Fighting Reflections

A cardinal, a window, and a lesson in perception

🐦‍🔥The Cardinal Is Back

“Guess who’s back?”

My husband’s message came through my AirPods as I ran early one Saturday morning in May. Then, in quick succession, two more messages followed. One was an image of a cardinal in mid-flight, attacking a window that I would later view on my phone. The other said, “It’s our crazy cardinal friend from last year who won’t stop banging the window. Tippi (our cat) is going CRAZY!”

Ten or so minutes later . . . “OMG! The Boy (our neighbor’s outdoor cat) just jumped as high as the window and nearly caught the bird. Feathers are flying!”

Thus began the return of our daily sound effects. Beginning at first light and continuing off and on throughout the day until full dark falls, we hear the thuds, the whams, and the kerthuds of the colorful, but crazed, cardinal attacking either the bay window or the large picture window at the front of our house. 

I added window clings “guaranteed to prevent even the most aggressive birds” from attacking the windows, but the sounds and the grotesque bird droppings that demand frequent cleaning tell a different story. Watching the cardinal attack from the outside while my 18-year-old cat keeps a vigilant watch—as though her aging joints were a force to be reckoned with—I frequently find myself shaking my head, wondering what on earth the bird thinks he is accomplishing other than a headache. 

From a biological point of view, I get the cardinal’s motivation. He’s naturally driven to fiercely protect his mating and nesting territory during this time of year. When he catches a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the window, he thinks another male is encroaching on his territory. So he attacks by charging and pecking the glass. Then, when he sees his own aggressive movements, he thinks the “intruder” is attacking back. This causes the cardinal to get even angrier and more aggressive, perpetuating the endless cycle of attacks.

The Problem Isn’t His Determination

 I admire the bird’s determination. The problem is not his determination; it is his perception. He isn’t fighting another bird. He’s fighting himself. 

🪟When We Keep Hitting the Glass

How often are we like the determined cardinal? How often do we keep mulling over and returning to the same argument, the same disappointment, the same heartache, the same resentment, and so on? How many times have we tried to change someone who is not yet ready to change? Yet our perception and determination trick our minds—and hearts—into thinking we can. 

We convince ourselves that “If I explain it this way, one more time, then they will finally respond this way.” 

“If only I try harder, then this will finally happen.”

“If only I push, pull, arrange, help . . . just a little bit more, then this will all fall into place.”

And yet, nothing changes. Like the cardinal, we keep hitting the glass. We may have warnings and interruptions that should cause us to reconsider—much like The Boy tried—but our misguided perception has convinced us otherwise.

The cardinal has lost countless feathers. His droppings, no doubt increased by his own anxiety, are piling up alongside those feathers for me to clean up. The bird spends untold energy defending itself from an enemy that isn’t there.

Humans, myself included, do a very similar thing. We spend untold amounts of emotional and mental energy, lose precious time, and sacrifice our peace trying to defeat “something” that may only exist in our minds due to our perceptions. Sometimes the “enemy” is not another person, as we may think. Sometimes the so-called battle is with ourselves, our assumptions, our fears, or even our need to be right. The toll is real. The bruises are real, even when the battle is not.

🧐Seeing More Clearly

The cardinal lacks the power to recognize his own reflection. Humans can. We have the power to pause and ask: “What if my perception is off?” or “What if my focus is fuzzy and I am not seeing correctly as a result?” 

This may mean stepping back in order to stop “banging our heads,” as it were. It may mean taking another look and examining the situation with a fresh perspective in order to identify what is really there.

I am reminded of my most recent eye exam.  “Do you prefer A or B? Is C clearer than B? What about D?” the doctor asked as she adjusted the lenses.

The doctor went from one eye to the other until finally she revealed the view with both eyes properly adjusted. What a difference in clarity that made when I was asked to read that bottom row for the third time.

Wham! I hear the cardinal as I write this. Kerthud! Ugh, that flash of red hurts my head in sympathy for this poor bird. His endless resolve to keep fighting causes me to feel tired for him. 

Every morning, since that first Saturday in late May, Mr. Cardinal is back, convinced that his rival still exists. I watch him and wonder. How many of my own battles have looked exactly the same? How many times have I mistaken my own reflection for a rival, misperceived the reality of a situation, or spent so much energy fighting glass?

The cardinal has become a daily reminder that sometimes the most important change is not changing what stands before us, but changing the lens through which we view it. 

Surrender to the challenge and be liberated

“I’m noticing the difference between surrender and resignation.  One is a true letting go, the other is believing I am powerless.”–Andrea Scher

Balancing Act ⚖️

Like numerous other professions, my job in education brings with it unique challenges each year. It is not just the day-to-day, week-to-week dilemmas, but it’s the balancing act between the demands of work and the demands of life.  Additionally, like many jobs, the demands of work cannot be met within the confines of the scheduled work day.  While the work day may officially end at 3:30, there is no way to complete all the work within those hours. 

Thus, there is that predicament daily, and on weekends, of how to accommodate it all. Work and personal life demands are a jigsaw puzzle in which the pieces don’t always fit together.  If I put a piece into the frame of work, then it seems to take away from the frame of personal life.  Inside my head there is an image of how it should all blend seamlessly into one harmonious picture, but the reality is often an abstract palette of discordant images.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Solving the Puzzle of Time 🧩

How often do we feel the weight of: how to put the pieces together today?  One of the keys, I’ve discovered, to balancing work and life is to take it one day at a time. To be sure, that sounds cliché.  However, by focusing solely on one day, as part of the whole of the equation, it can often allow me to discern what must be done vs what needs to eventually be done.  Then it is a matter of focusing on one unfolding moment at a time.  If we can choose to surrender to the fact that we are facing challenges that cannot all be completed in one day, we can begin to let go of the attachment to “how it should be” and the picture-perfect image of “what it should look like.” 

  Attaching to that ideal image of “this is when and how it will be” is often the source of suffering and stress.  It is only human nature–especially in the current social media world in which we live–to visualize how “perfect” it will look/feel when we complete X, Y, and Z.  However, most of the time, at least in my experience, life tosses in some sort of unpredicted bollix, and suddenly that flawless finish is unattainable–as if it was ever possible to begin with! 

Photo by Elina Fairytale on Pexels.com

The Strength of Surrender 💪

I have found that the notion of “surrender”is often associated with giving up, giving in, or acquiescing to a lower standard, but that is just our ego talking.  Furthermore, surrender is not a resignation either, which can sometimes lead to feelings of bitterness, anger, and resentment because you can’t “have it all” as popular culture and social media would have us believe. Instead, surrendering to the fact that you “can’t do it all” actually takes strength.

Nonetheless, choosing to ignore the mind’s ego can feel vulnerable and scary. It takes a real act of courage to surrender, and let go of our attachments. But, once we decide to release the ego’s messaging, we begin to allow ourselves to be led inwardly by a higher power, our True Source.

The water of this creek winds and bends over its rocky bed demonstrating the difference between ease and easy.

Ease into the challenges one by one 😌

Surrendering lightens our load and allows our day to flow with more ease and much less tension. That is not to say our day will suddenly become easy, there will still be challenges, but we can feel free from the binds of stress that come with ego-driven motivation. When we let go of the ego’s attachments, we are recognizing our true personal worth–we so much more than what we do.  

Ignoring our ego is an act of love and faith, not only in our abilities, but it is also a willingness to recognize that all those perfect images are just that–images, not the reality that social media often leads us to believe. Letting go of that attachment is an act of faith and a willingness to believe that we will be inwardly led by our intuition in harmony with our higher power.  

Surrendering gives us permission to let go of all those perfect images our ego attaches to.  We can begin to recognize that we are safe, despite the ego’s messaging that can falsely have us believing that, if we don’t achieve said-thing by said-time, we are failing.  Instead, surrendering says, we are trusting the way will be provided; and therefore, we can and will choose wisely.  Surrendering allows us the freedom to walk the path of life’s pavestone moments, step-by-step, stone-by-stone, knowing that when the time is right, all will come together as it should.

There are times of the year when even the trees quietly and gently let go of their colorful adornment, demonstrating the art of detaching from ego.

The ARt of Detaching 🍂

It’s about letting go of control. (We never had it to begin with anyway.)  It’s as simple as breathing.  Inhale. Exhale.  One moment at a time.  One step at a time.  One priority at a time. Trusting that just as each breath provides us with life, our path will ultimately be paved in its due time

The power of surrender is not weak as our ego leads us to believe.  Instead, it liberates us to stand in our strength by expelling all the tension, fear, anxiety, stress, and suffering attached to the ego’s. “This is how and when it should be.” It is the difference between closed fists trying to muscle their way through a situation, versus relaxed hands, flexibly handing each moment as it comes.

The energy of surrendering is only a breath away. Inhale energy for life’s next moment. Exhale, and release the tension attached to how it should be.  Surrendering to the moment can really be that easy. It is our ego that makes it so hard.  Inhale. Exhale. Surrender to your inner-knowing. The Breath of Life will provide.