Running Toward Hope: A Marathon of Movement and Love

Every run is a work of art, a drawing on each day’s canvas. Some runs are shouts and some runs are whispers. Some runs are eulogies and others celebrations.”—Dagny Scott Barrios

A group of three people, including a man in a green hoodie, a woman in a bright orange top with a running bib, and a woman in a gray sweater, gather smiling at a running event in an outdoor setting with other runners in the background.
Just before the start of the marathon I took time to get a hug from my two biggest supporters throughout the training process: my husband, L, and my daughter, R.

A Morning of Reflection and Gratitude 🌅

A light mist fell as an overcast gray morning began to chase away the night. I stood quietly in a throng of animated runners, taking deep breaths as reflection and gratitude washed over me. Months of preparation had led to this moment, and I felt thankful not only for my health but for the loving support that carried me here—to this celebration of movement, resilience, and connection.

Running as an Act of Hope ✨

It had been ten years since I last pinned on a bib for this distance, and my body hummed with anticipation, hope, and belief—the belief that movement is for everyone at every age, and that it is, in itself, an act of hope. I was about to embark on an emotional 26.2-mile trail of faith that became more about the people who supported me than the miles themselves.

Discovering Joy in Gentle Movement 😄

I came to running later in life, and it wasn’t easy at first. Only when I learned to approach running gently—to let go of preconceived (and societal) notions of what running “should” be—did I discover paths full of freedom, clarity, and renewal. Movement, whether running, walking, dancing, or stretching, benefits body, mind, and spirit. It brings a sense of structure to an often chaotic world and offers a feeling of accomplishment—if nothing else goes right in a day, at least I moved my body. Movement brings us alive to ourselves, our spirit, and, in turn, to the world around us.

The joy, I’ve learned, is in the doing—not in attaching to a pace, distance, or goal. Those things can be part of the experience, but they aren’t required.

A man and a woman embrace warmly in a crowded setting, both smiling in a moment of connection before a marathon.
Maddie’s, my daughter, boyfriend, Connor, flew all the way from Austin, TX to be part of this event. Together, with Maddie, he helped plan the marathon surprise of a lifetime!

Redefining What It Means to Age 🧓

As I neared my 60th birthday, I began to notice messaging that framed this decade as one of limitation. I decided instead to flip the narrative and celebrate the 60s as a decade of possibilities. Why not run into this new decade the way I ran into my 50s—with eyes and arms wide to adventure?

Training with Gentleness and Grace 😌

Since I was already running regularly, I committed to training for a marathon, but this time with gentleness. Instead of a traditional four-month build-up, I created a ten-month plan that encouraged patience, routine, and presence. Twice-weekly strength training and yoga joined the schedule, as did listening to my body and using the run-walk-run method as needed. I also focused on proper hydration and fueling before, during, and after runs. Most of all, my husband and daughter supported me from the very beginning—their quiet, everyday encouragement becoming a steady foundation of strength.

A woman running on a street wearing a bright pink long-sleeve top, black leggings, and a cap, displaying a race number on her waist.
Gentleness was a large part of the 10-month training block that led to this moment of hope and celebration.

Adapting Through Life’s Curveballs 😰

Training for a marathon brings rhythm and structure to daily life—the early morning runs, the long weekend miles that lengthen gradually, and the sweet evening stretches after dinner. But life, of course, has its curveballs: weather shifts, fatigue, scheduling conflicts, unexpected events, and bouts of self-doubt. With age, though, I’ve learned to adapt rather than resist these realities, co-creating a practical, flexible approach to progress.

As my weekend long runs grew longer, my husband and daughter often appeared—driving by, stopping to cheer, or jogging beside me for a short distance. These small bursts of love in action fueled my heart and kept me going. Training, I realized, was less about mileage and more about cultivating fortitude, flexibility, and gratitude—along with a dash of fierceness—all essential life skills carried from the road.

A group of enthusiastic spectators cheer on runners during a marathon, surrounded by autumn foliage and a partly cloudy sky.
Maddie, and my husband, John, often showed up during the last few miles of my Saturday long runs to cheer me on as Maddie is seen here doing during the actual event itself.

Race Day: A Celebration of Love 💖

As the marathon began, the city of Huntington vibrant in energy, rebelling against the lackluster sky. Rhythmic footfalls and nervous chatter surrounded me as runners jostled for position. Warmly dressed spectators cheered, waving handmade signs against a backdrop of burnished orange, crimson, and yellow autumn trees. Little did I know that my daughter had turned this event into an outpouring of love.

Surprises Along the Course 🫢

At the start, my husband, daughter, and her boyfriend—who had flown in from Texas to surprise me—stood cheering. But that was only the beginning. Every few miles along the route, my daughter had arranged for friends, family, and coworkers to appear, waving signs and calling my name. I didn’t realize the scope of her plan until near the end, but each familiar face filled me with renewed energy, gratitude, and joy.

A female runner in a bright pink shirt crosses a street marked by traffic cones, while a supporter holds a sign nearby in a lively downtown setting.
The look of complete surprise when I see my sister, Traci, and her husband, David, around the 19-20 mile mark of the marathon. I had no idea they would show up along the route!
Two women running together on a city street during a marathon, with one holding a sign. They are surrounded by a lively atmosphere and shops in the background.
Of course, I had to veer off the path to give her hug, which helped uplift me over the next few miles.

Crossing the Finish Line 🏁

As I turned toward the final quarter mile, a group of race volunteers began singing “Happy Birthday” while my daughter’s boyfriend joined for a short burst of encouragement. My husband stood outside the stadium offering final words of encouragement, and my daughter met me at the bottom of the stadium ramp to run beside me as I approached the finish line. I wasn’t just completing a marathon; I was receiving the best birthday gift—a living reminder of love: a convergence of community, family, and friendship. It was a story of hope, purpose, generosity, and perseverance—the joy and power of a shared journey.

Two volunteers wearing bright reflective vests stand by a crosswalk in a park-like setting with blooming flowers and trees. In the background, a pathway leads towards a building under a cloudy sky.
This was the point, less than a quarter mile to go, when a group of race volunteers, led by an unknown female spectator and Conner, joined in to sing “Happy Birthday” to me as approached and rounded the corner to the finish line.

The Marathon as a Metaphor for Life 🪞

This journey mirrors life: we move forward by faith and grace, one step at a time, through both joy and challenge, supported by others who believe in us. That’s the power of movement—it connects us to our bodies, to others, and to something larger than ourselves. Choosing to move, to train, to keep going even when the path feels long, is an affirmation that with faith, growth and renewal are always possible—at any age.

Movement as a Lifelong Invitation 💌

Movement can take many forms: walking, stretching, dancing, or choosing to train for something big. The point is to move with intention and persistence, to embrace your own journey, and not attach to societal and social media messaging. Just move—and let movement open the door to new possibilities, both inner and outer.

A runner crosses the finish line at a sports stadium, with spectators in the stands and a clear blue sky overhead.
Maddie runs alongside me for the last few feet, just as she did in 2015, to encourage across the finish line. Once I was close to the finish line, she dropped back behind the rope to let me finish alone. However, I really wasn’t alone. I was surrounded by a giant embrace of joy, hope, and love of family, friends, and community!!

The Joy Continues ☺️

The rhythm of footsteps, the smiles for miles, and the faces of loved ones along the route are forever imprinted in my heart—all reminders that every step matters. The marathon finish line was crossed, but the renewed sense of possibility and joy continues. Whatever your pace or path, keep moving forward—heart, mind, and spirit. You never know what acts of hope and love may be waiting for you along life’s path.

A group of runners participating in a marathon on an overcast morning, with diverse individuals wearing colorful athletic clothing and cheerful expressions.
The joy, and the journey of love and hope, continues . . .

A Grateful Heart 💜

P.S. Thank you to the countless and nameless MUM volunteers who invested hours of time to ensure the safety and success of runners, walkers, and those beloved spectators. And, an extra special heartfelt thank you to my friends and family who celebrated this milestone with me. And to Maddie and John, I love you to the moon and back.

A group of three smiling individuals taking a selfie on a subway or train, with a map visible in the background.
I wonder where the next path of adventure will lead?
An assortment of hydration and energy products for runners, including electrolyte tablets and energy gels, arranged on a wooden surface.
Shout out to Precision Fuel and Hydration for the support during this training journey! I learned a lot from your team.

Running with Purpose: The Charleston Distance Classic and My Marathon Journey

The West Virginia State Capitol building with a golden dome, surrounded by trees and a pastel sky at dawn.
The CDC starts in front of the state capitol of WV.

A Quote to Carry Me to the Start

Dean Karnazes is often credited with saying, “Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up.” His words echoed in my mind while I was experiencing a case of collywobbles as my family and I drove to Charleston, WV, in the predawn hours of Labor Day weekend. Only weeks earlier, I had decided I had built enough base fitness to run the Charleston Distance Classic (CDC), “America’s 15-miler.”

A joyful runner in a race, wearing a white shirt with a 13.1 badge and black shorts, excitedly posing with a water bottle while making a peace sign.
Ready to run the CDC!

Returning to the Classic After Ten Years

It had been more than ten years since I last ran it. In my previous two runs of the CDC, the weather was formidable, with the typical August heat wave bringing high heat and humidity. In fact, it wasn’t unusual to see runners collapse on the course—or cross the finish line only to collapse into the arms of medics from heat exhaustion.

Two women pose together smiling in front of a large government building with a golden dome, one wearing a race bib and athletic attire while the other is in casual sportswear.
My daughter was texting me messages of support throughout the race, so Siri could read them to me in my ear as I ran.

How Running Has Changed for Me

Life was different ten years ago. Besides being younger, I was fairly new to running and relied heavily on veteran runners for guidance. On one hand, I was fortunate to have others with whom to train; on the other hand, I didn’t yet have the aerobic base they had built over years. Plus, when I started running, I gave up strength and flexibility exercises, which I now know would have helped me. Instead, I focused on keeping up with others and hitting the weekly mileage goals.

Runner stands on a swing-shaped structure in front of the West Virginia State Capitol, smiling and wearing a race bib, under a clear sky.
Ready to swing into action.

Building Balance and Training for a MarathoN

Over the past decade, I’ve taken breaks from running—first from burnout, when I missed other forms of exercise. I rotated through strength training, yoga, walking, and cycling, always circling back to running. The pandemic brought running back to the forefront, as gyms and studios were closed.

Since then—and one major surgery later—I’ve learned to build a more balanced approach to exercise that includes a wide array of modalities, running among them. I exercise now for the joy of movement, as well as overall wellness. Still, I enjoy the discipline of a challenge. This year, in honor of another decade milestone, I’m training for the Marshall University Marathon (MUM)—the full 26.2 miles. Rather than follow a standard 16-week plan, I began in January, gradually building my aerobic base.

Runners lined up at the starting line of a race on a road, with traffic lights and spectators in the background.
The starting line for the CDC.

A Perfect Day to Race

It was this extended training that gave me confidence to run the CDC again. In addition, the weather worked in my favor. Temperatures were in the 50s when the race began in front of the state capitol. Running along the Kanawha River in the first mile, runners quickly spread out as paces varied.

View of a bridge with steel beams and a roadway, featuring a few pedestrians in the distance.
The South Side bridge, which runners crossed twice–near mile 3 and again at mile 8.

“Capital Hill PUnishment” and the Course Challenge

Before long, we crossed the South Side Bridge and began the long trudge up Corridor G, aptly nicknamed “Capital Hill Punishment”—two miles of climbing. As if that weren’t enough, the course then wound through three hilly miles of Charleston’s South Hills neighborhoods. By the time we returned to the South Side Bridge, eight brutal miles were behind us. The final seven were mostly flat, except for one last incline near the end—just when our legs were good and toasted.

My Cheer Squad: John and Maddie

The CDC is a great spectator race, and I was lucky to have my husband, John, and daughter, Maddie, there. They were tireless cheerleaders, walking all over Charleston to encourage me. At the start, Maddie urged me on with excitement. At mile eight, as I crossed the South Side Bridge for the second time, she even ran alongside me for a short stretch, offering encouragement.

Between miles 11 and 12, they found me again, cheering and taking my empty handheld water bottle—by then more of an annoyance than a help. At Laidley Field, Maddie’s voice carried as soon as I stepped onto the track, her shouts of encouragement giving me the final push.

A person jogging on a city street with a garbage truck parked nearby and a multi-story building in the background.
This was mile 8. Afterwards, there was mostly flat course, EXCEPT for a last incline during the very last mile before the finish line. UGH!

Lessons from the Endless Last Mile

Honestly, that last mile seemed endless, and I learned a powerful lesson: even the final mile is still a mile long. My mental discipline slipped, and the fortitude that carried me there begged for rest. I grew whiny and irritable, which only amplified the aches and pains I had managed to ignore until then. It reminded me of my reaction in the last mile of a half marathon I ran this past spring in Asheville, NC.

Scenic view of a riverbank with lush greenery, walking path, and a bridge in the distance under a clear blue sky.
The beautiful Kanawha River that flows through Charleston, WV.

Strengthening My Fortitude

That last mile taught me what I must carry into the last weeks of marathon training: when the long runs get longest, I need to focus on strengthening my fortitude—especially at the very end. This, for me, is the hardest part. I try to follow the advice of Olympian Jeff Galloway (who is also credited with establishing the “Run-Walk-Run” method) to smile at each mile marker—since smiling releases those feel-good chemicals and helps relax the body. He also suggests repeating a mantra or power word. Perhaps I need to lean into this more.

Remembering My “Why”

I also need to remind myself of my “why” when the going gets tough. With the MUM, I hope to raise awareness for Branches Domestic Violence Shelter. Branches provides emergency shelter, legal assistance, counseling, case management, and even meal delivery for domestic violence survivors. Their work saves lives. If my miles can help encourage even a few people to support them, that will mean as much to me as crossing the finish line.

A smiling woman holding a medal, wearing athletic clothing, stands next to a post in a race finish area, with a crowd and tents in the background.
Feeling so grateful for my family, love, and support at the end of the CDC.

Running Differently, Running with Gratitude

Ten years later, I run differently. I take walk breaks when needed, and I’m grateful to still have my health. Running gives me energy, provides structure, and fills me with joy and purpose. Not every run is great, but each mile contributes to my community by keeping me connected to local races and to my own mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Running also pulls me outdoors, connecting me with the Creator and with the delight of each season.

Never Give Up—In Running or in Life

Running the CDC reinforced the lesson of never giving up. I may be entering a new decade, but that doesn’t mean I have to give up striving for new goals—even if it means crawling to achieve them. Perhaps I’ll see you at the MUM. If not, I hope you’ll create your own journey. Either way, I invite you to celebrate with me—by supporting Branches or by committing to your own goal. Adjust as you must, but never give up. Step by step, with fortitude, tenacity, and a few deep breaths, you can do it.

A running event starting line with an inflatable arch labeled 'Appalachian Timing Group' on a red track, set against a clear blue sky and distant hills.
Never give up! You can cross whatever finish line in life you need to cross!

Embracing Limitations: Lessons from the Asheville Half Marathon

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”–Prayer for serenity

The Blue Ridge Mountains outside of Asheville, NC.

“the mountains are Calling . . .” ⛰️

I had been training for months, despite the challenges winter threw at me. Cold? I can handle it. Snow? I can run in it. Gusty wind? I can run that too. However, after my husband, John, and I crested hill after hill making our way into Asheville, North Carolina, I knew the town’s half marathon would offer a whole new level of challenge. 

To be clear, participating in the Asheville Half Marathon was an insignificant hurdle compared to what the people in Asheville, and all of the other residents of the surrounding areas/towns along US 23, have been facing as they deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Helene.

Driving along US 23, John, and I were able to witness that six months after Hurricane Helene angrily chewed through a large portion of the western Appalachian region, the recovery is still ongoing. However, the willful, and not-to-be-deterred, spirit of the residents was unmistakable. 

Rooftop view from Asheville of surrounding Blue Ridge Mountains.

A Tale of Two Sisters 👧 👧

This past fall, not long after Helene hit, the high school in which John and I work, welcomed two sisters into the student body.  They were from the Asheville area and were staying with relatives while their parents and older brother dealt with the devastation and destruction back home.

The girls were engaging and well-poised, especially considering their circumstances. Over the course of a couple months, I got to know them–not well due to the short duration of their stay–but well enough to swap personal stories from time to time. 

When they learned that like their dad, I often trained for half marathons, they immediately invited me to run the Asheville Half Marathon in March. They explained that by the time spring rolled around, the community would not be fully recovered, but the local economy would need the boost that runners and the accompanying spectators could bring. 

“You should definitely come, Ms. Hill.  You’d like the people of Asheville, especially the running community.” 

Once Asheville High School opened, the girls returned back home. And though I haven’t heard from them since, they planted a seed that grew into a shoot of curiosity. 

Runners were asked to sign the board stating why they ran.

Sign me up! 📝

Around Christmas, I checked the Asheville Marathon/Half Marathon website, and the powerful and persuasive prose describing the event increased my interest. The website’s editors artfully articulated the community’s belief in the significance of the annual running event. They stated the course’s route would not be “pristine or predictable.” Therefore, the event was for those who “thrive on resilience.” However, the line that sealed the deal stated, “If you’re ready to run in the face of adversity and be a part of Asheville’s comeback story, we can’t wait to see you on the start line!” 

John and I at gathering with other runners and spectators at the starting line before the race began.

Ready, set, Go! 🏁

Soon enough, on a chilly, dark March morning, I waited at the starting line with approximately 2,200 runners from 40 states and three countries who also heeded the call to help support Asheville, according to The Weather Channel. The positive vibe was palpable as runners mingled with spectators. Nonetheless, I was feeling a bit nervous as I recalled the half-marathon route’s elevation gain was nearly 800 feet, and its elevation loss was over 900.  

And, it was hilly.  From start to finish, there were no flat stretches. In the beginning, I read spectator signs claiming, “It’s all downhill from here,” with hope. It didn’t take long to realize those signs lied!  Even the finish line required running uphill, but I am “running” ahead of myself.

Running is a metaphor for living life, and it is always whispering (or sometimes shouting, as this event seemed to do) lessons to those of us willing to listen. Accepting limitations–was the lesson those relentless hills of Asheville taught me. Which makes sense since this is what many of the residents of Asheville and the western Appalachian area had to do during, and now after, the storm–accept and deal with limitations. 

Whether literal or metaphorical, storms of life cause us to suffer. As I repeatedly tried to power through those uphills during the first half, my ego kept telling me to push harder, creating suffering. However, as a late-in-life runner lacking inherent running talent, the reality is that race events for me are more about creating motivation and structure to consistently get me out the door to exercise. At the end of the day, I am not about to set any records; I am not even close to winning my age group, so why was I pushing so hard?

And so, it was on a hill, not long after milepost seven, that I decided to accept my limitations. Sure, I had trained on hills at home, but nothing like this. Why not power walk up the rest of the hills, and then run the downhill portions?

Asheville taught me to accept my limitations.

There is a newfound freedom in accepting one’s limitations 🏃‍♀️

Once I accepted my limitations, there was freedom. I had a new way of being present with the race challenges as they unfolded. This acceptance gave me permission to slow down, take in the sites, and feel a sense of gratitude for my health and ability to make this trip. 

Additionally, by walking the hills, I had more energy to offer encouragement to fellow runners I encountered who also seemed to be struggling. (After all, I run at the back of the pack, where we could all benefit from a little encouragement.) Furthermore, I was also able to offer thanks to the spectators who manned drink stations, rang cowbells, or waved motivating signs with clever phrases such as, “Touch here for power,” “You’re stronger than any storm,” or “You’re running better than our government.” 

By the time I crossed the uphill finish line, tears filled my eyes as I raised my hands in the air.  No, I wasn’t celebrating a personal record, but instead, I was able to celebrate that I crossed the finish line with grace, humility, and a lesson learned. 

The AVL finish line of through which I would later cross humbled, and grateful, by another lesson running once more provided me.

The lesson? Transforming suffering can only occur if we are willing to be with it and accept the limitations it creates. Accepting limitations can be transformatively freeing, allowing us to lean into newly created possibilities we may not have been able to previously envision. I am not saying that accepting our limitations is not easy. However, once we let go of ego and embrace humility, it is possible to embrace the freedom that comes with focusing on what we CAN do.

Thank you , Asheville! I walk away from the finish line with grateful heart and a lesson learned. Furthermore, thank you, Hannah and Allison! I wish your family the best! 💜

Anyone can complete a half-marathon: Tips to help you achieve this goal

Even when you have gone as far as you can, and everything hurts, and you are staring at a specter of self-doubt, you can find a bit more strength deep inside you, if you look closely enough.”–Hal Higdon

Virginia Beach Shamrock 1/2 Marathon 2024

Pace Yourself 👣

“Your pace on the last mile was spectacular.” Siri voiced my husband’s text into my ear. 

I had just passed mile marker 7 of the Virginia Beach Shamrock Half-marathon.  Up until that point, I wasn’t sure how this event would go for me.  While I had been officially training for this event for months, I had undergone fairly major surgery eleven prior, so I had only gradually returned to running beginning in June.  Even then, it was two months of walking/running, gradually increasing the time spent running.

In November, I participated in the Marshall University Half-Marathon.  Completing it felt like a huge victory since I had to start at ground zero, so-to-speak, post-surgery.  After my surgery at the beginning of April, my exercise consisted of walking around my house for 5-10 minutes at a time several times per day. Therefore, going from house-walking to running 13.2 miles, albeit slowly, within several months was a huge personal milestone. 

Ready to start!

Rethink your definition of Who Can finish a half-Marathon 🏁

Here’s the thing to know about me.  I am not what I would consider athletic.  I was the proverbial band-geek in high school.  Not that I define myself by long-ago standards, but I think many of us can get into our heads and define our athletic abilities based upon those past early experiences. The point is you don’t have to consider yourself “athletic” to participate in a half or full marathon. Anyone can do it.

Furthermore, you don’t have to be fast, and you don’t even have to run it.  You can walk the entire route, or you can mix it up, alternating bouts of walking with running. Others, those who I tend to define as “natural” runners, may spout out finish times and pace with a competitive spirit, but many others, like me, are simply proud of crossing that finish line.  That said, I do confess I notice my finish times, but I never let those times define my accomplishment.  Crossing a finish line is always a victory.

Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU on Pexels.com

Realistic Plans for Beginners ✅

To that end, my relationship with running, which began approximately ten years ago, has developed in fits and starts. When I first began, ten years younger, I was a bit faster than I am now, but I was still running at what competitive runners would consider a slow pace. During those early years, I would try to adhere to established standards of publications, and I always fell short.  I wasn’t experienced enough to fully understand those standards weren’t realistic for me. 

Ten years later, and it still seems like many publications and media outlets set unrealistic expectations for those who are TRULY newbies and need a gentle approach to running/walking.  However, that is gradually beginning to change, and I want to be part of those voices who speak to those so-called “nonathletes” who want to participate in a healthy community event, such as a 5K or half-marathon.  I have read and listened to a few authors who speak to that person with no athletic experience; plus, I have amassed my own personal experience. Therefore, I want to share a few tidbits of encouragement.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Focus on Increasing time on feet, Not Miles 🦶

First of all, nearly anyone can train to walk, walk/run, or run a half-marathon.  I have met too many people who say they’d love to do it, but believe they aren’t capable.  Yes. You. Are.  I have participated in enough events to know that there are numerous participants who walk the entire route.

Here’s the trick I learned, you do need to train and prepare the body for these events, but it doesn’t have to be extreme. It’s all about time spent on your feet engaged in walking and/or running and the weekly long run that gradually increases in length over 12-24 weeks, depending upon your goals and your starting level of fitness.  (Of course, always seek advice/approval from your healthcare provider before embarking on a program.)

For both Shamrock and the Marshall Half-marathon, my longest run was ten miles, and they were walk/run training sessions–run ten minutes, walk two minutes, and then I kept repeating this pattern for a certain length of time, rather than miles.  This took pressure off completing a certain distance, and it allowed me to better respond to how my body was feeling–adjusting the length of time walking or running.  If I felt rested and strong, I ran for longer periods; however, if I felt over-fatigued or not well, I ran for shorter periods and walked more. 

Photo by Kate Trifo on Pexels.com

Never Underestimate walking 🚶🏽‍♀️

As a general rule, true beginners typically start with walking.  Once you can successfully walk for 30 minutes without stopping–and it might take months to work up to that length of time, and that is ok– then you can begin to add a minute or two of easy jogging, such as walk for ten minutes, jog one minute; repeat two more times.  That is honestly how I moved from walking to running after surgery this past spring once I had clearance from the surgeon.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Intersperse time jogging 🏃‍♀️

Run Your Butt Off  is a great resource for a structured 12+ week  run/walk plan, but I suggest you disregard the diet information! Additionally, the Shamrock Half Marathon/Marathon website offers free training plans for running/walking an 8K, half, and full marathon. I have successfully used both and found them incredibly helpful and encouraging.

Week-by-week, you can slowly decrease your walking time and increase your running time.  Eventually, you may get to a point where you are happy alternating between running and walking, and that is fine!  Many people adhere to a run/walk practice.  In fact, Jeff Galloway has published numerous articles and books on this topic if you are looking for more guidance.  Therefore, if you want to complete a 5K, 8K, half-marathon, or even a full marathon, there are plans available that will fit your level of fitness. 

Two thumbs up for a personal best!

Sham-rocked! ☘️

As it turned out, I was ultimately able to finish this half-marathon with a personal best time. Once I passed mile marker 7 and my husband made me aware of my pace, I began to get excited and focus a bit more on maintaining my pace, realizing a PR was within reach.  In fact, I finished ten minutes faster than the previous year!  However, it wasn’t easy.  My mind kept telling me about different parts of my body that were hurting, so I had to keep combatting and replacing those negative thoughts with positive messages, such as  “I am getting stronger,” “I am so close now,” “Focus on the feeling of crossing the finish line,” and so forth. 

While it wasn’t my intention to run a PR, I think changing the way I more realistically approached training after surgery made it possible.  Giving myself permission to walk during my months of preparation and using a training plan appropriate for my skill level made a huge difference. Nonetheless, even if I had finished with a slower time, crossing that finish line is always a victory! 

You can do it! 😃

And, I want you to know, Dear Reader, that if you have ever dabbled with the idea of participating in a half-marathon, you can absolutely do it!  I am cheering for you! 

#runforglutenfreewaffle #bestsupport #pocahontaspancakes&wafflehouse #shamrockfinishline

Almost time to go!
And, we are off and running!
Crossing the finish line is such a feeling of accomplishment!

Five lessons that a post-surgery completion of a half-marathon taught me

. . . For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed . . . nothing will be impossible for you.”–Matthew 17:20 (NRSVCE) 

Apple seed hopes 🍏

Back in April, my daughter, Maddie was having fun with the camera as we waited in a pre-operation room.

Recently, apples have been in season, and as I cut them up and deseed them, I can’t help but take notice of those small seeds–seeds full of possibility and hope.  And, while the seeds from those apples will no longer yield trees and fruit, the apple itself fuels my body as well as a hopeful attitude.

In fact, by the time you read this, Dear Reader, I can say with feelings of great joy that I completed the Marshall University Half-Marathon.  Albeit, that finish line was not quickly crossed, but because of seeds of hope, faith, and belief, it was nonetheless completed.  Besides, 13.1 miles is still the same distance, no matter the speed it takes to get there.

Walking into the pre-race packet pick-up, I was filled with hope.

For the record, I didn’t tell many people about my seed of hope outside of my husband and daughter because it was my own private manifestation of recovery.  In April, it seemed highly improbable.  However, as the months passed and my stamina improved, that seed of hope grew into a seedling and sprouted leaves of possibility.  

Fostering such a dream has taught me a thing, or five, as the case may be, and because running is really a metaphor for life, I thought I’d share those lessons with you.

Five Life Lessons from running 🏃‍♀️

The runners are off and running . . .

Lesson 1: Small beginnings can engender bigger accomplishments.  At the beginning of April, immediately following spinal surgery on my neck, I was told to walk every hour as part of my recovery.  Even “trips around the dining room table” added up, the nurses told me.  The first few days were not easy, but I followed their advice, walking every waking hour, 5-10 minutes.  Eventually, I worked up to 15, 20, and 30 minutes, a few times per day.  Even then, I was dreaming of one day recovering enough to complete another half-marathon, but I didn’t know if it would ever be possible.  Nonetheless, I tucked the dream into the pocket of my heart.

Lesson 2: Savor the good moments, but don’t let the not-so-great ones trip you up.

During recovery there were some pretty rough days.  I tried not to let on, or even name them, lest I give them power over me.  Instead, I kept thinking of Dory, in Finding Nemo, who taught all of us to “just keep swimming.”  And, that is what I did.  I kept swimming, even on the days it felt I was going against the current.  When Dr. Saulle and his staff gave me the green light to slowly, but gradually, add in bouts of running to my walking, I was cautiously optimistic.  Nevertheless, since I had not been running for over three months, it was painfully slow going, but I held fast to the dream tucked into the pocket of my heart.

Run your own race; set your own pace.

Lesson 3: Race your own race; set your own pace. Throughout the late summer, early fall months, I kept plodding-on, alternating bouts of walking with running.  Gradually, the time spent running increased while the time spent walking decreased.  Nonetheless, some days I just didn’t have it in me to run, so I just kept walking. 

By mid-October, only a few weeks before the actual event, I registered for the MU Half-marathon with my fingers crossed.  I continued my own plan of walking and running.  In fact, on the morning of the event, as my husband, John, and I crossed the bridge into town, a strategy came to mind: “Run your own race, Steph, and set your own pace.”  While I did plan to run with a pacing group, I also decided to listen to my body and not force anything once I hit the streets running as I held fast to the dream tucked into the pocket of my heart.

THE BEST SUPPORT TEAM EVER!

Lesson 4:  Allow yourself to be supported. Our daughter, Maddie, met John and me at MU stadium.  They offered to be my team of support early on.  John carried my special hydration mix–my stomach is super sensitive–and Maddie took charge of keeping up with where I was on the course, and ultimately ran mile nine and mile 13 with me.  

Additionally, I ran with pacers Chad Fischer and Aubrey Netzel (names from MU Marathon site) for the first three miles, but I found that I kept moving slightly ahead of them.  Therefore, I decided to take a leap of faith and continue to run on my own at a slightly faster pace. For several miles, I ran with a woman named Angie who was running the full marathon, but eventually, we separated. Therefore, I soaked up all the good energy surrounding the runners, allowing me to always feel supported as I held fast to the dream tucked into the pocket of my heart.  

Feeling grateful for the love and support! 💜

Lesson 5:  Feel and share your gratitude.  Throughout these past months, whenever I felt down or frustrated, I reminded myself to feel grateful.  This was especially true when running the actual event. There were scores of volunteers along the route, and I tried to verbally thank each one I encountered, although I am sure I missed some.  Many of those volunteers would cheer and clap for the runners, even though they had other jobs to do as well. There was an impressive police presence, keeping the runners safe. Plus, there were numerous organizations and clubs providing drink stations along the course.  Additionally, there were some really fun signs to read, such as, “You’re running better than our government,” and “Run like someone just called you a jogger.”  

By the last mile, running side-by-side with Maddie, my heart overflowed with gratitude. In April, I was walking 5-10 minutes at a time. Seven months and two days after the surgery, I ran a half-marathon with only one walk break.  There are so many people for whom I feel grateful who made my recovery and ultimately the half-marathon possible–family, friends, and co-workers. Most of all, I am eternally grateful for John and Maddie who never once doubted the dream tucked in the pocket of my heart.  

Nurturing seeds of hope pays off.

In the end, Dear Reader, if we plant seeds of hope, regularly water them with faith in our True Source, put in the effort and work, and, of course, “just keep swimming” with strokes of belief–even on the hardest of days, we can set our own pace for running our own race, however we define it, and watch as our those seeds of hope blossom into possibilities.

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”–2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NIV)

Run your race, whatever it may be, your way!

Grateful memories of Virginia Beach, Shamrock Marathon 2023

“We should learn to savor some moments to let time feel worth existing.”–Munia Khan

One of the Cape Henry Lighthouses, situated on Fort Story.

“How do you feel about tomorrow?”  my husband, John, asked me as we sat at a corner table for two in Mannino’s Italian Bistro in Virginia Beach, a hidden gem we had discovered during last year’s visit.  

We had arrived around 5:40, hoping to beat the crowd for an early dinner the night before I participated in the 51st annual Shamrock Half Marathon. Clearly, we were not the only ones who had thought of that!  The restaurant was positively packed with runners and their family and/or friends.  Therefore, I mulled over my answer to the animated vibe of enthusiastic and celebratory conversations.

“I will let it be.  See how it unfolds and just . . . enjoy and be grateful.”

Looking back over the twelve months prior to that weekend, March 17-19, we had withstood several unforeseen challenges, and still had more face upon returning home.  However, for this weekend, we took a time-out.  We took time to breathe in that salty air of renewal, watch the waves caress the shoreline, feel the warmth of the sun as it kissed our cheeks, and soak up as much joy as our hearts could hold. No rush; no hurry; few worries.

One of the highlights of our trip was discovering the Virginia Museum of Contemporary Arts.  This contemporary, non-collecting museum is a vibrant and welcoming space.  During the weekend in which we were there, the museum’s exhibition galleries were brimming with a wide-variety of collections, including stunning quilted art from 54-40 African American Quilters Guild of Virginia. 

Additionally, it was Virginia MOCA’s annual celebration of youth art month, so there was a multitude of student art on display.  Additionally, we were able to take in a kaleidoscope of blown-glass color from the museum’s only permanent work of art, Mille Colori, by Dale Chihuly. Virginia MOCA is a gallery that appears to be a local favorite for good reason, and I encourage anyone visiting VB, who loves art, to visit it!

Immediately within the doors of Virginia MOCA, is an adorable, independent bookshop called, Read Books, which I recommend checking out while pursuing the museum.  It was while we were visiting this space that we learned that both the bookshop and the museum are part of the ViBe Creative District. This walkable designated area of VB is the heart of over 100 artists and creative businesses. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to further explore this district, but we’ve added it to the top of the list of areas to explore next time we visit VB.

These discoveries reflect the joy of revisiting a diverse location, such as VB.  We get to return to those experiences that we previously relished; and yet, there remains an abundance of new sights with which to enjoy on future visits.  Two favorite VB spots for which John and I delighted in returning were Side Street Cantina and Pocahontas Pancakes and Waffle House. 

John and I love Mexican food, and the Peruvian-inspired Mexican food of Side Street Cantina always delivers.  This is our third year visiting this site, and the service and food remained consistently excellent.  In fact, their personable staff goes out of their way to make us feel like one of their regulars.  This establishment is worth experiencing if you are vacationing in VB. 

As for my all time favorite breakfast/lunch restaurant, it is Pocahontas Pancakes and Waffle House, and we made sure to eat there twice. This is because this quintessential eatery–in addition to having an expansive novel-like, made-to-order menu–offers a wide-array of gluten-free options. It was clear from the crowd over the weekend of events, this is a favorite dining experience for both locals and visitors like us who return year after year.  

 Whereas, a new VB dining establishment we discovered on this trip was the Mellow Mushroom.  Sure it’s a chain, but it was within close walking distance to the hotel in which we stayed, and it was newly opened as of fall of 2022.  It made for the perfect place for a gluten-free pizza in the evening for which I ran the half-marathon.  Fans of the Mellow Mushroom establishment will not be disappointed.

Meanwhile, back to the morning of the half marathon. John and I stayed at a hotel conveniently located near the starting line.  That said, John and I had a good laugh at my corral number.  We kept walking, and walking, to find the group with which I would start based upon estimated finish time.  My corral was nearly at the back of the line!  Nonetheless, I proudly joined my corral group and waited as each group was given their own individual countdown.  

The anticipation grew. 3, 2, 1!  We were off on an adventure!  And what an exhilarating adventure it was!

This is the first time I actually ran the event in-person, rather than virtually, so I was all-smiles taking in the sights.  Runners of all shapes, sizes, colors, genders, and ethnicities were supporting one another as we made our way along the northern end of Atlantic Ave.; up the creeping incline of Shore Drive; through Fort Story with special event permission; alongside Cape Henry Lighthouses; back down Atlantic Ave with the wind blessedly out our backs, and finally turning left on 37th street as we traversed the VB boardwalk during the final part of the last mile alongside of the Atlantic ocean, past the iconic King Neptune, to cross the finish line nearest to 30th street.

I simply could not stop smiling.  The sun was shining, and the temperatures were great for running (high 30s to low 40s).  As I crossed the finish line, tears came to my eyes; my heart was overflowing  with joy.  John was waiting at the finish line with our daughter, Maddie, on Facetime to join in the finish-line fun.   

It was a glorious day and soul-renewing weekend. I am grateful to the friendly folks at J&A Racing (and VB) who believe in creating a safe, well-organized event that offers a sense of community for runners, walkers, and their families/friends of all stages of life and all levels of fitness–from walking to sprinting, and everyone in between.  This event does precisely what the organization sets out to do, make memories!

I Run, Therefore, I am a Runner

“No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch,”–Unknown

I try to be careful about how I write/talk/post about my so-called running practice.  When doing so, I typically attempt to lower the expectations of the readers/listener with some sort of self-deprecating humor.  Why?  Beside the fact, that I can’t take myself too seriously, I’ve also had too many encounters with those competitive souls who immediately insist on knowing my stats/pace/race times in order to determine, it seems to me, how to best classify me:  Real competitive runner or the oh-aren’t-you-so-cute-in-your-attempts-to-jog?

Personally, I am not ashamed of my snail-like pace when I run, but I have allowed myself, at times, to feel less-than, especially in conversations with those runners who throw around finishing times and running paces like bodybuilders flexing their muscles in a gym mirror.  If running paces were bicep bulges, then mine would be that proverbial image of a skinny kid with biceps drooping down like a lowercase u.  Okay, maybe not the best illustration, but the point is this: I still cover the same distance and cross the same finish line as any other runner, and I have finally decided to no longer feel like a less-than runner because I am not as fast.

“We are all runners, some are just faster than others. I never met a fake runner.”–Bart Yasso

Since the week following Thanksgiving 2021, I followed a training plan for the 2022 Shamrock half marathon/marathon weekend in Virginia Beach.  I had previously trained for and ran this virtual event last year, which was highly restricted due to COVID.  Training, at that time, was challenging, not only because I was returning to running after several years of a hiatus, but also due to the snow, ice storms, flooding, and other winter events that seemed to plague last winter.  Therefore, most of my training, including those all important weekly long runs, were mostly completed on a treadmill.  

During 2021 Shamrock weekend, the Virginia Beach boardwalk was nearly devoid of visitors. This was not the case for 2022

This year, however, I committed to completing as many of my long Saturday runs as possible, outside, despite winter weather with the goal of running in Virginia Beach.  I also made changes to my weekday training, moving my workouts to early morning, before my workday began, as well as incorporating more strength training, stretching, and a weekly yoga session. Since this was the 50th anniversary of the Shamrock, it was sure to be a big event for the town, especially with many of the COVID restrictions of last year lifted.  Nonetheless, runners still had the option to run it virtually. 

Therefore, traveling to Virginia Beach this year, I knew I was ready to give it my best–nothing record breaking, but it was my best, and I was ready to enjoy the fruits of my consistent winter efforts!  Upon Thursday’s arrival, John, my husband, and I could sense the town’s atmosphere–full of anticipation, joy, and celebration.  Signs welcoming visitors were posted throughout, and we met numerous people in the service industry expressing their genuine excitement for the “first event of the season,” especially after the challenges of the past two years. 

The famous Shamrock sandcarving is safely blocked off until the day of the event.

On Friday, John and I interacted with an abundance of the participants while attending the Shamrock Sports and Fitness Expo. Like me, they were there to not only pick up their race day bib and shirt, but also to browse the vendors’ displays and soak up the levity leading up to the event. Walking around the large arena, what surprised me the most was that there were so many other runners who, like me, did not fit the so-called mental construct that is often associated with what it means to be a runner.  All ages, shapes, shades, sizes, and any other manner of differentiation–it seemed–were represented as if every possible background category box was checked. Oh, to-be-sure, there were plenty of competitive runners who obsessively talked to anyone who would listen about finish time, pacing, and other stats, but the majority of runners seemed to be there in order to have fun and relish the experience.

Let’s go!

Perhaps, I always knew this about running, and had not allowed myself to see this, but surrounded by the high spirited energy of all those different types of runners made me rethink my own feelings—so much that I recall telling John, over dinner that night, that I was no longer going to choose to feel less-than because I am not a fast or competitive runner.  

I run, and therefore I am a runner.  

Bottom line, I find joy in any movement, but especially running.  Running is what I do to reduce stress, increase my sense of energy and positivity, it provides me the ability to sleep soundly, and other countless benefits. Furthermore, after years of experiencing the captivity of an injury, I feel grateful for having the ability to recover and move my body freely.

Let’s make friends and have some fun!

Ultimately, this year, I decided to virtually run the half-marathon on Saturday, instead of Sunday, when the actual Shamrock was scheduled.  I made this choice in order to have the rest of Saturday, after my 13.1 mile run, to enjoy beach and relax before making the seven-hour drive home on Sunday.  This meant I would have to slightly modify the route, due to the fact the actual Shamrock course looped through Fort Story, and that section of the course would remain closed to runners the day before the event.  Nonetheless, if I ran the course as an out and back route, I would still cover 13.1 miles.

John and I were fortunate to watch a beautiful sunrise over the ocean the morning of my 13.1 mile virtual run.

Saturday morning, I began my personal half-marathon at the starting line area at 7:30, the official start time of the following day.  The roads were not closed, as they would have been during the actual event, so I had to carefully navigate the sidewalks through town and run the bike path section of the isolated, four-lane stretch of Shore Drive.  Fortunately, it was not a work day, so traffic wasn’t as busy as it might have otherwise been. Still, there were a few times in which I had to hop off the lane to make way for curb-hugging cars and/or bikes.  

As a runner, especially on those long runs, it’s always good to know where the “Elite Seats” are located!!

All the while, John kept driving in a loop, repeatedly checking on me, and shouting out encouragement through the car window.  As part of the plan, John met up with me at the halfway point.  This allowed me to pause for a quick drink break before turning around and heading back into town.  

Reaching the halfway point, I felt strong. However, since I had trained through winter, I was acclimated to cold temperatures.  It had been months since I had run in the 70 degree temperatures for which I found myself running.  Therefore, my pace began to slow the closer to the end I came.  Still, I finished.  I. Ran.  In fact, I ran slightly over 13.1 miles.

“Running slow isn’t a character flaw: Quitting is.”–Unknown

Dear Reader, I am a runner, and I will never allow myself to again feel slighted by my pace, my age, my stature, or any of those supercilious definitions–AND neither should you–no matter what your endeavors.  God designed our bodies for movement, and we should celebrate and enjoy that ability.  One day, Dear Reader, I may not be able to move freely, but that is not today . . . and so, I will continue to walk, hike, move, stretch, and, yes, even run. 

Time to start!
That feeling when it’s over, and the distance is covered!
John and I can relax now relax on the beach!

Steph’s Blues Busting Chocolate Green Smoothie

“If you have a chronic disease — such as heart disease, diabetes, asthma, (arthritis, cancer, dementia) or back or joint pain — exercise can have important health benefits.”— “Exercise and chronic disease: Get the Facts,” Mayo Clinic Staff

Photo by Yaroslav Danylchenko on Pexels.com

COVID has taken away many so-called practices and habits that were once societal norms.  I think it is fair to say that many of us, from time to time, have felt weighed down, a bit angry, and even bereaved over the loss of the “way things used to be.”  In fact, now that we’ve begun traveling down this new road of living, I suspect there may be many things that will never return.  However, on the positive side, there are a few things that have evolved from this swift shifting of life.

One such personal benefit began during the quarantine period of 2020 as I reflected on my own health.  As I recently shared in other pieces, I have a genetic predisposition to colon cancer and heart disease.  Therefore, in an attempt to boost my immune system against these two inherited threats as well as COVID, I began to dial in my focus on the benefits of cardiovascular exercise and plant based eating, while still continuing some strength/flexibility/mindfulness practices.  None of these attempts have been perfect, but they do provide a sense of personal empowerment–a worthwhile feeling in a world that often feels out of control.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Of particular focus for me was a renewed desire for out-of-doors exercise; however, the ever-present battle with two bulging discs and an extra vertebrae was/is a never-ending reality.  Therefore, towards the middle of May 2020, I began researching ways to strengthen my back and core muscles while simultaneously gradually working my way from walking to running in order to increase my cardiovascular fitness level. While there is nothing wrong with walking–in fact, I love it, and I honestly believe it is one of the safest and best forms of exercise–there is something about the heart pumping vigor of running that leaves me, well, breathless!

All kidding aside, I do not want to give the illusion that I run fast.  Speed is not, per se, part of my goal; instead, I focus on increased endurance.  In particular, I put greater emphasis on my resting heart rate.  The lower my resting heart rate, the better I sleep, and the less stress affects me–especially at bed time.  

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Therefore, without belaboring the point, I found a program for strengthening the back and core called, the Mckenzie Method.  Using some of the exercises from this back method and combining them with exercises from my time spent in physical therapy and practicing yoga, I cobbled together my own DIY daily back/core care routine.  Additionally, while researching this method, I ran across (See what I did there?) a book/training entitled, Run Your Butt Off, about which I have previously written.  This running program offers a plan to help a walker go from walking for 30 minutes, to running for the same length of time in 12 weeks (or however many weeks you decide to take it).  

Since completing the Run Your Butt Off plan, I have continued running 3-4 times per week. On the days that I run, I sleep much better–even if I don’t have the time to sleep long.  Even more exciting is that I have signed up to run a virtual half marathon.  Due to this, I have put greater emphasis on personal nutrition for the purposes of reducing inflammation and fostering recovery as the running mileage increases each week.

“Choosing plants will help all your body’s systems work the best they can.”–Heather Alexander, The University of Texas, MD Anderson Cancer Center

One way I am doing this is by continuing to eat plant-based.  While plant based eating does not have to mean that you will completely forgo meat and dairy, it does mean that those foods are dramatically reduced.  However, my personal choice, other than my occasional indulgence of black bean nachos, I choose not to consume meat and dairy products.  Additionally, I have (once again) committed to breakfast smoothies during this time period rather than skipping breakfast.  These smoothies are whole food, plant based powerhouses with no added sugar.  Every ingredient contained within them is full of fiber and a solid source of nutrition.  

I know that many people are opposed to drinking calories, and I understand abiding by that rule. However, I simply do not have time to commit to a sit-down breakfast, plus my stomach is often a queasy mess in the mornings.  A premade smoothie that I make ahead of time is a portable package of sound nutrition that my stomach can tolerate a couple of hours after rising.  They fuel me through my morning, and by lunch, I find I am not, per se, ravenously hungry.  

Additionally, by the time I head for my after-work runs, even if I am mentally exhausted, once I force myself to my running destination, I have plenty of fuel in the tank to complete the run.  Afterwards, I ALWAYS feel better, and even if everything else about the day seemed like it went wrong, at least I did two positive things for myself: fed my body good nutrition and exercised.  In my book, that’s a win. COVID changes be danged.

What follows below is one of my newest smoothie creations. (I’ve got a few more recipes I’m refining!)  No matter how frazzled, frustrated, or dissatisfied I may feel with external situations, this recipe has a way of mentally picking me up with its bright flavors and hint of chocolatey goodness.  Feel free to play around with and/or change the ingredients and/or the amounts to meet your personal dietary needs and taste preference.  Additionally, serve it up in a nice glass or even canning jar, and don’t be ashamed if using a straw (I use metal, reusable straw.) to slurp up all of the goodness at the bottom of the glass!  

From my home to yours, I wish you much happiness, health, and harmony even during these challenging times.  

Steph’s Blues Busting Chocolate Green Smoothie

Ingredients:

½ cup favorite milk or water (I use plant based milk.)

1 cup (75 grams) chopped romaine lettuce

1/2 ripe banana (I buy them ahead of time and freeze once ripe.)

2 tablespoons flax seed (Can use hemp or chia seeds.)

**2-4 tablespoons of Dutched cocoa powder, depending upon how chocolatey you want it.

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract or vanilla bean powder

1 ½  cup (45 grams frozen; 85 grams fresh) chopped spinach 

1  cup blueberries (Can use frozen.)

½ cup cherry, pomegranate, or pomegranate/cherry juice

Dash of salt (I use a twist of ground pink himalyan.)

Optional: Add 1-2 teaspoons of favorite sweetener if desired, such as pure maple syrup, molasses, or honey (I do NOT add any sweetener, but I know others prefer a sweeter smoothie.)

Place in a blender in the order listed and blend until smooth.

Divide between two glasses.

Can be served immediately or stored for later use in the fridge.

Makes 2 servings.

**If you are not a fan of chocolate, you can skip the cocoa powder altogether.  However, you may want to consider adding, at the very least, 1 tablespoons of it.  Cocoa powder has numerous health and nutritional benefits.