Tag: mindfulness

Running Beyond Age: Embracing Health and Freedom in Every Step

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Running is an act of creative self expression”–Lawrence van Lingen on Extramilest podcast

A Familiar Morning Scene: Defying the Stereotype 👟👟

Two older runners jogging together on a path surrounded by grass and wildflowers in a park during early morning.
Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

Picture this. It’s early on a warm Saturday morning in your local park. The sun is low on the horizon, and mist is rising above the grass and a meandering stream that runs alongside a crushed gravel path. The scent of a nearby rose garden is heady as two runners descend the hill following the path. Moving at a steady clip, one runner has a full head of white hair while the other is more salt than pepper. They are relaxed and chatting as they pass by.

This is a routine sighting for me on my weekend jogs. Numerous older runners, walkers, and run/walkers defying the stereotype through exercise, that aging equals physical decline. In fact, according to AARP, beginning in 2023, the average age of runners has risen. Some of the biggest gains are those 55 years and older, with numerous runners sticking to it well into their 60s, 70s, and 80s as witnessed in the ages of Boston Marathon finishers in recent years as well as other major marathons around the world. Of course, there’s no denying aging does change the body, so why do I see numbers of people my age and older consistently outside running and/or walking?

Running as Personal Ritual and Liberation 🏃‍♀️

Older man jogging outdoors in a gray hoodie and gloves, surrounded by tall grass with a calm sky in the background.
Photo by Barbara Olsen on Pexels.com

For many older individuals, like myself, running or run/walking becomes a personal manifestation of life–a ritualistic form of imaginative self expression that allows us to reconnect with our inner rhythm, identity, and self-determination. It creates a sense of freedom and play that we once had as a child. Additionally, running offers numerous benefits, including improved physical health, enhanced mental well-being, social connections, and a renewed sense of personal meaning, to name a few. 

The Science-Backed Physical Benefits of Running 🏃‍♂️

An older female runner smiling while participating in a race, wearing a bright pink tank top and bib number 12491, with greenery and other runners in the background.
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I occasionally encounter critics who question the safety of running at “my age,” (a term used by my students); however, according to another 2023 AARP article, older runners just have to be “smart about it.” This is why many running groups often point beginners, including seniors, to using a run-walk-run method to establish a strong aerobic base. In fact, Cleveland Clinic, in a 2024 article, points to numerous physical health advantages to walking and/or running for all ages, but especially seniors. These advantages include:

  • Strengthens heart and improves circulation
  • Reduces risk of heart disease and stroke
  • Increases bone density, helping prevent osteoporosis 
  • Improves joint flexibility and maintains muscle function
  • Boosts metabolism and supports healthy aging
  • Improves blood sugar regulation and lowers risk for type 2 diabetes
  • Reduces risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease

Mental Health Gains: Silence the Inner Critic 🙉

An older woman running outdoors in a black hoodie and orange shirt, focused on her exercise, with a blurred background of benches and greenery.
Photo by Centre for Ageing Better on Pexels.com

Certainly, the physical health benefits of running are important to me; however, one of the greatest advantages is the feelings of improved mental health and well-being. I often refer to monkeys living in my mind, and running allows me to rise above the swirling negative chatter that often clouds my mind. On days when it seems everything goes sideways, if I have completed my morning run, I can take solace in the fact that I completed at least one positive act, thereby helping me to keep symptoms of depression and anxiety at arm’s length. 

I also find running clears my head, improves thinking, and increases memory, which is a bonus as I age. In fact, running–and exercise in general–is like meditation in motion because it deeply connects me to my breath. Plus, it is a great source of stress reduction.

The Artistry of Movement: Running as a Creative Outlet ✍️

An older man with a full head of gray hair is pouring water from a cup over his head while running in a sunny outdoor setting. He wears a bright red athletic shirt and a race bib number 757. In the background, other runners can be seen along a palm tree-lined street.
Photo by Jou00e3o Godoy on Pexels.com

Running is also a form of innovative self-expression, for young and old alike. Like crafting one’s own piece of art, running showcases the beauty of a body in motion. It offers time for inspiration and reflection. Each run, like a canvas, offers the opportunity to tell a story, footstep-by-footstep. Personally, time spent running also allows me to process life as well as difficult, often buried, emotions, and it even sparks inspiration. My running, albeit slow, feels like an act of liberation, hope, and a tribute to the many obstacles I have overcome along the way. It is a symbol of inner strength, resilience, and freedom to be me–in a world that has often felt as if it boxed me in.

Spirituality, Solitude, and Social Connection 🙏

An older man running on a path surrounded by tall grass and trees on a sunny day.
Photo by Thomas Shockey on Pexels.com

For many runners, older and young, running offers an opportunity to hang out with other runners and socialize. However, some find that running solo, instead, creates a sacred space in which they can connect to their Higher Power, feeling that sense of peace and ease. Still others appreciate the opportunity to spend time in nature, soaking up fresh air and the beauty of Mother Earth.

A Healthy Routine for a Vibrant Life 🙌

Two female runners in matching orange and red jerseys sprint together, holding hands as they approach the finish line. They display expressions of determination and joy during a race.
Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU on Pexels.com

Running, for many, including myself, forms a meaningful structure to the day, a time set aside for one’s personal well-being and health.  This is important because there are numerous obligations and responsibilities that life often demands, even as we age. By setting aside regular time to run, sleep typically improves, which can be so elusive in older adults. Furthermore, those who run typically tend to eat better and don’t tend to abuse substances in order to better support their ability to run.

Staying Safe and Smart with Age 🤔

An older woman running outdoors, wearing a bright yellow tank top with a blue logo, smiling and gesturing with her hands. The background features greenery and a sunlit path.
Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU on Pexels.com

Of course, as we age, we do have to be safe about our exercise habits, which often begins with checking-in with a health-care provider. Additionally, I highly recommend finding good footwear that works for your own personal gait/foot-type; a local running store expert can help with this. Furthermore, as AARP points out, older runners should not go from “zero to 60.” Warm-ups and cool-downs are essential, and for those wanting to start running, a good walk-run program like Run Your Butt Off or the Run-walk-run training plans are two great ways to start. (I have personally used both and can attest to their gentle nature.) 

Other considerations as we age include running less on concrete and asphalt, if possible, and spending more time on softer surfaces, like the paths at local parks. Treadmills also offer a more cushioned surface, and they are a great option when weather is too hot, too cold, or otherwise uncomfortable. If you run at night or early morning, it is important to wear a headlamp and reflective vest for safety’s sake. Additionally, if you run alone, it is a good idea to let someone know where you are running and for how long. 

Every Run Is a Story: Movement as Becoming 🏃

A runner with a confident expression points at the camera while sporting a black sleeveless shirt with 'RUN lovers' printed on it, a race bib, and a headband, during an event in a sporting field.
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Bottom line, each run or run/walk/run is an adventure. Sure, some runs are less adventurous than others, but those moments offer an opportunity to learn about ourselves if we remain open and curious. Running (and walking) is accessible and fairly low-cost, and it is an effective way for older (and even younger) adults to improve their mental, physical, emotional, and even spiritual well-being. 

Beyond these benefits, running, for me, continues to remain a quiet act of self-expression. With each step and stride I take, I am writing a story, reclaiming my space and time, and paying homage to The Creator, celebrating this gift that is life. In this way, running transcends exercise and becomes a personal journey of becoming, no matter my age. 

With the right approach and mindset, whether you run, run-walk-run, or mostly walk, moving our bodies regularly can create joy and empower older adults to age well—proving that vitality truly has no age limit!

An older man with white hair smiles while wearing a jacket and a medal, standing among a group of people in a blurred background.
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The Spirograph Effect: Creativity in Life Design

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Not all who wander are lost”–J.R.R. Tolkien

Close-up of hands using drawing tools to create a spiral geometric design on paper.

A Student’s Doodle Sparks a Memory✍️

Months ago, I observed a student drawing spiraling circles over and over on a sheet of notebook paper while participating in our class discussion. For some reason, I was reminded of an old toy my siblings and I once enjoyed: the Spirograph. I can’t remember which one of us received it, but we would sit together for what seemed like hours at the kitchen table drawing colorful, eye-popping (at least to us) geometric shapes.

Four children gathered around a table, smiling and drawing colorful patterns on a large sheet of paper using various markers.

Lessons Hidden in a Childhood Toy ꩜

Reflecting upon that long-ago childhood toy, led to the realization that the Spirograph illustrates the significance of specific concepts when it comes to creating our own life design, such as the influence of structure, patience, persistence, and the importance of celebrating our own unique individuality. It also emphasizes the value of working through natural constraints and trusting the process of learning through repetition. What’s more, the Spirograph demonstrates the relevance of trial and error–which often includes failure–as well as accepting the beauty that can be found in our so-called “imperfections”.

The Spirograph’s Ingenious Origins 👨‍🔬

To appreciate the genius of the spirograph as a toy, requires understanding a bit of its history. Denys Fisher, a British engineer, created it as a child’s play thing based upon various iterations, beginning as early as 1827. At the time of its original conception, it was used for advancing mathematical and engineering concepts. Spirograph, the toy, wasn’t available until 1965, and it went on to win “Toy of the Year” in 1967. Unbelievably, it is still available today.

This classic geometric drawing toy originally came with two transparent rings, two transparent bars, 18 clear wheels of varying sizes, two colored ink pens, pushpins, putty, and paper. Using the various tools, my siblings and I could draw precise, and quite mesmerizing, mathematical curves known as hypotrochoids, epitrochoids, and cycloids. With the switch of any one part, we could vary the size, shape, and geometry of intricate and, at the time, mind-boggling patterns. Essentially, the Spirograph is operated on a balance of limitation and creative freedom, which reflects much of the human experience.

A box of the original Spirograph design set, featuring colorful geometric designs and detailing the contents, including pieces and tools for creating intricate patterns.

Art Through Limits: Creative Freedom Within Structure 🎨

When one is drawing with the Spirograph, one has to adapt to its restrictions. The designs made by using the Spirograph are limited by the size and shape of the wheels and whether you are using the rack or the ring, as well as the color of the chosen pen(s) used to design a figure. Additionally, there are rules for creating specific outcomes as described in its guide book.  While it isn’t necessary to follow the laid-out directions, if one desires it to create a specific shape or design, one has to follow the step-by-step instructions.

This is similar to life in many ways. Influences in life vary from person to person and from family to family, often dependent upon experiences, education, and available information. Many individuals have followed very specific guidelines provided by parents, religion, schools, and even societal norms while others may have fewer influences. For many of us, following a structured timeline is how we landed in our current field/career path.  However, there are just as many, who followed a winding path of their own creation, and still produce a meaningful life experience. Like the Spirograph, following guidelines creates remarkable results for some people, while for others, grabbing the gears and turning them their own darn way works just as well.

Black and white abstract spiral pattern created with lines and arrows, resembling a geometric design.

The Power of Patience and Trusting the Process 🙏

When working with the Spirograph, my siblings and I had to have faith in the process. We had to further learn that creating something meaningful takes time. The desired design outcome emerged slowly, turn by turn, and layer upon layer. In sum, the Spirograph required us to have patience, trust the process, and stay the course. 

Similarly, our life journey takes time as we, hopefully, continuously evolve and grow. We may have times we question the process, or we may waiver in our faith, patience, and persistence. However, rushing life outcomes usually ends up backfiring. Moreover, the time required for personal growth fosters resilience, a much needed companion to patience. We only have one precious life, and as our life design unfolds, with all of its curves and angles, it is never worth rushing. 

A colorful doodle featuring spiraling circles and geometric shapes, reminiscent of designs created with a Spirograph toy.

Failure, Play, and the Magic of Repetition 🖍️

With the Spirograph, I recall that we often learned through repetition and play. We might draw the same shape over and over, sometimes changing the color, or merely changing the size. Other times, we followed the guidelines, and somehow still managed to “fail”!  And, yet, many of those so-called failures ended up being unique and pretty creations–even if they did not come out as planned. Other times, we would just “mess around” to see what we could create. Some results were not so spectacular, but other times, the creations were fairly impressive or, at the very least, provided us with a new understanding for creating specific curves and/or angles. 

Life can often be the same way. How many of us have experienced times where we “followed the rules,” doing what we were “supposed to do,” and still somehow managed to fall flat on our face. Years later, however, we may look back and realize that those “failings” led to something far greater than we could have ever imagined. Other times, a bit of experimentation leads to a new life path or experience that brings unexpected joy we might not have otherwise known. Thus, like the Spirograph, a playful and experimental mindset can lead to untold delights and adventures.

A collection of hand-drawn spirals in varying sizes, arranged artistically on a blank background.

The Beauty of Uniqueness in Design—and in Life 🖼️

Learning to welcome individual uniqueness was another life lesson the Spirograph provided. It often intrigued my young mind how my siblings and I could make the same design, but with a switch of pen color or pressure, or switch of a gear wheel, we could make each drawing unique, despite the fact we were essentially using the same tools. 

Sometimes, we would be surprised when trying to make the exact same shape, because we accidentally missed one of the required steps. Skipping one step, tended to create an irregular shape. Nonetheless, our younger selves marveled at the unique loveliness of the design. Our child-size egos told us we were pioneering artists in those moments!

Marks of Authenticity: Irregular Paths, Unique Lives

What a powerful reminder of the importance of celebrating our own–and others’– idiosyncrasies, including any so-called irregular paths. These individual characteristics and traits, as well as any “irregular paths’ traveled, are all marks of authenticity–that one-of-a-kind spice in our life serving. As humans, our genetic material is vastly similar across all humanity. Yet, this same genetic material still manages to create unique DNA characteristics, such as varying eye color, height, body shapes, and so forth. Furthermore, despite our similar genetic makeup, our lived experiences vary. In a sense, we are pioneering artists of our own lives.

A colorful collection of intricate geometric patterns resembling designs created with a Spirograph. The spirals and mandalas feature vibrant colors and diverse shapes, showcasing creativity and uniqueness.

Embracing Life’s Curves and Imperfections 🌀

Like the Spirograph of my childhood, we all deal with life constraints, no matter what path we try to create for ourselves. These life designs often, and sometimes repeatedly, require practice, patience, perseverance. Life also requires us to accept the many so-called imperfections and irregularities that come as part of the creative process. However, those “flawed” experiences give our life meaning and purpose. Therefore, it is worth remembering we have the power to play and create with the pen we have. All those curved lines and angles that make up our lives, including the missteps, are what continues to compose and create our magnificent, one-of-a-kind life design. Let’s embrace the possibilities.

Who’s ready to draw? ✍️

Transform Your Mindset: Embrace New Experiences

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Your perspective is always limited by how much you know. Expand your knowledge and you will transform your mind.”–Bruce H. Lipton

A black background with the words 'open to new OPPORTUNITIES.' written in white chalk-like font.
Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

Dreams That Spark Reflection and awaken the Mind 🎆

Recently, I have been experiencing an active dream life. While I do go through periods when I don’t recall my dreams, lately my nights have been filled with vivid, frightful nightmares. In my dreamlike state, I try to “change the channel,” but my mind keeps slipping right back into the same harrowing scenario. These restless nights inspired me to think about how in life, similar to TV (or any current media platform for that matter) without deliberately changing the channel, our point of view can become limited.

From Antennas to Awareness: Early Lessons in Limits 📺

As a child, there were no cable or streaming platforms.  Our family, like the families around us, relied on a TV antenna on top of the house in order to watch local stations.  Theoretically, we should have been able to watch three to four local stations–ABC, CBS, NBC, and PBS.  However, we were surrounded by hills, and as a result, most days, NBC was the only  station we could clearly view. I’d hear classmates talk about shows on other networks, but unless we visited my grandparents, who had better reception, our viewing options were limited.

Books: Windows to the world 📚

A woman reading a book while sitting by a window, illuminated by warm natural light.
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Fortunately, we did not rely on TV as we had access to a wide array of books and magazines through school, the bookmobile, at the house of my grandparents as well as in  my own home.  Therefore, my viewpoint expanded beyond my small-town bubble through reading.

College as a Catalyst for Perspective 🤔

Later, when I attended Ohio University, in Athens, OH, my worldview was dramatically shifted. Though Athens is no metropolis, the diversity of students, professors, and wide-array of sources of information was striking compared to what I had known in the Tri-State area. This was especially true since I lived in an international dorm with students from around the world. Conversations in these halls opened my eyes to new ways of living, thinking, and even eating.

Cultural Conversations and Culinary Discoveries

Water droplets cascading from a fountain, surrounded by a blurred green background.
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My roommate from Singapore opened my eyes to the water shortages her country was experiencing at the time. In her home apartment complex, water was available only during scheduled times—long showers were out of the question. Her story stuck with me as a concrete example of the finiteness of water.

 Meanwhile, students from Denmark and Sweden introduced me to cheeses that I never before heard of, much less tasted.  A French student was the first person to introduce me to espresso, while students from Vietnam and Korea introduced me to a wide array of spices that would not have been locally available at that time.

Voices from Different Lives 😃

I had a classmate named Annette, the daughter of a military family, who’d lived all over the world. Her life experiences, and the breadth of cultural understanding, was remarkable. She was heads and shoulders above the rest of us in global knowledge and awareness.

In contrast, another classmate, Jerry, grew up on a nearby family farm on the outskirts of campus. He illustrated, first-hand, the struggles of family-farming, the weight of the financial hardship often felt by these families, and the deep faith it takes to persevere.

Spiritual Exploration Through Diverse Worship 🙏

Also, while attending OU, I visited churches of different denominations around campus. This provided direct experience with other forms of worship different from my own upbringing. Each service challenged and broadened my appreciation of varying faith communities.

Travel: Expanding the Map of Understanding 🗺️

As an adult, my perspective has continued to unfold through travel. My husband, daughter, and I have explored various parts of the U.S. from coast to coast and visited several Canadian provinces. During these trips we meet people from all walks of life. These encounters demonstrate the common threads of living as well as the unique–and some not so unique–struggles all humans face. These conversations continue to deepen my empathy and allow me to see cultural events, governmental policies, and life experiences through the eyes of others.

The Environment: Witnessing Earth’s Fragility 🌲

Since most of our travels center around natural and historic sites, my perspective has been further stretched in two important ways. First, traveling reinforces my profound respect for the limited nature of Earth’s resources. Over the years I have witnessed firsthand miles of forests decimated by logging or (most recently) flooding/storms, walked along shores of a fragile coastline in a constant state of erosion, and visited places in which the air quality was at near unbreathable levels due to drought-related dust storms or fires. These expeditions serve as tangible reminders that our environment is not infinite, and it is urgent that we protect/care for it.

A sandy street lined with houses under a cloudy sky, showing the impact of natural forces on the environment.
As the beach erodes, roads and houses are often affected.
Two people walking along a sandy beach next to a pier and coastal houses under a cloudy sky.
Rondathe, NC has lost 11 houses to beach erosion since 2020.

History: Lessons in Perspective and Relevance 🧑‍🏫

Second, by visiting historical landmarks, walking historical streets, or exploring museums, it helps me recognize the values, struggles, and limitations of the times in which people once lived and how relevant the past is to today’s world. These excursions (along with reading historical and historical fiction books) demonstrate that history is not just a collection of dates and events; rather, it’s an expansive, unlimited lens–filled with countless lessons–through which we can understand human behavior, social progress (or lack thereof), and cultural identity. 

Most of all, visiting natural and historic attractions repeatedly instructs that what we take for granted—whether a forest or a freedom—can disappear without an ever-expanding viewpoint.

Perspective Lost and Perspective Gained

Without an intentional commitment to varied life experiences, our perspective is restricted and narrowed. We may not see the value of managing natural resources. Likewise, we might not be empathetic to those with cultural differences, and we might have little-to-no context of history and its importance. Without going beyond our comfort zone, we may not see the vastness and inclusiveness of a God so great, we cannot possibly pretend to understand.

Intentional Curiosity: How to Keep Changing the Channel

Therefore, it is important to seek out new experiences that challenge our assumptions and broaden our horizons. There is indisputable value in engaging with people whose lives are different from our own.  By engaging and listening more, judging less, and asking more questions, we are less likely to jump to conclusions while also allowing our assumptions to be tested. Visiting a worship service different from our own current practice or simply visiting a new place–even if it’s just across town–can offer further insight to the world around us. Even reading books, fiction or nonfiction, can also offer unique and salient views of others.

Shift Your View, Shape the World 🌎

In closing, I challenge all of us to avoid getting stuck in life as if in a dream. Instead, let’s keep changing the channel. With each click out of our comfort zone, we gain a more nuanced understanding, broaden our perspective, and foster greater compassion for the world and humanity itself. In fact, by doing so, we might not only expand our viewpoint, but we may also alter the viewpoint of someone else we meet along the way.

A collection of blue sticky notes with handwritten motivational words: 'ACCEPT', 'LOVE', 'SUPPORT', 'ADVOCATE', 'EMPOWER', 'TEACH', 'HOPE'.
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Cultivating Compassion in a Clamorous World

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Your work is not to drag the world kicking and screaming into a new awareness.  Your job is to simply do your work . . .sacredly, secretly, silently . . .and those with ‘eyes to see and ears to hear’ will respond.”–Unknown

A row of shopping carts with red seats lined up in a parking area, creating a visual of retail readiness.
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A Quiet Act of Compassion 🤫

I was recently in a local dollar store. There was a person checking out that was $5.00 short of the total amount needed to pay their bill.  The clerk patiently waited while the person checking out asked their companion if they had cash on them. When the companion did have any cash, the clerk quietly offered to give the person the $5.00 stating, “I know what it’s like to come up short when it comes to money.”

This act of unpretentious compassion remained with me for days. The clerk was not doing it for recognition, she spoke too discreetly for that. If I had not been nearby when she offered the money, no one would have witnessed her act of generosity.  

In stark contrast to this sales clerk, however, we are enmeshed in a clamorous, overstimulating, attention-seeking era. Loud-speaking voices vye for our attention as do flashy images, catchy phrases, and repeated catch phrases–all playing the game of who can garner the most attention, especially on social media platforms, news outlets, and marketing campaigns. In fact, it often seems to me that bullying, arrogance, and even superficiality are now considered acceptable, if not desired, traits. While characteristics such as humility, deep listening, and thoughtful consideration are undervalued or overlooked. 

A man in a suit appears to be angrily shouting or expressing frustration while leaning over a wooden table.
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The Clamor of Modern Society 📢

Furthermore, the use of repetitive, often vitriolic, messaging can undermine our own belief systems if we are not careful and purposeful with our daily habits. In fact, popular messaging and marketing, if exposed to it often enough, can even degrade the way we choose to comport ourselves on a daily basis. Our ability to remain authentically aligned to our core beliefs and values can be further degraded with continued exposure.

How do we remain steadfast in our core values, much less act as an agent of civility, courtesy, and even compassion with others, like that store clerk, in the midst of a popularized contrarianism?  Do we completely avoid social media, news outlets, and other outside sources of information and entertainment?  Do we cut ourselves off from the outside world and live as hermit?  Certainly not. 

Scrabble tiles arranged to spell 'WE RISE BY LIFTING OTHERS' against a plain white background.
Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com

Cultivating Grounding Practices 🙏

I do believe it is possible to stay true and aligned to a path of decency and decorum. It does, however, require acting with a certain level of discipline, such as limiting time spent on social media, watching/reading news, streaming services, and so forth.  Additionally, it further requires creating habits/regular practices that support and deepen our foundational beliefs, such as prayer/meditation, regularly reading scriptures or sacred texts, and/or connecting with like-minded people that enhance, strengthen, and support our values. These deliberate habits of personal energy keeps us grounded and moving forward along a path of integrity.

A smiling woman in a black sleeveless top seated in a modern setting with green plants in the background.
Photo by Alexander Suhorucov on Pexels.com

Leading through authenticity 😃

By living authentically and intentionally, we don’t need a megaphone or platform to share our message.  Instead, we can focus on our primary responsibility, which is to cultivate our own work and/or calling in order to positively contribute to the world around us.  It is not necessary to proselytize and strive for attention in order to do this; our actions can speak for themselves.

If we choose to live and work from a place of inner strength, we can foster the power of a quiet presence, leading by example rather than boasting and posting all of the ways others should live/act/work. This doesn’t mean that we don’t set expectations for ourselves, or for others, if we happen to be in a leadership position, it just means we don’t publicly berate others who don’t meet those standards, nor do we boast about our own accomplishments. Rather, we can strive to strike a balance between leading by example and fostering an attitude of support in order to lift up others, so that they, too, can reach their potential. Helping others reach expectations can be achieved without a bully-pulpit.

A family walking by a lake, with an adult female holding a camera and interacting with a young child on a balance bike, while another adult male walks alongside them.
Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

Trust the process

Of course, there will always be times of resistance and discouragement, both personally and when working with others. However, forcing or attempting to control often leads to more resistance.  I know as a teacher, and on a personal level, when asking a child–or myself for that matter–to learn a new and difficult task, the more I push the child, or myself, the more resistance I often encounter. 

Sometimes, we have to step back and trust the natural unfolding of awareness, which isn’t easy.  It often takes time, space, and many attempts that end in failure before the a-ha moment arrives. However, by allowing others, or ourselves, to awaken at their (our) own pace, we create a more sustainable and respectful relationship with others and/or with our own work

Two hands engaged in a handshake, symbolizing connection and support, with a group of people in the background.
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Be a catalyst for change

The power to be a catalyst for change resides within ourselves and within others, but it doesn’t require force or brash tactics. Instead of being rude, loud, or stridently trying to convince or control others, we can choose instead to live with consistent habits that foster our integrity, allowing us to lead by example, and work for change through our actions, choosing to empower, encourage, and uplift those around us. By quietly setting an example, embodying our core values, faith, and beliefs, our presence can inspire and affect the world around us.

Generosity Ripples

Witnessing that one small act, served as a reminder that our energy and intentions have the power to make an impact. It further illustrates the importance of humble generosity–doing the right and/or kind thing quietly and habitually, without fanfare or need for attention, can still have a positive influence that spreads. Just as a spring petal falls from its tree and gently floats on currents of air until it lands on the waters of a nearby stream, creating ripples from the center of the stream to its banks, so do deeds of goodness and mercy continue on.

A quote encouraging kindness in a simple, elegant font on a light background.

Thrive Through Love: Lessons From Plants

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“We must cultivate our own garden.”–Voltaire 

Drooping from lack of water, my mosaic plant symbolizes our soul without enough attention, love, and supportive relationships.

As I walked into my classroom after spring break, making my way behind my desk, my mosaic plant greeted me with drooping leaves as if to say, “Where have you been?” 

“You poor thing!” I spoke aloud to it–as if it would reply. “I am so sorry. Let me get you some water.” 

Oh, sure, Dear Reader, roll-your-eyes and act as if you don’t talk to your plants. I have no shame in admitting it. Besides, scientific research has established that talking to your plants can create low-level vibrations that stimulate growth. However, since that is not the thesis of this essay, I won’t wander any further down that path. 

The unwatered mosaic plant had suffered alone in the silence of my classroom for well over a week without water. This particular plant requires frequent watering and rotation. When given this, it responds with perky growth and vivid color. Therefore, it was a sad, sickly sight. 

As I carefully began to water my plant, hanging limply in the pot, it reminded me of the way in which humans also need care and attention. Regular watering of plants supports photosynthesis and the roots ability to absorb nutrients from the soil, both of which foster growth. Likewise, when humans receive adequate hydration and adequate nutrition from a healthy, well-balanced diet, our bodies have a better chance of remaining healthy and vibrant.  

Plants, like humans, thrive best when nurtured from within and without.

Continuing to gently water and mist my wilted mosaic plant–yes, I was talking to it all the while–I was reminded of the ways in which humans can wilt from neglect. Our mind, body, and spirit, like my mosaic plant, need nurturing. Without it, our inner world can wither, and we will limp along with a spiritual heart that has a difficult time beating. 

However, with regular sprinklings of love, affection, and/or supportive relationships, our souls can remain hydrated. From faith-based practices to monthly outings with friends or family, from attention/love of a pet to simple interactions with a store clerk, and from exchanging kind words/texts with a neighbor, co-worker, or organization/club member to actions of self-care/love, there are countless ways in which our souls can be watered and nurtured. Therefore, it is vital that we practice engaging with others, so we won’t wilt from lack of love and support. 

Moving around the room to water my other plants, I realized they would soon need to be repotted with fresh, fertilized soil. Some would need a bigger pot than the container in which they currently dwelled. Fresh, fertilized soil, rich in nutrients, is vital for the health and well-being of my plants. New soil will provide a wide array of ingredients uniquely combined to fortify my plants against disease to help them grow healthy and strong.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Likewise, in order for us to thrive, we, too, need nourishment from a variety of sources. One way we can thrive is by establishing and maintaining a purpose-filled life. This purpose can change and evolve over time as we age and mature, but it needs to be a purpose that not only compels us out of bed each morning, but fuels our life with meaning. 

Creating and maintaining meaningful connections with others, especially when linked to our purpose, can further enrich our lives deeply. Fortification can also be found by mentoring/helping others as well as surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive influences. These types of relationships can form a reciprocal, two-way street, much like plants form with people, which can facilitate an ongoing source of nourishment in our lives. 

Once all the plants were watered, I began rotating each pot to allow all parts of each plant equal time to face and absorb the warmth of sunlight. Sunshine, like water, is needed for photosynthesis. It is only through the process of photosynthesis that plants can have the food needed for growth. When plants face the challenge of living inside a building, they overcome that challenge by growing toward a window, even if it causes the plant to grow with a lean. 

Photo by Khanh Le on Pexels.com

We, too, need to lean into sunshine. The sunshine of positive experiences can imbue us with warmth and motivate us to keep going. That motivation is especially important when we are faced with challenges, as life is never obstacle-free. However, by facing the unique challenge(s) life tends to throw our way, we can eventually discover the unique joy of overcoming difficult circumstances, or at the very least, grow stronger and more resilient from the effort put into overcoming.  

And when those life-challenges seem endless, as they often do, lasting beyond what we think is possible, it warms and strengthens the soul to find pleasure in the little things. From the sweet embrace of a loved one to the sound of birdsong in the morning, from the taste of a great cup of coffee (or whatever) with a friend to the aroma of fresh cookies baking in the oven, or perhaps reading a new book or playing an instrument–whatever you choose, these small delights can be the rays of sunshine that help get us through those dark days of difficulty. 

The object lesson provided by my mosaic plant reminded me that no living thing– humans included–benefits from neglect. When we lose sight of love, meaningful connections, purpose, and positive experiences, we will internally wither, which can manifest itself as physical ailments and/or mental health issues. Without proper care and nurturing, we can grow disheartened, disinterested, and even emotionally distressed or traumatized. 

Photo by Tristan Le on Pexels.com

However, we all have the potential to thrive. Let us strive to offer love and understanding to others and to ourselves. When we see someone hurting, let us find ways to lift them up. 

Likewise, when we recognize our own heart is hurting, let us tend to our own needs through acts of self-compassion, reaching out to others, or seeking other positive means to act as rays of sunshine to lift our spirits. Our time on this earth is short, let us seek productive methods to nourish and enrich others as well as our own lives, so that our life garden can blossom and flourish, no matter where we are planted.

The Art of Loving Unconditionally: Lessons from A River Runs Through It

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings
A scenic view of a river meandering through lush greenery under a blue sky with clouds.
The flow of a river.

Words of Wisdom From a Classic read 📖

One of my favorite stories is A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean. It is an exquisitely written, semi-biographical account of Maclean, and his brother, Paul, growing up in Montana as sons of a Presbyterian minister who taught his boys the art of fly-fishing. The movie version, directed by Robert Redford, captures the earnest beauty of Maclean’s prose. Both pieces weave together a tapestry of thought-provoking life themes centered around family love and connection (including unconditional love for a family member), grace, the fragility and brevity of life, and the eternal nature of time, with the art of fly-fishing as a metaphor as the unifying thread. 

The story’s emphasis on the complicated nature of the brothers’ relationship make it especially compelling and heart-wrenching. Therefore, I have revisited both works on numerous occasions. Each time I reread the story, (and subsequently watch the film) I discover a new gem and/or am reminded of a favorite part, such as a well-written phrase, a turn of words, a point of symbolism, and so forth. My most recent encounter with Maclean’s work was towards the end of December. 

There is a set of lines that stirs my heart every time I read them: 

“So it is . . .that we can seldom help anybody.  Either we don’t know what part to give or maybe we don’t like to give any part of ourselves.  Then, more often than not, the part that is needed is not wanted. And, even more often, we do not have the part that is needed.”

“We are willing to help, Lord, but what if anything is needed?”

Two boys hiking together by a river, wearing casual outdoor clothing and smiling at each other.
AI generated by WordPress.

How do we help others? 🧍🧍‍♂️

As I once more read each word, underlining and contemplating them in the quiet hours of morning, I reflected upon how, with each reading, those words still ring true, but their meaning evolves as I progress in age and life experience. Those bittersweet words bring to mind loved ones and students over the years for whom I have tried to help.

More recently, students of one of my classes and I were discussing their currently assigned book. The main character in their book grew up in a rough set of circumstances, and through a series of unfortunate events, wound up incarcerated in a juvenile detention center. One of the questions that book raises is: Can someone overcome their circumstances and change with the right intervention/outside help? 

The students debated valid points. Some endorsed the possibility that people can overcome their environment and change for the better. Others pointed out the difficulty of changing what has been hard wired into you. 

As the discussion continued, a student asked me what I thought. All eyes in the circle turned to me.

A silhouetted hand reaching out, symbolizing support and connection.
Photo by lalesh aldarwish on Pexels.com

Bittersweet reminder 🤔

Maclean’s words echoed in my mind as I carefully considered my response. Memories flooded my mind–former students and more personal situations in which I have been truly willing to help– offering extra time, extra care, and extra love. In many cases I have researched and offered suggestions of help–probably way too many with the presumption of, “I can help them fix it,” whatever “it ” may be.  I’ve further ridden the waves of the person’s ups and downs as they strive to overcome and change. I have been, and I still am, willing to help; Lord knows, but as Maclean so eloquently articulated, “{I}we can seldom help anybody.”

Helping others is a complicated process for which our hearts may be in the right place. However, as Maclean points out: most change within another person is not in our control.  Perhaps being willing to help is the best any of us can do unless asked–and even then–we can only offer our support; it is the person who must do the work within.  

Maybe, our support and love will help instigate the needed change, but there’s a strong chance that it won’t. Therefore, it is not our job to “fix” others; it is, instead, our job to love them.  Of course, we can still sincerely believe in the person and continue to pray and hope that the person will overcome their difficult situation or change for the better, but in the meantime we must accept them as they are. 

 Rather than say all of this to my students, I kept it simple. I shared my belief that by nature, hope springs eternal for me when it comes to believing in my students’ (and others’) capabilities for growth and change. I don’t think I could have remained an educator for nearly four decades if I did not believe that change and growth is possible for all of my students. 

A woman with long hair, dressed in dark clothing, is shown in a contemplative pose with her hands clasped together in front of her, against a dark background illuminated with red and blue lighting.
Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

Be Present 🙏

And, while I didn’t share this with my students, my belief and hope flows into my own personal life, too. However, my profession and personal experiences continue to inform me that overcoming what has been ingrained into you at a young age, be it genetic, environmental, or both, is difficult, even with the best help and support.  Furthermore, my experience has also humbly informed me that assuming the person wants help or wants to change is arrogant and so is thinking that we know how to help them.

This doesn’t mean we have to give up; rather, I am beginning to believe it’s about presence. We can be there for them by simply spending time with them as appropriate.  Likewise, we can provide positive support and encouragement, such as, answering the phone when they call, replying to a text they send, or being available to chat. 

Likewise, it doesn’t mean we go overboard using up all of our time and resources, leaving us emotionally, physically, or financially spent. Rather it’s important to find that fine line of being there, but not too much; having firm boundaries, but a welcoming heart/spirit. Mostly though, it seems important that we allow love to flow from us, like the waters of Big Blackfoot River in Maclean’s novella, so maybe on the person’s worst day, they will at least know that they are loved.  They. Are. Loved.

A close-up view of colorful puzzle pieces surrounding the words 'Accept. Understand. Love.' on a white background.
Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com

Unconditional love 💜

In the words of thought-leader and influencer, BrenĂŠ Brown, we must come to peace with the fact that “When you love someone unconditionally, you accept them for who they are, flaws and all.” And that, in the end, just as Maclean had to learn, must be enough. We can only change ourselves, no matter how much we want to help another. 

A chalkboard with the words 'HERE TO HELP' written in white letters on a black background.
Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

Embracing Limitations: Lessons from the Asheville Half Marathon

by stephsimply, posted in Travels

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”–Prayer for serenity

The Blue Ridge Mountains outside of Asheville, NC.

“the mountains are Calling . . .” ⛰️

I had been training for months, despite the challenges winter threw at me. Cold? I can handle it. Snow? I can run in it. Gusty wind? I can run that too. However, after my husband, John, and I crested hill after hill making our way into Asheville, North Carolina, I knew the town’s half marathon would offer a whole new level of challenge. 

To be clear, participating in the Asheville Half Marathon was an insignificant hurdle compared to what the people in Asheville, and all of the other residents of the surrounding areas/towns along US 23, have been facing as they deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Helene.

Driving along US 23, John, and I were able to witness that six months after Hurricane Helene angrily chewed through a large portion of the western Appalachian region, the recovery is still ongoing. However, the willful, and not-to-be-deterred, spirit of the residents was unmistakable. 

Rooftop view from Asheville of surrounding Blue Ridge Mountains.

A Tale of Two Sisters 👧 👧

This past fall, not long after Helene hit, the high school in which John and I work, welcomed two sisters into the student body.  They were from the Asheville area and were staying with relatives while their parents and older brother dealt with the devastation and destruction back home.

The girls were engaging and well-poised, especially considering their circumstances. Over the course of a couple months, I got to know them–not well due to the short duration of their stay–but well enough to swap personal stories from time to time. 

When they learned that like their dad, I often trained for half marathons, they immediately invited me to run the Asheville Half Marathon in March. They explained that by the time spring rolled around, the community would not be fully recovered, but the local economy would need the boost that runners and the accompanying spectators could bring. 

“You should definitely come, Ms. Hill.  You’d like the people of Asheville, especially the running community.” 

Once Asheville High School opened, the girls returned back home. And though I haven’t heard from them since, they planted a seed that grew into a shoot of curiosity. 

Runners were asked to sign the board stating why they ran.

Sign me up! 📝

Around Christmas, I checked the Asheville Marathon/Half Marathon website, and the powerful and persuasive prose describing the event increased my interest. The website’s editors artfully articulated the community’s belief in the significance of the annual running event. They stated the course’s route would not be “pristine or predictable.” Therefore, the event was for those who “thrive on resilience.” However, the line that sealed the deal stated, “If you’re ready to run in the face of adversity and be a part of Asheville’s comeback story, we can’t wait to see you on the start line!” 

John and I at gathering with other runners and spectators at the starting line before the race began.

Ready, set, Go! 🏁

Soon enough, on a chilly, dark March morning, I waited at the starting line with approximately 2,200 runners from 40 states and three countries who also heeded the call to help support Asheville, according to The Weather Channel. The positive vibe was palpable as runners mingled with spectators. Nonetheless, I was feeling a bit nervous as I recalled the half-marathon route’s elevation gain was nearly 800 feet, and its elevation loss was over 900.  

And, it was hilly.  From start to finish, there were no flat stretches. In the beginning, I read spectator signs claiming, “It’s all downhill from here,” with hope. It didn’t take long to realize those signs lied!  Even the finish line required running uphill, but I am “running” ahead of myself.

Running is a metaphor for living life, and it is always whispering (or sometimes shouting, as this event seemed to do) lessons to those of us willing to listen. Accepting limitations–was the lesson those relentless hills of Asheville taught me. Which makes sense since this is what many of the residents of Asheville and the western Appalachian area had to do during, and now after, the storm–accept and deal with limitations. 

Whether literal or metaphorical, storms of life cause us to suffer. As I repeatedly tried to power through those uphills during the first half, my ego kept telling me to push harder, creating suffering. However, as a late-in-life runner lacking inherent running talent, the reality is that race events for me are more about creating motivation and structure to consistently get me out the door to exercise. At the end of the day, I am not about to set any records; I am not even close to winning my age group, so why was I pushing so hard?

And so, it was on a hill, not long after milepost seven, that I decided to accept my limitations. Sure, I had trained on hills at home, but nothing like this. Why not power walk up the rest of the hills, and then run the downhill portions?

Asheville taught me to accept my limitations.

There is a newfound freedom in accepting one’s limitations 🏃‍♀️

Once I accepted my limitations, there was freedom. I had a new way of being present with the race challenges as they unfolded. This acceptance gave me permission to slow down, take in the sites, and feel a sense of gratitude for my health and ability to make this trip. 

Additionally, by walking the hills, I had more energy to offer encouragement to fellow runners I encountered who also seemed to be struggling. (After all, I run at the back of the pack, where we could all benefit from a little encouragement.) Furthermore, I was also able to offer thanks to the spectators who manned drink stations, rang cowbells, or waved motivating signs with clever phrases such as, “Touch here for power,” “You’re stronger than any storm,” or “You’re running better than our government.” 

By the time I crossed the uphill finish line, tears filled my eyes as I raised my hands in the air.  No, I wasn’t celebrating a personal record, but instead, I was able to celebrate that I crossed the finish line with grace, humility, and a lesson learned. 

The AVL finish line of through which I would later cross humbled, and grateful, by another lesson running once more provided me.

The lesson? Transforming suffering can only occur if we are willing to be with it and accept the limitations it creates. Accepting limitations can be transformatively freeing, allowing us to lean into newly created possibilities we may not have been able to previously envision. I am not saying that accepting our limitations is not easy. However, once we let go of ego and embrace humility, it is possible to embrace the freedom that comes with focusing on what we CAN do.

Thank you , Asheville! I walk away from the finish line with grateful heart and a lesson learned. Furthermore, thank you, Hannah and Allison! I wish your family the best! 💜

Finding Service and Joy in Every Job: Lessons from a cleaner

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“recalling unceasingly before our God and Father your work energized by faith, and your service motivated by love and unwavering hope . . .” 1 Thessalonians 1:3 (Amplified Bible)

What a difference one person can make😃

I had a feeling when I walked into my classroom one frosty January morning and observed the unswept floor, Mr. King (name changed for privacy) had not been in my classroom over Christmas break. Not that I typically permit my students to leave trash and debris on the classroom floor; however, I noticed there were a few pieces of notebook paper, pink pencil eraser dust, and a random pen lid dropped to the floor.  

Thanks, in large part to Mr. King, my classroom floor was usually immaculate. Was he sick? When I saw him, he appeared to be fighting some sort of virus. Picking up what I could off the floor, I thought of Mr. King, and the way he approached his work. However, students had begun to arrive, and I knew I would have to set aside my current strands of thought.

Later in the week, I ran across a quote that reminded me of Mr. King: “You are always doing spiritual work. It is not necessarily the action that is important, but how you do it.” (Satchidananda) I thought of his smile, his positive attitude, and the can-do energy he brought with him to his work. 

Photo by Liliana Drew on Pexels.com

Each Job is part of a Bigger Picture 🧹

I first met Mr. King during the summer before school started. He was part of a professional cleaning crew hired by our school. We occasionally chatted while we both worked, if he happened to be completing a task in my classroom. During one of those chats, we said his cleaning job mattered because he felt he was part of the team helping the students to have a successful school year.  

“If I don’t do my job, then you have to do my job, which means you don’t have as much time to focus on your students and that means their learning suffers.  It’s all a chain, y’see?”

Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

Working with Joy 🎶

Once the school year was under way, I would often hear Mr. King, after school hours, singing/humming in the next classroom as he swept. It was a joyful energy, his voice pitching high and low as he worked. 

Some days, after students were dismissed and I remained getting caught up on work, Mr. King would respectfully knock and ask if I minded him coming in to sweep. Never wanting to interfere with his cleaning schedule, I welcomed him in. 

No matter how busy Mr. King was, he would take time to ask about my husband and me. Then, he tended to have some sort of question or story for me to ponder. It was a delightful give and take, and he was most interested in improving himself, body, mind, and spirit.

Though our conversations were never longer than three or four minutes, I was left with the impression that Mr. King was a deeply faith-filled man who had made mistakes, knew he wasn’t perfect, but still had the desire and heart to improve.

He especially seemed to want his life to be of good service. To this end, he once said, “I am working. Am I not? But how am I doing it? That’s what’s real.” 

Photo by Antoni Shkraba on Pexels.com

OUr Work Ethic speaks for us 🤓

Later in the month of January, another coworker said Mr. King went back to Florida, from where he was originally, in order to be closer to his family

Upon hearing this, I recalled he once took a phone call from his daughter while sweeping my classroom. Returning from the hallway into which he had stepped to talk with her, he looked wistful, adding, “I worry about her.”

Photo by Ivan Samkov on Pexels.com

simple ways we can be of SErvice to others: 😃

The memory of Mr. King’s work ethic now serves as a reminder to me that no matter what job we have, we can find ways for our work to be of service to others. Here are some of the ways, Mr. King demonstrated this:

Work with joy. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have challenging or difficult days. Rather, we can still have something for which to feel joyful IN SPITE of circumstances, and that joy can become contagious. Mr. King appeared to find and share joy by singing/humming and smiling outwardly. Even on those days where I could tell something was bothering him, he still offered me a smile and a sincere greeting. 

Find the meaning in your work. Mr. King believed his work was important because he was contributing to the overall well-being and success of students, teachers, and staff. He often spoke about how much he liked the teachers and students he met and was glad he could do his part to help our school. 

Work hard, but take time to pay attention to others. Mr. King was an efficient and effective cleaner, but he still took time to greet staff members by name. If he learned something special about someone, he would ask questions about that special-something and would later refer to it in passing conversations. He was the master of personalized small talk.

Remain flexible and responsive to the needs/priorities of the day. If a worker was out, or a new worker was being trained (which was often), I would frequently overhear Mr. King fielding calls to answer questions and/or offer help. He appeared to adapt his schedule in stride to accommodate necessary changes. Even then, if he saw John, my husband, or me, he’d pause with a “Y’all doin’ ok?” or “You and Mr. John take care this evenin’.” 

Be empathetic and compassionate. Throughout the time Mr. King worked at our school, I observed several occasions when he took time to interact with students who looked frustrated, down, or who simply seemed alone. He’d ask, “You doin’ ok, buddy?” or offer another kind phrase in an attempt to bring a smile to a kid’s face. Then he went right back to work, whistling or humming as he went.  

It’s not what you do, but how you do it. Mr. King epitomized this. A radiant smile never seemed to leave his face while working. Furthermore, he demonstrated to his coworkers, and those with whom he encountered, that he cared, was interested, and desired to uplift the small piece of world his work-life encompassed.  

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

final thoughts🤔

None of Mr. King’s skills are life shattering or new ideas. However, in a world where it currently appears acceptable to be ill-mannered, ill-tempered, non-empathetic, and even outright bully others to get your way, Mr. King’s skills and attitude were a refreshing change of pace. Imagine the amount of good that could be generated if more people thought about HOW they worked, spoke, and acted–if more people would choose to be truly service-driven, energized by faith and motivated by love and hope. How much more would be accomplished . . .if only.

The Power of Silence: Reflections on Mindfulness Retreat

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“In the silence of the heart, God speaks.” Mother Teresa

Photo by Ali Elfaziki on Pexels.com

Silent Retreat? 🧘‍♀️

I don’t remember exactly how the conversation went, but I was enjoying lunch with a friend on a Saturday when she told me she was attending a silent meditation retreat in two weeks, and asked if I would be interested in it. The retreat, she said, was sponsored by The Mindfulness Tree, a meditation community in Charleston, WV, and it would be led by Dr. Christine L. Blice-Baum, MDiv, DMA. Curiosity bloomed, and in a matter of days, I was also registered for the retreat.

In the days leading up to the retreat, I vacillated between feelings of excitement and thoughts of “what-have-I-got-myself-into?” The retreat required spending time in silence with complete strangers, excluding my friend, of course. I kept reminding myself that it wouldn’t be any different than going to an appointment or to the store with numerous others I don’t know. Never once, however, did it cross my mind that this retreat would provide multiple opportunities to come face-to-face with my mind’s resistance and its desire for distractibility.

Photo by Obi Onyeador on Pexels.com

Put away those devices 📲

Upon arrival, all participants in the retreat were asked to put up our phones and take off our smartwatches until the time of our departure. We had the choice to leave our devices in our car, in our own purse/bag, or stow them in a zip lock bag that was put away until the end of retreat.  I chose the latter option as a symbolic break-away from technology and, in all honesty, to reduce any temptation to peek in my bag at either device during the day. 

Not having technology was one of the first minor “discomforts” I repeatedly noticed. It began when I tried to check the outside temperature by looking at my wrist, and then did it several more times! What time is it? No smartwatch. Does the radar show my hometown receiving as much rain as here?  No phone. Blice-Baum just shared a great idea; I should type that in my notes. No phone. I should take a picture of the church’s pipe organ. No phone. Did my husband remember to  . . . . 

Participants in seated meditation.

Lessons of Stillness 🤫

This was my first a-ha moment. I was astounded to realize the amount of time my mind spends in a day consumed with thoughts of all the ways I can implement/use my smartphone and its companion watch. What’s crazy is that I am not a big user of social media, so I had this notion that giving up my devices would not be a big deal. While on one hand, it wasn’t, on the other hand, I was humbled to realize, social media consumer or not, my mind has been trained to be distracted by devices. 

The second big lesson had to do with a notion known as “custody of the eyes”–averting the gaze to avoid visual distractions in order to maintain focus. This practice was a challenge throughout the entirety of the session. 

The retreat schedule was well organized, sessions of seated meditation were interspersed with walking, movement, and standing mediations; however, my mind kept wandering and niggling me to look around at my surroundings. During walking and movement meditations, I had to keep redirecting my attention back to the meditation focus at hand because my mind had the tendency to wander off into people-watching mode. 

Participants take part in a silent walking meditation

The third lesson: I also squabbled with my mind’s habit of entering “squirrel-mode”–moments when something in the environment, or on the wall caught my attention, and my mind would launch off into associations with whatever my eyes had noticed. I knew I was distractible, but I never realized my mind was like a puppy visiting a new environment.

Another eye-opener occurred during our silent lunch. Blice-Baum, after sharing a prayer of gratitude and blessing for the food, led the participants through a short exercise of mindful eating. Then, we were directed to continue to enjoy our meal in silence, engaging all of our senses in the eating experience. This was when my mind really rebelled.  

Since I was a young girl reading the backs of cereal boxes at the breakfast table, I have always read while eating–newspapers, magazines, books–which were later replaced with digital versions. Without such distraction, I noticed my tendency to want to eat quickly and my eyes repeatedly searched around for something on which to focus other than my food. It took time for my mind to settle, slow down, and focus on taste and other sensations associated with the simple act of eating. This was a shocker because I love the taste, textures, and fragrance of food. In fact, I love to eat, but I clearly need to practice eating mindfully more often.

Group picture of participants.

Positive takeaways 🙌

In spite of all the mental obstacles and resistance I experienced throughout the retreat, I walked away feeling refreshed and renewed. Remaining fully focused and present on one’s own breath, a mantra, or an image isn’t easy, but there is something to be said about taking time to slow down and focus on one thing at a time. I felt as if I was coming home to my heart, and my own inner knowing, despite the fact I had to repeatedly redirect my mind like a toddler walking around the Tamarack Marketplace.

Would I do another silent meditation retreat? Absolutely! Many of the things that had been worrying me when I arrived at the retreat felt less weighty when I left. I experienced a recommitment to my personal practice of meditation/mindfulness and was inspired by new techniques to incorporate, not only in my own practice, but also to include with the yoga/mindfulness class I teach at school. Furthermore, in the days that have followed, there has been an overall increase in my sense of gratitude, along with a renewed sense of purpose. I have also noticed a calmer mind with a significant decrease in the power of those negative voices that love to chatter about in my head.

 Most of all, I am much more aware of how easily and quickly my mind can be distracted. These mental diversions on the surface seem as shiny and fun as a carousel ride to a young child, but they can lead to avoidance of the moment at hand–knowledge and understanding of what is going on in the here and now. Therefore, focus––especially given all the digital distractions–more than ever requires diligence, dedication, and continued redirection. And, one of the best ways to do this is the practice of meditation, mindfully completing tasks, or by simply connecting with our own breath.

Photo by Vie Studio on Pexels.com

Interested in Learning more?

If you are interested in learning more about meditation, would like more information about The Mindfulness Tree, or would like to connect with Blice-Baum, please visit www.themindfulnesstree.life. 

Dr. Christine L. Blice-Baum, MDiv, DMA

Navigating Life’s Uncertainties One Moment at a Time

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Take one moment at a time and do the next right thing.”–Eleanor Amerman Sutphen

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What Did I hear? 👂

My ears perked up when I heard the guest on a podcast share the above phrase based upon  a poem by Sutphen, but made popular by both Elisabeth Elliot and Carl Jung. I had just arrived home with several bags filled with groceries to put away. Setting down the bags, I typed the phrase into my phone’s reminder app in order to remember it. Then, ironically enough, I returned to the next moment: putting away the groceries.

Like a persistent earworm, that phrase kept looping through my brain. Maybe it was Divine Providence, or maybe my subconscious niggled me to recognize the words I needed to hear. Regardless, the universe had offered me a nugget of wisdom to the question I had been asking, but had not yet been able to fully articulate: What can I do in the face of the difficult and uncertain life moment in which I found myself?  

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Snowy Days can lead to Sluggish Ways 😏

The month of January was a slippery, and less than stellar, start to the new year.  All around me, icy roads, alleys, and sidewalks served as a reminder that I was struggling to find my footing. As one who is not naturally organized and often has no sense of time, I function optimally with a routine/schedule.  It’s not that I can’t “go with the flow.”  I can do that quite brilliantly, but I don’t accomplish nearly as much, nor do I make as many–if any–inroads towards goals.

It is as if I have been dropped deep into a dark and menacing forest filled with a multitude of statuesque tree shadows and brambling thorny briers. Meanwhile, a multitude of strands in life’s web are criss-crossing in ways that make it feel less integrous, as if at any moment, the winds will shift and blow a hole in the tenuous gossamer nexus of life. I sense time sliding sideways, and I am trying to find my footing, so I don’t fall into the thin ice at the center of the mostly frozen pond. Arms flapping this way and that way, steps shortening, stumbling, and struggling to remain upright because I need to find my stride once more. 

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The Struggle Can be Real 😞

I am not the first, nor am I alone, I suspect, in feeling “something” akin to a crisis–a time in life when I find myself deeply questioning my purpose, my identity, and my role in all that is occurring. It is a time where I feel helpless to help others who need it but won’t accept it; a time with still unachieved goals and dreams, but I struggle to see, much less find, the path forward; and, a time in which I frequently ask myself: Am I doing the best I can with this one precious life I have been given?

Personally speaking, it feels as if the to-do list grows longer by the day, but few items are getting marked off.  While all around me, events, completely out of my control, dictate more chaos. Pixelated ideas frequent my mind, but my brain resists zooming in and focusing on any one thought as if the identity of each idea has been hidden like a person being interviewed for an investigative, undercover documentary. Overthinking, second-guessing, and a feeling of dormancy have entered my mental home and overstayed their welcome. 

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The Sweet Lesson of Winter Trees ❄️

As I write these words, I pause to gaze out at the trees in my backyard. They too are experiencing dormancy. Deciduous trees have slowed their internal processes and metabolism, halting their own growth in order to conserve energy. Inside the trees, cells have hardened and shrunk. Additionally, the water between the cells has frozen, and the water inside cells is becoming more dense and syrupy. Some trees even grow thicker bark in the winter to create a sheath of preservation until warmer temperatures arrive when growth and leaf production can once more occur.

I take a deep breath and feel the rise of my belly. Dawn’s light has gifted another overcast winter morning. The birds have also risen–chirp, chirp, chirping the gossip of a new day. The rise and fall of their flight, along with their up and down hip-hops along tree branches make me smile. I sigh out the exhale I had been holding, noticing the fall of my belly. With each breath I take, as I continue to ponder the nature beyond my window, I can’t help but notice the rising and falling of my stomach.

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The Rising and the Falling 🌅🌄

The sunrise, the trees, the birds, and even my breath remind me that everything is subject to rising and falling. Our pain and sadness, our joys and happiness, and even current events are all impermanent, rising and falling with the various seasons of life. This season of personal dormancy that has banked to new heights in my mind will eventually thaw like the melting of the once-deep snow. This is the nature of impermanence–the rising and the falling–nothing can last forever. 

Thus, these dark doldrums of winter housed in my mental guest room might be offering me an opportunity to do less, perhaps allowing my creative juices and energy to fully concentrate and thicken, much like the trees in my backyard, into the sweet syrup of forward progress. It will just take the sweet essence of time. And the only way to get there from the dark passages of here is to take one breath, one moment at a time and keep choosing to do the next right thing.