Month: July 2026

Succeeding at Being Old: What an 18-year-old cat taught me about adaptation

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

Sometimes the greatest lessons about aging, resilience, and self-compassion come from the most unexpected teachers.

It Was Supposed to Be “Easy-Peasy” 😌

“It’s so intuitive!” I was told. 

“The GPS and data are so much more reliable.”


“The battery lasts so much longer.”

I had been considering switching from one brand of smartwatch to another. Fellow runners recommended it, but so did friends and family. My husband especially encouraged the switch because I had purchased one for him years earlier.

Still, I researched and debated the switch for years before finally deciding to “set the clock,” as it were, and buy one from a local shop. The team at Robert’s Running and Walking helped me set up my new watch. They assured me that it was “easy-peasy,” and I would “love it.”

Three days into owning one, I was ready to throw in the proverbial towel—or in this case, throw the dang watch through a window. I questioned my intelligence for buying it and wondered whether I had reached a new low in technological competence. I kept asking myself, “What’s wrong with you, Steph?” 

My struggles with the new watch were not an isolated event. It was one domino in a series of small incidents that sent me spiraling into the I-am-so-stupid mindset. This negative self-talk, I have noticed, has become amplified with age. It is quite astonishing to see how quickly I can move from, “I don’t know how to do this,” to “There must be something wrong with me.” 

A Better Question 🤔

During the height of my “something is wrong with me” stretch, I came across a social media creator who became an unexpected teacher. Actually, it was the creator’s moniker that caught my attention: “Whatstrongwithu”. I love a good play on words, so this turn of phrase really stood out to me. 

Later, as I was preparing for bed, running through the day’s events with the outlook of the children’s book character, Alexander, known for his “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days,” I had a flash of inspiration. What if I flipped my inner dialogue from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What’s strong with you?” like the moniker. What abilities, experiences, persistence, curiosity, kindness, adaptability, or perhaps even wisdom do I already possess?

Then, my mind wandered to the previous week’s scare when we thought we would lose our beloved 18-year-old cat, Tippi-Tail. After beginning a new medication for hyperthyroidism, she developed alarming side effects and seemed to rapidly decline. We quickly scheduled an appointment with our veterinarian, fearing the worst. Fortunately, her symptoms turned out to be a short-lived reaction to the treatment, and her bloodwork revealed she was doing remarkably well for her age. 

Tippi-Tail’s Nine Lives 😸

Reflecting on her life further, I thought of her “nine lives”, although, truth be told, she’s had about three. When she was young, Tippi acted impulsively. In fact, we often called her “wild” as she went rip-roaring through the house, knocking over plants, and attacking our then older feline friend, Bobbi with wild abandon. We would correct her with a squirt from a water bottle and a firm “no,” but she was fearless, looking at us with her big-eyed stare of indignation. 

During her middle years, our home became busier and noisier with another cat, another dog, and our energetic daughter and her friends. The fearless kitten who once charged through the house with wild abandon was now more cautious, often retreating under beds or into closets when her world became too stimulating and overwhelming.

In recent years, since the passing of all other pets and our daughter having moved out, Tippi has become an affectionate, cuddly pet. She is now a lap cat who drools when she’s petted as her motor runs. Even more surprising, she greets guests instead of going into hiding, and will even allow them to pet her or occasionally honor them by curling up in their lap. 

Learning to Grow Older 👵🏼

It dawned on me that Tippi-Tail wasn’t meant to be the cat she once was at two years old. She can’t jump as high or move as quickly as she once did, but she still leaps into the window when the neighbor’s cat appears. Her body has changed, yet she grooms herself with meticulous care. Tippi isn’t failing at being young. She is succeeding at being old. 

At my age, my body may not move as it once did when I was younger. I may not learn new technology as quickly as I once did. I may need more recovery time than I once did. In fact, I may have to adapt how I do certain things, but that adaptation doesn’t mean I am failing. 

Watching Tippi-Tail adapt to each stage of her life reminded me of something I needed to hear myself. Like Tippi-Tail, perhaps we aren’t failing at being the younger versions of ourselves. Perhaps we are learning how to succeed at who we are now. 

Maybe the question isn’t, “What’s wrong with you?” Maybe the better question is, “What’s strong with you?” What strengths do we already possess that can help us navigate the challenges in front of us?

Rustic wooden table with bowl of fruit and vase of pink and purple roses

We Live Inside What We Remember

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

Sometimes the moments we almost decline become the memories we treasure most.

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?”—C. S. Lewis

💌An Invitation I Almost Declined

As my husband and I drove to meet my daughter and her boyfriend for dinner, I could feel the dull headache just behind my eyes. My mind pinged through what I had already checked off on the administration’s end-of-the-year checklist. Tomorrow there would still be a few minor items to wrap up the school year and this year’s graduation. Saturday would still begin early with a long run, followed by household chores tucked in between loads of laundry. Ah, but I could look forward to putting my feet up Saturday evening!

“Do you mind if we come out Saturday? I was also thinking about bringing . . .”

My insides began to tighten. I am embarrassed to say that my first instinct was to protect my energy and say no because I was so dog-tired. My daughter is an educator too, and I knew she had to be exhausted. So if she was asking, it must really matter to her. 

Sensing my hesitation—she knows me so well—she quickly offered a compromise. 

“We can order pizza.” 

This would reduce my efforts, she added. 

Saying “yes” meant I would do some hosting prep, while still doing my usual Saturday routine. I would need to cut up fresh fruit and vegetables for hummus, toss a large green salad with more fresh toppings on the side, put together a few other snacks, and bake a homemade dessert. Surely I could manage that.

🏡The Business of Life

Once home from dinner, with Saturday’s plan fully established, I watched an episode of Downton Abbey. Mr. Carson observed, “The business of life is the acquisition of memories. In the end, that’s all there is.” 

That line struck a nerve. I had been trying to protect my rest when life was offering an opportunity for a memory. 

I looked over at our kitchen table. In the center of it sat a bouquet leftover from Mother’s Day, nearly two weeks earlier. Half of the flowers had already been tossed because they had faded and wilted. The rest looked as if they were hanging on to their last whisper of energy. 

In my mind, I sifted through memories. How strange it is to realize that my mind is filled with decades of unorganized snapshots: names half-remembered, a hodgepodge of family, friends, and former students—small moments and not-so-small moments that outlived many so-called major events. Strange, isn’t it, that we eventually live inside what we remember?

John and I have spent years investing time in the earliest stages of the lives of young people. There are many faces we remember whose names elude us. There have been countless students over whom we have worried and fretted, those who surprised us in ways we never expected, and untold small classroom moments that by some miracle remain in our hearts today. Looking back, it is stunning to realize that we are often so busy arranging the bouquets of life without fully knowing which flowers will last.

At this stage of life, it is hard not to measure. Some people have accumulated wealth. Others have attained status, square footage, or other visible markers of success. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of that. Hard work is hard work. 

But there is, perhaps, another type of good fortune: lunch dates with friends, graduation ceremonies, family gatherings, long conversations, children returning home, or even unexpected Saturday evening dinners. 

🚚Future Memories

My daughter and her boyfriend will soon be moving to Boston. Time with them will then become a precious commodity. Her young adult life will continue to bloom somewhere else—hundreds of miles away. Saturday night dinners will not always be available. And if my lived experience has taught me anything, it is this: we do not always recognize future memories while we are still living them. Yet later, we will live inside what we remember. 

On Saturday evening, plates were loaded and emptied. One story easily led to another. Laughter filled the rooms. We teased Maddie’s boyfriend far too much, but he was such a good sport about it. Our cat kept circling around our daughter, her boyfriend, and their friend—so happy “her girl” was home, if only for a short time. 

No matter how tired we are, or how carefully we guard our energy, love has a way of interrupting us. And in the end, if we are lucky, we live inside that love.