In addition to being a free-lance writer and creator of Steph Simply website, Stephanie is a 6-8 ELA educator at St. Joseph Catholic Middle School in Huntington, WV. She is also a RYT-200 certified yoga instructor as well as Reiki levels 1 and 2 certified. “Your work is not to drag the world kicking and screaming into a new awareness. Your job is to simply do your work… sacredly, secretly, silently … and those with ‘eyes to see and ears to hear’ will respond.’”–Unknown
Marathon training changed what I thought was possible. It also taught me that some of life’s most important things aren’t meant to change.
“At the still point of the turning world.
Neither flesh, nor fleshless;
Neither from, nor towards;
at the still point, there the dance is.”
— T. S. Eliot
🌅 Morning Routine
It was still dark, cool but thankfully no longer the stinging cold of January. Reflective, fluorescent green straps and a chest lamp lit the road as I headed back to the car to meet my husband, John, finishing his workout at the gym. The first birds had begun, their harmonies promising the sun. I inhaled deeply and ran through the morning’s checklist.
Start the dishwasher once both showers were done. Finish herbal tea and refill my bottle with a hydration mix for work. Lunch was already packed—thankfully, my usual. Still left: pack my work bag, shower, and call my daughter. We typically chat most mornings while getting ready, fitting in conversation before the day takes over. Nothing unusual—just routine.
By Thursday, fatigue would set in—work, early mornings, and daily workouts quietly draining both energy and focus. Routine wasn’t a matter of preference; it was, and still is, protection. Even then, something would likely slip through the cracks as the week wore on.
🧱 Building the Structure
I decided to run the Athens Marathon back in December, about a month after finishing the Marshall University Marathon. It felt like a way to give structure to the winter—to keep moving forward when it would have been easier not to. Paying the entry fee only strengthened that commitment.
It felt like stacking LEGO bricks into something precise. Each piece had to fit within the existing structure of life. Not everything is meant to change. Some things are meant to hold.
Morning workouts were already the norm; they just needed to be retooled. Weekend runs grew longer. Laundry, errands, cleaning, and meal prep arranged themselves around them. The structure of the workweek held, so the miles moved earlier, stretching the edges of the day. At first, the fatigue of long runs was heavy. But the body adapted. Responsibilities did not.
🕰️ What Changed—and What Didn’t
Brick-by-brick, I learned more about distance—and about myself. And still, there were only 24 hours in a day. Running became an integrated part of it, not the center. It provided energy for everything else. Life continued, steady as ever, carried by the constant presence and love of family and friends.
Beyond my own small routines, the world kept shifting—nationally and globally, in ways both loud and subtle. Change was constant, as it always is. And still, daily life asked the same things: to show up, to care for one another, and to keep going.
🫶 What Holds
In one sense, the training changed what I believed was possible. I stretched. I learned. I crossed the finish line. The goal was reached—but that was never the point.
Crossing that line was not about changing everything. It could not have occurred without what stayed constant—the steady and loving presence of family, the rhythm of daily life, the hope that carried me, the things that held when everything else was stretched.
Let’s talk about great go-togethers. Think: peanut butter and jelly, salsa and chips, holidays and fireworks, summer and picnics . . . In life, there are certain things that go together, and often, one item “triggers” the desire for the other. For some, coffee might trigger the desire for cream, while for others, that morning cup of java triggers the desire to read the morning news. Most of us utilize the power of pairings without realizing it due to some positive association between the two linked items or habits.
Some paired items or habits are beneficial, such as soap and water or athletic shoes and walking. While others may be less beneficial, or possibly detrimental, such as smoking and socializing or ice cream and fudge sauce. Paradoxically, consider how hard it can be to start a new desirable behavior/habit, but how easily poor habits can creep into our lives. For example, what was once an ‘occasional’ chocolate indulgence has now evolved into a nightly routine after dinner.
I was reminded of the power of pairings when traveling with my husband, John, recently. We began our trip with a cooler of fresh veggies, fruit, sandwiches, dried fruit, seeds, and oatmeal, but by the end of the trip, most of this was consumed. I couldn’t help but notice how hard it was on the return trip home to find fresh vegetables–part of my mid-day meal pairing. Travel plazas were loaded with chips, candy, sodas, and so forth, but no veggies.
Trying to find veggie sticks, part of my mid-day meal habit-stack, was difficult when recently traveling.
Another travel observation was the larger number of people who paired smoking with social situations. I grew up in an era when smoking was still widely accepted and promoted; however, social smoking has been dramatically reduced, or so I thought until visiting an internationally popular tourist destination in which smoking appeared an ingrained part of the social setting among certain cultural groups.
The Power of Association, aka, the trigger
I share these examples to illustrate the power of association. Sometimes, we acquire habits, for better or worse, because one habit reinforces, or triggers, another habit. In other words, we’ve paired, or stacked, one habit with another. And, that to me, is the key to acquiring new desired habits.
If there is one positive habit we are trying to do more of, why not try pairing it with one habit we are already doing daily? Habit stacking, as it is popularly known, whether it is linking a new desired habit to an old habit, adding a beneficial behavior to an already established daily sequence or routine, or pairing two habits together, is an effective way to create, reinforce, and maintain a new desired behavior. This is because the new habit is triggered by a current habit or becomes part of an already established routine, which helps you remain consistent without feeling overwhelmed. The key is to start small.
Set out two pieces of fruit in the morning while drinking your morning cup of joe as a habit-stacked reminder to eat those pieces of fruit by day’s end as way to increase your fruit intake.
Choose one desired beneficial habit and determine your trigger or the anchor habit to which you want to attach it. Then, remind yourself–even if this means using a post it note–. “Before/after/during I ________ (current habit), I will ________ (new habit).” However, make sure it is realistic. It is important that both your anchor/triggering habit and your new desired habit fit the realities of your daily life. For example, if you have kids who are early risers, then trying to add a new habit to your morning routine may not be advisable. Likewise, if you’re repeatedly kept late after work, then trying to add in a new habit at this time of day is probably not the best choice.
Examples of Habit stacking
Nonetheless, for many of us, the morning routine is typically the strongest routine of our day. Therefore, morning may be the perfect place to start. For example, if you know you already drink coffee every morning, but want to increase your water intake, why not set a glass or water bottle in front of the coffee pot as a reminder to start drinking more water first thing in the morning before sipping your morning cup of joe. Other examples throughout the day could include:
Use the time that it takes for the coffee or tea to brew or steep to read a scripture, sacred writing, or inspirational quote to start your day on a positive note.
Likewise, use that same brew/steep time for a few morning stretches or basic exercises such as squats, heel raises, wall push-ups, etc.
If you desire to cultivate a more grateful heart, consider using the time it takes to shower or brush your teeth, as the trigger for thinking of one to three things for which you feel grateful
Want to increase your daily steps, but have to make a lot of phone calls throughout your work day? Consider using those calls as opportunities to walk or pace.
Use your morning or evening commute to listen to podcasts you’ve been meaning to listen to.
After dinner clean-up, take 15 or so minutes to set up for the next day (pack lunch, set out clothes, organize commute bag, fill water bottle, and so forth)
Not getting enough fruits and veg, but pack your lunch daily? Why not start adding one piece of fruit or fresh vegetable to your daily lunch bag?
Already have a daily walking/running habit, but want more time to read? Consider listening to audiobooks while walking/running.
Set your water bottle in front of your coffee station as a reminder to start your day with water, before coffee, and continue to drink more water throughout the day.
Unleash The Power of Habit STacking
If the power of association, or go-togethers, works for slowly incorporating less desirable behaviors, then it can certainly work for incorporating beneficial new habits. Like anything else, however, it takes time, so take that into consideration. You may successfully incorporate your new habit for several days in a row, only to “fall off the wagon” for a few days. Therefore, be flexible and forgiving with yourself in those moments, and try again the next day. With a fair amount of flexibility tempered with a dose of determination, it is possible to create a few beneficial go-togethers.
Habit-stacking can be an effective way to use existing behaviors to trigger, and hopefully establish, new beneficial habits. Remember to start small, choose a realistic anchor behavior/routine, and give it your best shot. Then, reap the benefits of your newly formed routine!
Steph Simply 