“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage for opportunity and growth,” Betty Freidan
Another Year Celebrated 🎂
By the time you read this, I will have added a new score to my age. If life were a game, I’d definitely be a winning football score, and accruing a lead score in a basketball game. You know what? I am okay with that. Next year, I’ll be in a new decade, but for now, I plan on savoring my last full year in this decade.
A Chance Encounter 👩🏽🦳
The night before writing this piece, my husband, John, and I chaperoned a high school homecoming dance for the school in which we teach. It was held at a local country club. Throughout the evening, guests at the club’s restaurant often exited via the hall outside of the room, where the students were dancing, and I happened to be supervising. Many of the restaurant’s patrons tended to speak as they walked by, mostly asking questions about what group was inside the buffet/ballroom.
One lady was particularly chatty, energetic, and enthusiastic. She talked out of one side of her mouth as if everything she was telling me was a secret for my ears only. In particular, she wanted me to note that she refused to have any surgical enhancements done to her face, including botox, “. . . and don’t I look good?”
Sound Advice 🧑💼
Her comment made me smile as she went on to “give me some advice.” She explained that she used to say that she was 78 years old, “but I wised up a few years ago.” Instead, she states her age without adding the phrase, “years old.” In her words, this reframed her way of thinking about her “years on earth,” and allows her to focus on the fact that she has “lived experience,” with room for more.
She wrapped-up her short, one-sided conversation by saying, with a tilt of her head towards the room with dancing and singing students, that she didn’t want to “do that again.”
“We’re supposed to age. You know? It’s part of life. The real question, honey, is, are you living? It’s the living that counts!” With that, she winked and walked away.
Conscious Aging
The unknown women’s spunk got me thinking about attitudes towards aging. It seemed she was echoing the idea of “conscious aging,” also known as “conscious eldering.” According to the Association of Health Care Journalists, the goal of conscious aging is aimed at shifting “attitudes and thinking away from self-limitation, isolation, and fear” to viewing the senior years as the time of life for pursuing “passion, engagement, and service in the community.”
This same woman further touched on this point by talking about her lack of medical, anti-aging intervention. As it turns out, depending upon the source, the global anti-aging market is currently valued at $37-62 billion, and it is projected to grow in value to $65-93 billion. These estimates speak to the fact that as a whole, we culturally tend to reject the aging process.
It is unfortunate because it creates a climate that fosters a fear of aging rather than viewing it as a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, it’s important to examine where our beliefs about aging come from. Just because a parent/grandparent/other relative had a health condition associated with a certain age, doesn’t mean we will do that same. The stories we tell ourselves matter as they tend to affect and influence our attitudes, beliefs, and even our relationship with aging according to a 2023 New York Times article.
Identify age-appropriate Role models
In order to flip our own personal narratives about aging, let’s identify role models around us who embrace or model a healthy view of aging. They don’t have to be record-breaking 95-year olds, rather seniors who are active, engaged, and living with purpose. At the same time, let’s make choices related to aging that are authentic to our own values. We may admire our 85-year old neighbor who still plays golf, colors their gray hair, and volunteers at a dog shelter, but it doesn’t mean all of their choices are right for us. Instead, let’s use that admiration as inspiration to forge our own unique path of embracing and fully living during the senior years.
Engage across decades
Additionally, let’s engage across generations. Interacting and engaging with all ages across a multitude of decades is beneficial for all. It allows us to see a broad range of perspectives, which can prevent us from becoming too narrow-minded. And, in my experience, being around those who are younger, keeps us younger.
embrace change as a natural part of Life
Another big issue related to aging is learning to cope with and accept change associated with the aging process. Conscious aging means just that–we are conscious of the aging process, which means we are dealing with age-related changes in our bodies as they occur. What it doesn’t mean is tossing in the proverbial towel and sitting on the sidelines. We still need to take care of ourselves by exercising and eating well, but we may need to adjust our expectations according to our own bodies’ needs–which varies from person to person. For example, there are plenty of people older than me who can run faster, but I run at the pace that is best for me.
Embrace REality with optimism
Additionally, embrace reality, including the changes, optimistically. For example, when training for a half-marathon, I focus my training on crossing the finish line, rather than focusing on my finish time. I am grateful for a healthy body, and I am grateful that I can train for a marathon. However, I still work full-time, and I have plenty of other interests, so I focus on the adventure that goes along with training and the joy that comes from experiencing the event instead of a specific finish time goal.
Live with purpose
This brings me to my next point, let’s live and age with purpose. While I do have plans to eventually formally retire from full-time work, as long as my body and mind are healthy, I don’t ever see myself not engaged in some form of teaching. I may one day change to a setting outside the formal constraints of a school system, or focus instead on my writing, which is, for me, is a form of teaching. However, I optimistically plan to continue teaching, in some form, because it gives me purpose, allows me to help others, and keeps me cognitively and socially engaged with others. It is my fountain of youth!
learn new things
Plus, teaching also forces me to continuously learn new things, which is beneficial at any age. Furthermore, by consciously choosing to continue to work, older adults challenge societal ageist-constructs that often purport the notion that older adults aren’t as capable as their younger counterparts. When in reality, most workplaces often benefit from employees across a spectrum of ages and experience levels.
In the end, the woman I met summed it up well when she pointed to the fact that humans are supposed to age, but it’s “the living that counts!” Therefore, instead of focusing on the number of our age, let’s focus on living well.
Make a difference. Share the joy. Celebrate life.
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Steph Simply 