Author: stephsimply

Mastering the Art of Listening: Key Techniques

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”–Stephen R. Covey

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Listening is an Art 🎨

I listened to an acquaintance share a problem with me. I tried to fully listen, and then proceeded to offer my best advice.  Later, however, I reflected upon that conversation and wondered if I should have responded differently.  Was she really seeking advice, or did she just want someone to listen and empathize with her? Perhaps, I should have taken more time acknowledging her feelings, and then asked if she wanted advice, instead of assuming she wanted it.

Listening, really listening to others, is a skill and an art. I once heard a speaker say, “Hearing is uncontrollable; listening takes a special knack.” This is so true. We are constantly inundated, it seems, with an assortment of sounds, clamor, and all types of conversations.

 I was reminded of this quote in a past conversation with my daughter, Maddie. We were, ironically enough, talking about listening.  Specifically, I wondered aloud about ways to improve my own listening. She shared with me what a friend once taught her.

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Three ways of listening 👂

According to Maddie’s friend, there are three types of listeners: Those who listen to respond; those who listen to react or criticize; and, those who listen to understand.  This stuck with me, and I decided to do a short bit of research into this topic. 

One quick internet search on “types of listening” resulted in hundreds of articles. Some pieces were geared more towards high school or college students taking communication classes.  Others were framed around mental health. However, based upon my informal searches, business/work implications seem to make up the largest number of “ways to listen” write-ups.

While I can’t claim to have done the deepest research dive, what I did find seemed to support the overall point of what Maddie shared with me–there are different types of listeners and a number of identifiable ways of listening.  It seems the biggest point of agreement is that most of us can, and would probably benefit from, improving our own listening skills.  What mostly varies, from article to article, is the identification of how many different listening types/styles there are.  

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Two Other types of Listening 🎧

Two types of listening that Maddie’s friend did not identify were what several articles called “pseudo listening” and “appreciative listening.” Pseudo listening are those times when we pretend to listen, but we are not really absorbing the speaker’s information.  This can occur across a wide array of situations, from the classroom to the board room, and from having the TV or radio on in the background to a person droning on and on about a topic for which you have little interest, but don’t want to be rude.

Appreciative listening is the type of listening we engage in when listening to a favorite song or piece of music.  It can also occur when listening to a presentation or speaker talking about a favorite subject.  You are not, per se, learning anything new, just appreciating the appeal of the subject matter.

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Listening to Respond 🗣️

To the point of “listening to respond,” there are several key points.  First of all, in day-to-day life, there are numerous situations which require listening carefully and responding quickly. From minute tasks, such as ordering food, when the staff asks how you want a certain dish served to listening to a friend or loved one ask if you could lend a hand, there are moments that require listening and responding/acting accordingly.  

However, some situations require more than just a response. There are times when we need to analyze before responding. This action-oriented form of listening, requires dialed-in focus and a timely response in order to efficiently deliver information. Doctors, teachers, pharmacists, lawyers, and numerous other types of jobs require this type of listening, which analyzes the person’s problem from a neutral point of view in order to guide the patient, student, client, and so forth to what is, hopefully, an appropriate solution.  Although the listener is still responding, the listener is responding from a point of thoughtful consideration in order to best help the person solve the problem.

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Listening to react 🙎‍♂️

Another action-oriented form of listening focuses on the content of the message in order to react or criticize.  This type of listening is designed to judge the content of what is being said as well as the reliability of the source or speaker. Obviously, if you are an attorney, arguing before the court for your client, this type of listening is clearly a very important skill. However, in all walks of life there are times we must listen and react defensively to a given situation. Unfortunately, this type of listening can become aggressive quickly, especially when applied to a situation in which a less-reactive approach would have better benefitted the situation. 

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Listening to understand 🤔

  Finally, there are times when we need to truly focus on the person, listen closely to their content in order to understand, empathize, and perhaps even build connections. This is typically the hardest style of listening to develop, but it is worth fostering in order to build and sustain relationships. Listening to understand is a skill many of us need to improve, including myself. Due to our jobs or positions in life, a large number of us spend our work days quickly analyzing, and responding to others’ problems; and therefore, this type of listening, unfortunately, tends to become our default mode of listening even in situations where it would be better to remain quiet longer in order to connect with and fully understand the speaker.

Learning to listen to the underlying emotion conveyed in a person’s message requires active and participatory listening.  This may require clarifying questions, but other times, it simply means offering space–a safe, quiet space where a person can simply share their thoughts and feelings without judgment or interruptions.  

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Space for listening 🤐

Sometimes, people just want to be heard and aren’t necessarily asking for a so-called “solution.”  This is where, Maddie suggested, I might need to ask, “Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?”  It is such a simple concept, but this clarifying question clears up any confusion on the listener’s part as to what their role is. 

Reflecting back to that initial conversation with an acquaintance made me wish I had clarified whether or not the person wanted me to listen, offer advice, or both.  Unfortunately, I cannot go back in time, but moving forward, I can ask that in future conversations. Listening well and listening appropriately to the situation does indeed take a special knack, but even more so, it requires us to think before we choose whether to respond, react, or criticize.  It requires that we slow down our thoughts, listen deeply, and if needed, take time to clarify what the person speaking needs from us.  In the end, not only will those with whom we interact benefit from our awareness, but we may find that our own relationships, work settings, family- and even community-dynamics shift and may even benefit as well.

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Embracing Aging: Opportunities for Growth

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage for opportunity and growth,” Betty Freidan 

Another Year Celebrated 🎂

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By the time you read this, I will have added a new score to my age.  If life were a game, I’d definitely be a winning football score, and accruing a lead score in a basketball game. You know what?  I am okay with that.  Next year, I’ll be in a new decade, but for now, I plan on savoring my last full year in this decade. 

A Chance Encounter 👩🏽‍🦳

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The night before writing this piece, my husband, John, and I chaperoned a high school homecoming dance for the school in which we teach. It was held at a local country club. Throughout the evening, guests at the club’s restaurant often exited via the hall outside of the room, where the students were dancing, and I happened to be supervising. Many of the restaurant’s patrons tended to speak as they walked by, mostly asking questions about what group was inside the buffet/ballroom.

One lady was particularly chatty, energetic, and enthusiastic.  She talked out of one side of her mouth as if everything she was telling me was a secret for my ears only.  In particular, she wanted me to note that she refused to have any surgical enhancements done to her face, including botox, “. . . and don’t I look good?”

Sound Advice 🧑‍💼

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Her comment made me smile as she went on to “give me some advice.”  She explained that she used to say that she was 78 years old, “but I wised up a few years ago.”  Instead, she states her age without adding the phrase, “years old.”  In her words, this reframed her way of thinking about her “years on earth,” and allows her to focus on the fact that she has “lived experience,” with room for more. 

She wrapped-up her short, one-sided conversation by saying, with a tilt of her head towards the room with dancing and singing students, that she didn’t want to “do that again.”  

“We’re supposed to age.  You know?  It’s part of life. The real question, honey, is, are you living?  It’s the living that counts!”  With that, she winked and walked away.

Conscious Aging

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The unknown women’s spunk got me thinking about attitudes towards aging. It seemed she was echoing the idea of “conscious aging,” also known as “conscious eldering.” According to the Association of Health Care Journalists, the goal of conscious aging is aimed at shifting “attitudes and thinking away from self-limitation, isolation, and fear” to viewing the senior years as the time of life for pursuing “passion, engagement, and service in the community.” 

This same woman further touched on this point by talking about her lack of medical, anti-aging intervention. As it turns out, depending upon the source, the global anti-aging market is currently valued at $37-62 billion, and it is projected to grow in value to $65-93 billion.  These estimates speak to the fact that as a whole, we culturally tend to reject the aging process.

It is unfortunate because it creates a climate that fosters a fear of aging rather than viewing it as a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, it’s important to examine where our beliefs about aging come from.  Just because a parent/grandparent/other relative had a health condition associated with a certain age, doesn’t mean we will do that same. The stories we tell ourselves matter as they tend to affect and influence our attitudes, beliefs, and even our relationship with aging according to a 2023 New York Times article. 

Identify age-appropriate Role models

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In order to flip our own personal narratives about aging, let’s identify role models around us who embrace or model a healthy view of aging. They don’t have to be record-breaking 95-year olds, rather seniors who are active, engaged, and living with purpose. At the same time, let’s make choices related to aging that are authentic to our own values.  We may admire our 85-year old neighbor who still plays golf, colors their gray hair, and volunteers at a dog shelter, but it doesn’t mean all of their choices are right for us. Instead, let’s use that admiration as inspiration to forge our own unique path of embracing and fully living during the senior years.

Engage across decades

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Additionally, let’s engage across generations. Interacting and engaging with all ages across a multitude of decades is beneficial for all.  It allows us to see a broad range of perspectives, which can prevent us from becoming too narrow-minded. And, in my experience, being around those who are younger, keeps us younger.

embrace change as a natural part of Life

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Another big issue related to aging is learning to cope with and accept change associated with the aging process. Conscious aging means just that–we are conscious of the aging process, which means we are dealing with age-related changes in our bodies as they occur. What it doesn’t mean is tossing in the proverbial towel and sitting on the sidelines. We still need to take care of ourselves by exercising and eating well, but we may need to adjust our expectations according to our own bodies’ needs–which varies from person to person.  For example, there are plenty of people older than me who can run faster, but I run at the pace that is best for me. 

Embrace REality with optimism

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Additionally, embrace reality, including the changes, optimistically.  For example, when training for a half-marathon, I focus my training on crossing the finish line, rather than focusing on my finish time.  I am grateful for a healthy body, and I am grateful that I can train for a marathon.  However, I still work full-time, and I have plenty of other interests, so I focus on the adventure that goes along with training and the joy that comes from experiencing the event instead of a specific finish time goal. 

Live with purpose

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This brings me to my next point, let’s live and age with purpose. While I do have plans to eventually formally retire from full-time work, as long as my body and mind are healthy, I don’t ever see myself not engaged in some form of teaching. I may one day change to a setting outside the formal constraints of a school system, or focus instead on my writing, which is, for me, is a form of teaching. However, I optimistically plan to continue teaching, in some form, because it gives me purpose, allows me to help others, and keeps me cognitively and socially engaged with others. It is my fountain of youth!

learn new things

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 Plus, teaching also forces me to continuously learn new things, which is beneficial at any age.  Furthermore, by consciously choosing to continue to work, older adults challenge societal ageist-constructs that often purport the notion that older adults aren’t as capable as their younger counterparts.  When in reality, most workplaces often benefit from employees across a spectrum of ages and experience levels.

In the end, the woman I met summed it up well when she pointed to the fact that humans are supposed to age, but it’s “the living that counts!”  Therefore, instead of focusing on the number of our age, let’s focus on living well.  

Make a difference.  Share the joy.  Celebrate life.

Photo by Kampus Production on Pexels.com

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Why Eat Apples Daily? Discover Their Surprising Benefits

by stephsimply, posted in Recipes

“A diet rich in plant protein, fiber, and nuts lowers cholesterol and improves blood pressure.”–Chiavaroli, L, Nishi, SK, Khan, TA, et al. 

Photo by Mark Stebnicki on Pexels.com

Fall FAvorite 🍎

September brings the official start to fall, and this seasonal shift means apples are coming into season. Even though apples tend to be available year-round, the advent of fall means local apples are available, and the prices of apples at supermarkets will be their best.  Therefore, it’s a great time to take advantage of apples’ versatility and nutritional benefits.

Personally, apples are one of my favorite fruits.  I embrace the many varieties of apples for their various flavor profiles and textures, although I do tend to prefer the crisp varieties. What I especially appreciate about apples is that they can be a tasty part of any meal–breakfast, lunch, dinner–or simply as a snack.   

Fall is the perfect time to visit local market, such as The Wild Ramp, to pick up deals on locally grown, fresh apples.

Researched backed foods 🥦 🍓 🫑 🥕

Over the past couple of months, I have been preparing more recipes/meals based upon the latest research found in Alzheimer’s Research and Therapy. This study demonstrated that eating a plant-based diet can prevent and/or slow the progression of dementia due to Alzheimer’s Disease. Plus, eating this way can lower cholesterol and improve blood pressure. Since apples are definitely a plant, they fit right into this way of eating.

Now, for those of you who love your meat, I am not here to preach that it shouldn’t be eaten.  Personal diet preferences are not for me to decide, but I think we can all agree that fruits and vegetables benefit our health.  Therefore, why not lean into adding more plants into meals?  It doesn’t have to be an either/or thing!

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Apple Benefits 🍏

Plus, who can argue against the humble apple? After all, there is a reason the old adage, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” is still around today. The Cleveland Clinic, in a post from August 2023, calls apples a “nutritional powerhouse.” The article’s author wrote that regularly consuming apples offers numerous health benefits because they are high in antioxidants–specifically quercetin–as well as fiber and water. In fact, a recent piece on Yahoo!Life stated that “Eating two apples a day may lower cholesterol.”  

Apples offer the following benefits:

  • Help meet daily fiber needs, which will stabilize blood sugar and creating a sense of fullness longer
  • Antioxidants that fight inflammation, which can lower risk for heart disease and dementia caused by Alzheimer’s
  • Help lower cholesterol and reduce blood pressure
  • Benefits the microbiome as they are full of pectin as well as both soluble and insoluble fiber
  • Promotes longevity by reducing risk for heart disease
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A-peel-ing benefits 🍏🍎

Keep in mind that the skin of the apple is the most nutritionally dense part. A 2023 article on Healthline, states that the peel is the part of the apple with the most fiber.  Additionally, an apple with its skin intact has more vitamin K, vitamin, A, vitamin C, more calcium, and potassium than a peeled apple. 

So why not eat an apple or two per day?  It’s an easy and tasty way to get more plants into your diet. With all the varieties and flavor profiles, you’re sure to find one you like!  Head to your local farmer’s market or grocery store, stock up on your favorite varieties, and take advantage of their best pricing. The versatility of apples lend it to a wide range of recipes, such as the one I am sharing with you today. Then again, there’s no shame in eating at them as they are, which is my favorite way of enjoying an apple.

From my home to yours, I wish you a healthy and happy fall season!

This recipe was inspired by the following sites: Gimme Some Oven, Cait’s Plate, and Engine 2 Cookbook. Feel free to “doctor it up,” as my Grandmother Helen used to call it by adding and/or deleting ingredients that fit your tastes preferences!

Quinoa Broccoli Apple Bowl with Sweet and Spicy Dressing

Gluten-free, dairy-free

Serves 2, but recipe can be doubled or tripled

Salad ingredients:

½ cup dry quinoa

1 cup vegetable broth

1 small head of broccoli, chopped into bite-size pieces

¼  teaspoon garlic powder

¼ teaspoon onion powder

Salt and pepper to taste

1 can (15 ounce) chickpeas, rinsed & drained

4 cups favorite salad greens, i.e. spinach, arugula, spring mix, etc

½ small red onion, chopped

1 apple, diced (favorite type)

¼ cup slivered almonds, chopped walnuts, or other favorite nut/seeds

Dressing ingredients:

½ cup unflavored, plant based milk

¼ cup Dijon mustard

¼ cup pure maple syrup

¼-½ ground red pepper (depending on level of desired heat)

⅛ teaspoon smoked paprika

⅛ teaspoon xanthan gum (a gluten-free thickener), optional

Directions:

Preheat oven 425 degrees

Coat baking dish (cookie sheet) with nonstick cooking spray or line a baking sheet with parchment paper

Clean and cut broccoli

Lightly spritz with olive oil and sprinkle seasonings (garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper)

Bake for 30+ minutes, stirring halfway through

Meanwhile, prepare quinoa according to package directions, using broth as the cooking liquid

While quinoa is cooking, prepare salad dressing by placing all ingredients in a glass jar and shaking well.  

Store dressing in refrigerator until ready to serve

To serve, divide salad greens and diced apple between 2 serving bowls

Divide and top salad with quinoa, broccoli, chickpeas, and onion

Drizzle with desired amount of dressing and top with nuts

Store unused dressing in sealed container in refrigerator for 2-3 weeks

Charming Rodanthe: An OBX Gem Facing Erosion Threat | Beach Memories

by stephsimply, posted in Travels

“The greater the love, the greater the tragedy when it’s over.”–Nicolas Sparks from the novel Nights in Rodanthe

Rodanthe, NC 🏖️

If you love the beach, especially the Outer Banks’ Hatteras Island, then you may experience something akin to heartbreak as more and more erosion occurs along its shores, especially to the small unincorporated community, Rodanthe, NC.  My daughter, Madelyn, and I visited Rodanthe, located on Hatteras Island, this past summer, and we certainly felt that way as we walked along its shores and witnessed the devastation first hand.  Walking along the Rodanthe beach, we noticed the remains of several beach homes and those that had been moved and/or jacked up on tall pilings.  Only a month after our visit, another home was washed out to the ocean with Hurricane Debby. 

Beach Memories 🌊

Years ago, when I was a teenager, my family financially reached a place in which our budget allowed us to schedule an annual week-long vacation in the Outer Banks of NC.  These trips were often book-ended with educational/informational side trips. But of course, as a kid, my interest, as well as my younger three siblings’ interest, was more focused on the beach.  

While most of our peers’ families spent time at Myrtle Beach, we were happy at the OBX, spending time building sandcastles, collecting sea shells, or writing our names and words of “wisdom” in the sand.  We learned to jump waves and stay atop boogie boards. And, if the surf was too rough, or we needed a break, we’d bask in the sun and read books.  At some point during the day, we’d walk back to our rental, usually “fourth row back,” and grab lunch or a snack. Then, we’d head right back down to the beach until it was time for dinner.

Beach Vibes 🌊

Even then, once dinner and showers were completed, my three siblings and I would head right back down to the beach in the evening to goof off with other kids who happened to be around or just hang out with one another.  We usually didn’t swim much in the evening, but we still found things to do that entertained us.  Of course, this was well before the age of the internet, much less cell phones, so we were easily amused by chasing ghost crabs, seeing who could do the best cart wheel, or loudly singing lyrics to a popular song into surf, and making fun of one another if one of us messed up or forgot a word.

During our first visit, OBX was not what it is now.  It was not as populated, and it was definitely not commercialized.  In fact, there were few stores and restaurants, especially where we stayed–just beyond Duck, NC–and there were virtually no grocery stores other than a couple of local gas/convenience type stores.  Therefore, as I best recall, we packed coolers and boxes with a fairly large quantity of groceries to take with us from home. There were a few beachy/trinket shops and bookstores nearby, but most souvenir shops were a considerable drive away. But, oh boy did that change over the following decade. . .

Traditions change ⏱️

As the years progressed, and I married my husband, John, we continued to visit the OBX from time to time, but gradually the yearly tradition faded.  It was not because we were no longer enamored with the OBX; rather, there were so many other locations across the country and Canada that we had not yet explored.  Nonetheless, from time to time, we would get the urge, and once more spend a week or so in various places along the OBX, including as far north as Carova Beach and as far south as Avon–even visiting Ocracoke a time or two. 

Such was the case this past summer.  It had been years since our last OBX visit, and Maddie and I had grown nostalgic with a desire to visit its shores once more.  There was a week in July when John was heading north once more fishing, so Maddie and I decided that would be an ideal time for a mother-daughter escapade.  We settled for a condo in Rodanthe, an OBX locale we had only driven through on previous stays.

Mother-Daughter time 🐚

Before heading to Rodanthe, we decided to take one night to stay in Nags Head, experience a couple restaurants and do some shopping.  However, after that first night, we drove on to Rondanthe and did not leave the island. We absolutely loved the community of Rodanthe and further enjoyed the sights and sounds of its beaches and surrounding nearby Hatteras communities. 

Rodanthe, Waves, and Salvo are charming beach communities connected like colorful beads on a chain. Each one has its own special appeal, but seemed to work best as a collective.  There is a well-maintained sidewalk on the sound side of North Carolina Highway 12 that spans the length of the three communities, and the communities often have shared events for the public to enjoy. 

Island Time ☀️

While the closest national chain grocery store is a Food Lion, located in Avon–about a 22 or so minute drive–there are several smaller grocery and convenience stores that are well-stocked.  There were also several restaurants and shops nearby that Maddie and I enjoyed visiting. One of our favorites was Good Winds restaurant located on the Pamlico Sound–a perfect spot for watching the sunset.  That said, we mostly found our favorite activities centered around the ocean–walking, swimming, and sitting by its side experiencing the full sensory spectrum of being on the shore. Personally, I have yet to lose my sense of awe and wonder at the sight of crashing waves on a shoreline.

Eroded shores 🌊

Ironically, it is those very crashing waves that have taken seven homes from Rodanthe in the past four years! This most eastern point of NC is sadly experiencing 15 feet of erosion per year, according to a recent post (August 2024) by WRAL News. According to this source, Rodanthe doesn’t have a large enough tax base to pay for the beach renourishment required to maintain such a large quantity of erosion.  However, given the island itself is about a quarter of a mile wide, I can’t help but wonder about Rodanthe’s future and feel heartbroken at the prospect of so much loss at such a beautiful, serene location. 

All I can say is that I absolutely hope to return in the coming years.  While I do love exploring new sights, there is something comforting about spending time at the OBX.  For me, it’s like putting on a comfy pair of sweatpants and t-shirt at the end of a long day, relaxing into the soft familiarity of being able to relax because I am home.  OBX was my first beach love, and while I know there are beaches, there are none that will quite replace the embrace I feel from those NC 12 shoreline winds.

The Art of Conscious Breathing: Nurturing Mind, Body, and Soul

by stephsimply, posted in Yoga

“The breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness.”–Thich Nhat Hanh 

Students at the end of a yoga class with a seven minute meditation at the beginning of class (There were several absent on this particular day.)

Settle your mind 🧘

Settle your body onto your mat.  See if you can begin to settle your mind.

Soften your eyes.  All the muscles around each eye relax.  

Release the lines of your forehead; soften your ears, and allow the jaw line to release.

Let the shoulders melt away from your ears as your heart space softens.

Relax the muscles of your hips and legs while you rest in the knowledge that the earth can support you.

Feel the feet relax, allowing the arch and each toe to release.

Take a deep breath in.  Pause.  Sigh it out through your mouth. 

Whatever thoughts, worries, concerns that you had before entering this room, allow them to drift away on the stream of conscious breathing.

Another slow, deliberate inhale. Wait.  Now, exhale long, smooth, and controlled once more through your mouth.

Pause once you’ve fully exhaled and gently close your mouth, unless, of course, you are congested and cannot breathe through your nose. 

Inhale. Pause for a moment. Long, slow exhale through your nose.  

Follow the exhale until your lungs are fully emptied, and wait for a moment before you inhale again. 

Once more, be present with the inhale.  Intentionally allow for a pause.  Then, slowly, with full concentration, exhale–following the exhale until its full conclusion. 

Pause, and continue this conscious breathing for the next few minutes.  

If thoughts enter your head, recognize that you are thinking.  This is only natural.  Then, return your attention back to your breath.

Several of the students after yoga class that began with a seven minute meditation, a hour of yoga moves, and ended with ten minutes of relaxation pose, savasana.

Conscious breathing 😮‍💨

As I write these words, I find that my own breathing has slowed. My own heartbeat is slowing. My thoughts, worries, and concerns about how I will convey in writing what I want to share have begun to loosen their grip on my brain as I allow the words to flow in unison with my breath. 

This year in my school setting, I have the privilege of teaching a yoga/mindfulness class to high school students. It is a dream I have had for years finally coming to fruition. 17 students, 11 of which are males, which I find remarkable, signed up for the class.  Most, but not all, of the students are athletes, overloaded with the act of balancing coursework with their sports’ schedules and the desire to still have a typical teen social life.

However, when they walk through the gym doors, roll out their yoga mats, their job is to take a break from their very real, youthful concerns. It’s not easy. Like all of us, strands of stress and worries cling to their minds and bodies the way cooked noodles often cling to one another if the noodles have not been properly stirred during the cooking process.  My job is to stir the proverbial pot of their mind and guide their bodies through yoga movements that encourage the release, at least for a few moments of their day, from the stickiness of their constant concerns.

Photo by Oluremi Adebayo on Pexels.com

The Power of the Pause 🙏

The pause between breath reminds them, and really, all of us, of the importance of taking intentional pauses throughout our day to pay attention to the here and now.  Mentally pausing to let go of thoughts of the past, thoughts of future plans, and thoughts of all those unanswerable “what ifs” can be a valuable respite.  Taking a few moments to close the eyes, tune out the world, and focus on your in and out breath can release tension and provide a short rest for the mind, eyes, and body. 

Even on our busiest days, taking a short pause, enough for a few deep breaths, can renew and refresh your focus, especially if you are feeling anxious and/or stressed. By taking deep breaths, especially those in which you can extend the exhale, sends signals to the body to relax.

Photo by Kelvin Valerio on Pexels.com

TEnd and befriend 🧘🏿‍♂️

Based upon my limited understanding, longer exhales encourage the vagus nerve to send a signal to engage the parasympathetic system (think: rest and digest or tend and befriend system) and relax the sympathetic system (think: fight, flight, fawn, or freeze system). Those deep breaths, especially with the longer exhalations, let the body know that it is in a state of calm, so that it can “tend and befriend” the work challenge you must complete rather than “fight” it or all together mentally “freeze.”

In addition to soothing the mind and body, by consciously paying attention to our breathing, we can connect to the wonder of being alive, and the miracle that is our body.  Our bodies, with its amazing autonomic nervous system, automatically takes care of so many functions and unconscious processes without us having to think about it. We truly are marvelous creations.  Conscious breathing can be that bridge between our physical bodies and our conscious minds, as Thich Nhat Hanh pointed out. And, it is a tool for bringing our attention to the present moment.  After all, you can’t focus on your breathing and not be aware of the here and now.   

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Conscious Breathing is the Link

In the end, taking time to intentionally connect with our breath offers numerous benefits. Deep breaths with long exhales can allay our fears, concerns, and worries.  It can bring a sense of calm in a short amount of time to an otherwise chaotic day.  Conscious breathing can invigorate and recharge the mind for an important and stressful project.  Furthermore, deep breathing can link our minds to our bodies while also bringing our attention to the present moment.  So pause, take a deep breath, or three, release the grip on your worries and burdens, and reconnect with here and now, and the font of peace that dwells within.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

The Power of Kindness: Good Thoughts, Good Words, and Good Deeds

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”—Dalai Lama

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The shape of kindness ❤️

This past spring I viewed a documentary on various world religions, and one line  from this film really stood out. “Good thoughts, good words, and good deeds” is considered an essential teaching and practice of Zoroastrian faith. As I understand it, doing good deeds is not reward focused, but it’s more about thinking the best of others as well as doing good acts for its own sake. That maxim has remained with me all these months later.

At its core is kindness–kindness to others, and even, kindness to self. Kindness is one of those notions that gets tossed around in cutesy social media quotes and images, such as, “Spreading kindness like confetti!” or “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”  While I love the intent around these images, it is easy to grow immune to their effects or even cynical.

Still, at the end of the day, kindness truly does matter. How many of us have been impacted by a rude, disrespectful, or all around unkind encounter?  I know I have. I walk or drive away feeling like Pig-Pen, a proverbial cloud of yuckiness clinging to me. Like lint on black pants, it seems that one act of unpleasantness appears to attract more of it. 

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Moods are contagious 🤧

For example, the day may begin with a car cutting you off on your drive into work. Preparing to walk into work, the lid to your new, supposedly, leak-proof coffee cup isn’t quite tight enough, and you end up entering your workplace with brown stains down that new light-colored shirt that, of course, you were wearing. 

After stopping by the restroom to try to blot off the stain as best you can, you open your computer only to find an email from that “thinks-they-are-so-special” client that sends you into another negative spiral. By the time lunchtime rolls around, and you realize you forgot your packed lunch at home that you actually took time to pack the night before, that cloud of negativity has burst open, and you feel soaked through with negative thoughts.

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Here to help 🤝

Kindness, however, often works the same way. What if the drive into work was eventless and traffic was light.  While the coffee still spills, a co-worker offers their Tide-pen to help make the stain less noticeable. When you open your inbox to email, you discover an email that includes words of appreciation from a hard-won client for a job well-done. 

When you discover that you left your packed lunch at home, another coworker offers to pick you up something while they are out on an errand, which gives you a bit of time to get caught up on a few other tasks you’ve been meaning to do. Meanwhile, you make a mental note to think of something nice you can do in return for that coworker later in the week. 

The same day, served up two ways.  Kindness can make a difference like that.  And the best part is that kindness does not require any special talent, money, or resources; we can cultivate it through our “thoughts, words, and deeds” as those of the Zoroastrian faith are encouraged to do.

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Kind words and actions cost nothing but reap dividends 🤩

Offering to help others, saying or writing kind words, or simply being considerate are all ways of intentionally sharing kindness. Those simple acts can benefit others in ways that we may never be directly witnessed, but do not, nonetheless, detract from the worth of the actions. In fact, one small act of deliberate kindness, like its negative counterpart, can initiate a wave of positive events as one act leads to another and on to another.

Even if we offer a kind word or deed to others without expecting anything in return, those acts still benefit us. According to the Mayo Clinic, demonstrating kindness to others positively contributes to our sense of self-esteem, empathy, compassion, and boosts our mood. In the same 2023 article, the Mayo Clinic adds that acts of kindness lowers one’s blood pressure and levels of cortisol, a hormone directly related to stress.  Kindness can boost your mood and increase feelings of connectedness, thereby decreasing feelings of loneliness.  

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Benefits of Kindness 🧠

Kindness is also good for the mind.  When you do a thoughtful act, even as simple as sharing a pack of gum, offer words of encouragement, or even speak a simple compliment, you create physiological changes in your brain. With each kind act, dopamine and serotonin are released, creating feelings of well-being.  Meanwhile, the pleasure and reward centers of our brains are lit up. Additionally, kind acts and words can flood our bodies with endorphins, those “feel good” chemicals that boost mood and reduce sensations of pain and/or stress.

Kindness doesn’t have to just be focused on others; kind thoughts towards oneself is also as important and just as worthy of an endeavor.  Practicing kind self-talk that is positive and encouraging of self is worth-while, and much more beneficial than the negative loops that too easily circulate in our heads.  In addition to the practice of affirming and loving self-talk, fostering a sense of gratitude goes a long way to feeling kindness towards self and others. 

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So many ways to offer Kindness 📝

Of course, there are the obvious kind actions such as volunteering and working/helping out with causes in which you believe.  However, there are other less overt, more subtle ways of generating kindness that are just as beneficial, if not more so!  Consider the following actions:

  • Call that friend or acquaintance that you haven’t seen in weeks 
  • Mail an old-fashioned postcard or letter to someone telling them how much they mean to you or you appreciate them
  • Write a handwritten thank you note the next time someone does something nice for you
  • Get flowers, candy, a cup of coffee, or a some other little treat for someone for no reason
  • Check in or call someone who is either sick or you know is going through a rough patch
  • Offer to take a shut-in to church, to the grocery store, or even to lunch
  • Buy a cake mix or cookie dough. Then, bake and share a treat with a neighbor or friend for no particular reason
  • Keep a gratitude journal to continue to foster good thoughts
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everyone’s superpower 🦸‍♀️

The list could go on, but the point is, acts of kindness and generosity to others (and self) can be as big or small as you want.  “Good thoughts, good words, and good deeds”  put into actions, no matter the size, will always benefit others in some way.  

In the end, kindness is a big deal.  In fact, it’s a kinda superpower we all have the ability to possess. It merely takes a tad bit of thought and time. 

Delicious and Healthy Sweet Potato Mango Bowls: A Nutrient Rich Delight

by stephsimply, posted in Recipes

“Mango, often dubbed the king of fruits, isn’t just delicious, it’s full of nutrients and health benefits.”–OhioHealth.com

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Nothing Like Fresh summer Produce 🌽🍅

When I was a girl, mid- to late summer, it seemed to my unfledged mind, was one of grandparents’ favorite times of year. This was because it was the time of year full of fresh garden produce! It wasn’t unusual during this season for them to eat a dinner full of nothing but fresh vegetables: salted, slices of beefsteak tomatoes, pork-flavored half-runner beans, sweet corn on the cob slathered with sweet butter, and dinner rolls spooned over with sorghum syrup.  Sometimes, they’d toss in fresh melon for dessert, with or without ice cream, or some sort of fruit cobbler! 

Oh, how intoxicatingly fragrant those kitchens were! To this day, I can’t smell a good garden tomato without being reminded of one of their kitchens. It didn’t matter which house I happened to be visiting, my maternal grandparents or my paternal grandmother–their kitchens had similar earthy aromas during the end of summer.  To be sure, they’d vary the menu with tomato, bacon, and lettuce sandwiches or wilted lettuce with bacon drippings.  Sometimes they might fry up hamburgers and top them off with a fresh slice of tomato, serve a salad with freshly picked cucumbers and chopped garden “mangoes,” and of course, have more sliced and salted tomatoes on the side.  They might even bake up a meatloaf with chopped, fresh “mangoes,” or they might stuff the freshly picked “mangoes” with a meatloaf-like mixture.

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Mangoes are a Tropical Fruit 🥭

It was years later, when I was stunned to learn that what my grandparents called “mangoes” were actually called bell peppers.  I was further surprised to learn that mango was a tropical orange fruit grown in trees!  In fact, it’s only been in the past decade that I’ve really come to embrace and regularly eat mangoes, due to their availability now in both the produce and freezer aisles in most local stores. 

Mangoes have a delicious, creamy peach-like flavor and juiciness, and they pack a nutritional punch. They are chock full of vitamin C, and they are full of soluble fiber–known for binding with fat and cholesterol in the digestive tract before they get absorbed. Mangoes are also a good source of vitamins A and E.  Overall, mangoes benefit your immune system, eyes, skin, gut health, and even have anticancer properties.  Plus, they taste great.  What’s not to like about that?

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Mangoes and Bell Peppers 🫑🥭

Although mangoes taste nothing like a bell pepper, they are both nutritionally beneficial and a versatile addition to a wide array of recipes, such as the one I am sharing with you today. This recipe is a super easy, quick recipe for dinner or lunch. While it is an older recipe from a plant-based cookbook, by Rip Esselstyn, you don’t have to be vegetarian to enjoy this recipe.  Plus, for those with allergies, it is gluten-, dairy-, and nut-free.

It’s bursting with nutrients and plenty of fiber to fill you up and benefit your health.  However, I know all of that doesn’t matter if the recipe doesn’t look and taste great, and this sweet and savory recipe certainly does! As my Grandmother Helen taught me to remember, “We eat first with our eyes,” and this recipe makes one vividly vibrant plate, full of colors and flavors that will lead to full tummies and clean plates around your table!  

This recipe will “Bowl” you over! 🥣

While I know my papaw would have NEVER tried this recipe, I’d like to think both of my grandmothers would have given this mango-forward dish a try. Therefore, I hope you will try this recipe out in their honor, and, of course, feel free to serve up a side of salted, sliced tomatoes, corn on the cob, and/or some rolls with sorghum syrup from the local farmer’s market!

From my home to yours, I wish you new and old recipes that are full of family connections and stories!

Sweet Potato and Mango Bowls

Gluten-free, nut-free, dairy-free

Serves 2, but recipe can be doubled or tripled

Ingredients:

2 large sweet potatoes

1 (15-ounce can) black beans, drained and rinsed

¼ teaspoon ground cumin

¼ teaspoon garlic powder

¼ teaspoon onion powder

¼ teaspoon chili powder

4 cups of my favorite salad greens, i. e. spinach or spring mix

4 to 6 green onions, chopped

1 fresh mango, chopped or 1 cup frozen mango chunks

1 red bell pepper, chopped

½ avocado, mashed or diced, depending upon preference

¼ cup chopped cilantro (optional)

Lime juice

Salsa

Directions:

Bake sweet potatoes (microwave or oven)

In microwave safe bowl add black beans and spices, stir and heat for 60 or so seconds in microwave (Can also mix and heat on stove top if preferred)

Divide greens between two bowls

Top with sweet potato, which can be cut in half or cubed, your preference

On top of sweet potato, add beans, green onion, mango, red pepper, avocado & cilantro, if using

Drizzle with lime juice and add desired amount of salsa

Red-Tailed Hawk: Symbolism and Lessons for School Success

by stephsimply, posted in education

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch, but on its own wings.”–Charles Wardle

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Frequent Encounters 👀

Lately, it seems I am regularly noticing red-tail hawks.  Sometimes I spy a hawk during my runs or walks, and other times, I will notice one while I am driving. I often see one perched on a pole or electric line. The neck tilts and turns this way and that as they take in the area, 180 degrees at a time, under their watchful eyes.  

Other times, I am able to observe the flick of a hawk’s red tail as it lifts into flight with an expansive, majestic wing span.  It will circle and soar on air currents, rising high as it gains a new perspective on the landscape below. Occasionally, I have the opportunity to watch one, with graceful power, dive, and in one fell swoop, swiftly scoop up its prey.  

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Hawk-eyed facts 📝

Seeing hawks never fails to fill me with delight, no matter how frequently I catch a glimpse of one.  I often joke that the hawk is my “spirit animal,” my guide to admirable qualities. After all, hawks have excellent vision.  They can see five to eight times better than most humans.  Therefore, when they are sailing on the ocean of air currents, their accurate vision enables them to see the bigger picture.

In addition to their clear-eyed view, a red-tailed hawk can dive at speeds of up to 120 mph.  Combine a hawk’s speed with its visual acuity, a prey stands very little chance of escape.  Thus, a hawk has the ability to clearly see its goal and attain it.

Hawks are known for their ability to hunt and capture prey that can weigh as much as the hawk itself, anywhere from two to four pounds. That’s a strong lift, especially once in flight.  However, hawks mostly focus on small rodents, reptiles, amphibians, fish, and even insects. This means the hawk is realistic about the load it can carry.

The wingspan of an adult hawk is over four feet wide because hawks are meant to soar. In the book of Job, the 26th verse of chapter 39 reads, “Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom and spread its wings towards the south?” And, while this is a conversation between God and Job, it does seem to emphasize, to my untrained eyes, that there are times, when, like a hawk, we, too, have been gifted with the ability to spread our wings widely and leave an area/situation that no longer supports us.

Red-tailed hawks mate for life.  They build their nests together–each one gathering leafy branches and sticks. When it comes to having babies, they likewise co-parent.  Typically, the female will sit and incubate the eggs, while the male hunts and brings back food to her. Once the chicks hatch, the male continues to hunt and bring back food to the female.  In turn, she will then distribute the food in small pieces among the babies. In this way, hawks demonstrate the importance of dividing and sharing the load with one another.

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Lessons of the Hawk

Throughout the local area, students, teachers, administrators, and staff are returning, or will soon be returning, to school. Shelves of school supplies at popular stores have been wiped clean of their wares, and first day outfits or uniforms have been selected with care for annual back-to-school photos. All the while parents marvel at the rate at which their kids are growing as students–and teachers–wonder where summer went.

With the ringing of the school bells, it is worth remembering the lessons provided by the red-tailed hawk whether a parent, student, educator, or simply interested in supporting those in education.

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Focus on Big picture 🔎

 First, may we remember to focus on the bigger picture.  It is so easy, and even tempting, to get wrapped up in the minutiae of daily dramas.  Instead, let us be reminded of the hawk and soar above all of the little irritants that don’t add up to much of anything, and instead focus on the goal: education, growth, improvement, and so forth

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Clear goals 🎯

Along those same lines, by focusing on the bigger picture, let us be hawk-like and develop clear goals/intentions for the school year–tangible and measurable targets for success. By keeping a clear vision of these goals, students, parents, and teachers alike can adapt and adjust accordingly as we work towards them. It’s easy to get side-tracked, and it’s sometimes tempting to waiver or become distracted by some flash-in-the-pan idea.  However, by continuously circling back to the actual long-term goals, we can keep our aim true.

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Avoid overcommitting 😮

While all those target goals are important, it’s important to be realistic about the load we can carry. Just as the hawk can only hunt and capture predators weighing no more than it does, we too must be careful not to bite off more than we can chew.  Over-volunteering or overcommitting to too many teams/committees/clubs/events can weigh down students, educators, and parents alike.  Just because we can do something, doesn’t mean we should do it all.  Instead, it is more important to focus on what you love, what will stretch you best, and/or will leave time for recovery and rest in order to put our best foot forward.

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Divide and Conquer ➗

One way to do this is to remember to divide and share the load.  Students can benefit from helping one another or working with a tutor.  Parents can divide and share the responsibilities of their kids’ school activities, sports, and all the home/care responsibilities that go with that.  Educators can likewise collaborate with one another and make use of resources designed to support learning.  We all benefit from helping each other make a school year successful.

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Change can be Good 👍

However, it is important for us to recognize when we have bitten off more than we can chew. Burn-out for students, parents, and teachers is a very real thing and must be guarded against.  Therefore, learn to identify and recognize those times when you need to spread your wings and leave or change a situation.  

May this school year be the year of the red-tail hawk. May students, parents, educators, coaches, and anyone else involved have hawk-like vision and acuity. May wings spread on the currents of hope, compassion, empathy, and knowledge. May our aim be true, and may educational communities around the globe support and help one another in a spirit of kinship and joy.  Most of all, may we nourish our students with small bites of knowledge and success, so that they may ultimately one day, independently soar on their own air currents of success, however they define it.

Ready for the new school year!

Discovering Niagara-on-the-Lake: A Hidden Gem of Ontario 🌟

by stephsimply, posted in Travels

“Nestled in the corner of the Niagara Region just beyond Niagara Falls, the picturesque Niagara-on-the-Lake epitomizes old town charm.”–niagarafallstourism.com

Hidden Gem 💎

Green Oaks Bed & Breakfast

Niagara Falls is a popular travel destination with good reason.  John, my husband, and I visited the falls last year for the first time. However, not far from the falls, and to the north, is an often overlooked gem-of-a-destination: Niagara-on-the-Lake. John and I traveled to the idyllic NOTL after spending a week in Charlton Lake Camp in the northern part of Ontario. 

We had the good fortune of booking a couple of nights at Green Oaks Bed and Breakfast, conveniently located to all things Niagara. Surrounded by vineyards, farms, orchards, and scenic views, our B & B was located in St. David’s, not far from Niagara-on-the-Lake (NOTL). As we arrived, we took note of the B & B’s picturesque setting: draping willow trees, flower-lined walks, the expansive front porch with a patio off to one side, a large vegetable garden in the back, and chickens–as well as a few rogue squirrels–roaming a side yard. 

 Trish, our host at Green Oaks B & B, was  warm, welcoming, and quite engaging in her beautifully appointed home, circa 1908-1910. Her B & B sits on a winery, Ravine Vineyard Estates, and it is located 15 minutes from Niagara Falls and 10 minutes from NOTL. Numerous wineries, restaurants, and biking/walking paths are all around it, so upon our arrival, Trish set us up with a map of the area and offered tips and advice for our stay. I should further add that her “country breakfast” proved to be wonderfully delicious, and she even accommodated my dietary restrictions.

Charming and Historic 🌆

 “Old Town” NOTL, we discovered, maintains its historic, 19th-century charm.  It is often described, with good reason, as the “prettiest town in Ontario.” It is located in the heart of Ontario’s wine country.  In fact, there are nearly 100 wineries in the NOTL and Niagara Escarpment.  While the area boasts around 40 different grape varieties, the area is well-known for its Riesling, Chardonnay, Cabernet Franc, and Pinot Noir.  However, it is best-noted for its Icewine and traditional method sparkling wines. 

In fact, the availability of wine, fresh produce, and stunning floral gardens are a large part of the area’s appeal.  Wine tastings and tours are easy to schedule and quite popular.  Roadside stands and markets dot the countryside, brimming with fresh fruit, vegetables, honey, and cheeses. Some orchards and farms even advertise, “Pick your own _______,” depending upon the season, and all throughout the thoroughfares are flowers galore.

According to several sources, 90% of Ontario’s tender fruit is produced in what is known as the Niagara peninsula.  And most of that fruit is grown in orchards in and around NOTL, which John and I witnessed first hand.  We drove by miles and miles of orchards and vineyards. Specifically, we noticed the area focused on its local peaches with numerous peach-centered dishes as well as peach wine varieties in many shops and restaurants during the time we visited.

Flowers, vineyards, and orchards . . .oh my!

Places to go 🚗

While in NOTL, John and I visited a few sites, including spending a good deal of our time strolling through the historic area of NOTL on both days of our stay.  We also visited a small, local winery, Niagara Parks Butterfly Conservatory, and  Centennial Lilac Garden.  Additionally, we had dinner at local favorites, The Grist and The Irish Harp. 

The Old Town of NOTL is picturesque. The streets are lush with flower gardens and lined with quaint shops.  Horse drawn carriages clip-clop through the streets, and numerous bistros and restaurants can be found interspersed between shops. Historic buildings can be seen throughout the town, while throngs of tourists mingle about the sidewalks. Honestly, simply walking along the streets and side streets was a fascinating experience for John and I as we listened to multiple languages being spoken all around us. 

Wine Country 🍷

The local winery we visited was Marynissen Estates. This winery was not far from our B & B.  This estate focuses on “small-lot winemaking.”  A former pig-farm, the Marynissen Estates’ land was purchased in 1953 by founders, John and Adrianna Marynissen, and it has the oldest commercial planting of Cabernet Sauvignon in Canada. This vineyard offered tastings or a by-the-glass experience.  John and I opted for a tasting flight while learning about the estate’s winemaking process and history. 

butterflies and flowers

Afterwards, we drove through the verdant countryside, on the Niagara River Parkway towards the Butterfly Conservatory. This was an amazing experience as it boasts the largest glass-enclosed butterfly conservatory in North America, and it was filled with a plethora of prolific tropical vegetation. Within those glass walls were over 2,000 colorful butterflies zipping about the plants, waterfalls, and visitors.  Outside the conservatory, the grounds offered winding paths with benches surrounded by a proliferation of flowers, grasses, shrubs, and other forms vegetation all labeled and identified for visitors   

On the way back from the butterfly conservatory, we stopped by the Centennial Lilac Garden.  This ten acre area of land was overflowing with lilacs in a range of colors as well as a heady variety of fragrances. 

While visiting the lilac garden, we were also able to check out the Floral Clock, a clock made of flowers that keeps time and chimes every quarter hour! According to the official website, the floral design is changed twice per year with 15,000 to 20,000 carpet plants and annuals.  It was quite the impressive attraction!

Good Eats 🍔 🥗

Both nights were filled with delicious dinners. The Grist advertised itself as a “craft kitchen and brewery” with a family-centered atmosphere located in a refurbished barn that was once used as a packing shed.  It was located in St. David’s, about 10 or so minutes outside of NOTL, in the midst of farm/vineyard/orchard country, not far from our B & B.  Their pizzas, burgers, and other eclectic original dishes were clearly favorite fare with local residents as the place was packed. 

Meanwhile, for the second night’s dinner we headed into historic NOTL and dined in The Irish Harp, which had live music. Though the food offerings were completely different from the previous night, our meals were every bit as tasty.  As with the other restaurant, the pub was absolutely packed on the night we visited.

If you are looking for a unique adventure, and you don’t mind traveling, NOTL offers something for everyone–from the shopper, to the outdoors enthusiasts, and from the site-seer to the foodie.  While we happened to visit the area when it was alive with peak produce, flora, and fauna, I have every reason to believe that all seasons in NOTL offer unique and exceptional experiences for travelers.  This is definitely one area I highly recommend visiting if you have never before visited.  I know I hope to return one day!

Embracing Darkness: The Lotus Flower’s Lesson of Hope and Resilience

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Most people are afraid of suffering. But suffering is a kind of mud to help the lotus flower of happiness grow.  There can be no lotus flower without mud.”–Thích Nhất Hạnh

FAcing Difficult Days 😟

How many of us have endured through difficult and murky situations?  How many more of us have observed/supported a loved one undergoing a dark and/or dire situation?  Whether it is personal suffering or suffering of a loved one, we have all either experienced or observed painfully dark days; I know I have. 

Sometimes the difficulty can create so much suffering, it feels as if a pack of wolves have hunted us down, snipped and yipped at our heels, and are now chewing away at our insides.  Sleep may no longer feel like an escape, and even if part of the difficulty causes physical pain, it is often the pain caused by our own minds and heart that can hurt the most. 

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Quotes to Get you Through 📝

There are a couple of quotes and an image I have come to appreciate over the years. They tend to come to mind when I feel knocked down by life. I think of them as a mental antidote for counteracting my fear when facing down a difficult situation.

Keep getting up no matter how many times you fall.

One quote is a Japanese proverb: “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” This saying is hope-centric, and it means a great deal to me.  It serves as a reminder that no matter how many times we make a mistake or life events knock us down, we must still find a way to get back up.  This doesn’t mean it’s easy.  Sometimes, all we can do is claw, crawl, and clatter until we find the resolve and strength to stand once more.

Rise like the sun

Another inspiring quote by Maya Angelou: “Still I rise.”  While the author writes of her oppressive and challenging experiences as a black woman, the phrase’s universal theme of resilience in the face of struggles can speak to all of us. Those three words are filled with a bold defiance in the face of suffering.

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Lotus are Adaptable 🪷

Both of those quotes culminate in the symbol of the lotus, the ultimate emblem of perseverance and tenacity. This aquatic flowering plant has been admired and a part of lore for centuries.  The more colorful lotus are tropical in nature and are most notably found in Asian countries.  However, the lotus plant is quite adaptable, and an American variation can be found along the east coast in waters ranging from Ontario, Canada to Florida. 

Lotus Persist 🌱

Because the lotus plant grows in a variety of environments, it has developed a method of ensuring its continuation. Once pollinated, the lotus releases large quantities of seeds into the environment. Many of these seeds will be eaten by aquatic life; however, the seeds, as I understand it, are quite durable.  Some lotus’ seeds can get up to 1.5 inches in size, surviving for several years, long past the life of the flower.  In fact, the seeds can persist in conditions that would prevent many other types of seeds from germinating. 

Lotus Aren’t AFraid of The Dark 🌑

Once germinated, the seeds begin sprouting in the mud, sending roots down even deeper into the muck.  Depending upon the plant and the depth of water, it can take from two weeks to two months for the plant to grow up to six feet tall through the murky water. As the round leaves reach the top of the water they can fan out in width up to 36+ inches wide. Once the plant has fully surfaced, the flower will begin to grow and ultimately bloom. 

Short life, Deeply rooted 🙏

Each American Lotus flower, with its butter yellow petals and fragrant aroma, will only last a few days, opening its petals during the day and closing the petals at night. The blossom appears to be free floating, but it remains rooted in the mud. During its short duration, the flower will bear seed pods that resemble the end of a watering can or shower head, ensuring multiple seeds from each flower will be dispersed back into its environment.

Lotuses ShaRe 🫱 🫲

Both the seeds and roots can be eaten, and parts of the plant can be used for medicinal purposes. Seeds pods can be dried and used in flower arrangement.  Additionally, due to the fact that lotus flourish easily in a variety of areas, even in the murkiest of waters, these plants provide shelter, habitat, and food for a variety of aquatic wildlife.  Each fall, however, the plants die away.

Gifts can arise from dark places

Therefore, the lotus is a prime example of the way in which gifts can rise from the darkest of places. Despite the fact the lotus is born in the mud, it rises to stand victoriously every spring.  Upon rising, its blossoms bear seeds to ensure it has a way to stand back up.

Seeds of hope, help, and healing

Beyond the fact the lotus has planned for its inevitable fall, it also offers seeds of hope and nourishment for others. Each flower produces an overabundance of seeds, many of which will settle into the mud for rebirth, but many more of those seeds will provide food for other living creatures. Additionally, those mud-buried lotus roots also provide nourishment not only to the plant itself, but can also nourish others.  Not to mention that the plant has medicinal qualities, offers shelter to others within its aquatic community, and beautifies a variety of environments.

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Lotus Life 𑁍

Let us live like the lotus flower. When we experience those dark and difficult times in our life, let us root down into the loam of our soul and allow faith to germinate a seed of hope. By rooting through the muck and into the nourishment of our faith, we can rise. It may take weeks, months, or even years, but we can rise and blossom once more.

Once on the surface, it is our job to produce good seeds of hope and help for others.  Even if our calm waters fade away and we find ourselves sinking into the inky dark once more, still we can rise.  We have done it before; we can do it again.  And with each new revival, our blooms can continue to offer more gifts to the world.  No matter how darkly rooted our past or present was/is, no matter the number of times it occurs, we can stand up, we can rise, we can bloom, and we can embody the lotus, offering shelter, nourishment, and healing hope to others.