for the day. 

Meanwhile, another challenge develops, and another issue needs addressed, and the wires in my mind that were moving linearly, now have to bend, zig, and zag.  When time and circumstance finally permits me to circle back to task C, my thoughts are scattered as I wonder how I will ever make it through the day, much less the week.

 Too much to do, too many responsibilities/obligations, and numerous distractions, for many of us.  Is it any wonder we often feel scattered, overwhelmed, and/or agitated/anxious with greater frequency in a culture that fosters and rewards busyness.  Therefore, if hiring a personal assistant isn’t anywhere on the horizon or budget, what are some practical and more mindful techniques mere mortals can practice when feelings of overwhelm threaten to take our minds away.

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Practically speaking, there are organizational strategies.

  • Long list:  I like to start my week with a long list, or a brain dump, of all the things on my mind, mostly for the upcoming week, but some items are more long term.  I typically do this on Sunday or Monday.  I am old school, so I prefer handwriting, but it really doesn’t matter.  The point is to get all my deadlines, worries, ideas, goals visually listed and out of my jumbled mind.  I may add to this list throughout the week as various items pop-up.
  • Short list: From my long list, each day, I try to prioritize 2-4 items to complete and mark off my long list. I typically write these on a post-it note for the day or add it to my reminders app. 
  • Break down big tasks into smaller, more manageable steps: For example, in my world, this may look like setting the goal of grading one class’s (or ½ half of a class’s) essays each day, with the goal of finishing that grade level by week’s end.  I apply this to all other larger/bigger projects, setting mini-goals for each larger job.
  • Create rituals/routines:  For certain tasks, I create rituals/routines. I set aside specific time periods/days for completing certain tasks.  For example, laundry is typically started on Saturday and finished on Sunday.  Food preparation for the week is Sunday afternoon. Early mornings on Saturday and Sunday are set aside for writing and/or school tasks, with a few hours added in the afternoons of both days, if time allows. 
  • Set boundaries on email, texts, and social media: These are rabbit–holes of distractibility if I am not careful, especially when working.  Therefore, I check email at certain times of the day, and that is it.  If I am grading/writing or completing any other type of work that requires my full focus, the phone is face down, silenced, and I set a 50-minute timer with an allowance for a 10-minute movement break  and text check each hour.  
  • But, be flexible: All of these strategies may work, but–and there is always a ‘but’ in life–we have to be ready to bend with life and be flexible enough to throw lists and plans out the door as needed.  Which is why we need mindful strategies . . .
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When life gets in the way, all the best laid plans go out the door, and this is when overwhelming feelings can occur.  Therefore, we need more than neck-up strategies; we also need strategies that speak to and soothe the heart and soul.

  • Breathe, and try not to panic: Take several deep belly breaths and acknowledge that you feel overwhelmed without judgment.  I know this isn’t easy, but be gentle with yourself. Your work may not be coming together as you originally envisioned it or within a time frame you had hoped, but you’ve completed other challenges before, you are trustworthy and committed; therefore, trust that you will get it completed.
  • Take a break: If time allows, take a short break. Consider walking away for a moment, even if only for the time it takes to walk to the restroom and grab a drink of water. If you can’t walk away, look away from the work for a moment.  Close your eyes for a breathing break, focus on an image, look out the window if you have one, pause for a prayer–whatever works to SLOW down your breathing, distract your mind, and reduce the stormy feelings inside. 
  • Switch gears to another job.  This may mean completing a short task that requires little, to no, brain power; or, it may mean jumping ahead to another item on your list and working on it for a few minutes.  The point is to gain a sense of accomplishment to refresh your spirit and put you into a more positive mindset.
  • Be your own cheerleader:  Offer yourself encouragement and supportive thoughts.  “You’re doing great.”  “Two steps completed; you’re on a roll.”  “Two phone calls down.  Only three more to go; you’re making progress.” 
  • Make peace with the storm: Work-life balance is fluid.  Sometimes life is as calm as a cloudless June day; and other times, it is like a room full of toddlers who haven’t had their naps, and they all have colds–you don’t know which nose to wipe first or which kid to attempt to calm because they are all crying.  
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Accepting that life is messy, imperfect, and sometimes turbulent is not easy, but resisting this fact, only makes it more difficult. Just as the toddler teacher cannot leave the classroom of crying kids, neither can we leave the storms of life.

In the end, making peace with our sometimes traffic-jammed brains doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be organized or equipped with strategies, it merely means we accept the process of working through the challenges of life. It’s a commitment to the implementation of daily strategies, mindful habits, and a healthy dose of gentleness in order to recover some semblance of clarity when the chaos of life occurs.

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