mindfulness – Page 4 – Steph Simply

Mastering the Art of Listening: Key Techniques

October 3, 2024 by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”–Stephen R. Covey

Listening is an Art 🎨

I listened to an acquaintance share a problem with me. I tried to fully listen, and then proceeded to offer my best advice. Later, however, I reflected upon that conversation and wondered if I should have responded differently. Was she really seeking advice, or did she just want someone to listen and empathize with her? Perhaps, I should have taken more time acknowledging her feelings, and then asked if she wanted advice, instead of assuming she wanted it.

Listening, really listening to others, is a skill and an art. I once heard a speaker say, “Hearing is uncontrollable; listening takes a special knack.” This is so true. We are constantly inundated, it seems, with an assortment of sounds, clamor, and all types of conversations.

I was reminded of this quote in a past conversation with my daughter, Maddie. We were, ironically enough, talking about listening. Specifically, I wondered aloud about ways to improve my own listening. She shared with me what a friend once taught her.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Three ways of listening 👂

According to Maddie’s friend, there are three types of listeners: Those who listen to respond; those who listen to react or criticize; and, those who listen to understand. This stuck with me, and I decided to do a short bit of research into this topic.

One quick internet search on “types of listening” resulted in hundreds of articles. Some pieces were geared more towards high school or college students taking communication classes. Others were framed around mental health. However, based upon my informal searches, business/work implications seem to make up the largest number of “ways to listen” write-ups.

While I can’t claim to have done the deepest research dive, what I did find seemed to support the overall point of what Maddie shared with me–there are different types of listeners and a number of identifiable ways of listening. It seems the biggest point of agreement is that most of us can, and would probably benefit from, improving our own listening skills. What mostly varies, from article to article, is the identification of how many different listening types/styles there are.

Two Other types of Listening 🎧

Two types of listening that Maddie’s friend did not identify were what several articles called “pseudo listening” and “appreciative listening.” Pseudo listening are those times when we pretend to listen, but we are not really absorbing the speaker’s information. This can occur across a wide array of situations, from the classroom to the board room, and from having the TV or radio on in the background to a person droning on and on about a topic for which you have little interest, but don’t want to be rude.

Appreciative listening is the type of listening we engage in when listening to a favorite song or piece of music. It can also occur when listening to a presentation or speaker talking about a favorite subject. You are not, per se, learning anything new, just appreciating the appeal of the subject matter.

Listening to Respond 🗣️

To the point of “listening to respond,” there are several key points. First of all, in day-to-day life, there are numerous situations which require listening carefully and responding quickly. From minute tasks, such as ordering food, when the staff asks how you want a certain dish served to listening to a friend or loved one ask if you could lend a hand, there are moments that require listening and responding/acting accordingly.

However, some situations require more than just a response. There are times when we need to analyze before responding. This action-oriented form of listening, requires dialed-in focus and a timely response in order to efficiently deliver information. Doctors, teachers, pharmacists, lawyers, and numerous other types of jobs require this type of listening, which analyzes the person’s problem from a neutral point of view in order to guide the patient, student, client, and so forth to what is, hopefully, an appropriate solution. Although the listener is still responding, the listener is responding from a point of thoughtful consideration in order to best help the person solve the problem.

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

Listening to react 🙎‍♂️

Another action-oriented form of listening focuses on the content of the message in order to react or criticize. This type of listening is designed to judge the content of what is being said as well as the reliability of the source or speaker. Obviously, if you are an attorney, arguing before the court for your client, this type of listening is clearly a very important skill. However, in all walks of life there are times we must listen and react defensively to a given situation. Unfortunately, this type of listening can become aggressive quickly, especially when applied to a situation in which a less-reactive approach would have better benefitted the situation.

Listening to understand 🤔

Finally, there are times when we need to truly focus on the person, listen closely to their content in order to understand, empathize, and perhaps even build connections. This is typically the hardest style of listening to develop, but it is worth fostering in order to build and sustain relationships. Listening to understand is a skill many of us need to improve, including myself. Due to our jobs or positions in life, a large number of us spend our work days quickly analyzing, and responding to others’ problems; and therefore, this type of listening, unfortunately, tends to become our default mode of listening even in situations where it would be better to remain quiet longer in order to connect with and fully understand the speaker.

Learning to listen to the underlying emotion conveyed in a person’s message requires active and participatory listening. This may require clarifying questions, but other times, it simply means offering space–a safe, quiet space where a person can simply share their thoughts and feelings without judgment or interruptions.

Space for listening 🤐

Sometimes, people just want to be heard and aren’t necessarily asking for a so-called “solution.” This is where, Maddie suggested, I might need to ask, “Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?” It is such a simple concept, but this clarifying question clears up any confusion on the listener’s part as to what their role is.

Reflecting back to that initial conversation with an acquaintance made me wish I had clarified whether or not the person wanted me to listen, offer advice, or both. Unfortunately, I cannot go back in time, but moving forward, I can ask that in future conversations. Listening well and listening appropriately to the situation does indeed take a special knack, but even more so, it requires us to think before we choose whether to respond, react, or criticize. It requires that we slow down our thoughts, listen deeply, and if needed, take time to clarify what the person speaking needs from us. In the end, not only will those with whom we interact benefit from our awareness, but we may find that our own relationships, work settings, family- and even community-dynamics shift and may even benefit as well.

Embracing Aging: Opportunities for Growth

September 26, 2024 by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage for opportunity and growth,” Betty Freidan

Another Year Celebrated 🎂

Photo by Genaro Servu00edn on Pexels.com

By the time you read this, I will have added a new score to my age. If life were a game, I’d definitely be a winning football score, and accruing a lead score in a basketball game. You know what? I am okay with that. Next year, I’ll be in a new decade, but for now, I plan on savoring my last full year in this decade.

A Chance Encounter 👩🏽‍🦳

Photo by Mauru00edcio Mascaro on Pexels.com

The night before writing this piece, my husband, John, and I chaperoned a high school homecoming dance for the school in which we teach. It was held at a local country club. Throughout the evening, guests at the club’s restaurant often exited via the hall outside of the room, where the students were dancing, and I happened to be supervising. Many of the restaurant’s patrons tended to speak as they walked by, mostly asking questions about what group was inside the buffet/ballroom.

One lady was particularly chatty, energetic, and enthusiastic. She talked out of one side of her mouth as if everything she was telling me was a secret for my ears only. In particular, she wanted me to note that she refused to have any surgical enhancements done to her face, including botox, “. . . and don’t I look good?”

Sound Advice 🧑‍💼

Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

Her comment made me smile as she went on to “give me some advice.” She explained that she used to say that she was 78 years old, “but I wised up a few years ago.” Instead, she states her age without adding the phrase, “years old.” In her words, this reframed her way of thinking about her “years on earth,” and allows her to focus on the fact that she has “lived experience,” with room for more.

She wrapped-up her short, one-sided conversation by saying, with a tilt of her head towards the room with dancing and singing students, that she didn’t want to “do that again.”

“We’re supposed to age. You know? It’s part of life. The real question, honey, is, are you living? It’s the living that counts!” With that, she winked and walked away.

Conscious Aging

The unknown women’s spunk got me thinking about attitudes towards aging. It seemed she was echoing the idea of “conscious aging,” also known as “conscious eldering.” According to the Association of Health Care Journalists, the goal of conscious aging is aimed at shifting “attitudes and thinking away from self-limitation, isolation, and fear” to viewing the senior years as the time of life for pursuing “passion, engagement, and service in the community.”

This same woman further touched on this point by talking about her lack of medical, anti-aging intervention. As it turns out, depending upon the source, the global anti-aging market is currently valued at $37-62 billion, and it is projected to grow in value to $65-93 billion. These estimates speak to the fact that as a whole, we culturally tend to reject the aging process.

It is unfortunate because it creates a climate that fosters a fear of aging rather than viewing it as a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, it’s important to examine where our beliefs about aging come from. Just because a parent/grandparent/other relative had a health condition associated with a certain age, doesn’t mean we will do that same. The stories we tell ourselves matter as they tend to affect and influence our attitudes, beliefs, and even our relationship with aging according to a 2023 New York Times article.

Identify age-appropriate Role models

In order to flip our own personal narratives about aging, let’s identify role models around us who embrace or model a healthy view of aging. They don’t have to be record-breaking 95-year olds, rather seniors who are active, engaged, and living with purpose. At the same time, let’s make choices related to aging that are authentic to our own values. We may admire our 85-year old neighbor who still plays golf, colors their gray hair, and volunteers at a dog shelter, but it doesn’t mean all of their choices are right for us. Instead, let’s use that admiration as inspiration to forge our own unique path of embracing and fully living during the senior years.

Engage across decades

Additionally, let’s engage across generations. Interacting and engaging with all ages across a multitude of decades is beneficial for all. It allows us to see a broad range of perspectives, which can prevent us from becoming too narrow-minded. And, in my experience, being around those who are younger, keeps us younger.

embrace change as a natural part of Life

Photo by Wellness Gallery Catalyst Foundation on Pexels.com

Another big issue related to aging is learning to cope with and accept change associated with the aging process. Conscious aging means just that–we are conscious of the aging process, which means we are dealing with age-related changes in our bodies as they occur. What it doesn’t mean is tossing in the proverbial towel and sitting on the sidelines. We still need to take care of ourselves by exercising and eating well, but we may need to adjust our expectations according to our own bodies’ needs–which varies from person to person. For example, there are plenty of people older than me who can run faster, but I run at the pace that is best for me.

Embrace REality with optimism

Additionally, embrace reality, including the changes, optimistically. For example, when training for a half-marathon, I focus my training on crossing the finish line, rather than focusing on my finish time. I am grateful for a healthy body, and I am grateful that I can train for a marathon. However, I still work full-time, and I have plenty of other interests, so I focus on the adventure that goes along with training and the joy that comes from experiencing the event instead of a specific finish time goal.

Live with purpose

This brings me to my next point, let’s live and age with purpose. While I do have plans to eventually formally retire from full-time work, as long as my body and mind are healthy, I don’t ever see myself not engaged in some form of teaching. I may one day change to a setting outside the formal constraints of a school system, or focus instead on my writing, which is, for me, is a form of teaching. However, I optimistically plan to continue teaching, in some form, because it gives me purpose, allows me to help others, and keeps me cognitively and socially engaged with others. It is my fountain of youth!

learn new things

Photo by Kampus Production on Pexels.com

Plus, teaching also forces me to continuously learn new things, which is beneficial at any age. Furthermore, by consciously choosing to continue to work, older adults challenge societal ageist-constructs that often purport the notion that older adults aren’t as capable as their younger counterparts. When in reality, most workplaces often benefit from employees across a spectrum of ages and experience levels.

In the end, the woman I met summed it up well when she pointed to the fact that humans are supposed to age, but it’s “the living that counts!” Therefore, instead of focusing on the number of our age, let’s focus on living well.

Make a difference. Share the joy. Celebrate life.

The Art of Conscious Breathing: Nurturing Mind, Body, and Soul

September 6, 2024 by stephsimply, posted in Yoga

“The breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness.”–Thich Nhat Hanh

_{Students at the end of a yoga class with a seven minute meditation at the beginning of class (There were several absent on this particular day.)}

Settle your mind 🧘

Settle your body onto your mat. See if you can begin to settle your mind.

Soften your eyes. All the muscles around each eye relax.

Release the lines of your forehead; soften your ears, and allow the jaw line to release.

Let the shoulders melt away from your ears as your heart space softens.

Relax the muscles of your hips and legs while you rest in the knowledge that the earth can support you.

Feel the feet relax, allowing the arch and each toe to release.

Take a deep breath in. Pause. Sigh it out through your mouth.

Whatever thoughts, worries, concerns that you had before entering this room, allow them to drift away on the stream of conscious breathing.

Another slow, deliberate inhale. Wait. Now, exhale long, smooth, and controlled once more through your mouth.

Pause once you’ve fully exhaled and gently close your mouth, unless, of course, you are congested and cannot breathe through your nose.

Inhale. Pause for a moment. Long, slow exhale through your nose.

Follow the exhale until your lungs are fully emptied, and wait for a moment before you inhale again.

Once more, be present with the inhale. Intentionally allow for a pause. Then, slowly, with full concentration, exhale–following the exhale until its full conclusion.

Pause, and continue this conscious breathing for the next few minutes.

If thoughts enter your head, recognize that you are thinking. This is only natural. Then, return your attention back to your breath.

^{_{Several of the students after yoga class that began with a seven minute meditation, a hour of yoga moves, and ended with ten minutes of relaxation pose, savasana.}}

Conscious breathing 😮‍💨

As I write these words, I find that my own breathing has slowed. My own heartbeat is slowing. My thoughts, worries, and concerns about how I will convey in writing what I want to share have begun to loosen their grip on my brain as I allow the words to flow in unison with my breath.

This year in my school setting, I have the privilege of teaching a yoga/mindfulness class to high school students. It is a dream I have had for years finally coming to fruition. 17 students, 11 of which are males, which I find remarkable, signed up for the class. Most, but not all, of the students are athletes, overloaded with the act of balancing coursework with their sports’ schedules and the desire to still have a typical teen social life.

However, when they walk through the gym doors, roll out their yoga mats, their job is to take a break from their very real, youthful concerns. It’s not easy. Like all of us, strands of stress and worries cling to their minds and bodies the way cooked noodles often cling to one another if the noodles have not been properly stirred during the cooking process. My job is to stir the proverbial pot of their mind and guide their bodies through yoga movements that encourage the release, at least for a few moments of their day, from the stickiness of their constant concerns.

The Power of the Pause 🙏

The pause between breath reminds them, and really, all of us, of the importance of taking intentional pauses throughout our day to pay attention to the here and now. Mentally pausing to let go of thoughts of the past, thoughts of future plans, and thoughts of all those unanswerable “what ifs” can be a valuable respite. Taking a few moments to close the eyes, tune out the world, and focus on your in and out breath can release tension and provide a short rest for the mind, eyes, and body.

Even on our busiest days, taking a short pause, enough for a few deep breaths, can renew and refresh your focus, especially if you are feeling anxious and/or stressed. By taking deep breaths, especially those in which you can extend the exhale, sends signals to the body to relax.

TEnd and befriend 🧘🏿‍♂️

Based upon my limited understanding, longer exhales encourage the vagus nerve to send a signal to engage the parasympathetic system (think: rest and digest or tend and befriend system) and relax the sympathetic system (think: fight, flight, fawn, or freeze system). Those deep breaths, especially with the longer exhalations, let the body know that it is in a state of calm, so that it can “tend and befriend” the work challenge you must complete rather than “fight” it or all together mentally “freeze.”

In addition to soothing the mind and body, by consciously paying attention to our breathing, we can connect to the wonder of being alive, and the miracle that is our body. Our bodies, with its amazing autonomic nervous system, automatically takes care of so many functions and unconscious processes without us having to think about it. We truly are marvelous creations. Conscious breathing can be that bridge between our physical bodies and our conscious minds, as Thich Nhat Hanh pointed out. And, it is a tool for bringing our attention to the present moment. After all, you can’t focus on your breathing and not be aware of the here and now.

Conscious Breathing is the Link

In the end, taking time to intentionally connect with our breath offers numerous benefits. Deep breaths with long exhales can allay our fears, concerns, and worries. It can bring a sense of calm in a short amount of time to an otherwise chaotic day. Conscious breathing can invigorate and recharge the mind for an important and stressful project. Furthermore, deep breathing can link our minds to our bodies while also bringing our attention to the present moment. So pause, take a deep breath, or three, release the grip on your worries and burdens, and reconnect with here and now, and the font of peace that dwells within.

Finding Stillness at Charlton Lake Camp: A Reflection

July 5, 2024 by stephsimply, posted in Travels

“Only in quiet waters things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.”–Hans Marggolius

*_{The view through the screened in porch overlooking Whitefish River a throughway to Charlton Lake, Frood Lake, and Cranberry Lake.}*

Still Waters 🏞️

I sat observing the waters of the Whitefish River flowing toward stillness–moving from one lake to the next, but in a relaxed state of flow that most often seemed to occur in the early morning or late evening. Occasionally, something would break the surface, and rings would begin spreading outward from the epicenter. When this would happen, I often caught myself holding my breath in anticipation until the last ring dissipated, and the water was once more placid. Then, with the stillness restored, I resumed my own cadence of breathing slow and steady, matching the river’s pulse.

*_{The peaceful, craggy rise of quartzite rise of the ancient La Cloche Mountains surrounding the lakes.}*

Lake Charlton Camp 🏕️

My husband, John, and I were staying in Charlton Lake Camp (CLC) located in Killarney Provincial Park, Willisville, Ontario. This was our second trip to CLC, situated in a natural showcase of diverse pines, surrounded by the white quartzite crests of the La Cloche Mountains and translucent, tea-stained waters of Charlton Lake, Frood Lake, and Cranberry Lake with the Whitefish River providing a throughway to the lakes. In the morning, CLC was filled with a wilderness chorus of birdsong, loon calls, bull frogs, lapping sounds of water against rocky shores, and, of course, the buzzing hum of countless varieties of insects.

Settling into Quiet 🤫

Breathing in deeply, my lungs filled with the aromatic aromas of pines, damp soil, sunned rock, and a hint of morning coffee as I continued to sit and observe, communing with my surroundings. The sun would soon begin lifting above the craggy cliffs behind the cabin in which we stayed, and life would soon begin stirring with those gleaming rays. But, in that moment, hovering between the hush of night and the dawn of daybreak, there was a stillness in which my heart was soft and open–receptive to that still small voice that resides within.

*_{Boating through Frood Lake with the La Cloche Mountains in the foreground.}*

Slipping into the Gap of peacefulness 😌

I once read that praying is talking to the Divine Creator; whereas, meditation is stilling the mind for the purpose of listening. Sitting there on that screened porch on the cusp of a new day, I was reminded of that idea. My heart, head, and soul had relaxed enough to hear the truth–to really parse the ongoing narratives that, when left unchecked, my brain tends to repeat on an endless loop. By settling into the surrounding peacefulness, I could focus on listening, and begin to see how many of those narratives were (and are) often baseless claims forged by past experiences, trauma, anxiety, negative self-talk/criticism, and even a little fear.

Sitting, breathing calmly, and savoring CLC’s peaceful surroundings through my senses, I found I could let my mind rest easily as if the wheel of ceaseless chatter had ground to stop, or at the very least, slowed its revolution. Taking in a deep breath of the clean, wilderness air, I softened my gaze on the water and continued listening.

*_{Afternoon sun glistens off the calm waters of Frood Lake.}*

Riding the waves of emotional influence🌊

Matching my inner calmness to the stillness of the river led me to a realization. My own mind often mirrors those waters of CLC. My mind tends to be at its calmest in the early morning or at night–just before drifting off to sleep, letting go of the day’s worries. However, once the day fully begins, I am immersed in work and various tasks with multiple decisions being made throughout the day. As my decision making increases, my judging brain kicks into high gear. With that continued judgment comes an inner dialogue often influenced and affected by emotions, which rise and fall throughout the day much like the water around me did during the week.

Throughout our time fishing, resting, and relaxing in CLC, I observed how the river and surrounding lakes could quickly become stirred up, rising and falling with the winds of the day, tossed about with a changing weather front, or even fill with large waves when an occasional boat sped across the waters to the farthest end of a lake. There were additional times, when for no discernable reason, the waters would suddenly ascend and descend, jostling the boat John and I were in.

*_{Riding out the waves of emotions can be similar to navigating a fishing boat over wave-filled waters.}*

Restless emotions 😬

Fishing during those moments of restless waters and winds was challenging. The wind would take hold of a perfectly thrown cast and carry the line and lure in a completely different direction than intended. Likewise, when the waters were lifting and dipping with waves, the view beneath the waters was clouded and murky–not allowing the eye to determine if the boat was above rocks, a weed bed, a submerged tree, or any other number of possibilities. Conversely, during the moments of calm, settled waters, navigating and fishing those waters was fairly easy and what was beneath the boat was clearly visible.

*_{Looking out at the peaceful waters of Whitefish River through the screened porch.}*

The influence of a RAcing Mind 🤯

The riverview before me, in that early morning hour, was emblematic not only of ideal fishing waters, but also a peaceful state of mind. Unfortunately, our modern world tends to create and drive the opposite effect–a constant flurry of stirred-up waters–our minds fidgety and/or frantic, racing from one thought to another, moving through agendas of busyness, entertainment, and avoidance. Therefore, if we don’t set aside time to allow our minds an opportunity to cease its chatter and rest easy, how can we ever feel calm and think clearly?

The importance of intentional Quiet 🤫

Our inner dialogue is often affected by the changing weather of our emotions. Those emotions vacillate and shift with each decision we make and with each event we encounter. And while I fully admit that mind chatter, and all of the emotions that come with it, cannot necessarily be avoided, in similar manner to the weather fronts we experienced during my time at CLC, our emotions can vastly change within the course of a day, much less a week. Therefore, deliberately providing pockets of time for stillness allows us to detach from the emotional narratives, and instead, fosters listening to that still, small voice of knowing, which allows us to, well, “fish” for the truth.

*_{Listen for the whisper of our Creator, the great I AM.}*

LeT us Listen for the whisper 👂

Ralph Waldo Emerson once penned, “Let us be silent, that we may hear the whisper of God.” What a powerful reminder of the importance of settling the mind, like the still waters that were before me on that morning at Charlton Lake Camp. The type of quiet we choose can be a formal meditation/reflection, but it could also be achieved through walking or other forms of exercise, tending to your flowers/plants, or simply sitting on the porch sipping coffee or tea and listening to the birds. It really doesn’t matter as long as it is an intentional moment set aside to calm those mental waters of ceaselessly, flowing chatter. Prioritizing time for quiet reflection or meditation, however you define it, allows the flow of our hearts and minds to settle, soften, and encounter the “whisper of God.”

Nutritious Maple Walnut Salad Inspired by Alzheimer’s Study | Health Recipe

June 28, 2024 by stephsimply, posted in Recipes

“I am cautiously optimistic and very encouraged by these findings, which may give many people new hope and new choices,” Dr. Dean Ornish

highly anticipated study 📈

I recently returned from a trip to Ontario, Canada. While I was there, a major study, led by Dr. Dean Ornish, was released in BioMed Central’s Alzheimer’s Research and Therapy. This highly anticipated research was widely promoted across various news outlets weeks earlier. Despite the fact I had read the earlier press releases, reading the report, one peaceful early morning in a rustic cabin along the shores of backwoods lake, provided greater understanding.

As I have previously written, Alzheimer’s disease (AD) and dementia are part of the genetic make-up on both sides of my family history. Watching it take the minds of my beloved grandparents was heartbreaking. Ultimately, they required extensive care in large part due to AD, the burden of which fell upon their children. Therefore, I want to do all that is possible to avoid placing that type of burden upon my loved ones.

Ornish’s study is the first controlled clinical trial to demonstrate that lifestyle habits can delay the onset and progression of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) or early dementia due to AD. The study initially enrolled 51 patients and their designated partners, aged 45-90, for 20 weeks, but two withdrew. Nonetheless, the study guided the remaining 49 patients through a series of interventions, including a plant-based diet; walking 30 minutes per day; strength training three days a week; stress management including yoga, breathing exercises, and meditation, to name a few; group support via Zoom meetings, and specific supplementation, all of which is clearly spelled out.

Excitement Incitement 💡

The excitement of this study got my recipe-creating gears grinding, especially as a major heat wave sank its talons in a large swath of the U.S. and Canada, including where I was staying with my husband. With the extreme heat we were experiencing, the last thing I wanted to do was turn on the cabin’s stove or oven, especially since there was no air conditioning. Therefore, throughout our stay, I created several dinners of seriously large salads, adding additional inspiration for this month’s recipe.

Of further influence was the wide availability of Canadian maple syrup. In fact, I encountered a representative of White Meadows Farms, out of St. Catherine, Ontario. This family-owned farm, established in 1937, has been harvesting sap to make maple syrup for over three generations. After one sample, my taste buds were “stuck” on the flavor of their dark syrup. I knew I had to put their syrup to good use as part of this recipe creation. After all, sweet moderation is an important part of good health.

Nuts for health 🌰

Another point of inspiration for this recipe was the wide availability of bulk walnuts at the local market near our camp. Nut and seeds are a healthy part of the Ornish diet. In fact, according to the Cleveland Clinic, walnuts provide a good source of omega-3 fats and antioxidants for heart health, benefit gut health due to their high fiber content, help stave off inflammation, and may reduce risks for certain cancers. Additionally, those healthy fats and antioxidants may boost brain health–perhaps that is why walnuts are shaped like a brain!

A rainbow recipe of pride 🏳️‍🌈

One final source of inspiration for this recipe was the fact that it was created during June, the month of Pride, dedicated to celebrating my friends and loved ones in the LGBTQ+ community, including my brother and two nieces. It is with great, well, “pride” and celebration that this recipe will debut on June 28, International LGBTQ+ Day. This gorgeous salad offers a RAINBOW of tasty colors and textures designed to nourish EVERY body.

From my home to yours, I wish you health, happiness, and hope for an optimistic future free from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease!

Rainbow salad with maple walnuts and vinaigrette, gluten-free with vegan options

Maple walnuts ingredients:

2 cups walnuts

⅓ cup pure maple syrup

½ to 1 teaspoon vanilla

¼ to ½ teaspoon cinnamon

⅛ teaspoon sea salt

Salad ingredients:

5 or more ounces of favorite baby greens

1 cup sliced strawberries

¾ cup blueberries

2-3 clementines, sectioned

½ sliced large red onion

½ cup roasted red peppers and/or shredded carrots

2-4 ounces goat, or equivalent vegan, cheese or 1 cup beans, drained and rinsed

Maple walnut balsamic vinaigrette ingredients:

¼ cup walnuts

½ cup water

¼ cup balsamic vinegar

2 tablespoons maple syrup

1 tablespoons dijon mustard

½ teaspoon dried onion powder

½ teaspoon dried oregano

⅛ teaspoon salt

Pepper to taste

Maple walnut directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Line baking pan with parchment paper or lightly grease and set aside

Place maple syrup in a small, microwave safe bowl.

Heat syrup for 30-60 seconds

Stir in vanilla, cinnamon, and sea salt until thoroughly mixed

Pour syrup mixture over walnuts, and stir until well coated

Spread coated walnuts onto prepared baking sheet

Bake 5-7 minutes, then stir and rotate

Continue baking for 3-5 minutes or until walnuts are golden brown

Remove walnuts from oven and allow to cool on baking sheet

Break walnuts apart and store in airtight container or baggie for up to 3-4 for weeks

Enjoy these maple walnuts as a snack or sprinkle over salads, fruit bowls, oatmeal, yogurt parfaits, ice cream sundaes, etc

Maple walnut balsamic vinaigrette directions:

Place all ingredients in high powered blender and blend until smooth, approximately 45 seconds

Pour into glass container (I like to use canning jar)

Store in refrigerator for up to 4 weeks

Makes approximately 1 cup dressing

To assemble salad:

Add greens to large salad bowl

Add sliced strawberries, blueberries, clementines, sliced red onion, sliced red pepper, and/or shredded carrots, if using.

Toss with desired amount of dressing, divide among plates/bowls and top with goat or vegan cheese (or top with beans instead, such as roasted chickpeas)

Serves 2-4

This recipe also took inspiration from the following websites and articles: Better with Cake, The Garden Grazer, Hello Nutritarian, “Effects of intensive lifestyle changes on the progression of mild cognitive impairment or early dementia due to Alzheimer’s disease: a randomized, controlled clinical trial,” an article on BioMed Central,“‘A study to give us hope’: Lifestyle changes improve Alzheimer’s symptoms for some,” an article on CNN, and Shane and Simple.

Mindful Breathing for Inner Peace: Embracing the Wisdom of Native American Tradition

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.”–Swami Vivekananda

_{Author note: A reader requested I write another meditation. I hope this benefits not only that reader, but anyone else who may be in need of a quiet mind, even if only for a few moments.}

Wakeful Worries 😏

As I rose early on a recent morning, thoughts were bouncing around on the trampoline of my mind. I had a to-do list that was growing and several creative ideas sprouting. Overriding all of this, however, were stresses and worries springing about like jackrabbits in the desert. In fact, those negative thoughts, I realized with a sudden clarity, had been vying for residency in my mind for several weeks to the point they were disrupting my sleep.

Feeling the inner war, I opened a window, sat down in a chair near it–cup of coffee in hand–and welcomed nature’s morning muzak. I took in a deep inhale, and slowly let it out.

Inhaling, I felt the expanse of my ribs. Exhaling, I sensed bits of tension releasing. Focusing on my breath, I gently closed my eyes in an attempt to relax my body and release the mind noise. Inhale, soften. Exhale, dissolve.

Focused Breathing 😮‍💨

I am unsure how long I remained in this focused state of breathing, but soon, my mind drifted–as it tends to do–back into thoughts. Thoughts of past events, worries of future events, and pressing concerns for the day ahead kept popping up. I had to keep redirecting my mind back to my breath and gently pushed aside those niggling thoughts. It wasn’t easy. Like a curious toddler trying to tempt fate, my mind kept circling back to those all-consuming worries and concerns.

Inhale, redirect the mind back to the breath. Exhale. Let go of the negative thoughts jostling for attention.

As my mind engaged in this game of ping-pong, I was reminded of a story I heard years ago during my yoga teacher training.

Inhale, notice how easily the body can breathe. Exhale, notice how naturally the body releases.

The Parable of the two Wolves 🐺

The story, as I recall, is based on a Native American parable. An old tribal leader was teaching his grandson about life. The grandfather tells his grandson that there is a fight going on inside of him. He describes it as a terrible fight between two wolves.

Inhale, notice the ease of breath.

One wolf is evil, the story goes. He is filled with anger, envy, superiority, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false-pride, and ego.

Exhale, let go more.

The other wolf is good. He is filled with joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, and compassion.

Inhale, lungs fill.

The grandson thought about it for a minute, and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

Exhale, lungs release.

The old tribal leader smiled and replied, “The wolf you feed will win.”

Inhale truth; exhale falsities.

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

our Thoughts can be shackling ⛓️

I sat with the story, returning to the ebb and flow of my breath. The nourishment of the inhale continued to fill me with a sense of peace. The long, slow exhale showered the soul, washing away worries, fears, and anxieties.

Many of us have experienced moments when we feel shackled by memories and traumas of past events. For some of us, those past occurrences created deeply-rooted fears, planted in our minds like cancerous tumors. Those seeds of fear from long-ago have a tendency to create clouds of self-doubt, blocking rays of hope and joy that can be found in the present moment.

Inhale, strength. Exhale, dread.

However, there are times when all the present can offer you is a stem full of thorny events as if the sweet blossoms of life have been stolen. Illness, disease, work-day stressors, financial struggles, and numerous other difficulties prickle and needle our days with seemingly no balm for the soul. At these times, it can be easy to dip into the waters of sorrow, the woe-is-me story.

Inhale, perseverance. Exhale, detachment from the story.

mindful connections 😌

However, even when we are surrounded by the chaos of life, there is a place of peace and ease. All it takes is a moment to reconnect with our breath, the river of calm and life-giving force within us. By giving up the struggle for one moment, we can let go of the bubbles of tension held within our depths, and allow them to rise and release with each exhale. With each inhalation, we strengthen our connection to our True Source, our Infinite Creator. With each exhalation, we can surrender our illusion of control and trust that all is as it should be.

Inhale, fortitude. Exhale, liberate the mind.

By watching the ebb and flow of each inhale and exhale, we can lay down our burdens of our fear, doubt, and pain for the time being, and allow the Universe to carry the load for us. We can inhale the peace, and with the exhale, perceive the lightness of nothing is weighing us down in the moment. We can allow ourselves to feel the Divine creations that we are, and have faith in the process. All is well in this moment as we breathe.

Inhale, trust. Exhale, believe.

breathe. connect. have faith. 😌

In the same way that we trust our lungs to breathe for us–even when we are not focused on them–so too must we put our trust in our Creator and the flow of our life. It doesn’t mean all will be perfect, for life is not simple. However, when life, and/or those around you, choose to feed the bad wolf, take a breath, and remind yourself that you have the power to choose to feed the good wolf, simply by pausing and taking a few deep breaths.

Inhale, faith. Exhale, peace.

One breath in, one breath out for peace and calm

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“We need to find God, and that cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is a friend of silence. See how nature–trees, flowers, grass grows in silence . . . We need silence to be able to touch souls.” –Mother Teresa

The Miracle of EArly Morning 🌅

One of my favorite times of day is the stillness of the early morning. Don’t get me wrong, depending upon how early I have to get up, it can be a chore to drag myself out of bed. However, once I am up, enveloped by the hum of the house and the ambiance of the celebratory, daybreak birdsong, I feel a peace begin to zip up around me like my favorite hooded jacket.

Now that daylight arrives earlier, it is especially delightful on the weekends to sit at my desk, steaming mug of coffee beside the laptop, and gaze out the open window as the birds continue their lilting praise of the arrival of daybreak. Sometimes I see the contrails from a jet writing across the sky. Other times I observe the rustle of trees or my neighbor’s cat stalking some unseen prey. Regardless of what I notice, I take a deep breath, and invite the silence within.

Gazing out into the trees and grass of my backyard, there is a peacefulness of the Divine Presence. Observing the continual miracle of seasonal change, I am bearing witness to the continuity, strength, and resiliency of nature. With one breath in and one breath out, I can connect to Divine life force within, silently supplying me with continued strength.

Welcome the Silence 🤲

I continue to welcome the silence, and I allow it to wash over me, cleansing the stresses and worries of the night that interrupted my sleep. I ask God to hold space for me within the silence as my soul settles into place. One breath in. One breath out. Each breath, rich in the silence, nourishing my peace of mind, if only for a few minutes.

Momentarily, I become part of the silence and my brain softens into the quiet, temporarily liberated from its continuous lists of things to do, notice, and concerns. One breath in. One breath out. I feel the silence breathing peace through me, filling my cells. I ask for the peace to live through me and to emanate from my actions, knowing even then, I will still stumble into mistakes.

The early morning silence centers and anchors me to the importance of being more mindful of the here and now. One breath in. One breath out. I allow the silence to cultivate peace within that moment, and I ask that it remain with me as I move through my day, understanding that disturbances of my inner peace will also most likely occur throughout the day. I further pray the silence will infuse and imbue my day with moments of peace I can offer others, if only through the simple act of a smile or kind word.

Photo by Csankovszki Tibor on Pexels.com

Whispers of Silent Inspiration 🙏

If I am fortunate, the silence will sometimes whisper inspiration when I do encounter stress in a later moment. It only requires that I momentarily bring awareness to my breath, and once more, I can connect to the True Source filling my lungs, giving me life. One breath in. One breath out.

When the silent morning meditation begins to wind down, I become more aware of my surroundings and my own physical body. I look for those poetic plane contrails, but they have usually vaporized, reminding me of the impermanence of struggles, strife, and life in general. One breath in. One breath out. My words, my thoughts, my deeds are like those contrails, here, in this moment, but eventually given to the heavens.

Bringing awareness to the moment, I will feel the tendrils of morning silence loosening its grip, and I mourn briefly that I must leave its embrace. There are more words to be written, more students that need taught, and more people that need loved. One breath in. One breath out. I remind myself that I can always come back to the comforting peace of the silence of my mind with one moment of conscious breathing.

The antidote to noise and Chatter 🧘

It seems to me that we currently live in a world where many of us have forgotten, or even fear, silence. Chatter and noise seem to flow in an endless supply, alongside daily routines filled with responsibilities and heaping portions of distractions. However, by seeking the solace of silence and focusing on your breath, if even for a few moments, we may discover our heart rate slows, racing thoughts may decrease, and the body may relax a bit. One breath in. One breath out.

The older I get, the more my appreciation and need for silence grows. If we listen too long to the noise of the media, news, traffic, screens, chatter, and so on, our stress increases, our worry increases, and our anxiety increases. We forget that silence soothes our souls and brings us back to the presence of God within and around us. All it takes is one breath in and one breath out.

Berry Immunity Boosting Smoothie aka Stress Less Smoothie

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Recipes

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”–William James

The challenge of work-life balance⚖️

It is not uncommon to engage in conversations centering around stress. Attempting to balance the demands of work and life can be challenging. The combination of long work hours, while also juggling the needs of family, make it difficult to have time to do the things that would otherwise relieve stress, such as regular exercise, outings with friends, or even a relaxing soak in the tub.

When stress ramps up, there is a chain-reaction in our bodies. According to Harvard School of Public Health, when stress is high, the body’s demand for oxygen and energy increases, which in turn increases the demand for key nutrients. Simultaneously, stress causes the body to eliminate other vital nutrients. This can take a toll on the body’s immune system.

As the chain reaction of stress continues, hormones become affected. If the stress is acute, the body will secrete adrenaline, which suppresses appetite. However, when the stress becomes more chronic, cortisol levels begin to rise, instigating food cravings. Cortisol tends to create cravings for foods that are typically considered “comfort foods,” full of sugar, salt, and fat. Unfortunately, if cortisol stays elevated, the chain reaction continues to wreak havoc upon our bodies, and this often influences our coping strategies.

The body’s stress response 😰

Chronic high stress time periods, depletes the body of energy and can often reduce time available for decompression. This can inhibit the desire to prepare healthy, nutritious meals. Sometimes, chronic stress causes us to skip meals. The downside to skipping meals is that, as the cortisol levels rise, once there is an opportunity to eat, we tend to reach for those comfort foods that will not replenish the body’s stores of diminished nutrients.

Therefore, how we respond to stress matters. With some situations, we can identify upcoming stressful time periods before they begin, and thus, we can be more proactive. However, that isn’t always the case. Nonetheless, there are a few basic guidelines, according to The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill that are worth remembering.

Tips for eating during times of stress 😣

Keep nutrient-dense grab-and-go snacks on hand at all times. Foods like baby carrots, celery sticks, hummus cups, guacamole cups, apples, oranges, bananas, popcorn, almonds, walnuts, pistachios, low-sugar yogurt, low-sugar granola, low-sugar oatmeal packets, whole-grain crackers and so forth.
Eat at regular intervals when possible. This will keep blood sugar stable, and keep the brain, which needs glucose, working at its best.
Eat high-fiber foods. Foods, such as fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, beans, oatmeal, and other whole grains, have been shown to decrease perceived stress levels and increase alertness.
Focus on eating fruits and vegetables, especially leafy greens, whenever possible. These foods are filled with the vitamins and minerals your body needs to neutralize the harmful molecules our bodies produce when under stress.
Foods rich in unsaturated fat also help. Think walnuts, flax seeds, chia seeds, and fish oil to name a few. These foods are associated with increased brain function; however, deficiencies in fatty acids can result in depression and/or anxiety.
Be mindful of caffeine and/or alcohol intake. Both of these can disrupt sleep, which the body desperately needs during times of stress. Additionally, both can increase blood pressure, which can increase feelings of anxiety.
Ensure your body is getting enough quality sleep. Getting enough sleep allows the body to reduce cortisol levels and other stress hormones, increasing the chances of remaining calmer in the face of stress.
Employ constructive coping strategies. Whether it is talking to a trusted friend or therapist, journaling, meditating, asking for help, or going for a walk–developing positive coping skills is a lifetime skill set.

The reality of stress 😩

Stress is reality at different points in our lives. While we cannot control when it will arise, we can control our response to it. It is easy and understandable to seek comfort during times of stress. However, when those sources of comfort become unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as over- or undereating, drinking alcohol in excess, going without sleep, and so forth, we risk using short-sighted solutions that could lead to developing long-term problems, creating even more stress.

Stress less smoothie 🍓

Below is my newest smoothie creation. It is full of nutrient-rich foods that are high in fiber. Some of the ingredients may cause you to raise an eye-brow in wonder, but I promise, it does taste great. That said, feel free to adjust, add to, or eliminate ingredients that don’t suit your palate or dietary needs.

This recipe can be made ahead of time and frozen into individual servings. They will stay fresh in the freezer for up to three months. Then, whenever faced with a stressful day, take one smoothie out the night before, set it in the fridge to thaw, and then it’s grab-and-go convenience for the next workday. Sip on it through a lunch meeting, or if more time is available, pour it into a bowl and sprinkle on favorite fruit and nut/seed toppings, along with a bit of granola.

I can’t promise that this recipe will change the stress around you. However, it does provide a powerful nutritional punch to help stave off the effects of stress, and offers one less thing to worry about. Plus, it feels good knowing that if everything else goes wrong in the day, at least one small part of your day was stress-free.

Cheers to one less thing to stress about!

Berry Stress Less Smoothie

Nutrient dense, stress combating meal replacement

Ingredients:

2 cup spinach, riced cauliflower, or kale (can be frozen)

½ cup strawberries, frozen

½ cup raspberries, frozen

½ cup cherries, frozen

1 apple

½ cup lentils

1 parsnips

2 tablespoon flax, chia seeds, or hemp seeds (or combination of any two)

2 tablespoons goji berries, OR 2 medjool dates, OR 2 prunes, optional

2 tablespoons cocoa or cacao powder, optional

2 scoops protein powder, optional

1 cup beet juice (can use pomegranate or cherry juice or simply use water)

1 cup milk plant or dairy based variation)

½-1 cup of water, if too thick

Directions:

Put all ingredients in high powered blender

Blend until creamy and smooth

Makes 2 large servings

Get More Grounded: The Benefits and Lesson of Tree Pose

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“Be like a tree. Stay grounded. Connect with your roots. Turn over a new leaf. Bend before you break. Enjoy your unique natural beauty. Keep growing.”–Joanne Raptis

Photo by SHVETS production on Pexels.com

The magic of Tree Pose 🌳

“Trees sway; get more grounded,” my husband chimed along with the yoga instructor on the DVD as we attempted tree pose on a Monday morning before work, the classic yoga balancing pose that requires standing on one leg.

I appreciate tree pose for many reasons. It strengthens feet, spine, ankles, legs, and core. Further, it opens the hip area, stretches the inner thigh and groin muscles. Plus, it can improve one’s concentration and focus while simultaneously improving alignment of spine and posture. Most of all, it is a pose of balance, which can help in a multitude of ways.

Symbolically, tree pose serves up several lessons. However, one of the more literal lessons of tree pose is that of remaining in the present moment. It’s nearly impossible to balance in tree pose and think into the future or reflect on the past because you end up falling out of the pose. I was reminded of those lessons this past Tuesday, or as I have come to know it as, “Twister (or Tornado) Tuesday.”

Photo by Ralph W. lambrecht on Pexels.com

Shelter in Place 🌪️

As a veteran educator, I have experienced a wide-array of events, including those that require shelter-in-place. In fact, I can still recall the first time I experienced shelter-in-place with students 30+ years ago. I was teaching in a mobile unit at a great distance from the main brick and mortar school building. The students under my care ranged from 5-12 years of age, and they had been identified as “severe behavior handicapped.”

There were twelve students, ten boys and two girls. Since this was the early 1990s, computers and cell phones were not widely available in the classroom setting. This classroom had an intercom type “phone” that only connected from the school office to the classroom. It was through this “phone” that I received the message that the entire school was sheltering in place in the hallways. The school received a call that a tornado had touched down in another part of the county and was heading our way. I was to gather my twelve, not-always-so-compliant students, and move them to the main building as quickly as possible.

By the time I received the “call,” a heavy metal concert of rain and wind had already begun, drumming and shaking the metal building rhymically with tantruming, angry torrents of sideways rain. Quickly, the paraprofessionals and I helped the students into their school-issued red rain parkas, and that is when the resistance began.

“I am not going out in that rain.”

“I don’t like getting wet.”

“No, I won’t!”

“I’m scared!”

Whether it was the determined, I-am-not-kidding look in my eyes, Divine intervention, or a combination of both, the paraprofessionals and I miraculously gathered all of them in a line. Holding hands as one unit, we began fighting our way through the class door that kept trying to swallow us back inside due to the enraged winds. Once outside, raindrops pelted any exposed skin, including the students’ face and heads as their hoods were immediately blown off. We fought our way to the safety of the school while the passion of the rain and winds seemed to increase and determinedly tried to shove us backwards.

By the time we made it to the school, none of us were dry as the pernicious storm found a way to penetrate even the sturdiest of rain coats. Quickly, we hustled the students to the primary wing of the school, finding a piece of wall away from windows where they could drop to their knees and cover their heads, rivulets of water streaming over all of us, while adrenalin continued to accelerate my heart rate.

Twister Tuesday 🪟

This memory bolted through my mind on “Twister Tuesday” as my classroom, and the surrounding classrooms, were filled with the strident sound of the emergency broadcast system sending an urgent message to seek shelter immediately. Our middle school classrooms are located on the top floor of our school building, and the entire middle school was directed to make their way to the first floor as quickly as possible. In order to do that, we had to run down three flights of stairs in a glass-lined stairwell. As we headed down, the irate storm quickly made its presence known. Like Lyssa, a figure in Greek mythology who is said to drive others mad, the storm insanely clambered and clawed at the windows demanding to get inside, but meeting a wall of resistance.

Once downstairs, it was hot, crowded, and overripe with the odor of sweaty, nervous bodies as we sheltered in place away from doors and windows alongside first and second graders as well as preschoolers from the two- and three- year old classes. At times, there were crescendos of anxious voices of students–or, in the case of some of the little ones–crying. During other moments, there were a few older students who experienced panic attacks, but there were many more who remained calm. There were even those selfless students who chose to hold, cuddle, and comfort younger preschoolers, focusing on the needs of others, rather than themselves.

*_{Middle school students caring for the needs of preschoolers during a shelter in place scenario.}*

And if you Fall . . . Pick yourself 🆙

As I walked among the students, checking on them, assuring some, answering questions of others, my mind echoed with the words from the previous day, “Trees sway; get more grounded.” And so, I ground down into my faith. If the students and staff of my previous school survived that former storm way back in the 90s, surely we would survive this one too. My emotions could sway like the tree on the inside, but the more I swayed, the more I reminded myself to ground down and try to remain balanced in the present moment in order to better focus on those around me.

It wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t perfect. But here’s the thing about tree pose. It’s a great way to practice falling. If you fall out of tree pose, you pick yourself up, and try to return to the pose once more.

Like my beloved tree-pose, Twister Tuesday provided another stretch and realignment personally and professionally as well as to my faith. It challenged my focus and concentration in order to remain balanced. And when I “fell,” forgetting to remain focused on the present moment, all I had to do was “pick myself up” and try to return to it once more. Most of all, that Tuesday served as a powerful reminder of the power of the True Source dwelling within and around us, always available to keep us grounded.

*_{Another middle school student getting grounded in the present moment of another’s need.}*

The Lost Art of Delayed Gratification

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. . . . All good things are worth waiting for . . .”–Susan Gale

Window of opportunity ⏱️

One of the more popular health trends that continues to grab headlines is around time-restricted eating or TRE. It is a form of intermittent fasting in which a person chooses a window of time within a day, typically 6-12 hours, in which they eat. During the time outside of this window, those following a TRE protocol, do not consume any other calories and drink only water, although there are some following a TRE plan that consume unsweetened tea or coffee.

The idea of TRE is to reduce the amount of overall calories consumed in a day and to reduce less-positive habits such as eating late at night or snacking too much early in the day. Besides the obvious benefits of managing body weight, scientific research into TRE continues to show promising results, including reducing insulin resistance, reduction of inflammation and oxidative stress, can alter and improve the composition of the microbiome, and improved sleep to name a few.

Time to Eat 🍱

Time restricted eating is nothing new to me. In fact, my childhood taught this. I grew up with a natural TRE called breakfast, lunch, dinner and no snacking in between. Furthermore, my parents believed that if we didn’t like what was offered at a certain meal; well, we wouldn’t starve because I could eat again at the next meal.

I can recall sitting in elementary school feeling my stomach growl. Sure, I had breakfast, but we ate early in order to make the school bus. I would look at the large classroom clock on the wall, counting down the time until the teacher l lined us up and walked us to lunch. Standing in line waiting for everyone to go to the restroom, wash their hands, and line back up, my mouth would water in anticipation of food. By the time I sat down with the other students who had packed their lunches, I thought I would perish from hunger! But, oh how good that simple food tasted when I could finally take a bite!

By the time I got home from school, my stomach would once more be begging for food, but there was a hard-fast rule. No snacking before dinner because you’ll ruin your appetite. This was made more challenging if my parents had ordered a tray lunch from the school cafeteria, and I didn’t like the food. Still, there was no debating–wait until dinner.

Fortunately, we tended to eat between 5:00 and 6:00 pm, so I didn’t have to wait too long. However, I tended to be persnickety about certain food items, so if the meal consisted of a food (or foods) that I didn’t like, too bad for me–or any of my siblings for that matter–there was always breakfast. We weren’t going to starve–even if we thought we would.

Delayed Gratification ⌚︎

The beauty of my parent’s rules, whether they intended it or not, was two-fold. First, food tastes better when truly hungry. It felt downright wonderful to have a hearty appetite as I sat down for a meal. The other skill learned was the art of delayed gratification.

Sure, I’ve went through phases, such as camps, overnight stays with friends or family, and later in college and as a young adult, where I ate completely differently than how I was raised–eating at irregular times and noshing on foods I would have never been able to eat at home.

As an adult, I have also likewise gone through similar phases. It is more challenging now to have those structured meal times since food is so widely available at all hours of the day. No wonder TRE is so popular now. It brings back that structure and discipline in which I was raised.

The art of delayed gratification, given the immediacy that technology brings, is perhaps becoming a bit of a lost skill set. The ability to resist an immediate reward for a greater or more favorable reward later requires self-regulation and impulse control, skills that often get lost while scrolling through our various screens. However, delayed gratification is a skill that can be learned at any age, but it is not easy.

Benefits of Delayed Gratification 🎓

Delayed gratification is what some parents try to teach their children by insisting that all homework must be completed before the kids are given permission to choose a more preferred activity. It is what adults practice when saving for an important item, such as buying a new car, house, or even something as simple as setting aside money for rent, groceries, utilities, and other bills. In fact, anytime we choose not to be distracted from our goals or priorities, we are practicing delaying gratification.

Success in any endeavor, from career to finances, to the most mundane such as cleaning house to choosing when and what to eat, requires the ability to resist the temptation to do something easier (the distraction) and instead, complete something harder, such as studying for that next level career exam or simply choosing, as my parents taught me oh-so-long ago, only eat at meal times.

Photo by SevenStorm JUHASZIMRUS on Pexels.com

So how do we get better at delayed gratification? ⤵️

There are multiple books, articles, and youtube videos designed to provide various methods. Some people like big changes all at once, such as TRE, leaning into some variation of: Here’s the rules, the parameters, and the start date. For certain personalities, a total overhaul of their habits works great.

However, I tend to prefer more gentle approaches such as:

Start with one small change (habit) and stack it with an already existing habit, i.e. I already drink coffee in the morning, why not drink 8-12 ounces of water beforehand?
Repeat that change again the next day
Set a goal for continuing that new change/habit for a set amount of days with a planned celebration/reward upon reaching the goal
If you’re really resistant to completing something, set a timer for two minutes. At the end of those two minutes, get started. (It sounds silly, but for some people, it works.)
Try the “if-then” principle: “If I do this,” (clean kitchen, set up budget, exercise . .), “then I can do this” (scroll through social media, read, nap, etc. . .).
Play mind games and daydream (Instead of focusing on what you want to do, daydream about all of the positive feelings you will undergo sticking to and achieving your plan. Likewise, focus on the negative feelings you will experience if you give-in to a distraction.)
Offer forgiveness to yourself when you slip-up (and we all do), but then return to your goal again the next day.

Make Delayed Gratification work for you! 😄

Ultimately, whether you are trying to stick to TRE, save for new tires on your vehicle, or make that next big career step, employing the art of delayed gratification can help you keep your goals at the forefront of your mind. By keeping those goals small and achievable, you can visualize the steps along the path to success (better health, cleaner house, better finances, etc . . .), make peace with your distractions, focus more on your plan/goal, and face challenges (aka distractions) with a bit more self-composure and kindness to self.

Listening is an Art 🎨

Three ways of listening 👂

Two Other types of Listening 🎧

Listening to Respond 🗣️

Listening to react 🙎‍♂️

Listening to understand 🤔

Space for listening 🤐

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Another Year Celebrated 🎂

A Chance Encounter 👩🏽‍🦳

Sound Advice 🧑‍💼

Conscious Aging

Identify age-appropriate Role models

Engage across decades

embrace change as a natural part of Life

Embrace REality with optimism

Live with purpose

learn new things

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Settle your mind 🧘

Conscious breathing 😮‍💨

The Power of the Pause 🙏

TEnd and befriend 🧘🏿‍♂️

Conscious Breathing is the Link

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Still Waters 🏞️

Lake Charlton Camp 🏕️

Settling into Quiet 🤫

Slipping into the Gap of peacefulness 😌

Riding the waves of emotional influence🌊

Restless emotions 😬

The influence of a RAcing Mind 🤯

The importance of intentional Quiet 🤫

LeT us Listen for the whisper 👂

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highly anticipated study 📈

Excitement Incitement 💡

Nuts for health 🌰

A rainbow recipe of pride 🏳️‍🌈

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Wakeful Worries 😏

Focused Breathing 😮‍💨

The Parable of the two Wolves 🐺

our Thoughts can be shackling ⛓️

mindful connections 😌

breathe. connect. have faith. 😌

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The Miracle of EArly Morning 🌅

Welcome the Silence 🤲

Whispers of Silent Inspiration 🙏

The antidote to noise and Chatter 🧘

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The challenge of work-life balance⚖️

The body’s stress response 😰

Tips for eating during times of stress 😣

The reality of stress 😩

Stress less smoothie 🍓

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The magic of Tree Pose 🌳

Shelter in Place 🌪️

Twister Tuesday 🪟

And if you Fall . . . Pick yourself 🆙

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Window of opportunity ⏱️

Time to Eat 🍱

Delayed Gratification ⌚︎

Benefits of Delayed Gratification 🎓

So how do we get better at delayed gratification? ⤵️

Make Delayed Gratification work for you! 😄

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