Tag: pets

Succeeding at Being Old: What an 18-year-old cat taught me about adaptation

by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

Sometimes the greatest lessons about aging, resilience, and self-compassion come from the most unexpected teachers.

It Was Supposed to Be “Easy-Peasy” 😌

“It’s so intuitive!” I was told. 

“The GPS and data are so much more reliable.”


“The battery lasts so much longer.”

I had been considering switching from one brand of smartwatch to another. Fellow runners recommended it, but so did friends and family. My husband especially encouraged the switch because I had purchased one for him years earlier.

Still, I researched and debated the switch for years before finally deciding to “set the clock,” as it were, and buy one from a local shop. The team at Robert’s Running and Walking helped me set up my new watch. They assured me that it was “easy-peasy,” and I would “love it.”

Three days into owning one, I was ready to throw in the proverbial towel—or in this case, throw the dang watch through a window. I questioned my intelligence for buying it and wondered whether I had reached a new low in technological competence. I kept asking myself, “What’s wrong with you, Steph?” 

My struggles with the new watch were not an isolated event. It was one domino in a series of small incidents that sent me spiraling into the I-am-so-stupid mindset. This negative self-talk, I have noticed, has become amplified with age. It is quite astonishing to see how quickly I can move from, “I don’t know how to do this,” to “There must be something wrong with me.” 

A Better Question 🤔

During the height of my “something is wrong with me” stretch, I came across a social media creator who became an unexpected teacher. Actually, it was the creator’s moniker that caught my attention: “Whatstrongwithu”. I love a good play on words, so this turn of phrase really stood out to me. 

Later, as I was preparing for bed, running through the day’s events with the outlook of the children’s book character, Alexander, known for his “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days,” I had a flash of inspiration. What if I flipped my inner dialogue from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What’s strong with you?” like the moniker. What abilities, experiences, persistence, curiosity, kindness, adaptability, or perhaps even wisdom do I already possess?

Then, my mind wandered to the previous week’s scare when we thought we would lose our beloved 18-year-old cat, Tippi-Tail. After beginning a new medication for hyperthyroidism, she developed alarming side effects and seemed to rapidly decline. We quickly scheduled an appointment with our veterinarian, fearing the worst. Fortunately, her symptoms turned out to be a short-lived reaction to the treatment, and her bloodwork revealed she was doing remarkably well for her age. 

Tippi-Tail’s Nine Lives 😸

Reflecting on her life further, I thought of her “nine lives”, although, truth be told, she’s had about three. When she was young, Tippi acted impulsively. In fact, we often called her “wild” as she went rip-roaring through the house, knocking over plants, and attacking our then older feline friend, Bobbi with wild abandon. We would correct her with a squirt from a water bottle and a firm “no,” but she was fearless, looking at us with her big-eyed stare of indignation. 

During her middle years, our home became busier and noisier with another cat, another dog, and our energetic daughter and her friends. The fearless kitten who once charged through the house with wild abandon was now more cautious, often retreating under beds or into closets when her world became too stimulating and overwhelming.

In recent years, since the passing of all other pets and our daughter having moved out, Tippi has become an affectionate, cuddly pet. She is now a lap cat who drools when she’s petted as her motor runs. Even more surprising, she greets guests instead of going into hiding, and will even allow them to pet her or occasionally honor them by curling up in their lap. 

Learning to Grow Older 👵🏼

It dawned on me that Tippi-Tail wasn’t meant to be the cat she once was at two years old. She can’t jump as high or move as quickly as she once did, but she still leaps into the window when the neighbor’s cat appears. Her body has changed, yet she grooms herself with meticulous care. Tippi isn’t failing at being young. She is succeeding at being old. 

At my age, my body may not move as it once did when I was younger. I may not learn new technology as quickly as I once did. I may need more recovery time than I once did. In fact, I may have to adapt how I do certain things, but that adaptation doesn’t mean I am failing. 

Watching Tippi-Tail adapt to each stage of her life reminded me of something I needed to hear myself. Like Tippi-Tail, perhaps we aren’t failing at being the younger versions of ourselves. Perhaps we are learning how to succeed at who we are now. 

Maybe the question isn’t, “What’s wrong with you?” Maybe the better question is, “What’s strong with you?” What strengths do we already possess that can help us navigate the challenges in front of us?

There is only room for love, not prejudice, even in the world of pet adoption

Featured by stephsimply, posted in Simple Observations and Musings

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” –Winnie The Pooh

Photo by Khangnht98 | u0274u1d0fu1d04u1d1bu1d07 on Pexels.com

Lucky cat 🐈‍⬛

He came into our lives as part of an abandoned litter of black cats. He was tall, long, and solid black; however, he was, along with his siblings, quite malnourished.  Our friends who discovered the passel of black kittens took them into their home and began caring for them.  Later, they asked if we would like the one they had already named LJ, which stood for Lucky Junior, named after one of their large black rescue cats named Lucky. We met him, and it was love at first sight. LJ came home with us, and the rest is feline history.

However, it was not an easy transition.  Although LJ was a lover-boy with any human who paid him the slightest bit of attention, he very early tried to establish his dominance over our female gray tuxedo cat. He was frequently caught stalking and/or jumping on her. If we did not intercede in time, the two cats would erupt in a rolling, screeching tumult of gray and black fur.  

Catching the morning sun’s rays.

Distant Friends 🐈 🦮 🐈‍⬛

There were times, more often than not, that peace reigned supreme and the two lived companionably. This peace most often fell in the light of the morning sun streaming through windows in which they both loved to lounge and loll side-by-side, but at a safe distance.  Other times, they sat together in our bay window for hours, each in their own cat beds in respective corners.  During recent years, they even began sitting with John, my husband, one on either side of his legs. 

Not too much longer after we adopted LJ, a stray dog showed up in our life.  He was a cocktail of chow, pitbull, and retriever.  It was clear he had been abused by a previous owner, and to this day, we can’t imagine why because he was such a gentle creature.  He was already house-trained, stayed close to the house when outside, and quickly became a loyal and loving family member. We named him Rusty due to the color of his fur, and it suited his old soul spirit.

However, there was one significant issue–he was not about to let LJ be the alpha pet.  He had adopted us, specifically John, my husband; and therefore, John was “his property.”  Anytime LJ attempted to sit with John, Rusty would not stand for it.  Rusty never tried to hurt LJ, but he would lay, sit, and sometimes stand, in front of John and growl, blocking LJ’s attempts at laptime. Furthermore, Rusty did not like it when LJ would start a row with Tippi, and occasionally he would growl and nip at LJ to stop his shenanigans. 

Rusty keeping LJ away from John.

Rusty Habits 🦮

Rusty had some other dog-like habits.  For example, any time Rusty would smell John cutting, cooking, and/or making a sandwich with meat, Rusty would enter the kitchen and patiently sit at John’s feet with a pitiful begging expression.  When John would sit down to eat, Rusty would be at his side looking up at John with imploring eyes desirous of scraps.

Many years later, after Rusty passed, LJ began exhibiting behaviors similar to Rusty.  He aggressively attempted to block Tippi’s attempts to sit with John. When John was in the kitchen working with meat or making a sandwich, LJ would dart into the kitchen and meow with great ferocity in hopes of fetching a few scraps. In the strangest twist of all, once Rusty was gone, whenever John would sit down to eat, LJ began to sit near John, pleading with passionate meows for scraps.  We joked that Rusty’s spirit lived on through LJ.

Who’s the alpha pet?

The Black Cat Myth 🐈‍⬛

We called LJ “our handsome boy” in our best pet voices because he was so dark and regal.  However, black cats, and even black dogs for that matter, are typically the last to be adopted, and they are the most often euthanized in animal shelters.  When completing research as to the whys of this phenomena, I discovered varied reasons. Some point to Pope Gregory IX who declared that cats bore Satan’s spirit. Others point to the middle ages when black cats were associated with witches. It is even reported that there were those who blamed cats for the spread of the bubonic plague–even though they ate the rodents that spread it. 

Regardless of the reasons, I personally find any prejudice regarding fur, or skin color for that matter, reprehensible. Cats (and dogs), like people, come in all shapes, colors, and sizes.  Each has their own personality.  Some cats, like people, are more loving.  Others are more aloof. There are those who have been mistreated, and as a result, may not yet have learned an appropriate way to behave–but, it doesn’t mean they can’t learn. 

We have had a total of four cats in our family (never more than two cats at a time though), two of which were black or mostly black.  Of the four, the two black cats were the most loving, each in their own way. Our first black cat was lovingly devoted to me, and later to our daughter, Maddie, after she was born.  However, LJ was one of a kind because he simply loved anyone and everyone who entered our house. 

A long ago Mother’s Day when my daughter, Maddie, served me breakfast in bed assisted by our two, now-passed cats, Bobbi (background) and Robbi (foreground).
LJ, being held like baby, this past Christmas by Maddie, our daughter.

Love and Loyalty 🐈‍⬛ ❤️ 🦮

LJ basked in any and all attention.  He allowed you to cradle him like a baby and rub his belly–all the while his motor would purr.  Pulling on his tail actually made him happy as long as it wasn’t too hard.  He was also proud, fastidiously cleaning any loose fur off his body. 

Best of all, he loved us.  All three of us–my husband, daughter, and me.  He had been fighting an unknown illness that no amount of blood tests or toxicology tests could determine other than to say it appeared to be some form of kidney disease.  He was prescribed a nutritional supplement which I gave him religiously.  It seemed to help until, suddenly, last Friday morning.

LJ’s swift demise occurred in less than 24 hours.  He was miserable during those last few hours, but he appeared to keep hanging on for us.  Even to the end, he was still trying to make his “motor” run for us.  During those final minutes, before the sedative kicked in, he still tried to find the strength to lift his head and look at us. He is now buried at one corner of our back porch, the opposite corner of our other beloved black cat, Bobbi.  

A separate peace.

Consider Adopting a Furry Friend 🐾

Every morning, LJ would meow for me to let him out onto this porch, so he could dutifully guard its inside perimeter.  He is no longer greeting me in this manner when I get up, and my heart still aches as a result.  Ironically, Tippi has begun meowing to visit the porch, visiting and sniffing “his corner.” She seems confused by the loss of her once rival, and often meows throughout our home in search of him. I suppose Tippi and LJ will now have a separate peace. 

When considering the decision of adopting a cat or dog, please do not allow fur color to deter you from a potential pet. Additionally, while adopting from “official” breeders is nice, please take time to consider all of the many worthy dogs and cats left at animal shelters, tossed aside at dumpsters, or dropped alongside a road that are full of an abundance love and devotion for that one special human willing to open their heart and home to them. 

In the meantime, rest in peace our handsome, handsome boy, LJ.